It's not the time for a boyfriend
It's not
And I am not just saying

I am in between
My life is within
It's not the right time for a boyfriend

No relationship would be right right now
I am not myself
I have to figure out

Everything is changing now
It is transformation time
Somehow

And all in all
That's what I am trying to say
It's not the right time for a boyfriend
It's not.

Oh routine you are gorgeous
Let me feel nor old nor young
Oh routine, all my emotions
They are simply dead and gone
Cause routine, you are here
And you're making me flow
From the minute to day
To the week and Monday
All the way to the night
You're my day-satellite
Nothing new on my way
And as long as you stay
There won't be a single creation.

All I have is the routing vane
And the color of hay
Lighting everyday
Even blood of my veins
And the pulse of my brain
Have the same and old color
Of routine-blinded pain.

Trust the process. They say.
But what if I am the process?
Anyway, my mind is directing my actions,
My body's the one to obey.
But shouldn't it be in a vice versa way?

To listen to the body, for a change.
I can imagine that, but can I manage that?
The body knows the healthy way,
Why should my mind lead instead?

Back to the roots, they say.
I weren't there, I state.
I cannot know for sure,
The origin of human way.

Does the body ever speak to me though?
Oh, I'm sure it at least sometimes whispers.
Don't eat that sugarfilled product, you,
I need simply more oxytocin.

This one weak voice, you can realize,
If you pay attention very closely,
Our bodies miss the human touch,
But we feed it with chocolate, almost chocking.

Our bodies miss sports, exercise,
Do you feel, how your muscles get weaker?
Get out there, for a fresh morning run,
Your body will be happier much quicker.

Let your health be the leader of your day,
Listen to your inner body's voice,
It has every minute-hour, much to say,
It's about life, for what it's worth.

Our bodies miss love,
Our mind's blown away,
Shouldn't we listen up,
And give our bodies a say?

To write a poem
Without a reason
Isn't as easy at all
It is like being in prison
While outside is a freezing fall

At least Im in warmth
Thought the prisoner then
This space is enough
This is how I'll defeat
Myself in the dark but a warm
A Prisoner's room
A cell and a loop
Of daily routine
Are just like poutine
For those people to fight
It's like energy light

It isn't easy at all
To write a poem about any thing
Because when there's no goal
You gotta create one and think.

The prisoner tried
To reason, believe
He started to fight
And relived a relief

Only me and my mind
In a beautiful space
Only me and a feeling
That I welcome, embrace
I relive it, believe it,
Take it into my arms
And I think to myself
This is how we do arts

Numb?
No actually better already,
Painful?
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.

Pseudogedichte
Mag ich
Immer wieder
Schreib' ich
Nehm mich selbst nicht ernst
Versteck' ich meine Wahrheit
Verstecke meinen Schmerz.

Will Menschen zum Lachen bringen,
Will Freude in sie auswringen,
Die letzte, die ich habe
Nur heute noch,
Einer der letzten Tage.

So *******es.
In mir weint es.
Es schreit -
Die Angst vorm Tod.

Wie fühlten sich die Verurteilten?
Diejenigen, die wussten,
Bald werden sie tot?

Hätten sie noch körperliche Schmerzen zu beklagen?
Hatten sie noch Schwere auf dem Herzen?
Ich frage mich das
Wahrscheinlich umsonst.

Love is confusing these days
Some say it never stays
The others claim
It only comes after some time,
When you and your partner
Left the infatuation behind.

Some say Love is spiritual,
It is the truth, the energy,
that holds the universe in an embrace...
It was always here
and in our hearts it remains.

Each verse shows me
Whatever love means
or is meant to be -
I know less and less
But at least I confess
My pure unknowingness

Reaching out into the emptiness
of my heart,
Calling out your name
in vain,
Why the hell had I wanted this?
Why would I ever tear us apart?

It feels as though there are two people here,
the one who acted before and me today.
I kinda know that I broke up with you
But it’s too hard to move on this way.

I feel such grief, sadness, loss and confusion,
And I feel angry at myself for feeling so,
It seems that over you I’ve chosen an illusion,
A beautiful bouquet of flowers, nothing more.

Trust forever
An impossible mission
Whenever I am trying
I simply fail miserably

Can't imagine to break free
Without to lose connection
Two parts within me
Split apart forever ?

