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Santa got a letter
From a young boy in Duluth
Will there be a Christmas
Say, it's not the truth

We heard that you aren't coming
This virus is real bad
Folks say there'll be no Christmas
And Santa, I'm quite sad

A virus keeping me away
What does this child say
A Christmas without Santa?
No gifts on Christmas Day

A week went by and letters came
They all said the same thing
We heard there was no Christmas
No gifts to us you'll  bring

So Santa called a meeting
He had to find out for himself
He called everyone around him
Including his top elf

Folks, this is a problem
These children are upset
This virus that they speak of
Is it one that I could get?

Research, do a study
Find out what's going on
I'll not stay home this Christmas
On Christmas eve, I'm gone

So, the elves all started searching
They checked and made the calls
This virus was a bad one
They've cancelled Santa at the malls

A week went by and Santa
Called a meeting just to see
If the virus was a dangerous
Would Christmas cease to be?

Santa,  said his favorite elf
You'll need to have a mask
So, we've started on designing
It is our major task

Santa said, he'd wear one
If it was what he had to do
I need to keep the children safe
Just, make sure that it's not blue

Another week, more meetings
A mask had been  designed
It covered up his nose and mouth
And it ******* in behind

I can't wear that on Christmas Eve
It will not stay in place
The knots will loosen over time
It'll slide around my face

The letters kept on pouring in
The kids all had to know
Was Santa staying home this year?
Was Christmas a no-go?

Another meeting, one more mask
This looked like Santa's beard
I like it, but, there is no mouth
I think it looks quite weird

Think boys, do your magic
You make toys and are the best
A simple little face mask
Should not put you to the test

Another mask, another fail
Time was getting short
If they could not deliver soon
This Christmas, he'd abort

Another meeting came and went
So Santa said to write
A letter to all magic folk
Maybe they can set this right

Two weeks before the big day
There was a small knock at the door
A fairy stood before him
She looked no more than four

Santa, I can help you
You want a mask you can see through
You do not want to scare the kids
They have to see it's you

Exactly, that is my plan
But, can your mask do all these things
She said, my mask is magic
It's made of fairy wings

She went inside with Santa
She told him fairy wings were tough
They could do all that Santa wanted
And lots of other stuff

The problem with my plan though
Is if I give my wings away
Wherever I am at in time
That is where I'm bound to stay

A sacrifice like that is huge
Do you want to make that choice?
There's no Christmas without Santa
She said in her small voice

You'd have to stay up here with us
A winter fairy you will be
Although you will be wingless
You'll like it here you'll see

She blinked her eyes and wiped her tears
It's what I want to do
I'll give them up to make your mask
And I'll stay up here with you

Santa, too was crying
This was the gift that he would need
He called his elven council
And tasked them with their deed

It took about a week or so
They made the magic gift
Invisible and see through
It gave Santa's heart a lift

The loops to go around his ears
Were as thin as thin could be
The mask, well, it was perfect
And there was nothing you could see

Santa put the mask on
Took a breath, and all was fine
There will surely  be a Christmas
And I love this mask design

The fairy was now wingless
She followed Santa all around
But, you could she see was not happy
She could no longer leave the ground

Santa called another meeting
Now that the mask is done
I have another job boys
And it is an easy one

He told them what he wanted
Gave a time when it was due
I need it to be perfect
Do the magic that you do

The big day came and all was set
The sleigh was set to go
The reindeer were excited
There was fresh, white, Christmas snow

Tonight, I will endeavor
To make this Christmas night the best
I'll deliver all the gifts you made
And I have one here in my vest

He called the fairy forward
He said the joy that Christmas brings
Will go on with no stopping
Because you gave your wings

For you my dear I have a gift
It's made from Christmas snow
A little elven magic,
And at this, the box did glow

She took the box, and opened it
Tears were in her eyes
A perfect pair of fairy wings
Measured perfectly to size

Santa, these are lovely
But, my wings, I gave to you
No dear, these are special
These fairy wings are new

