There's woods outside of town aways
that I will not go near
There's tales of ghosts and monsters
And I don't like the things I hear

There's screeching noises unlike those
Any animal can make
Even in the daylight
Those woods just make me shake

I've heard tales of people who
Let their dogs out after dark
They come back, all scared and skittered
And they never ever bark

There's something in those woods I say
Strong magic is around
There's tales of children disappearing
Never to be found

Three years ago I walked on past
And I heard a noise....real close
I swore something was watching me
It may have been a ghost

On Halloween, the woods light up
With magic from within
No one dares to venture there
They'll not be seen again

Some nights when the moon is full
The noises fill the air
Of screeching, howling wild beasts
Of things covered in hair

I've only seen one bird around
The entrance to the wood
It's a single, lonely raven
And to me that isn't good

Raccoons, and skunks and squirrels
I never see them near this place
It's inhabited by demons
It's never known god's grace

The stories aren't the sort that
Make you want to see
What is in the woods that howls
I won't go in ...not me

The woods have always been there
And the stories have been too
I know the sounds scare me to death
And I'm sure, they'd scare you too

Don't venture near the woods at night
Don't go there in the day
Just leave them to their darkness
It's just best to stay away

I remember it like yesterday
We came together one last time
To not be there for Grandad Bill
Would surely be a crime

For three months now, he'd not been well
And the end was getting near
We would all be home for Christmas
Grandpa Bill's last one I fear

The tree was in the corner
Like it had been for so long
To see the corner empty
Well, boy, that would be wrong

Aunts and Uncles gathered
Cousins, twelve more than before
The whole house went so silent
When Grandpa Bill came through the door

He looked so frail, not who I knew
With two canes to help him walk
This was not the Grandpa of my past
I was afraid to hear him talk

His chair was by the fire
And he spun, and then sat down
In a voice, barely a whisper
He asked for his old dressing gown

"The cold is goes on through me"
"I don't want to catch a chill"
"This won't be my last Christmas"
"Or my names not Grandpa Bill"

He poked softly at the fire
Got a flame, an orange sail
Then his eyes, his eyes....they twinkled
And he told a Christmas tale

He spoke of being younger
Much younger than we were
And of how Christmas was so different
And of trees of spruce and fir

He spoke of sleigh rides in the mountains
Of making snow men in the yard
Of staying up to watch for Santa
You never did...it was too hard

His voice, it gained a power
It grew stronger as he spoke
I saw life come into Grandpa
As I ignored my *** and coke

Grandpa Bill was happy
This was his family after all
And at least for this short moment
We listened to his tales...so tall

We knew that what he said
Was filtered, and cleaned up
The truth, well....it came later
Once Grandpa Bill had drank a cup

After tales were told and argued
As to who said what to whom
We quickly brought out Christmas Dinner
And we filled the dining room

Grandpa Bill just sat there
A big smile on his face
He looked at all around him
Grandpa Bill was in his place

The jokes and stories lessened
As Christmas Dinner came and went
Then Grandpa Bill walked to the bedroom
An old man, now gray and bent

He said he'd have a lie down
But, not to worry about the noise
"My hearing's not the best no more"
"So, let the kids play with their toys"

Grandpa Bill's last Christmas
Ended with him in the bed
He passed while he was sleeping
After all of us were fed

I won't forget that Christmas
So many years have passed
For I still tell Grandpa's stories
And leave the blue ones...till the last

Grandpa Bill is not forgotten
His chair sits empty, as it should
And the tree....it's in the corner
Where Grandpa Bill said.."It looked good"

I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song
Three minutes thirteen seconds
So, it wasn't quite that long
Filled with love and disappointments
All the things a good song needs
I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song

They said "write something simple"
I said "I'll see what I can do"
They told me "you can do it"
"you're the best at what you do"

I needed something with emotion
Something new and something hot
I wrote for fourteen hours
And this is what I got

I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song
Three minutes thirteen seconds
So, it wasn't quite that long
Filled with love and disappointments
All the things a good song needs
I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song

It was a little love song
You know...people could relate
I played it to the band
They said "Man, this song is great"

It's a little bit of Shakespeare
With some Poe there on the side
The song was full of highs and lows
It would take you for a ride

I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song
Three minutes thirteen seconds
So, it wasn't quite that long
Filled with love and disappointments
All the things a good song needs
I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song

In the end when it was finished
It charted, not for long
Then I realized the story here
Was the story 'bout the song

So, I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song
Three minutes thirteen seconds
So, it wasn't quite that long
Filled with love and disappointments
All the things a good song needs
I wrote a song about a story about a story about a song

Sitting in a run down bar
Toasting Christmas' once again
Making New Years Resolutions
That in eight days I'll amend
Watching Christmas Specials
On what happened this past year
All the while waiting
For another glass of beer

Commercials for electronic this
and battery powered that
Pill that **** your acne
Machines that **** your fat
Little plastic whatzit whos
That vibrate and make noise
Not one **** ad of one **** thing
For Christmas...girls and boys

Where did Christmas go to?
When did Christmas die?
When did Amazon take over?
Telling us just the things to buy
Where is Christmas spirit?
In a movie or a play?
At an office Christmas party?
It's all saved for Boxing Day

The beer arrives, we look about
The bar is filling fast
Most talking of the better days
The days of Christmas past
People on the tv set
On that **** show TMZ
Reality folks, who don't know real
At least not like you and me

I harken back to days of yore
When Christmas was so real
When there'd be fifteen aunts and uncles
At our house for a meal
When charity was normal
Cynics..few and far between
When Christmas trees dropped needles
And all had a slight lean

Where did Christmas go to?
When did Christmas die?
When did Amazon take over?
Telling us just the things to buy
Where is Christmas spirit?
In a movie or a play?
At an office Christmas party?
It's all saved for Boxing Day

It's getting on for closing time
It's time to get on home
Where, I am not sure of
It's nice...I'll think I'll roam
A bench, perhaps, inside the park
I think I'll be all right
I'll pick one near a walkway
By a nice and shiny light

Oh, most of us are homeless
We hit the missions for our meals
We drink some down at this old bar
We just like the way it feels
We spend Christmas Day together
Our extended family grows each year
But, before I go and find a bench
I think I'll throw back one last beer

Merry Christmas

THE STORY OF OUR SAVIOUR'S BIRTH
IS ONE WE'VE ALL BEEN TOLD
HOW THREE WISE MEN CAME FROM THE EAST
THEY WERE BEARING GIFTS AND GOLD
THEY TRAVELLED FAR ACROSS THE SAND
FOR MANY DAYS ON END
AND WHEN THEY WERE ABOUT TO QUIT
THEY SAW IT ROUND THE BEND
T'WAS NOT THE MANGER THAT THEY SOUGHT
FOR IT WAS OUT OF SIGHT
BUT WHAT THEY FOUND WAS JUST THE PLACE
WHERE THEY COULD SPEND THE NIGHT
THE SIMPLE PLACE THAT THEY HAD FOUND
WAS MADE OF MUD AND STICKS
IT STILL SURVIVES ON TO THIS DAY
IT'S NOW CALLED MOTEL 6
THEY SPENT THE NIGHT
AND THEN MOVED ON
TO FIND THE KING OF KINGS
THEY NOW HAD MORE TO GIVE HIM
WITH ALL THEIR PRECIOUS THINGS
THEY WERE RACKED WITH PAIN
AND HAD A CHURNING IN THEIR BOWELS
IT WAS CAUSED BY GUILT YOU KNOW
BECAUSE THEY'D STOLEN THEIR ROOMS TOWELS
IT TOOK TWO WEEKS BUT THEN THEY FOUND
THE MANGER THAT THEY SOUGHT
THEY CAME ON THROUGH THE LITTLE GROUP
TO SHOW THE GIFTS THEY'D BROUGHT
THE FIRST WISE MAN, HE GAVE HIS GIFT
A SMALL CASE MADE OF GOLD
"IT WAS LOVELY TO LOOK AT AND REAL NICE TO TOUCH"
"BUT I BROKE AND T'WAS SOLD"!
HE LAID IT DOWN BEFORE THE CHILD
AND HE MADE A LITTLE SPEECH
HE SAID "MY LORD, YOU'LL SOON GROW UP"
"AND THE WHOLE WORLD YOU WILL TEACH"
FRANKINCENSE WAS THE NEXT GIFT
THAT THE MAGII DID LAY DOWN
"WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT IT'S USED FOR"
SAID THIS WISE MAN WITH A FROWN
THE FINAL GIFT THAT THESE THREE GAVE
WAS MYRRH AND THIS I FEAR
IS SOMETHING WE THINK PEOPLE
ALL DAB BEHIND THEIR EARS
A BETHLEHEM STAR REPORTER
WAS WRITING IN HIS PAD
"THE CHILD LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS MUM"
"HE DON'T LOOK MUCH LIKE HIS DAD!"
THE BABY JESUS ROSE TO SPEAK
AS THE MAGGI LEFT FOR ROME
"MERRY CHRISTMAS GENTLEMEN"
"HAVE A VERY SAFE TRIP HOME"!

