Wishing for another day
Where I could be with you
Nothing planned just lazing
and doing what we do
To me there's nothing better
than no plans and only you
After all these years together
You make our love just seem brand new

I tell you every morning
That I love you, and you know
That my day just isn't started
Until I've said I love you so

It may seem trite and childish
After though these many years
But, just saying it each morning
Means I still hold you so dear

Wishing for another day
Where I could be with you
Nothing planned just lazing
and doing what we do
To me there's nothing better
than no plans and only you
After all these years together
You make our love just seem brand new

Holding hands when we are walking
Just like we did so long ago
It's a comfortable feeling
One that folks in love all know

Each night we kiss each other
Say I love you and good night
I don't take your love for granted
And I love you says it right

Your'e the one I want beside me
All my days I have to go
I just need to say I love you
And I want the world to know.

Today I saw a man
He was sitting by the road
I couldn't see his face
But, his feelings...well, they showed

All of his belongings
Were beside him in a cart
I wanted to approach
But, my feet just wouldn't start

Today I saw a man
Picking butts up from the street
I crossed the road to pass him
And our paths, they didn't meet

He was searching in the gutter
For tobacco for a smoke
I didn't venture near him
Just in case he spoke

Today I saw a man
Sleeping in the park
It was early in the morning
It wasn't even dark

He was covered with a jacket
With a paper by his head
He slept just like a child
He looked like he was dead

Today I saw a man
In fatigues and baseball cap
Saluting at the cenotaph
I felt my heart fall to my lap

He saluted ramrod perfect
As just a soldier can
today, I learned a lesson
Today...I saw a Man

Today I put a little flag
Down, beside a stone
Where grass and weeds were rampant
And the plot was overgrown

I knew not where he came from
I did not know his name
But, today I left a flag for him
As I'm sure he'd do the same

Today I put a little flag
Beside a soldiers lonely plot
Just to show we thank you
And that nobody forgot

A little flag beside a stone
For one who gave his all
A little flag beside a stone
For answering the call

Today I put a little flag
It waves there in the cold
For a soldier lies beneath the earth
Never ever growing old

A simple little gesture
For a soldier long since dead
I cleaned away the grass and growth
So his story could be read

Today I put a little flag
And I hope you'll do the same
Just to show that you were there
Though you do not know their name

Maybe leave a poppy there
It may blow to someone's door
With a thousand other poppies
From those who came before

Today I put a little flag
Beside a stone, so hard and white
For a soldier who gave all he had
Doing what he thought was right

Today I put a little flag
Beside a stone and then I cried
Remembering how young he was
We won't forget just why he died

Today...I put a little flag

I heard an antique music box
Play out of tune and rather sour
But, the smell that came from in the box
I could savour by the hour
It took me back to days gone by
Days where messages weren't mixed
Where you heard terms you no longer here
Like "he got eighty sixed"
You'd watch tv together
Or sit and sing around the fire
Things were simple, crisper then
Not all muddled in a mire
Things had double meanings
Now, this music box I speak of
played a tune, I'm not quite sure
I think I heard it in a movie
sung by Dorothy Lamour
Lovely Hula Hands...I think
It took me back to days before
You could see inside the music box
There was a little secret door
I worked to get it open
To see what secrets it did hold
What some child might have hidden
what to them glittered like gold
I worked the rusty hinge some
And it opened with a squeak
Inside I found a flower
so brittle and so weak
Someone hid this flower
for a reason, only theirs
And it remained here deep in hiding
Away from peoples stares
I wrapped it in some paper
Put it back inside to hide
I left it for someone to find it
Long years after I had died
I could imagine where it came from
I might be right or might be wrong
But, in the not too distant future
They'd try to figure out the song
I decided that I'd leave it
Out of tune and slightly bent
For a time when I would need to
go back in time, with that sweet scent

An overnight sensation
Twenty years in the making
Finally you're noticed
All the roles that you've been taking

High School plays gave you the bug
Standing out front and centre stage
You made your choice of a career
Your life had turned a page

Little theatre groups did beckon
You'd learn your craft and be a star
But, no one told you just how long
you'd wait, or ...just how far

You beat the boards in summer stock
Singing Gershwin in the park
You'd work in summer themed resorts
Cleaning rooms out after dark

Acting, was your calling
You'd be a star one day...you knew
But, even though you'd keep on working
Your name to them was...who?