You do not need to stay here
You can fly again and go
I made these to say thank you
You saved Christmas don't you know

I know you know the answer
She stayed there, need you ask
That kids is the story
Of Santa Claus's magic mask
Hunter was happy
The rain was now done
He could go out in the yard
And have some real fun

Staying inside
when there was so much to do
He had to go hunting
For his alphabet zoo

Hunter like letters
And numbers and things
He also likes dreaming
and the joy that it brings

He pulled out his toy box
And he dragged it outside
I'm going to go hunting
He put his hat on with pride

An old hunting helmet
And one wellington boot
A runner, his jacket
And a toy gun to shoot

I'm off to go hunting
I'll will fill a whole zoo
Just call me for dinner
And with that...he was through

A boy's mind is special
They can imagine the world
Is a magical jungle
That to them is unfurled

A zoo from a toy box
All in order....you'll see
He would fill up his zoo
From A back to Z

First came an aardvark
Then a ******, all stuffed
Then a cheetah, a donkey
All cuddly and puffed

E made him think
Yep...an earwig or two
It fit with the letters
And it would go in his zoo

F was a frog,
Made of rubber and green
G ...a gorilla
With a smile, not mean

H was a horse
with a cowboy as well
The zoo, it was growing
And to him, that was swell

I....had him thinking
It's my zoo after all
So, if I can't get a letter
It won't matter at all

J was a jacks game
Not an animal too
But, the jacks looked like spiders
And this was Hunters zoo

K...that was easy
A Kangaroo with a pouch
L was a llama
With three legs and a slouch

M was a monkey
A whole barrel he had
He played with these some
He wasn't doing half bad

In all of an hour
He had collected a herd
Of stuffed toys, ***** and jacks
And he still had no bird

N was a nerf ball
Or a dinosaur egg
It could be what he wanted
He'd now found that fourth leg

The llama assembled
O was easy for him
An octopus floaty
That taught him to swim

P was a parrot
With feathers all red
Q...that's a tough one
He thought to himself in his head

R was a rhino
With no horn, it was broke
S was a snake
His dad bought as a joke

T was a tough one
A terra-dac-til said he
Not knowing the spelling
And that it started with P

U ...under water
so he found a stuffed fish
This was not all that easy
V...well tosh tish

I'll catch two of another
If I can't think of one
Hunting out in the yard
Is really quite fun

W...a walrus
with a moustache and tusks
Like the gorilla before
made of coconut husks

X...was a tough one
Another dinosaur came
Made from his xylophone
And this dino was tame

Y was a yak
He didn't know what it was
But, he just liked the name
So, a yak ....just because

Z was a zebra
blue and black with no white
He'd colored it in with a marker
When he got bored one night

He'd been out for a while
When he heard his mum yell
Time to come in
Bring your toy box as well

All through his dinner
He told of what he had caught
Of the alphabetic adventures
And the creatures he'd got

He watched tv for a while
Then it was bath time and bed
Where Hunter the hunter
Now had a full head

Now, he was dreaming
Of all he must do
This was Hunter the hunter
And his alphabet zoo
Norman Rockwell and Jim Unger
Artists from my past
I've met one but not the other
A memory that  will last

Who the hell is Bertrand Russell?
I asked over a drink
A man who changed the world forever
Changed the way we think

I remember the Norman Rockwell painting
It's burned deep  inside my mind
But, I have got a copy
It's the best one that you'll find

An artist unknown to others
But, a special one to me
My father drew old Russell
It's quite a piece to see

It's never been inside a book
And never will it be
But, Bertrand Russells' wrinkles
Mean a lot to me

Jim Unger and his Herman
Were a favorite of my brother
The artist and his humour
Were unlike any other

We met him at a signing
My brother brought his art
He showed it to Jim Unger
He broke my brother's heart

My brother was an artist
Just like my Dad as well
Their art, not for the public
Their art, was not to sell