On Christmas Day we wake up
We've no stocking on our bed
We've got a plastic kit box
taking up space there instead
You see, we aren't at home with you
Even though you wish we are
We're celebrating Christmas
Over here in Khandahar

A big Merry Christmas to friends and family
of Cpl. Mike Cannandale of St. Louis, Missouri, USA

We have our turkey dinner too
Stuffing, taters, pumpkin pie
We all sit here telling stories
And it's hard just not to cry
so, we do, because we're not back home
Having Christmas like you all
But, we're over here in Khandahar
Because we all answered the call

Merry Christmas to all friends and family of Liuetenant James Mc Caskill
of Great Grimsby, Lincolnshire, England

We have a snowman by our tent
He's made of plywood, painted white
Thank god, we made no snowballs up
We'd get splinters  in a fight
We go to church and pray for peace
And wish we could go home
But, over here at Christmas time
There's just no where to roam

Merry Christmas to friends and family of
Captiain John Watson, PPCLI, in Greenwood, Nova Scotia, Canada

We made our videos last week
To send you our best wishes
We'd all love to be back with you
Washing up those Christmas dishes
For now, we are one family
Joined in heart, and soul and mind
Having a Christmas meal in Khandahar
The best meal of it's kind

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to friends
and family, of Marine Master Sgt. Tim Wilcox, Plano, Texas, USA

Next year we will be home with you
Having Christmas as we should
Praying for peace, hope and prosperity
And all things that are good
for now though, we are over here
missing you this Christmas Day
We just hope you're thinking of us
As we keep the foe at bay

Merry Christmas to all the friends, family, co-workers and supporters
of all the soldiers in War Zones everywhere, who can't be at home this Christmas
May they all get home safe.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I was south of El Paso
hadn't got very far
I was hot on the trail of
A wandering star
It was high in the heavens
like a giant balloon
It was caught in the shadows
of the Blood Red Full Moon

I set out on the trail of
That wandering star
I followed it closely
Heard a tale in a bar
When the moon was in season
and the Blood Moon hung low
That wandering star
Would show where to go

It was up in the rock face
That I found a trail mark
The moon shone upon it
Even though it was dark
It showed the direction
To get away from the wind
Something evil was brewing
It was set to begin

I didn't hear cricket
nay, there wasn't a sound
All of nature was hiding
There was nothing around
The moon it hung lower
Red as jam in a jar
And there in the shadows
Was the wandering star

I found shelter and bunked down
There was nowhere to go
The temperature dropped fast
You knew soon there'd be snow
The trail would be hidden
In the light of the day
I'd wait for the star to
come out and show me the way

Two days we kept moving
Our goal was nearly in sight
The snow kept on coming
We moved only at night
I was just three more miles
It wasn't really that far
We'd been shown by the moon
and by the wandering star

I awoke in the morning
The sun was red as the moon
the wind was still howling
It played a wicked old tune
I could see in the distance
Of what the old drunkard said
I'd found an old grave yard
That housed the Parmalee dead

You see, I was family
They'd come out from the east
They'd died in the winter
they said the storm was a beast
They were buried and left here
Under a ****** red moon
The wind was still blowing
It's bitter cold tune

I painted the fences
I cleared the snow from the graves
Even though they were gone
Their memory was saved
I'd stay here till the spring time
Put fresh paint on each cross
Naming each single one
That our family lost

I came here each season
Left El Paso to ride
It was just a deep feeling
A feeling of pride
They could not be forgotten
Thanks to the tale in the bar
I found all my kin
with the wandering star.

she can look you in the eye
and stab you in the back
carry out a conversation
and still she keeps on track
she's just an evil being
and she knows how to attack
always watch her closely
or she'll stab you in the back

you know that when this woman dies
the devil will be cryin'
for it won't be long till she's in charge
and it will not take much tryin'

to make sure that she gets there though
they'll bury her face down
she's got the devil running scared
there's a new sheriff in town
she knows just one direction
that's why she'll be face down
she's got the devil running scared
there's a new sheriff in town

she'll cut you once and you'll bleed twice
you'll be under the bus
this woman is plain evil
she isn't one of us
she'll slice you , you'll say thank you
because she does it with no fuss
she'll cut you once and you'll bleed twice
because she isn't one of us

she's got the devil running scared
the grass dies where she walks
the devil will be unemployed
you know she's lying when she talks
she's the most evil vile being
they''ll put her face down in her box
she's got the devil running scared
this one's as crafty as a fox

The doorbell rang
I answered it
And standing at the door
Were two men
In their uniform
I knew what they came for

I knew right then
I'd lost you
I was alone
And you were gone
The plans we made together
Were now dust
The plans were done


Friendly Fire, what the hell
I don't know just where to start
Friendly Fire, What Is That
It's left a hole inside my heart
Friendly Fire, that's ok
I can't get it through my head
Friendly Fire, not so bad
I don't get it...dead is dead


You were killed while doing nothing
On patrol, on a safe road
When a soldier hit the button
Dropping his bomb payload

Sixteen men and women
Killed on their side of the wire
But, it's ok, smile now...
They were killed by Friendly Fire



Friendly Fire, what the hell
I don't know just where to start
Friendly Fire, What Is That
It's left a hole inside my heart
Friendly Fire, that's ok
I can't get it through my head
Friendly Fire, not so bad
I don't get it...dead is dead

Do you still die as a hero?
When you don't die in a fight?
Do you still go on to heaven?
Do you still see the same light?

You survived your basic training
You survived the muck and mire
To go and be a victim of
Something called Friendly Fire

Friendly Fire, what the hell
I don't know just where to start
Friendly Fire, What Is That
It's left a hole inside my heart
Friendly Fire, that's ok
I can't get it through my head
Friendly Fire, not so bad
I don't get it...dead is dead

there are people i've forgotten
some for better, some for worse
in places i have been along the way

some were good and some were rotten
some sow's ears and some silk purse
there are many that i think of every day

Take the time, give everyone a chance
Take a stranger, and treat them like a friend
Life is nothing more than a big dance
And you just don't know when the music's gonna end

i've had meals with lowly beggars
I've sat down with queens and kings
Life's  funny ...if i really had to say

that the people i remember
of all my time here on this earth
are the sow's ears,
and the beggars come what may

Take the time, give everyone a chance
Take a stranger, and treat them like a friend
Life is nothing more than a big dance
And you just don't know when the music's gonna end

some have angels on their shoulders
some have devil's in their heart
but, you will not know, until you let them in

but of the people i've forgotten
and those kept close in my heart
the best ones never care what might have been

Take the time, give everyone a chance
Take a stranger, and treat them like a friend
Life is nothing more than a big dance
And you just don't know when the music's gonna end

Some guy eats a ****** bat
do dah do dah
All I say is "fancy that"
all the do dah day
keep your distance, give me space
do dah do dah
remember do not touch your face
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

keep your groupings under ten,
do dah do day
that goes for women and for men
all the do dah day
stay inside and don't go out
do dah do dah
the virus is all round about
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

toilet paper's hard to find
do dah do dah
some folks have just lost their mind
all the do dah day
buying everything in sight
do dah do dah
i've got to say that isn't right
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
twash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

if we all play by the rules
do dah do dah
and quit acting like ****** fools
all the do dah day
this will pass i promise you
do dah do dah
do what the doctors tell you to
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

There are five stages to grieving
I've been through them all
At least twice, some three times
I'm 45 and single
Very single
Husband...cancer
Daughter...war
No dog, no cat
single
You know, I'm the only person I know
who lost a daughter in the war
Was I mad, really spitting mad
I can still see that poor fellow
The one who delivered the news to me
Not his fault, but....I think I tore enough
skin off of him to last a thousand lifetimes
There was denial, she's not gone I thought
She'll come through the door one day
She'll phone, but it hasn't rung yet
And if it does....Houdini can't be far behind
I miss her, truly miss her
I've come to terms with it
It wasn't easy, but I understand now
I've moved on, and she has too
This year, I had to relive it all over again
I do, anyway....every time  I hear we lost someone else
someone else's child, their son, daughter, husband, wife
father, mother, someone who was loved
This year, the fifth anniversary year of all years
I've been asked to go to the ceremony down town
They want me to be the Silver Cross Mother
Not nationally mind you,
But here, in my town
The town my daughter grew up in
They want me to show my grief
In front of all of them
Again
Now, I'm mad again
Not at them for asking
But, at war,
It stole my daughter
It took away my chance at watching her grow
Grandkids, school plays
selfish reasons, I know,
But, I hate it
I'll do it, **** right I will
She deserves it
They all do, each and every one
And when I do,
Not only will I be there for her
I'll be there laying that silly fluffed up
plastic coated ivy and poppy wreath
for all 158 mothers who have lost children
In this war at least
And for the ones to come
Which I hope is few
And most important
I will show them another
New stage of grieving
PRIDE
Pride in myself
Pride in my daughter
and Pride in my Country
The sixth stage of grief
From the heart
I'm Arlene Watson
And I lost a daughter
And I'm mad
And I'm proud
and on November 11th
you'll see both
I miss you dear....

