You ever love so much
That you're afraid of yourself?
Power coursing through your heart that compromises your mental health?
Well I've been down to the basement, to the depths of my mind and amidst the rubble of uncertainty I looked up to find an indestructible light that's always me, always now
But I can't know why it's burning, let alone how.
It's made of desire and her reflection, fear
Composed of all the love I feel for those who I hold dear
This light has no color, no face and no voice
It's all that I'm feeling and to stand in it is a choice
There's nowhere to run but it hurts to behold
I'm certain it's pain but without it I'm cold
So you see, I can't separate you all from my heart, it's a beautiful problem with no end and no start
The fact that how I know myself is through kissing the coal
That burns for the people but then implodes into a blackhole
“Bottomless pit’s” another word for unconditional
The only escape is through sedation that's medicinal
Hooked on states of mind that crave substances additional
I lie to my own face, swearing that it is nutritional
Because given the choice between numbness and pain, it's easier to hide, sacrificing all the gain
than facing the flame
But it was indifferent nothingness that made me go insane, so it's time for me to realize that there's no one but myself to blame
For the passion that consumes me that will never lie tame.
My love is a volcano, and you're the shifting of tectonic plates
It doesn't matter if you want it, I don't love you for your own sake
I can't separate you from my love of the rest
Including myself who I strive to love best
To fear my own capacity is death to my soul
So I welcome the pain, cause it carves out the bowl that holds all the joy that pours in from the source, so I'm thanking you now, forget about your high horse
Thank you for being, so I could feel myself shake
And learn how to trust myself not to break
Can't you see now the paradox of this game?
How I can thank you, but to my own heart lay claim?
**** the numbness, kiss the flame.

The day arrived, the sun was out
The sky was perfect, calm
All was as it should be
No resistance 'fore the storm
A winter gone, a spring in bloom
Things were as things should be
Fresh paint and banners hung out
For all the world to see
Bunting just the way it was
On days like this before
It showed off baseball's history
No less and nothing more
The lines were crisp and dedicated
The foul lines and the fair
The team logos were painted
Silence hung in the spring air
A church for fifty thousand
To revere this game they'll see
And if each single seat is filled
There'll be fifty thousand forty three
The boys of summer own this field
New history shall be made
While fans scream for their favorites
As the game is being played
A chess game on such pristine grass
At this park it's real
At others you will find that it
Is plastic...and lacks feel
The players, some are new as well
They were not here last year
The owners changed the line ups so
Your favorites are not here
Fathers, sons, and daughters
Share this circus every spring
It's a rite of family passage
To most a holy thing
New jerseys, hats and banners
Showing where alliegance lies
There is no joy in Mudville
As each person chooses sides
The umpires, too, begin anew
They must be on the ball
Today's game is most scrutinized
You cannot miss a call
The sense of pomp and circumstance
In this annual ceremony
Breaks out all of the rituals
In a loud cacophony
The teams announced and anthems sung
Color parties raise the flags
This is what baseball's all about
Home plate and three new bags
The smell of ******* jack and beer
Hot dogs and candy corn
Soon start to infiltrate the park
And they break up this fresh morn
The players sit below now
Waiting for the game to start
Cliche speeches break the air
As the managers play their part
It's time to all get ready
Put this years "uni" on
And to rid your self of buttlerflies
And get that feeling gone
You check yourself before hand
Make sure that the outfits good
And you go over the ground rules
And know exactly what you should
Your'e as important to this game now
You are the holder of their fate
For your job is most important
You let the patrons though the gate
The actors in this rite of spring
Are varied in their roles
From players, umps and concessioneirs
They all make baseball whole
The opening of each season
Shows off every single team
From the players out there on the field
To the ones behind the scenes.
You put your best foot forward
Because you want them all to say
That baseball is just special
Because of Opening Day.

"It's ok to cry just don't let them see."
Words my mother taught me.
She never told me who "them" was supposed to be.

So I assumed them was the world and built up walls.
Not to push people away,
just to protect myself-
from unspecified dangers and risks.
Like heartbreak, and heartache and being breakable.

But brick by brick you're crumbling those walls.
Without even trying, there's no force at all.

And I feel like Jericho,
where suddenly I'll be open...
And what if I get burned too?

I have drawn
The lines of your silhouette
My ring finger
Dark from smudging
The shadows behind your head;
I color it now
Where is that brown
Accurate enough
To capture the secrecy in your eyes,
That kind of green
That matches the shirt you wore
The one I tore that night?
Painting the memory of you
However, the colors I use
Mask your true colors,
My muse.
Because you are black and white
Your rainbows are shades of minimal
There is no space for red
Or opening up for my sake
But I see;
That is a happy face
Listening to the blues
Below the surface.
You are black and white
Would you like some colors, I ask.
Hand over on the brush,
Just say the word,
Let me be pastel in your world.

First impressions.
          Opening lines.
That’s how people will judge you.

       Leaving actions.
             Final words.
That’s how people will remember you.

It started with opening my eyes and looking straight ahead.
eventually I turned said head to the left.
(this happens to be the direction my ***** know lives)
then I look to the right and my sense of direction begins.

I learn about forward and backward and the perception of depth.
I percieve things far away that i long for, gain understanding of inevitable death
With both eyes now open my world starts to scale out of hand,
I learn the earth is round.
I am not the only man roaming these lands there are many others like me
treading slowly, roaming with half eaten buffalo screaming "A gods utter profound."

i see the sun rise in the east.
I see the sun dive daily to its death in the west.
I hear the wind coming from the south and take a deap breath.
I scream, "bring it on *******!" head north and rest.


With one eye open I flick my finger to the death of perception.
goodbye and goodnight my dear sense of direction.

I want to run.
Be free.
Be the little girl they see in me,
but plot-twist happen frequently,
opening your eyes to things you didn't see.
Burning the cheerful into your mind.
If only I didn't once leave that behind.
If I could return to those naive, fun days.
But fun was out and sad was in,
so I figured "well okay."
I dived right in,
singeing my skin,
turning me to the pit.
I was told,
"don't follow your instincts",
so I guess this is what I get.
Now I sit alone,
a pitiful lump of coal,
as a dog without bone,
or soccer ball with no goal.
I'm heading to "God knows where"
on a train called "Oopsy Days,"
and when I arrive,
they will all be amazed.
For I am the writer
who will give them a story,
for I am a lighter,
and my flame gives me glory.