Dreaming
Such romantic dreams
All the time
It's all in my head,
It seems.

This one message
I won't read it
This one message
I ever needed

Connected
Is what I want us to be
I should give us the chance
No running away

The confidence we'll need
We'll find
If this is what will happen.
I just want to trust
In your eyes
I will meet my fears
And go beyond

It's gonna be worth it
To show you my tears
Fall into your arms
I want this
But it only will happen
If it's supposed to.
I can't force it, you know.
Though I can stay present for us
And believe in the best outcome.
I'd never want to hurt you ever
Trust me
How you feel does matter
To me

I am afraid
And shaking insecurely
Can you bear my unaware times
Can you hold me when I am almost breaking in 1000 tears...
Biting together my teeth
Caring about what every body thinks..

I am honestly afraid
To get lost in somebody else's eyes
But if that's what is supposed to happen
Then I guess it will
...
Guess there's a part of me
That's searching for someone else
To fall for
And that part I have tried to ignore
But I'll try and accept it after all
Otherwise it'll always be there...
I know it's hard to trust
When I tell you these things
When I share everything....
Is it fair?

I still think I could get to know you better
Every time I tried to listen to you
You showed your true self
Opened up I guess..
I might be too confused and distracted by my own self all the time..

I won't be sorry but I struggle on the inside.
Will I be able to transform myself?
Though then it won't be for you...
Nor for nobody else.
I have to do it for myself.
Cause otherwise the lesson will come again... It will repeat itself.

Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.

Just remember that.

Sadness creeps in
And keeps my warmth out
As though my internal warmth
Wanted to leave in form of tears.

Lost inside
Fractions of mind
Consciousness split

Bubbling up
Unhealthy impulses
Hurting

Hurting
Hunting
Hating

Conflicting parts
No peace
No bliss

Paralyzed
In a dissociative
Circle

Let me out!
You have to endure.
Every feeling

So I am enduring
Breathing
Numb

Opening one eye
Hate. Closing it.
Opening another eye
Lust. Losing it.

Never opening both eyes for too long.
Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.
Searching.

Reminder?
How to connect with myself
When there are 100 parts
Within me arguing.
Unpleasantly.

Who am I?
Who was I yesterday?
And an hour ago?

I am fear.
Afraid to lose control.
I am freedom in disguise.
Lock me up.
Hide me in those woods.
Tyranny.

Being is survival
Existence a struggle
When you fight.

So stop.
STOP.
Stop fighting. Now.

It's getting me worried
It loses all glory
Confusion and fears
Is there, what appears

Another strange moment
The energy's missing
Its colour is new
A new day processing

As if I changed
My program in brains
As if the software
Needed some updates

Relaxed but tense
The opposites rule
Too less defense
Too much to do

The energy's a useful tool
I need to get from somewhere
It should appear inside of me
Not the confusion, that I see

I kinda lost something
The passing days
I tried to evaluate
But it's a mess

I wanted it perfect
I wanted it right
But now life's teaching me
It's alright

I gotta accept it
I gotta move on
I gotta just stop
Comparing at all

Too much to question there
I know, I don't know where
The best solution's hiding
But I will fight, Ill find it

This is already
What I do right now
I give myself energy
I give myself power

I encourage myself
To go on
Keep on moving
On fighting
Stop crying
Amusing how dramatic it sounds
My creativity now is unbundling

I will heal the confusion
I will break the illusion
I will always keep going
And myself, it is growing

Hah
As I am understanding myself more and more
I am watching

My suffering,
Wanting to grasp its core.

Tons of shame and of blame.

My little self somewhere underneath
Trying to breath.

Every day when it's time to meditate
I allow my pain to rise.

Every time I'm hoping to arrive
At some deep new revelation.

But it looks as though
There is no final destination.

Looking at how I'm looking at myself.
Am I wasting my time?
There's nothing to see
Apart from Me and Me and Me.

Self-loathing, then holding myself close.
Because I remember to breath and to pause.
Because I remember about compassion.
But still, this process is much work.

I wish things were easier, lighter,
I wish I'd knew what I want to fight for,
I wish I'd understood my relationships better,
I wish I wouldn't blame myself for everything including weather...

I wish. I wish. I wish.

The hardest part is to let go,
Whatever that means.
It's as unsatisfying
As this poem's ending.