Deep in the past
In legends and lore
Dragons were plenty
Yet, we see them no more

Dragons were awful
That's what we were told
They killed and left waste
And they all loved their gold

Well,

Up in the northland
Where magic still lies
Are four magic mountains
Where dragons still fly

The dragons lay waste
To the towns long ago
Stole all of their treasures
As far as we know

The story is written
About a  wizard from Wales
Who could make weather
And control mighty gales

He talked to the living
And he talked to the dead
He made water  spin
And could make gold from lead

The King sent out word
Bring the wizard to me
The dragons must go
It's them, or it's me

Many months passed
The kingdom covered in snow
The soldiers returned
With the wizard in tow

The King told his tale
To the wizard wide eyed
He looked at the King
Then the wizard replied

"I'll not **** your dragons"
"For they are too strong"
"But, I'll keep them away"
"Hidden where they belong"

"I'll help save your kingdom"
"But, there will be a fee"
"No venture this large"
"Can be done for free"

The King sat in silence
Then asked for the plan
"Not **** the dragons?"
"Hide them...where man?"

"Right where they are living"
"I won't change a thing"
"I'll protect all the people"
"And you'll remain King"

"All that I ask is"
"That you spread the word"
"Of the Wee Wise Welsh Wizard"
"I'll know just who heard"

"If more kingdoms call "
"To **** their dragons too"
"I'll know how they found out"
"And I'll know it was you"

"If all remains silent"
"Now, listen my rriend"
"The spell that I've cast"
"Slowly will end"

"The dragons will learn"
"They'll fly here in the night"
"They'll burn down your kingdom"
"And you'll be dead by daylight"

The King thought about this
Then he asked "why not three?"
"Keep three dragons living"
"And **** one for me"

"No" said the wizard
"It's none or it's all"
"If one dragon is living"
"Then, your kingdom will fall"

The king thought again
and he asked "why not ****  two"
"The only ones that will know"
"Are just me and you"

"Negotiate further"
"And I'll walk away"
"The dragons... all living"
"Or your troubles will stay"

"I'll cast a great spell"
"Around the mountains of four"
"Your kingdom not damaged"
"And no dragons...no more"

"I'll hide them behind"
"A magical veil"
"Stronger than dragons"
"And lighter than mail"

The King said "One question"
"The treasure they guard"
"Can we at least go and get it"
"Will that be so hard?"

"The treasure stays theirs"
"That was not what you said"
"You said get rid of the dragons"
"They'll be gone but, not dead"

"Their treasure is theirs"
"You can have one but not all"
"Either be done with the dragons"
"Answer me when I call"

"I'm leaving to scavenge"
"All the things for the spell"
"Give me your answer"
"When you hear the town bell"

"It will ring thirteen times"
"So you know I am near"
"Tell me your choice"
"When I reappear"

In a great cloud of smoke
The wizard, he went
The King sat and pondered
What the wizards words meant

"I can't **** all the dragons"
"There's too many for that"
"I must make a choice'
said the King where he sat

Two days flew on by
And the bell it did chime
The bell, it reached twelve
Then it rang one more time

In a great cloud of smoke
The wizard did show
"Tell me your answer"
"Do I stay or I go?"

"I've thought long and hard"
"You can put up your veil"
"You'll not **** one dragon"
"You'll not harm one tail"

"I'll pass on the word"
"Lose the treasure they keep"
"But, in the end sir"
"Much more soundly, I'll sleep"

The wizard went onward
To the mountains and then
He started casting his spell
It took him hours, near ten

The drape he created
Came on up from the ground
Slowly hiding the mountains
It did not make a sound

The dragons were sleeping
With their treasure below
The spell had been cast
And they did not know

The King was then summoned
By the wizard to see
The veil he had cast
And of what the kingdom would be

"Your higness, inside here"
"The dragons can fly"
"They can do what they want"
"But, they never can die"

"I've finished the magic"
"Remember our deal"
"For, if you back out"
"You'll be their next meal"

The King turned away
Let the wizard depart
He gave up a fortune
Showed he did have a heart

All went as planned
The wizard got hired
The wizard got rich
And the King, he retired

With no dragons to fight
He lost interest and soon
The King up and died
One day....around noon

His son, the new King
Took it upon himself
To make up for their losses
And to regain some wealth

He checked the agreement
That his father had made
He read the fine print
And found that all had been paid

The dragons were living
The Kingdom was free
He thought of his plan
And he thought "We shall see"

The next morning he went
And put up a sign
"come see the dragons"
"Tours start at nine"

"I can't have their treasure"
"That much is lost"
"But, I can show them to others"
"And there shall be a cost"

"Tours to the Dragons"
"Where all can now see"
"I'll make a small fortune"
"On what is there for tree"

The Valley of Dragons
Still exists to this day
But, if you want to see them
Be aware, you must pay

Life is made of moments
Some might be just a blip
But the whole sum of these moments
Make living life a trip
The big things rule
So some would say
But, not me, oh not me
It's the blips and all the little things
The things I want to see
I need all of the little things
To make my day seem right
I need to hear a snoring sound
When I turn out the light
Having kids is bigger stuff
Than I can list on here
It's little things that I will miss
When my loved one is not near
Like now, I miss the little things
That were part of my routine
With Titan gone and just us two
There's always more poutine
We order less when we go out
there's no one waiting at the stairs
It's nothing but, a little thing
That we miss now he's not there
A simple touch, a friendly word
An irritant at times
But, in life I miss the little things
They make life's mountain worth the climb
Missing friends, their silly jokes
You've heard a hundred times or more
These are just the little things
That I am waiting for
I miss them all, these little things
No matter , just how small
They make my life a treasure
And you know I miss them all
A word, a song, a photograph
A memory it brings
I think of all the larger stuff
But, I miss the little things....

Way above our little town
Sitting high upon the hill
The place we all  called Christmas House
And I think it sits there still

We used to go there sledding
No one once chased us away
That place we all called Christmas House
I wonder if they still sled there today

To us it seemed enormous
All lit up with lights so bright
That place we all called Christmas house
I wonder if it's still lit up tonight

There was a tree in the front window
You could see it from the road
The place we all called Christmas House
It was a palace when it snowed

There were wreaths in all the windows
The arbor covered with red bows
The place we all called Christmas House
I wonder if anybody knows

It's been years since I have seen it
It gave all our hearts a lift
The place we all called Christmas House
To visit there, it was a gift

We went there every winter
We would sled, have snowball fights
The place we all called Christmas House
Was always lit so bright

One thing I remember though
In all my time upon the hill
The place we all called Christmas House
Was always quiet, empty, still

I know it's been near forty years
Since I left home, moved away
The place we all called Christmas House
Still sticks with me today

It's a memory of a better time
When  the winters were much colder
The place we all called Christmas House
Makes me forget that I got older

I've dug out my old sled this year
To take  home, back to the start
To the place we all called Christmas House
Is on a hill, and in my heart

There's no straight lines from A to B

No compass does it show

It shows my life as it has been

It doesn't show me where to go

As time goes by the pages fade

Just memories of past times

At times the present's blurry too

There's just so many criss crossed lines

No pages show my future

Just blank, unfilled, unset

You can not have a road map

To things that have not happened yet

Some roads it shows are darker

Roads you'll want to use once more

And on other pages, blankness

You don't know what they were for

The map is everchanging

It's not always the same

You can blame the old mapmaker

It's your mind that is to blame

You trigger things with songs and sounds

And others you might lose

It's a map that should show where you've been

But it's no good without clues

A compass in the corner

Doesn't point which way to go

It's your life, there is no answers

You get to choose which row you ***.

It's not an easy map to follow

Hills and valleys all around

But, somewhere there's a spot that

Is where your best can be found

A page that now sits empty

Tomorrow, will be mapped and show the way

But, it won't show you where you're off to

It'll show where you were today

So, enjoy the roads you've travelled

And the experience so far

For this is not a map you'll ever

Find inside of any car

As I said, it changes daily

There's only so much room for stuff to stay

So, remember just what's important

And make the bad stuff go away

It's not a map that can be folded

It doesn't show you where to start

But when you go and look back at it

You'll see your life was full of heart.
.