Extra work and commercials
You'd work the chorus for a while
No matter where you heard...no luck
You'd always leave them with a smile

You swore you'd not get botox
There'd be no nip and tuck
You swore you'd keep on trying
Remember...you've got pluck!!!

The lines were forming around your eyes
As time kept marching on
Your lips were getting thinner
The lead actress roles were gone

You'd pile on the makeup
And you'd lie about your age
No one checked your background out
So, you lied about the stage

But, one day ...there was a call back
A job you never thought was yours
It was sure to go to a younger girl
A true , new, photogenic *****

But, there it was....an offer
The one role to get your start
It said "Miss Watkins we are proud"
"to offer you the part"

You gratefully accepted,
didn't let them know the truth
It was better than a cruise ship show
You were truly through the roof

It was a show way  off broadway
The big time was around the bend
You could see the lights from out the back
You had made it...you'd pretend

The makeup went on heavy
But no one really cared
they just ate up your performance
Your soul you truly bared

The critics were enamored
They all loved you at first sight
It only took you twenty years
But, you'd made it overnight...

Why is it that some parents
Think that it's okay
To name their children Jesus
If they're born on Christmas day?

They name their children badly
Christmas names just do not fit
Imagine Frosty Watanabe
I bet he feels a twit

There's rules that must be followed
Jesus is not the name to use
No matter when your kid was born
He's not the leader of the Jews

We knew a J.C. Fitzmorris
When I was a kid in school
Said his name was Jesus Christ
To us, that wasn't cool

Poor J.C. took a beating
When he said that name of his
You see, no one did believe him
I felt so sorry for old Fitz

Holly Berry, Frosty
Snowflake and the rest
Are just not names for children
These names just aren't the best

Your child will just hate you
If you name them by the season
A friend of mine named Cupid
Is in therapy for this reason

So, please don't name them Jesus
Rudolph, Frosty, even Nick
There is only ever one of these
And your kid will feel a ****

But, if one night three months from now
The Holy Ghost pays you a visit
I think Jesus might be a good name
It's not so bad now...is it?

I met a man at urgent care
He was my roommate for a spell
I was there for dizziness
He was there because he fell

Tom, was old and in bad shape
Dementia ruled his world
He was found beside the toilet
All rolled up, his body curled

Beside him on the other side
Another woman lay
Dementia was her trouble too
That's two in just one day

What causes this mind madness
Is it chemical or a gene?
But, the numbers keep on climbing
To heights we've never seen

It used to be that cancer
was the one that touched most lives
But now, it seems Dementia
touches more as cancer dives

A prisoner knowing nobody
A fabricated world at best
A mind not knowing anyone
Puts a family to the test

Cancer is established
It has foundations and sells well
But, how do you approach Dementia
And help the people in this hell

Today, I had a roommate
His name was Tom, and he was old
I hope the world that he created
Is one where the streets are lined with gold.

Bill Watson was an average man
Had a wife and just one kid
He always gave top effort
At everything he did
But, one day, Bill was shaken
He was taken by surprise
By a visit from the heavens
And it was right before his eyes
Bill, went out into his backyard
And the sky lit up so bright
It could only be an angel
Come down to him that night
He looked, but couldn't make out
the shape that  came down  from the sky
He thought what was the reason
And he found no reason why
That he should get a visit
From an angel of the lord
His life was not of great importance
He was just one of the hoard
He believed and read his bible
But didn't quite live by the word
He went to church each year at Christmas
Although his sins could not be cured
But, here in his back garden
On his knees before the light
Bill Wilson confessed his sins to god
In the dark, this  Christmas night
He told the angel of his feelings
Of all the sins, of thought and deed
And he knelt there before the angel
waiting for the penance that he'd need
But, nothing broke the silence
Only Bill there in the yard
He couldn't quite make out the angel
though he tried so very hard
Then from behind the illumination
Came the word he waited for
"You've tripped the motion light, you *****"
"Now, come in and close the door!"