She was there alone that night
She was thinking, she felt fright
She was alone and there was light
She didn't go, she didn't mind

He was a perfect idea of many
He would have found her
And understood
She was alone and the night rather rainy
She stayed at home here
She embraced her fear

Fears and Ideas
Mixed up together
Just as a bright foggy snowy weather
Tumbling around
Feeling dizzy and drunk
Thoughts are confusing
Why do they matter?

She sat there and sat
The candle burned red
The light throwing scary pictures around her
She tried to believe, she hoped
But today she didn't received the relief
Anyway

Precious time
Great ideas
I am using these

I don't want
To lose them
Make them useless

Automatically
Planning out
Creativity
Is the ground

No illusions
Can be found
No strategic
Or deep wounds

Truth is happiness
With no fear
And creations are
Its best friends

Beautiful
Nice to hear
This is how this short poem
Ends

Silence
I invite you
To bring me the truth

Silence
I adore you
For you are what you are

Silence
You help me
Find myself again

Silence
You are an anchor
In this present moment

Silence
You are here
And you always were

Silence
Sometimes
You are louder than words

Silence
In your lullaby
I want to fall asleep softly

Silence
In your presence
I am.

Something very deep inside
Something I have tried to hide
Somewhere farther than my mind

Something I don't understand
Something deep inside my head
Somewhere I can't really get

Something that I just have found
Something big something unproud
Somewhere no one ever got

Something huge
Something new
Something scary

Something I will work out soon
Somewhere only me and moon
Thinking deeply, using time
Feeling like myself and I

Shall the weirdness stop that day
It ain't meant to stay forever
I will deal with it, find the reason why
This new challenge shall begin!
And the light is there to guide
Through the darkness of my mind
Through confusion, through the night.

Could have been
But it wasn't, oh,
Could have seen
But I didn't care.

It's alright, baby,
Just the way it is,
No need to change a thing.

It's alright, baby,
Just the way it is,
No need to fall apart.

I'm not worried about my life
I am worried about my image
I am trying to strive and strive
Performing on a stage
Called life of strife
This life of strife

Hör auf, listen to me
Du bist nicht so wichtig
As it seems to be.
What? You feel hurt again?
I don't know what to do
My friend.

I don't know what to do, my friend.

Maybe later it's going to get better
Maybe later it's going to be fi-ine

Maybe later it's going to get better
Maybe later it's going to be fine...

I am here.
It's ok, breath.
I love you.
I know, it's difficult sometimes.
We fall into patterns of wanting to make everyone around us happy. But ourselves.
We sometimes need time to see and realize this.
To recognize what is happening.
We are learning.
It's good you show yourself as you are.
I have your back.
You don't need to control anything or anyone.
Just be and relax.
Just be yourself.
You are safe here.
I am always here for you.

You never know
So try
It can hurt
But you won't die
To try it
Is still amazing
Since you're trying
You're not lazy
Fighting for yourself
Giving it a chance
Overstep the boarder
To get a reward

Stop to
Think
I can't
You keep
Chasing
Me
Haven't
Heard
From you
Waiting
Desperately
Old and new
At once
But I never
Know
Love
Is either
There
Or it's
Only show

Strange
Emotions
Call
Strange
Thoughts
And stay
Not knowing
Where to go
Or what the purpose is
They either question things
Or set up a confusion
And in the end
I realize that
All those thoughts
Were an illusion

this is my conclusion

There are quite a few
Sweet things:
The summer
And the sun,
My cheeks,
Your smile...
Your perfume...
Me writing poems about you.
Some comfy clothes,
The evening lights,
The stars,
The milky way
And mars,
Inline skating,
Even if long time ago,
Playing bongos
And cajon.

It's sweeter even
Just to dance,
To give myself
A daily chance,
To feel free,
And just to move
Only for me,
Nothing to prove.
The beat, the groove
The melody,
Are guiding lights
To me.

The sweetest thing
Is life itself -
To live it fully,
To accept oneself.
Be present now,
Not lost in images
For ages
That keep you
Trapped inside
Your beautiful
Sweet mind.

Tell me
Why
Tell me
Why
Tell me
How
I don't know
Tell me
When
Tell me
What
Tell me
Who's gonna show?

I'm gonna testify my love to you,
I feel so horrified, and so don't you.
You don't even know what I went through.
After two years thinking about you.