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

Are the lights still out in Georgia?
Is the man in black in jail?
How are things in old El Paso?
Sing a song and tell a tale

Did the devil win his fiddle?
How's the Harper Valley PTA?
Did they ever stop that convoy?
Is he loving her today?

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

Is there a red headed stranger?
What went off that bridge in June?
Did the gambler ever fold them?
What was howling at the moon?

Is Donna Fargo still that happy?
Do you smell whiskey in the air?
Is the circle still unbroken?
Is there an angel hiding there?

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

I'm going to No Place Special

You can find it if you look

Come and join me at No Place Special

You won't find it in a book

It's a little south of Somewhere

Near The Place I want to be

I'm going to No Place Special

Won't you come along with me?

My day just started awful

It got worse the more I tried

Had to leave all of my troubles

Got to go out for a ride

You can guess where I am heading

Soon as that clock reaches five

Gonna pack up all my troubles

Then I'm gonna go and drive

I'm going to No Place Special

You can find it if you look

Come and join me at No Place Special

You won't find it in a book

It's a little south of Somewhere

Near The Place I want to be

I'm going to No Place Special

Won't you come along with me?

Phone keeps ringing, all the morning

People yelling drives me mad

Got to leave all this frustration

Off to where things aren't so bad

The Boss says "Son, sales are dropping"

That's all that I need to hear

Once the day is done, I'm leaving

Off to where there's always beer

I'm going to No Place Special

You can find it if you look

Come and join me at No Place Special

You won't find it in a book

It's a little south of Somewhere

Near The Place I want to be

I'm going to No Place Special

Won't you come along with me?

Made it home but I'm still angry

Have to calm down and relax

There's only one way that I know of

That's just going out and making tracks

To No Place Special for a while

It's not far, you've got to come

Around the world, or just a mile

You 've got to come and get you some

I'm going to No Place Special

You can find it if you look

Come and join me at No Place Special

You won't find it in a book

It's a little south of Somewhere

Near The Place I want to be

I'm going to No Place Special

Won't you come along with me?

It might be just around the corner

somewhere you can get away

It's somewhere where the folks all know you

It's somewhere you can go and stay

It's not a place with expectations

Leave your baggage at the door

Once you've been I know you'll always

Be coming back again for more

I'm going to No Place Special

You can find it if you look

Come and join me at No Place Special

You won't find it in a book

It's a little south of Somewhere

Near The Place I want to be

I'm going to No Place Special

Won't you come along with me?

Everybody knows
Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic
as the Three "R's" you need
Without them
you'll go nowhere
and never will succeed

Writing...that's a W
and Arithmetic an A
so, who ever came up
With "Three "R's"
was having a bad day

Now, go and ask a cowboy
what the three "R's"
are to him
You'll get a different answer
I'll bet you
one to ten

Ropin', Ridin' and Rodeo
The cowboy's three R list
Reading, Writing, Arithmetic
the big three that I missed

But if they do not have the first three
They are not a cowboy
not a chance
they're just another townie
just another fancy pants

So, to be a proper cowboy
there's six "R's"
they must know
the first three
along with
ridin', ropin, and
rodeo

On the first day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
a card from her new attorney

On the second day of x-mas
My ex wife gave to me
Two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney

On the third day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Three poloraids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney

On the fourth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
Four hotel bills
Three polaroids
two weeks to leave
and a card from her new attorney

On the fifth day of x-mas
my ex wife gave to me
five ....oh hell
I was gone...by this time
who am I fooling

and a card from her new attorney

He never won a race he started

He was always way behind

It made his teachers wonder

What went on in his mind

He always made it late for school

No matter how he tried

He was always coming to the door

While the others sat inside

Always late at dinner time

He was always being told

"You'll be late for your own funeral"

And he ate dinner....always cold

He'd miss the bus, be late for work

I guess it was his fate

No matter what he did....well,

He always turned up late

His bride walked out and left him

When she showed up to the church

He was still home sleeping

She thought he'd left her in the lurch

There are times when being tardy though

Made him thankful that his clock

Was running late and he showed up

As the ship sailed from the dock

He was behind about an hour

On that cold and fateful day

He was late for his own funeral

As The Titanic sailed away...

Cards and coins and doves and smoke
Just ways to memerize the folk
Who come to dine and hear me joke
About the things I do

Restaurants, gyms and shopping malls
Weekend shows in legions halls
I have some phones...if someone calls
About the things I do

Houdini, Blackstone, Randii
Switching cards at times for candy
All things I must keep handy
to do the shows I do

I'll never make a million
Never do the big reveal
I work just for tips and smiles
Trying to pay for my next meal

Sleight of hand's my favorite
Keep them watching, fool them all
"Now which one did it go under"
"Can you surely find the ball?"

Drinking, drugs, an my depression
A nationwide finance recession
I do not  make a good impression
I'm a magician ...level two

Small clubs, folks homes, and free dinners
Show the tricks that are my winners
Show them to the saints and sinners
I'm a magician ....level two

To most I will stay nameless
***** it up, and I am blameless
Some folks comments , they are shameless
Tomorrow...I'll be gone

I don't repeat my shows  too often
I hardly do a second show
It's not because I do not like it
It's just these are the only tricks I know

I make things appear out of nowhere
It tricks the old folks and the young
I will never be remembered
I"m just one whose song is sung

I'm more slight of hand than ever
I've more patter than I've tricks
Sleight of hand lost to arthitis
Like what I do and that trick sticks

Cape and wand with no assistant
I'll get it right, I am persistant
I'm nothing if I'm not consistent
"Which cup has the missing ball?"

I am a level two magician
In the yellow pages, find my name
There's hundred more out there just like me
And all our tricks, they are the same

Thank you for your contribution
I thinks it grants you absolution
If I am bad, no retribution
I'm slight of hand...not sleight no more.

Play the cards you are dealt
There's not much you can do
Enjoy the time that you are granted
Before you start your life anew

Don't waste time with consequences
Made from un important things
Live like there is no tomorrow
Play before the buzzer rings

I've been dancing with the angels
At least a time or two by rights
Both times they said "you're not done yet"
Go back and watch out for the light
I've been dancing with the angels
Your light brought me back to earth
Your love is my guiding beacon
It's what showed me what I'm worth

At least I know which way I'm heading
Going up instead of down
I'm living life because I've earned it
I'm living life out on the town

You never know just when your number
Will get called and off you go
So, spend your time with someone special
Before you shuffle to the show

I've been dancing with the angels
At least a time or two by rights
Both times they said "you're not done yet"
Go back and watch out for the light
I've been dancing with the angels
Your light brought me back to earth
Your love is my guiding beacon
It's what showed me what I'm worth

Never miss a single moment
Don't look back, for it has passed
Be the one that folks remember
Live each day like it's your last

If you meet up with some angels
Give them a big hug for me
I've been up on two occasions
I may end up staying on visit three

I've been dancing with the angels
At least a time or two by rights
Both times they said "you're not done yet"
Go back and watch out for the light
I've been dancing with the angels
Your light brought me back to earth
Your love is my guiding beacon
It's what showed me what I'm worth

The words, they tell the story
But the music makes the song
The story disappears
When the volume is all wrong


If you want folks dancing
Sing it nice and loud
Take the hint and listen
Sing it for the crowd

But, if you want to tell...a story
That's when you make a choice
To turn the volume down a bit
Let the people hear your voice

The volume kills the story
But it also sells the song
You'll never have a hit my friend
If you get the mix all wrong

Anthems, scream them loudly
Make the walls fall to the ground
Make it like an earthquake
Just do it with some sound

Get the heartbeats racing
Get the people on the floor
You just won't have it happen
If the volume is at 4

If you want to say I love you
And make folks feel it in their heart
Remember words will express feeling
And lower volume plays a part

So, when you play your music
May you play it loud and strong
Remember turn it down sometimes
Because, the volume sells the song

I first saw her at a party
Skin Tight jeans and Farrah's hair
She glanced and smiled in my direction
Trouble's brewing and it ain't fair

I knew right then I had to have her
Couldn't get her off my mind
I'd take her home and I would show her
A love of the most carnal kind

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Working late without no distraction
The new secretary walked on in
I knew right then that I had to have her
My mind was thinking of only sin

She had a ring upon her finger
I didn't care, I had to know
She was selling and I was buying
I had some wild seed to sow

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Running practice for all the kids
Getting sweaty with soccer moms
There was one standing there right beside me
I had to have her...and get me some

I made a move and she responded
Flipped me right onto my back
I thought here she comes, it's gonna happen
Then she kicked me in the sack

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers..
You know them
You've seen them
I hope you aren't one of them...