Their art should be remembered
Their art should be displayed
Like a vintage guitar  sitting
It's better if it's played

So, now two artists pictures
Hidden for an age
Will be shown, for everybody
On a printed page

I give you first, my brother
Ian Turner was his name
No longer is he with us
But, this will show he came

The second one, my father
John Turner, is his name
His drawing days behind him
But, man did he have game

So, here for your enjoyment
Rockwell via Turner number one
Followed by Ungers' Herman
That was done by Turner's son
written for my brother and my dad. Ian Turner (1966-2017) and John Turner (1940 - still going strong)
Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Get all geared up
Go to the store
Can't find a thing
That you came for

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

Keep people safe
Don't touch too much
Remember you must
Wipe what you touch

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Best stay at home
Do not go out
Eat what you want
Till you run out

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

So, Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag
Stay safe at home, doing the Covid Rag
Doing the Covid Rag, Doing the Covid Rag
Virus Covidius, it is quite insidius
Much worse than Ty-phoid Mary
They say it arrived from China
But, I'm thinking North Regina
Virus Covidius, it's gonna get rid of us
It's so contagious they cancelled baseball
It's affecting the world from Brazil to Nepal
You can't go to church, but, your'e safe at the mall
This virus called covidius
da da da, da da da, da da da, da da da,

You can go buy, at the shops, if you try
If you're ready to get in line
Toilet paper is out, there is none about
But, you can still get wine
Oh virus covidius
If you shop for toilet tissue
You'll find none, and that's an issue
Oh virus covidius, it's quite insidius
It's much worse than the Spanish Flu
They say isolation, stay home alone
Watch your tv, play games on the phone
Just rearranging the things that you own
You can thank the **** covidius
Da Da Da, Da Da, Da,Da, Da Da, Da, Da Da
Always wear a mask and please keep your distance
Simple, but met with resistance
They are all saying don't touch your face
Stay six feet apart and give me my space
Da da da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
If a second wave comes and hits us much harder
I'll have lots of food stored here in my larder
But then there is still the issue
Of Where do I find toilet tissue?
Da da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Oh virus covidius, it is quite insidius
It's changed the way that we live
They've cancelled all of the games that we play
From down in Montana, to old Mandalay
With out a vaccine, we just live for today
You can blame covidius
da da da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
I said covidius, yes covidius
I said covidius yes covidius
Da da.
beer and whiskey
meat and potatoes
working class
no umbrella drinks
ingredients i can say
country and western
rock and roll
black and white
no shades of gray
closed on sunday
the big three
cigarettes and beer
ladies and escorts
afternoon baseball
no night games
pitchers hitting
players spitting
doctors smoking
***** magazines
45s and 33s
life delivered
eat at home
no school breakfasts
station wagons
Christmas cards
Community dinners
Fenced in yards
Chicken pox parties
Buying with cash
Bonfires while camping
Trophies to winners
Church Christmas Pageants
Father/ Son Dinners
Plain not unsalted
Till Death us do part
Meat and Potatoes
Whiskey and Beer
I'll be home for Christmas baby
Just you wait and see
There'll be an extra present
Underneath the tree
I'll be home for Christmas baby
We'll be together you and me
I tell you babe
that you can count on me

Remember all the good  times
We had, not long ago
We'd roast chestnuts in the fire
And make angels in the snow
I'll be home for Christmas baby
I just wanted you to know
It'll be a family Christmas
I just wanted you to know

I have to tell you baby
I've been clean for ninety days
I no longer see our future
Through a blurry, fuzzy haze
I have to say I love you
And that I have changed my ways
Just take me back
For one last chance I pray

I am sorry for the battles
I don't know why we fought
I've looked back and I've determined
That most were all my fault
Like the kid there in the kitchen
Red handed I was caught
Now I know that I have found
The redemption I have sought

I'll be home for Christmas baby
Just you wait and see
There'll be an extra present
Underneath the tree
I'll be home for Christmas baby
We'll be together you and me
I tell you babe
that you can count on me
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