I tried to love someone but you.
But I never felt the same again as for you.
So I decided to set you finally free,
I need you to know about me.

I need to tell you, I loved you.
I don't even know, if I still do.
I have not seen you for a long while,
And I almost forgot how you smile.

But tomorrow is the day and I will know,
If I still do love you like long ago.
Anyway I wanna tell you that I did.
I just need you to know about it.

Well, the plan is insecure, I agree.
But it's something I decided for me.
If not in this life, when can I tell,
Someone I loved for real, what I feel.

I tried to figure out the words,
I'm gonna use.
If we are honest,
I don't have as much to lose.
I'm gonna take a joker and tell you,
"I fell in love with you, when I met you".

I am so excited about your reaction,
I can't wait for it, honestly.
Although simultaneously I am,
So afraid, that I can barely breath.

I hope I can finally say it,
And of course, I might surprise you a lot.
I mean, if we're honest, we're not close.
And not close enough for that matter at all.

Somehow I am happy though that you live
In a different city than me,
Although there's a distance between us,
It will be possible to flee.

I don't know what to expect. Honestly.
There are too many unknowns in the equation.
But I chose truth for once and we'll see,
How I'll manage to testify to thee.

This pride
This time
That you
I found
However
That happened
It's marvellous
Thanks God
Thank you
I thank myself
This great achievement's
More than gorgeous
I know, I've known
Not always
How much
I appreciate
You and me
But the real
Feelings' touch
Shook me up
Irresistibly

The anchor of my heart
Please let me work

Stop holding me back
This struggle's a fact

Set me free instead
Let me focus on something but that

The anchor of my heart is too heavy
To move forward

I wanna cut it off
But I don't have the power

The anchor of my heart
Killed the message, the life
It is always there, this strife

And I can't move it
It's calm but heavy
It pulls my heart down
To the ground
Until the motion
Is frown
And there is no way back
I'd better understand
My emotions instead
The only way out
Is not to scratch on the surface
To ignore the internal maze
But to take a deep breath in
And to deal with the anchor within

I feel groggy
On my way
My mind is foggy
But bright my day

For if I am honest
I like to tell stories
The ones which end up
In a fairytale

I am the captain of my life
The decks are colorful
Avoiding any kind of strife
I use my special tool

I use the light
The happiness
I choose to fight
And not to rest

Albeit
I can't forget your face
Your smile's dynamics
Your magical eyes
The love you give
The warm, the bright


The decks are shaking
My mind is breaking
I'm losing control
Over my own soul
It's trembling, it fears
As if it was panicking
Fighting with tears
But those are the joyful
The beautiful ones
They are a part of
Something tremendous
Of something so real
That it hurts

The captain stands straight
He isn't afraid
His hope doesn't fade
He tries to adjust
The balance the faith
The love and the trust
To sort out the voices
The signals the settings
That are covered with dust

He feels quite dizzy
The heart is uneasy
Albeit his soul still
Desires to feel
The warmth on the inside
With hope as the starlight
Remembering moments
To help him get out

As he is addicted
To the powerful might
His eyes turn grey
His heart fills with fright
Still sticking to something
The adrenaline
His mind and his soul
And his heart
In between

I allow you to be
I know you're inside of me
Hell, you are a part of me
And with me you will stay forever.

Now I have given you so many names,
I still know though what I mean.
I mean this certain body place
And everything around it.

You are my energy,
My love and hate,
All the emotions,
You are my deep wound,
My black hole,
My darkest out of the most darkest places in the universe.

Myself. You are. Myself.
My hidden and forbidden parts.
My shame, but also help and health,
My flow, my movement, my relief,
My strength, my feelings, my belief,
My life, my truth, my happiness,
It's all in you, I knew, I knew.

I really want to allow you
To come and show yourself
You have been hidden there
For many years
You hid your fears and even tears,
You lied, you cried on the inside,
You couldn't step out and be free,
You didn't know that you were ME,
That access to the freedom I denied to thee,
And now I finally am trying to set you free.

All things you have been hiding cause of shame,
Because of blame,
From people who meant much to thee.  

Oh trust me, please.
I mean, I understand,
How can I talk to you with ease,
After all these years ...
Just like that.

But I have only now for real discovered,
Who was hiding from whom all this time.
And the real me that I have buried and covered,
Now is afraid to trust the I.