I don't drink
Not anymore
For my entertainment
I go to the store
I go out after dinner
That's when the show will start
I go and watch the people
Who shop at Wal-Mart

Cowboy boots, a tutu, and yoga pants with "***"
with a muscle shirt and top hat
worn by a man named REX
a pair of pants just hanging
a pair of crocs and leather vest
with "she loves me for my money"
emblazoned on the chest

These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
In their finest shopping clothes
These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
At Wal-Mart, so it goes

I don't go clubbing
There's no fun in that
Late night trips to Wal-Mart
That, is where it's at

A woman dressed in plastic
a man all painted blue
and how many people have you seen
that look like escapees from the zoo


These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
In their finest shopping clothes
These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
At Wal-Mart, so it goes



Underpants, and stockings
garters and blue jeans
size 50 denim jumpers
Stretched like skinny jeans

Men wearing high heels
Women wearing...well
Use your imaginations
From a distance you can't tell

These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
In their finest shopping clothes
These are the people
Yes, you know the people
We've all seen the people
At Wal-Mart, so it goes



Body parts free to see
******* and legs and butts
And people with their little dogs
The ugly, squeaky mutts

We know them
and we watch them
Take their photos
Yes....we do.
dress right when you go shopping
Or we may take one of you!!!

Another day, another beating
Into himself, he was retreating
His parents did not call a meeting
It couldn't happen to our son

Every day he came home bloodied
His clothes all torn his face all muddied
The family name was being sullied
It couldn't happen to our son

Remember Chicken Little
The Sky is Falling Down
This surely couldn't happen
Not here in our small town
Chicken Little told a tale
But, they only saw the sun
Chicken Little told his story
Now, Chicken Little's got a gun

Every afternoon they'd wait
Four of them out by the gate
They left early, best not be late
It couldn't happen to our son

Our son would not ever fight
To say he does, would not be right
But, sometimes he comes home a sight
It can't be what you're thinking

Remember Chicken Little
The Sky is Falling Down
This surely couldn't happen
Not here in our small town
Chicken Little told a tale
But, they only saw the sun
Chicken Little told his story
Now, Chicken Little's got a gun

Finally he'd had enough
Even though he was not tough
He was made of sterner stuff
And he showed it on the news

Chicken Little took a gun
He was showing everyone
Now, was time to have some fun
He took out twenty two


Remember Chicken Little
The Sky is Falling Down
This surely couldn't happen
Not here in our small town
Chicken Little told a tale
But, they only saw the sun
Chicken Little told his story
Now, Chicken Little's got a gun

Two pills to greet the morning
To wake up from the night before
Before the morning's over
There'll be at least four pills more
Her children never see this
Mother keeps her secret well
But, just in case she slips up
Father makes sure he, too. doesn't tell
Yes, Mummy is a pill freak
A suburban ****** in our midst
It's more common than you realize
I've names here to make a list
By ten she's popped two more pills
The kids are safely off at school
What the parents do not notice
Is that the children are not fooled
More pills again at lunch time
Then it's off for tennis at the club
Two more pills when she is finished
Just before her tan and rub
You see, Mummy is an addict
She eats pills like most eat cake
She's a really super actress
Miss one pill and she might break
Two years ago she had a problem
She was drinking, never touched a pill
Then she went to "camp" to dry out
that's where she found her brand new thrill
Daddy, he keeps her secret
lets her fool the PTA
You see, Daddy is her doctor
He makes sure that she's ok
The kids are home before mum
She's popped two to mellow out
She's the only mum their friends say
No ones ever heard her shout
Once the pills wear off, what is next
What addiction shall she feed?
She's tried ***** and now narcotics
What will help her fuel her need?
Daddy's mummy's little helper
Keeps her secret and his too
You see daddy has his own diversion
And she's only twenty two!!!

There's a rumour goin' round
That you might or might not've said
I know it's just a rumour
But, it's running circles in my  head

You know a town of our size
Rumours travel through like fire
You're ****** if your involved in one
You say you're not, and you're a liar

There's a rumour flying here about
Of what I may have said
In response to the first rumour
That's just running round my head

I'm not sure if I said it
You see I'm not too sure
But, the rumour is I said it
Is it the truth or something more?

I remember playing telephone
As a kid, way back in school
When someone told you something
And you told the next person as a rule

The game was all a jumble
As the first phrase got all changed
It was my first  time hearing rumours
And how words are re-arranged

There's a rumour flying round the town
Of what you may have done
I hope that I was with you
It sounded like such fun

But, knowing how our town of ours
Can make a rumour fly
I'll not know If it was with me
Until the day I die

There's a rumour flying round the town
I think you may have heard
But, you will not hear a peep from me
Not one **** single word

There's a rumour....

I was down at the  legion
Knocking back one or two
When in walked an old member
Who fought in World War Two

I got in line behind him
And when he ordered  his brew
I made a signal to the barkeep
I paid for his  too

He turned and said  thank you
I'm on a pension as a vet
1100 dollars monthly
Is all the cash I get

I said to him "no, thank you"
I'm happy to buy your beer
I owe a lot to you
I owe you all that I hold dear

He said to me "t'was nothing"
"you would do the same"
"And I'd do it again"
"If the call ever came"

He looked round the room
And he sipped at his beer
Then he leaned in real close
So just I could hear

"Son, I'll be honest"
"And I don't make no bones'
"The kids of today"
"They just ain't got the stones"

"The stones to step forward"
"To get up and fight"
"To defend flag and country"
"To do what is right"

I said, in most cases
He'd hit the nail on the head
It's a battle at worst
To get a kid out of bed

The times are a'changing
It was different back then
It took a lot less
To turn boys into men

"A soldier's a cowboy
He's one for the books
There's not many in here
I can tell with one look"

"I just did my duty
No less and no more
War isn't a game
Where someone keeps score"

He sat back and his eyes closed
Said "the next one's on me"
"I don't drink that  much
But, at most I have three"

I accepted his offer
And we talked a bit more
We talked baseball, and race cars
But not of the war

That was the past
And the past is long dead
Except for the pictures
He has in his head

I went up to the bar
And I set up an account
I would cover his tab
To a certain amount

What he did for our country
And what he did for me
Is worth a couple of beer
Or at least, each day....three

I've more New Year's behind me
now that I have gotten old
My next one's in the tropics
I just don't like the cold

I used to party hearty
I wouldn't get back home till five
Now, I pass out on the sofa
My wife checks if I'm alive

I remember  I went drinking
I got drunk riding the bus
When I told my friends the story
they said, dude, that wasn't us

I told them yes it was,
We all stayed out till late
They informed me of my error
I had passed out just past eight

New Years was  Lombardo
New Years...it was **** Clark
Two giants of the evening
Two men who left their mark

Now, incentive to stay up till twelve
To see who will Jenny McCarthy kiss
well, I liked her better as a playmate
now, I couldn't  give a ****

The morning will still get here
Whether I stay up, or not
New Year's eve is nothing special
I spend it with my wife (she's hot)

We cuddle on the sofa
Fall asleep as if on cue
With our tray half full of finger foods
We're asleep by ten, not two

I wish you Happy New Year's
My best wishes all are sent
If you stay awake past midnight
Call, and tell me how it went.

Back behind Gianni's
There was no one to be found
The alleyway was quiet
You could not hear a sound

The frost had not yet burned off
The alleyway was wet
The deliveries had not been made
No one was moving yet

In the sky  a rarity
Both sun and moon were out
But seen by just night creatures
Since no one was about

The back window to Gianni's
Opened to where Jim slept
There was garbage in the doorway
Since it had not yet been swept

The moon was getting lower
The sun just in the sky
The silence was then broken
By a blackbird flying by

The bird woke up the Bluesman
with his early morning call
And he watched the Bluesman set up
Perched up high upon a wall

The Bluesman had his guitar
Wiped some moisture off  his crate
Another blackbird landed
A rat peeked out from a drain grate

The Bluesman started playing
Singing low, just barely heard
More animals were showing up
And they took in every word

His medicine beside him
In a flask, engraved "For Dad"
His voice was smooth and smoky
You could hear him, just a tad

More birds came for the concert
More rats, some squirrels too
No humans yet were moving
In the early morning dew

He sang as he was known too
To no one special, just the sky
Songs of revelation
Songs of watching people die

The small flock that had gathered
Watched The Bluesman, moved a bit
As he took sips from his medicine
Not a single song...a hit

The world was just now waking
But The Bluesman didn't care
He was doing what he always did
Singing softly to the air