If you've never pulled some tinsel
Out of your cat's ****
Or cleaned up after "Fluffy"
Eats the poinsetta and throws up

Surely, you've redecorated
After "Fluffy" climbs the tree
You hear it smash into the floor
In the morning, about three

You've used wire to support it
Keep it straight, that is your goal
To "Fluffy" it's her present
It's her brand new scratching pole

When the tree has got no water
But, the cat just has to ***
You have to fill the bowl again
Beneath the dying tree

You kick ornaments around the room
And find out that they're glass
Because "Fluffy" had to play with them
So, you kick her in the ***

It's a Family Christmas Ritual
If you're the owner of a cat
You can't decorate and leave it
She won't have none of that

Christmas is the season
For cats to drive you mad
And give you Christmas memories
You wish you never had

So, if you've never seen the tinsel
That the cat ate just last night
You can see it just below her tail
If the light just hits it right

This is why I have a dog....

It is with great sadness that I must announce that wit has withered and died. Actually, it probably died years back, but, like a character on a soap opera, it returns in flashbacks on occasion.

The ability to use wit to insult, as Will Rogers, Dorothy Parker, and the great writers of the past is no more. The use of wit to make someone leave feeling good about themselves, while having just been put in their place verbally, is an art.

I told someone the other day that he was a veldt of intellect, he didn’t know what veldt meant, I could see from the complete look of “duh” on his face. He told me *******….and then after I laughed, he said it again.

This is the replacement comeback now….*******. Witty…at the least. Groucho Marx, was great with the witty comeback, Noel Coward was a genius with his ability to use wit to disarm a situation. Now, *******. yep….that’s it.

If, wit has a resurgence and there is a verbal afterlife, let’s hope ******* is left at the door, holding a copy of watchtower.

went to see my doctor
and he told me to lose weight
I said " you must be joking"
"I'm feeling really great!"
He reached down to my shoes
And he then untied my laces
"Now, Mr. Turner, tie them up"
"And don't make funny faces"
"I want to hear your breathing"
"As you try to tie them up"
"It'll will be quite exhausting"
"And you'll feel like throwing uP"
I said "Doc, you must be joking"
"of your test I have no fear"
But as I bent on over
My feet both disappeared
I said "What is that thing there?"
"It's blocking out my view"
He said "that large obstruction"
"is your tummy, that thing's you!"
I stood on up and there it was
My god, that thing was large
I'd bet if I went swimming
I'd be mistaken for a barge!
"Can you do your belt up?'"
"Get it to the second hole?"
I told the doc "No Problem"
"That's a realistic goal"
I undid my belt and gave a tug
I then pulled and I fiddled
But in the end I just liooked like
A balloon squeezed in the middle
He said "This isn't safe for you"
"It's not good for your heart"
"So I would say a diet and some exercise"
" is what you need to start"
"It's not  a quick solution"
"You must change the way you live"
"For you won't get any better"
"If you are aftaid to give"
He measured me and took my weight
And he did my BMI
He said "You need to make this change"
"or else, you're gonna die!"
There it was in black and white
He didn't sugar coat a thing
I either did what I was told
Or I'd hear the Angels sing.
I said, "OK, you 've got me"
"I'll commit to what you ask"
"You've scared me lots, now tell me when"
"We get started on this task"
"I can give you tools to help get fit"
"But it all is up to you"
"Just eat right and go slowly"
"And soon you'll see your shoes!"
He said there's many plans out
that can help you lose it fast
But, you didn't put in on real  quick
So, the results  will not last
I went home and I researched"
Atkins, Raw Food, Jenny Craig
I knew I could lose 50 pounds
If I just cut off one leg.
I could hobble around on crutches
Until I got a new one made
I'd be right in that fit zone
I would not be afraid,
But a voice way back inside me
Said, 'you pillock...do what's right"
"You didn't put it on quick"
"And you won't lose it overnight"
So, I changed what I was eating
No more fried foods and no bread
For I didn't want to wake up
And find out I was dead
I've exercised a little
I even went out for a jog
And I thought I moved quite swiftly
Till, I was past by an obese dog
I thought "you need some help boy"
I sympathize with you
I bet you can't see four feet
While I just can't see two!
I did weights  inside the basement
Watched dvds on my big screen
I've tried yoga and pilates
I've even danced a bit to Queen
So far there not much difference
But my energy is good
I keep on eating chocolate
I'm not trying like I could
I went back to the doctor
To follow up with him
And I knew that my achievement
was going to be dim
He said "good news, you're down a pound"
Just keep sticking to the plan
I said that it was difficult
But I'd do what I can
He said it may be just a pound
And I bet that didn't hurt
I didn't tell him I looked thinner
Because I'd worn a bigger shirt
So, here I am still trying
Of weight loss, there's no news
But if I look in the hall closet
At least I see my shoes!