I totally get that. I hurt myself.
By listening to everybody else.
But I was just a kid, you know, we were.
We totally just started to take baby steps...
When **** began to crush our brain,
It's almost a wonder, we found ourselves again.
So after all these years, forgive me, please?
I have never cared more about you, than today.

From all this pain
I learned, I needed you,
You are my core,
My light, my life, my love.
Never again will I ignore you,
And I know just this poem
Will not be enough.

I am fighting for you tough
From now on.
I have started a long time ago,
But only now I understand,
That to reunite with you, I need to stop to pretend.

I really meant every word I said.
I will always have you, by my side.
What a fool would I be
To just lie to me and thee
Again and again?

No. It stops. And I will be trying hard.
To listen to you, my one and only heart
My deepest honest part,
The one that counts the most,
You are my personal universe.

You are my inner child.
My energy and connection,
Don't worry, I will drop my strife for the perfection.
I only want to finally be free,
And take you back to be
Where you belong.

With me. My dearest self,
You do belong with me.
And I am trying to give you hope
And welcome you,
Where now we both will be
United.
Just how we were, when we were three years old.
Before the world divided us,
Before we lost each bit of trust.
Now finally connected
And I never want to let you go ever again.

Should I ever lose your voice again,
Promise me to make some noise, ok?
Now that I know how your voice would sound,
I will quickly look for you
Until you're found.

If you don't call
I will not either
It is so cold without you
If you will fall
But won't catch me
I will not cry
About it
Since I can live
Without it

If you don't talk
So will not I
The silent wall
Between us
If you are tired
So am I
I will not entertain us

If you forget
I can do too
Sometimes fear
Is a useful tool
Afraid of pain
Of having lost
I better let you
Fall down first

If you don't see
So won't do I
I will not cry
And will not fight
If you will try
To get me back
I might come back
But only once
Again

Ghosting
Ghosting
I am ghosting myself

Wasting
Wasting
I am wasting my life

Shadows
Shadows
Shadows all around me

Sadness
Sadness
Sadness is the last thing

That makes me happy y y

Once upon
A time
A King
Spoke in a
Rhyme:
"Tonight Folks,
You will not believe
I'll show you
Something very deep
Inside of me
The secret is
Too hard to keep...
Too long have
I waited to speak
It out loud."

everyone
in the crowd
listened excitedly
to the royalty
speaking in clarity:
"My dearest crowd"

everyone bowed
to the King's Sound

As he went on:
"What's meant to be
Is what is nature's will.
For what feels right
Is what is real"

the people stood still...
waiting for more
the King being nervous
they couldn't ignore...
While he took a deep breath in
and scratching his chin let them know:

"So friends, I'll tell you
What I mean...
From now on
I will be your Queen."

She's deeply disappointed and angry as it seems
She lives in a land of broken hearts and shattered dreams
Unfortunate for me to be her mirror
I wish it was something that helped her see clearer

How hurt and abandoned one person must feel
Nobody to love her and help her to heal
She doesn't see nor her sorrow nor grief
The manipulation is her only relief

I don't want to pity her but
Want to feel compassion
I must admit for me
It's challenging as well
I try to be as present as I can

I'm paying my respects to all these survivors
I have struggles explaining how draining it feels
I feel worry, sadness and anger for
This land of broken hearts and shattered dreams.

Done blaming myself
Want to give myself love
That I deserve

Been fake
And treating badly myself
For far too long

Done being harsh with myself
I wanna grow
Although accepting myself
For who I am

I see the light in my eyes
I just woke up
Now I again recognize
My love and soul

I wanna give me the strength
I'm gonna need
I will be there for myself
From now on
Again

I won't be afraid
Of losing myself
Because
I'm here

I stop crusading myself,
I am still here

I see the light
In my eyes
It makes believe
I see the sun
And the moon
And I can breath

<3

Whatever happens - I am ready
No fears, only excitement
Whatever happens, nothing bothers
Here I am, no suffering, no more

Embracing every obstacle
Like in a game
Even if I got too much out of the frame
Whatever happens, I am ready now
No questioning, no doubts
Playing around
So happy
Being me
That's what I like to be

You're a thief
You're stealing all my thoughts
You're a butcher
Tearing me apart
You're my muse
For you're my inspiration
You're my alarm
I wake up to your vibration
You're like space
So huge but not to see
You're the sun
You're blinding me
You're my favorite song
It's your voice I hear
This flowering fragrance
When you appear
You're the one for a dance
And to give a kiss
You're the one to love
You're the one to miss

You're my reason why
And I'd have to lie
If I said that it's over
For me

There is no such thing as bein' adult
It's just an expression of many
It's just an abstraction-puddle
In which humans are hiding forever.