Normally, the street would fill
As word would spread around
That the Bluesman was out playing
But, today...no one was found

The window to Gianni's
Let Jim lie in bed and dream
That he heard the Bluesman singing
In his room, on a sun beam

The birds all flew away at once
The was movement in behind
Life was coming to the street
Where at night the vermin dined

The Bluesman packed his kit up
Snuck away from the day light
To sleep and rest his weary bones
To venture forth again that night

The rats went to the sewers
The birds had flown away
The squirrels, they were also gone
And the street began it's day

Jim looked out his window
The alley empty, no one thee
Where while Jim thought he was dreaming
The Bluesman sang songs to the air

An early morning concert
Full of music, 'neath the sun
A concert heard by many
A concert just for one

I WENT BACK TO THE CHRISTMAS PLAY
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN YEARS
AND JUST LIKE  ALL THE TIMES BEFORE
I BROUGHT ALONG SOME BEERS
IT WAS MY YOUNG SON'S DAUGHTER
WHO I HAD COME TO SEE
SHE WAS BETTER THAN MY SON HAD BEEN
SHE WAS WISE MAN NUMBER THREE

THE STORY, IT REMAINED THE SAME
OF JESUS AND HIS BIRTH
OF HOW THE ANGELS CAME AND TOLD
TO THE SHEPHERDS HERE ON EARTH
THE BOY WHO PLAYED THE ANGEL
WAS SUPPORTED BY A HOIST
HE WAS EXTREMELY NERVOUS
WHICH MADE HIS WINGS QUITE MOIST

HIS NAME WAS DAN AND HE WAS FROM
A TOWN OUTSIDE OF WHEELING
THE HOIST GAVE WAY AND ALL I SAW
WAS DAN SINGH ON THE CEILING
HE LANDED SAFE, THE PLAY WENT ON
AND NO ONE WAS THE WISER
UNTIL A WATER PIPE DID BREAK
AND STARTED SPEWING QUITE THE GEYSER

I SAT AND WATCHED WITH MY YOUNG SON
WE KEPT IT TO OURSELVES
BUT ONE WISE MAN WAS SIX FEET TALL
AND MADE THE OTHERS LOOK LIKE ELVES
I THOUGHT BACK TO THE  TIMES BEFORE
OF HOW THE PLAY ONCE WAS
IT NEVER REALLY WORKED OUT RIGHT
AND WE NEVER KNEW THE CAUSE

BUT HEADS FELL  OFF AND DONKEYS PEED
AND ANGELS LOST THEIR WINGS
BUT THESE WE ALL EXPECTED
THESE WERE SURELY SPECIAL THINGS
THAT MADE EACH PLAY DIFFERENT
EACH PLAY BECAME IT'S OWN
SPECIAL LITTLE MOMENT
AND EACH ONE STOOD  ALONE

NO ONE PLAY WAS PERFECT
BUT NEVER WOULD WE SAY
WE RATHER WOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME
THAN COME OUT THERE THIS DAY
REMEMBER NOW, SOME YEARS HAD PASSED
SINCE I FIRST SAW THIS SHOW
F/X HAD NOW BEEN ADDED
AND THE BABY'S CRIB, IT GLOWED

THEY TAPED A BABY CRYING
TO COME OUT FROM THE CRECHE
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME EVER
JESUS CRIED LIKE DJ FRESH
THE TAPE THEY USED WAS BORROWED
BUT THE KIDS THEY DID THEIR DUTY
BUT IN THE BACK, BEHIND THE CRYS
WE ALL HEARD "SHAKE YER *****"

I CLOSED MY EYES PERCHANCE TO THINK
OF TIMES SO LONG AGO
OF FIGHTING THROUGH THE TRAFFIC
AND DRIVING IN THE SNOW
I LOOKED ACROSS AND THEN I SAW
MY SON HAD DONE THE SAME
I WONDERED THEN IF HE THOUGHT BACK
AND IF THIS  WAS JUST A GAME

THE PLAY WENT ON WITH OUT MUCH FUSS
AND WE ALL STOOD UP AND CHEERED
FOR EACH AND EVERY CHILD THERE
AND THE FEW THAT HAD REAL BEARDS
I SOUND AS THOUGH IT IS A WASTE
OF TIME, BUT THEN AGAIN
NEXT YEAR I KNOW THAT I'LL RETURN
TO WATCH FROM EIGHT TILL TEN.

Christmas was coming and sooner than not
There was lists to be made and gifts to be bought
Nothing real special, since money was low
But something from Santa with a beard white as snow
Jewellery, not likely, a book, not this year
The gift for this Christmas would be real sincere
Not handmade, or tacky like a plastic gift card
Like the one I got last year, to put a pond in my yard
This gift must be special, one to tick all the squares
To show thought was given, to show that I care
Not clothing, not music, maybe something from France
Nope....I did that last Christmas with those real, bad, tight pants
A photo, would do it, that would be the right gift
The picture would surely give their heart quite a lift
Now, which photo would do it, which one should I use
With so many to look at it was real tough to choose
I went down to the basement and went deep in the box
You know the one that I speak of, the one with brass locks
After hours of searching through the musty old crate
I found just the picture and I thought it was great
It was a photo of...sorry, I can't tell you what
It's a Don't Open Till Christmas type photo...with thought.

You asked me for a late night drink
You worried just what I might think
I saw you hide the laundry by the sink
As I moved the cat to find the sofa

You said this wasn't really you
As you sat down kicking off your shoes
You said you asked me, what's there to lose
As you moved beside me on the sofa

A good girl, that was what you were
People say "oh no, not her"
I heard the cat again, really loudly purr
As we stretched out on the sofa

I knew that I should rise and leave
A tale like this, who would believe
They would think I was the one who did deceive
As we tumbled from the sofa

I remember how we spent that night
At first it was just stay or flight
I stayed and you know it turned out right
Sixteen years...upon that sofa

They met while still in high school

Most likely to succeed

They had big plans for college

They were on their way indeed

She dropped out while a junior

He continued to the end

She left to have their baby

Their plans, they must ammend

They married down at city hall

Their parents did not know

He wore an old, ill fitting suit

In her dress, she did not show

But here she was, six months along

Their perfect world was done

They were not sure how they would get by

With the addition of their son

He was trained to be an architect

But he started sweeping floor

Interviews were hard to get

Unless you knew the name upon the door

She got a job in retail

Working afternoons each day

It wasn't what they planned on

But they needed her small pay

They had a small apartment

More a garret than a pad

But, in the area they wanted

It was the cheapest that they had

Two years went by and another child

Had increased their home to four

He was working as an architect

And was no longer sweeping floors

Since college though, he'd had a curse

A devil you might think

For to keep himself under control

He was sneaking nightly drinks

As pressure grew and deadlines loomed

His drinking did increase

He was now a junior partner

At the firm of Flint and Meece

He was fighting with his wife alot

The kids were just more stress

But, he bottled up his problems

And he chose not to address

The fact that they were fighting

He was drinking every night

And when she called him on it

They would end up in a fight

He was going in hung over

Some days, he just stayed home

And when they called him from the office

He would not pick up the phone

One day though he went over

the line out there in space

When the wife and he were fighting

He hit her in the face

He didn't know just what to do

He went down for a drink

He needed time to decompress

He needed time to think

She called in sick for her next shift

She stayed home for two weeks

She stayed home till the bruise was gone

And the swelling from her cheeks

His drinking kept evolving

He was hiding it no more

Plans were being made at work

To take his name off of the door

He'd shown up drunk for meeting

His plans were never in on time

They offered him assistance

He refused..there lies the crime

The kids withdrew and feared him

They'd rather eat with friends instead

They'd only come home after dinner

When it was time to go to bed

Another fight ensued at home

When they fired him at last

He beat his wife up so bad this time

She ended up inside a cast

Her arm was badly broken

Charges she refused to lay

But the cops who came to see them

Chose to lay them anyway

This was her chance to make a move on

She packed the kids up late at night

While he was in his jail cell

She booked them all on a late flight

Her family would take them

She would move them to the west

She would start her life without him

It would be for the best

When he got out and found her gone

He sat down, had a few

He didn't have a family,

He had no idea what to do

Instead of phoning to her folks

To see if they'd arrived

He went on a ***** ******

Which most would not survive

He drank from when he broke the day

Most times, well after four

Then he'd drink until he would pass out

And would spend the night there on the floor

He reached the point of no return

When the sherrif came one day

He said "It's time for you to leave this house"

"Unless the taxes, you can pay"