The game was on again on Friday
We've been players in the game
Sometimes we were the  winners
And others...hey, it's just a game!

The players have all lined up
there are five out on the field
Let's see if someone scores tonight
And which one of them will yield

Three guys lined up and facing
Two women opposing them
All were ready, set to go
Let's get started then

White sweater, jeans
The first to move
It looks like we'll see a pass
But, from here his jeans are baggy
5 yard loss for baggy ***!

The women laughed and smiled
They were on defence right  from the start
The guys would have to send their best
If they were gonna win their hearts

Red workshirt, chinos, ballcap
Makes his way and gets quite far
He's armed with two tequilas
He doesn't see their longnecks on the bar

They laughed and drank his offer
He made some progress
second down
He makes off to his buddies
It's left up to their friend in brown

He ventures out to the jukebox
Finds something upbeat
for a dance
But chino's turned right on his heels
He's called an audible....second chance

He reaches out to both the girls
He gets their before his friend
If he fumbles this, his game is done
He won't be here at the end

We've seen this game a thousand times
Every week at every club
The players..always different
But the game's the same and there's the rub

Back to our five players
The man in brown got blocked before
He even made it to the girls
But, he barely made it to the floor

Red workshop wins this time folks
It looks like he won't go home alone
But, the girls have got another play
and it involves phoning home

The sudden ring's resounding
It shakes the bar and stops the man
Because while they were out dancing
He saw the rings on both their hands

Like I said, the game is always
going on ...with newer rules
It's amazing how married women
Make the men all  look like fools

A young boy, 7, and his sister, 10
Drowned today...so sad
At a time when young folks memories
should be the best they ever had
On a sunny summers day
Swimming out to far from shore
They are the newest of the lost
So far this summer, there's been 4
The lake is known as Erie
Known for not giving up it's dead
It's a small lake but decieving
It's a lake that sailors dread
An older sister was their lifeline
No lifeguards on this beach
One was dead while in the water
The other, almost out of reach
No graduation for these children
Weddings none, and children too
In Erie's depths their lifeforce lingers
The lake don't care a lick for you
the sand bar goes out quite a distance
Dropping off, it's cold and dark
The current there will **** you under
Like a shark attack without a mark
The next day the beach is open
Still no lifegurard on the shore
What will it take to have them down there
You have to ask, how many more?
Two souls were lost in Erie
A young boy 7, his sister , 10
A family torn asunder
This must not happen, not again

Is poverty contagious?
Is it just like a disease?
If not, can someone tell me why
the poor are treated worse than fleas?

They don't look any different
They look like us, they don't look strange
But, why when people see them
Do they act like they have mange?

I don't understand perceptions
Of people and the poor
They only ask for fairness
They do not ask for any more

They live and work among us
We are closer than you think
The way people act around them
It's enough to drive a man to drink

Pride, love and commitment
These are things they have to give
The only difference there between us
Is they need a clean, safe place to live

I know people make decisions
On what others see and do
But, perception of the homeless
Can only change with you...