There's no such thing as the adult world
Cause every person lives on Earth
And here at times everyone takes a sword
To conquer this castle or another

There's no such thing as an adult behavior
Cause every person feels giggly at times
In fact these times are the ones we remember
We don't need to label them "a child inside"

There is no such thing as an adult
But you can call everyone a child
Cause that's the first name we're all given
And we all are trying to hide

There is no such thing as an adult
The only thing there's is an actor
And acting forever, without a break
The need to hide, to lie, to fake
It's all but good for a human being
Who's trying to avoid the lifeless way of living

The sinner is you
I've fallen for you
And there's no reason
Not to be true
It is the wrong season
For me and you
Confess your sin
Or live within
The sinner is you
Since now I love you

Out of time
No one minds
Anything
At all

Floating
Two crazy
Minds
And two
Whirring
Souls

Far away
But home
In your
Arms

Your touch
And comfort
Warm
Like
Home
In
Winter
Like snowflakes
On the windows
Painting.

Like the sound
Of rain in the summer.
Soft.
Cozy.
Refreshing.

Everlasting
Moment
With
No
Time.

Harmony
Is our
Song
I am sure
You heard it
Too.
This night.

I wanna be somebody with a heart
Who suffered enough
From self-commanding
Who now is simply happy
And who stopped pretending.

I wanna be self-understanding
I want to finally see
That it's the only way,
To let go of unhealthy ideas
That sit deep in my brain.

You're not enough, they say
But often they just laugh
And you feel shame
STOP that. It's over now.
You only will decide.
Can you embrace yourself?

Whatever others said to you,
They, too, follow a programm,
It's leading their brains
To put themselves and everybody else
In chains - of shame, hate and what not.

They judge and how about you?
Well you can decide if they're able to crush you.
If you're listening to the judgements of others
It means that a part of you believes in what they say.
This part is insecure, It's coming from tough times,
From sad times of disappointment and grief.

Take care of these vulnerable parts of yourself,
Just know - Nobody else can really understand -
What you have been through.

But here you stand and I see you.
It's never too late to turn to yourself,
And to apologize for not listening and not being there.

It's never too late to stop hating yourself and start to embrace your own life path.
Nobody else gets to experience the same! It's your and only way and you are still alive!!!

You still can question, see, take your own hand and breath, tell yourself that you understand your grief!

No matter how wounded others made you be, there also will be those who
will be worth - to trust and open up to.
You will see!

Only those who can accept themselves how they are, will also be able to accept, see and love you for who you are.

But your way to happiness always goes through your own heart and it's there and it is beating!
Even if you are wondering why still you are breathing.
Well it's cause you still have a chance to find yourself!
And to experience the beauty of life,
It means that you are able to cope with fears, with anger, with strife, with all the unspeakable pain, with every imaginable unfairness of this world!

The way to inner peace goes through your heart, where you will find, again and again that you are amazing just how you are.

Whilst I am looking at those beautiful
actresses,
time is flying by.
Whilst I am worrying about those
wrinkles,
time s flying by.
Whilst I am dreaming but am constantly afraid to try,
time... is... flying…. by.

Whilst I am sitting here, believing in tomorrow,
I close my eyes successfully to the internal sorrow,
I’m frozen and slowly it dawns on me
that time is flying by, it’s taking its toll on me.

My fingers are cold typing these words,
I’ve always wanted to learn some new chords,
And when will I join that sports club finally?
When will I see that
time will not fly by infinitely?

I can't calm myself
No can't
There is something in me
I don't understand
I just want to get home
To forget?
Too much
It blocks out everything
I am tired, worn out
Miss my health
Have to find a way out
Times and times again
Don't forget to smile
Don't worry and don't cry
Times and times again
You deserve to be happy my friend

T-rust lost.
I-ronically hopeful.
R-espectfully alone.
E-ndlessly worried.
D-irty promises.