He'd let things slide, and had no funds

His world was on the brink

But, instead of fixing things on up

He went looking for a drink

He spent some time in missions

Trying to find work he could do

But, when he would only get rejected

He turned to devil's brew

His reputation sullied

There was no work in his field

He tried to find work elsewhere

He would see what things would yield

He got jobs working labouring

Warehouses, car washes and such

But, when he kept on missing shifts

And was still drinking as a crutch

He got kicked out of the missions

He refused to toe the line

He would rather be out drinking

******* on some cheap *** wine

He was living by the train tracks

In the cedars, in the woods

He was sleeping in a sleeping bag

He was existing as he could

His drink of choice was anything

That would make his pain just go

He was drinking aqua velva

And in a pinch he drink sterno

The devil had his soul tight

He was on his way to hell

If his life was a big boxing match

This was his final bell

He had the world at his command

A family, and career

But, when alcohol took him over

He lost all that was dear

He'd climbed on up the  mountain

Worked his way up to the peak

But, his body was not strong enough

When the devil chose to speak

His wife and kids, they did ok

Their lives had turned the page

His kids soon did forget him

He was from a different age

They found him in the park one night

When the volunteers came round

They brought food to the homeless

He was dead there on the ground

His body had just given up

His liver had just quit

He died there in the bushes

This kind of end...a perfect fit

He had no wallet with him

All his secrets, they were hid

But they found inside his pocket

A picture of his kids

He died alone and helpless

At the bottom, not the top

He did not have the where withall

Or strength of self to stop

He may have died with nothing

Maybe, he died full of guilt

But, the world in which he left us

Was a world that he had built.
.

There's a monument outside of town
I go there when the sun goes down
And I listen....

The names upon that granite slab
Are worn and rusted, slightly drab
Still  I listen

There's a silence hanging in the air
Hiding the thoughts of those not there
And I listen

I sit upon the steps below
In rain, or sun, and even snow
And I listen

Thirty men remembered here
Though none of them are buried near
So I listen

I've met others beneath this pigeon roost
Whose spirits I have tried to boost
As I listen

I wait to hear them from the grave
The voices of the dead, the brave
And I listen

None has spoken out to me
I know they watch and they see
As I listen

I keep watch throughout the night
I head home when it is daylight
And I listen

During the day there's too much noise
To hear the voices of these boys
But, I listen

So each night as the sun goes down
I venture once more out of town
And I listen

I listen.....

It's the night before Christmas
And all over the hill
The NRA was defending
Their right to ****
It didn't much matter
That the innocent died
"Give us more guns"
The NRA cried
The field must be even
For all to survive
If a person owns four
Then let's give them five
Guns don't **** people
It's people who do
Mr. Wayne LaPierre
It's just people like you
Who represent crazies
One's who are off their top
People who choose
To die at the hands of a cop
The President wants
To bring guns under control
But, there's too many like you
Who live your life in a hole
Would it matter to you
If  your kid got shot
Or is the sale of more guns
What helps get you hot
I think that you should
Go and see David Keene
And make Christmas this year
The best one that's been
Listen to Obama
And get things in line
Reduce gun production
And help make things fine
Do what's right for the country
Gun lobby be ******
And help make the States
A much safer land
Think with your heart
Of the families who lost
Their hopes and their children
It's too high a cost
Think of the future
And give up the fight
So all gentle people
Can have a safe night !!

No paints and not one canvas
Nothing sellable at all
But, an artist is an artist
With art to share with all

No profit in creations
No way to sell his works
But he creates pieces of magic
With lots of different quirks

His tools are nothing special
Pastels and pieces of old chalk
His canvasses are static
They're the place that people walk

He's a sidewalk chalk pastel artist
With only digital designs
His work goes with the weather
Cracked pavement creates lines

No matter where he travels
He can work when the muse strikes
But, he has to watch out for street walkers
And folks riding through on bikes

His pictures are amazing
Where real life ends you can not tell
But, because there is no canvas
He has nothing to sell

He creates from chalk and pastels
He is an artist just the same
As those with paint and easels
He just plays a different game

Donations are his lifesblood
An empty cup beside him lies
Stand back and be awed by
His artwork before it dies.

Stores were being heldup
The crime wave was big news
The culprit showed up naked
Wearing a smile and some shoes
No one would be able
To identify the crook
No one saw her face to well
They really never looked
The cops kept working on it
They chased down every lead
But none of them were helpful
Giving evidence they'd need
All they knew,....a woman
would come in and she'd flash
Her ***** at the man working
And she'd make off with the cash
Fourteen stores and stations
Were hit by this bold *****
But without her even knowing
Her plan had a small wrench
I take you to the latest store
Where the police have come to see
Why the woman ran without the cash
Let's listen in...shall we?

"we heard sir, that you've cracked our case"
"you're the first person to see her face"
"Of courth I did you silly goose"
He held out his hand "just call me Bruce'
"She shouldn't be too hard to find"
"If there's one thing I know, it's a bare behind"
"You see, when she found I was gay"
"That's when she turned and ran away"
"She won't get too far on those heels"
"She left on foot, she had no wheels"
The questions then came fast and quick
All answered, smoothly...and real slick
"First, I noticed that her shoes"
"Were cheap, bad knock off Jimmy Choos"
"The lining of her coat was stained"
"And her hair colour, not much remained"
"She had a note pinned to her *******"
"I didn't care, you might have guessed"
"She held a bag, said fill it up"
"I'd say she was a full D cup"
"I told her I don't think so dear"
"I think that gave away I'm queer"
"I mean, no earrings or a matching purse"
"Some style please....but, I've seen worse"
"She should not be too far away"
"Her shoes aren't runners, they're made to play"
"Blond hair, bad roots, ends were frizzy too"
"Fingernails all badly done, a rotten shade of blue"
"I hope I have helped you boys"
"Are those cuffs real?...I like your toys"

The cops put out an APB
To catch this woman on the loose
You see they never want to
Go back and talk to Bruce
So, if you want to rob a store
Now, listen for this.....wait...
Make sure the man who's working there
Is sure as shooting...STRAIGHT~~~

Old Jim

"I'm grateful for the company

....sit down and I'll make tea"

"It's not often people visit

but, with the cat, us two make three"

He's hiding somewhere here

He's always there abouts

I just have to watch the doorway

I don't want him to get out

We listen to the radio

Can't afford to have TV

It's really not a loss though

Since I now can barely see

Time it takes it toll on you

A little more each day

I wish there was a little pill out there

That helped keep time at bay"

"There's the kettle, whistling"

I'll be back with our fresh brew

The cat won't drink it with me

So I'm only making two

I looked around the little room

All the drapes were closed up tight

It was sunny out and midday

But inside, it looked like night

There was one light in the corner

More for guests than Uncle Jim

HIs life was based on order

This room just wasn't him

"Here's the brew my boy" he said

"As he came back and sat with me

I watched him...two steps forward

One left,  then forward three"

He put the cups down gently

Didn't spill a single drop

He'd memorized his pathway

He knew exactly where to stop

"I've got biscuits, if you'd like"

"Some Hob Nobs from back home"

"I break them out for company

"They're too good for me alone"

I said that I would get them

and I exited my chair

He said they're up on top

But I'd never reach them there"

He came and got a grab stick

He poked and grabbed them from the shelf

He said "This things a lifesend"

"I'd never get them by myself"

We sat and talked for hours

Talked of sports and music too

He said that with his failing eyesight

There's really not much he could do

"It's saved me money someways"

"And cost  more in others though"

"But now that I'm not driving"

"I no longer shovel snow"

Jim, worked hard for forty years

He was a foreman in the mine

He'd been working round the coal for years

In fact since he was nine

He used to run small errands

From the office to the men

He lied about his age though

Jim told them he was ten

He'd retired back five years ago

When it got hard to breathe

"It was all I ever knew boy"

"I didn't want to leave"

Tons and Tons of coal dust

Must have filtered through his lungs

He was  dying slowly daily,

It started showing on his tongue

Small spots appeared which spread real quick

He started treatment right away

He knew the doctor would relieve him

Of his job, reduce his pay

"you know boy, there's a tale they tell"

"of birds down in the mine"

"when the birds fall off the perch stone dead

"Then we men have little time"

"We have to get out quickly

"For the bird has shown our fate

"But think a bit, the gas got him...

"So for us ...it was too late"

"We didn't really watch the bird

"We listened for his song

"For when his voice was laboured"

We knew it wasn't long"

"Dead birds...they meant dead miners"

At this my body jolted

"It;s like shutting up the old barn door"

"Even though the horse has bolted"

I finished up and said to Jim

I had to catch my bus

Jim said, "ok young man, be on your way"

" Now, it's just the two of us"

"You'll be back soon, I hope" he said

I said , "I sure will try"

"I like our little visits"

As he sat there and he sighed

"Just me and Tilly now" he said

As he saw me to the door

Stay safe my boy and oh....

He said "There's one thing more

"when you get on home...please phone me"

"It will make this old heart sing"

"Just phone me up and when you do...

"Let it go for just three rings"

I said I would, "but why three rings"

I asked, not four or five

"Three rings" he said's our signal

"In the mine....that you're alive"

I left and headed homeward

But first I'd stop of at the mall

Then I went home right directly

And I then gave Old  Jim his  call.

Do I love you?
I can't tell you
Am I happy
I don't know

Will I stay with you forever?
That's a long time
I don't know

I'm the king of keeping secrets
I'm the best since time began
I'm lost here, and I'm searching
I am me, but, a new man

Love me for the man I am
Don't love the man I was
I don't know what that man was like
I don't know the man you lost
Love me as I am now
I won't remember anyway
Don't love the man I was before
Love the man I am today

I smile and remember
Thoughts and visions
mostly blurred
Words and place
not remembered
Memories shaken
but not stirred


I'm still here in this body
Don't know exactly who I am
Was I good when I did know me
Or am I better as I am

Don't tell me to remember
My memories are dust
What once was steel and solid
Has quickly died and turned to rust

I can't love you as I once did
Tomorrow I won't know your name
You may love me now, forever
But, do you love me quite the same

I'm the king of keeping secrets
I'm the one that you can tell
Nothing in here is remembered
In this empty, aging shell

I saw a myth destroyed
Actually, I saw it demolished
Stomped on, crushed
and totally abolished

We've all heard that
you look slimmer in black
Nope...big, fat lie
One myth is taken back

I went to a funeral
And the myth died
and joined the corpse
where it lied

Short, dumpy women
looking like dried out  asphalt,
with matching wedge heels
crying and wandering about

hair colour from bottles
dressed as lumps of coal
the black dress, it hid nothing
like that 13th stomach roll

little round faced women
crying little round faced tears
in hockey puck like dresses
they all went and bought at Sears

there were blondes and
there were red heads
flaming briquettes...all there
to bury a myth with the dead

some, and by some...I mean few
dressed in black...looked nice
but the myth that black is slimming
you can put that one on ice

It's not a long walk from the chapel to the bench

It's a peaceful walk along the gravel trail

You can look out in the distance, past the cliffs out to the sea

And on most days you can even see a sail

There's a gentle scent of heather on the trail as you walk by

It's so calming as it works upon my mind

I've seen so many places as I've travelled on this earth

And this one is one time has left behind.

There's a small tree standing near the cliff just a little  further up

It has blossoms that blow down onto the shore

You can sit by it and wonder as the blossoms filter down

How much beauty can one's senses yet endure?

The grass is green as ever, like it's painted and not grown

But it smells just as fresh as fresh can be

With all these scents and visions here impacting on my mind

And this view that's just a beach and the blue sea

There's no one else around here as I sit silent on the bench

And that's nice for it gives us time to talk

There's birds out in the distance making noises in the air

And I can listen as they fly about and squak

The flowers by the path edge almost hide among the ferns

You can see them but you're not so sure they're there

The grounds are so pure perfect, that you can't believe their real

They are something, in a place so truly rare,

You can hear music in the background from the Church back up the path

At a volume that just says "I am here"

It's an extra added bonus to this sweet pastoral scene

Like Brigadoon, I feel soon  will disappear

The fog is rolling in now and the tide is coming too

There's clouds there and I haven't got much time

But, I'll stay a little longer sitting quiet on the bench

To not share this with another truly is a crime,

I think I'll take my leave now and start on out for home

It's really nice here and I know you'd like the view

I'll be back again tomorrow to chat some more again

All that's missing is sharing this with you

So, I'll leave these garden flowers on your stone here by the bench

They're for you dear, now I hear the waves crash on the shore,

We will speak again tomorrow when I come by once again

For dear I miss you and  I will forever more.

The Old Man sat and watched
Muttered some, not much
He just sat there watching shoppers
Use Black Friday as a crutch
A crutch to show inherent greed
Not caring what they bought
He watched them fight for useless stuff
And in the end, it's all for naught

He smiled and he just sat there
Just incensed by what he saw
As the double doors flew open
And opened the stores maw
Whenever did the season
Change from giving gifts to this?
I've been around for many years
Was there a memo that I missed

He sat and watched the melee
A retail **** you might say
Then he muttered once more slowly
And he rose and walked away
He shook his head from side to side
Trying to make sense of this whole scene
These people gave thanks yesterday
What does Christmas mean?

He stopped and picked up letters
From his post box on the way
And then he went up to the roof, you see
To his reindeer and his sleigh
The old man, well...it's Santa Claus
And he's adding new names to his list
With the nightmare down below him
There's now some folks who might get missed

London Bridge is falling down
falling down, falling down
London, Bridge is falling down
My fair lady

Terrorists are on the march
Taking lives upon the arch
The British show they're full of starch
My fair lady

Do not hide or they have won
no my son, no my son
We'll beat them like we beat the ***
My fair lady

We are made of stronger stuff
we are tough, we are tough
Teresa May we've had enough
My fair lady

London Bridge is standing tall
It won't fall, It won't fall
Band together, show them all
My fair lady

Daddy always said I was never gonna make it
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said to just go on and fake it
Never mind the cap and gown

Daddy always said there's no way out but dieing
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said there's no truth only lieing
No way up, there's only down

Daddy always said
Daddy always said

Work real hard and still you will go nowhere
Do your best, but this is where you'll die
Work real hard, but still you're getting nowhere
Ask yourself, why do I even try
Daddy always said

Daddy always said that school is just for losers
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said, there's no lovers just abusers
This place is gonna wear us down

Daddy always said, that I have no direction
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said, I was a waste of an *******
Never gonna leave this town

Daddy always said
Daddy always said

Work real hard and still you will go nowhere
Do your best, but this is where you'll die
Work real hard, but still you're getting nowhere
Ask yourself, why do I even try
Daddy always said

Daddy always said, to just follow the leader
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said, the town's  a monster and we feed her
Never gonna leave this town

Daddy always said, that we were both the same
Never gonna leave this town
Daddy always said, I was just a number not a name
And that is why I shot him down

Daddy always said
Daddy always said

Work real hard and still you will go nowhere
Do your best, but this is where you'll die
Work real hard, but still you're getting nowhere
Ask yourself, why do I even try
Daddy always said
Daddy always said
Daddy always said
Daddy always said....

Remember when life was delivered

from milk right on down to your meat

There'd be people  out delivering groceries

At least two on every side street

If you neglected to pick up an item

Just phone up and talk to the store

A delivery boy would soon bring it

You don't get this service no more

Each house had a door for deliveries

Your milk, cheese and eggs would all fit

If you call up today and said "tab it"

The person you're phoning would ****

Ice was delivered in wagons

Horses pulled them around every town

But, today ony fast food is delivered

And delivery horses aren't  found

Every morning when you'd get your paper

It was delivered as well by a kid

You could smell the fresh bread in the morning

with the glass bottles of milk with gold lids

Remember when life was delivered

It was all a much simpler time

Back when customer service was special

No it's gone and that's just a crime

A darkened bar
An old guitar
A stage that once played host
To all the Delta greats and now
to Robert Johnson's Ghost

An old man
His spitting can
A boy from up the coast
Learning how to play the blues
In the home of Johnson's Ghost

You gotta feel the music boy
You sure don't feel too much
Your fingers skipping half the notes
You're playing double dutch
Slide it, let the music meld
That's what folks all want the most
You got to feel it, yes sirree
Like Robert Johnson's Ghost

Five hours passed
Time went fast
But what he learned the most
Was feel the notes
That were wrote
By Robert Johnson's Ghost

The spirit has to fill you
You have to suffer for the blues
You can't come in and play for us
In shiny, brand new shoes

The old man
his spitting can
Made the young boy cry
He played the notes
That Johnson wrote
on the day that Johnson died

Until you feel the music boy
And stop playing double dutch
You got to slide the fingers son
Don't use the guitar as a crutch
Remember where you're playing
And to who it still plays host
You're playing for the netherworld
And Robert Johnson's Ghost

BRB, LOL
***, what the hell?
Can't today's kids learn to spell?
The things they write
I cannot tell
Has education
Gone to hell?
Can someone out there help me?

I can't read what they've written down
They're writing's really rotten
Penmanship's a basic skill
That most kids have forgotten

****, BRB
404 AND BBC
These don't mean a thing to me
Can someone out there help me?

Spellcheck is their holy grail
Without this app, most kids would fail
There'd be no words in tales they tell
Can someone out there help them?

I read a letter I received
The writing I could not believe
I've seen better on my sleeve
Can someone out there read this?

GFN, GFAP
FAQ, ASAP
Explain what I just wrote to me
Can someone out there help....please?