Do you live your life through movies?
Through good music or through books?
Do you fashion how you live your life
By how another looks?
Are you trendy or a classic?
Never straying from the line
Do you change your hairdo weekly
Well, if you do....that's fine
Self image is a fickle beast
It's one we can't control
As one listens to classical
Someone else likes rock and roll
Do you wish the life you see up
on the giant movie screen
Is the one that you are living
Or are you living in between?
do you want to be a rock star?
Live your life out on the road
Or are you happy being where you are
Quite content to haul your load
Do you want to pack and travel
To places that you've read
Do you want to go and meet folks
From the past and now long dead ?
Do you dress like someone famous
From a brand new magazine
Do you steal phrases from the movies
From your favourite actors scenes ?
Are you a follower or a leader?
Or are you still one who's not sure?
Is your form of self expression
Locked behind a steel tight door?
Are you silent or are you noisy?
Must you be the one who's on
Or are you the wallflower in the corner
The one not missed when they are gone?
When you read does your mind wander
To a place you won't return
Or does it take you to the precipice
Where you turn once you have learned?
Do you have imaginiation?
Or do you think you've no ideas?
Do your thoughts all die of loneliness?
Are they blocked out by your fears?
If a movie helps you come alive
And the music makes you dance
Imagine what your mind could do
If you just gave it a chance
Plant a seed and watch it grow up
Take a chance and make that leap
Step out front and be the leader
Not in back where you just creep
Be the one who sings the music
Makes the movie, writes the book
Break out your imagination
Be where other people look
Are you one who lives through movies?
Thorough a book or in a song?
Break the mould and be the artist
Be good or bad...it won't be wrong.

you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul
no matter your addiction
no matter how you roll
you have to feed the devil
you have to fill the empty hole
you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul


cold turkey, gonna **** ya
with pain you've never seen
you're dancing with the devil
you never will get clean
don't try to win this battle
he's the best that's ever been
you've got to feed the devil
you never will get clean

welcome to the nightmare
the darkness, some say hell
have a drink, or needle
you never will get well
once you hit the bottom
you'll know how far you fell
welcome to the nightmare
the darkness, this is hell

you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul
no matter your addiction
no matter how you roll
you have to feed the devil
you have to fill the empty hole
you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul

feed the monster, keep him quiet
you won't like him if he's mad
you have to feed the devil
he's really good when things are bad
you have to keep him sleeping
let him lie still in his pad
you have to feed the monster
you won't like him when he's mad

play your cards, and pick your poison
he don't care which one you choose
you're addiction is what fuels him
and either way you lose
it's no longer such a gamble
baby needs some brand new shoes
play your cards and pick your poison
'cause either way you lose
play your cards and pick your poison
'cause either way you lose

The stranger rode up
as we sat round the fire
it was burning down low
and we were beginning to tire

He tied off his ride
By some brush by a boulder
He was just a young lad
Though in the dark he looked older

We offered him coffee
said sit down, have a cup
We said if you're hungry
There's still food to sup

He accepted and thanked us
Said he'd got lost on the trail
With the north winter winds
Bringing on early hail

He pulled up a stump
I saw a slight flash of tin
I said "you're a lawman"
he just gave a grin

I'm from up in Kansas
was back to my home
Had to visit my mama
she's all on her own

I poured him a coffee
And I told him what's what
I said it isn't the best
But, it's sure as heck hot

I smiled at his lie
And I stoked at the fire
I thought to myself
This man's a liar

I said "in this here circle"
"we may not all be friends"
"so, toss a log on this fire"
"and we'll hear how this ends"

He reached for a log
placed it in, didn't throw
didn't reach for the poker
moved it round with his toe

"The rules of the fire"
"Is that the tender regales"
"The rest of the members"
"with a song or some tales'

"since you just got here"
"and the fire is hot"
"tell us a story"
"give the best that you've got"

He shuffled a little
Took a sip, and began
And it just took a minute
To hook us all, every man

He talked of the rustlers
He'd been chasing around
How they got in a shoot out
How, they'd all gone to ground

He lived life a plenty
For a man of his age
He was just twenty three
But, he spoke out like a sage

He'd regaled us with stories
As the fire burned low
We were all getting tired
But, we did not want to go

He pushed at the embers
Again with his boot
He finished his coffee
And he lit a cheroot

For two hours he talked
Since the fire rules said
that the fire was his
Till we chose to all bed

When we woke in the morning
We found he took flight
He left our small fire
In the dead of the night

The fire was burning
And there was a fresh *** of brew
But the stranger was missing
And our saddle bags too

I was right when I reckoned
That he was telling us lies
I could tell from the way
He didn't look in our eyes

The boots didn't fit
He was just stretching them out
By heating them up in the fire
and moving about

He sure was no lawman
He was a teller of tales
Truths , half truths and lies
He had them by the pail

We packed up our camp
Tried to pick up the trail
Of this campfire thief
With the devilish tail

We knew we'd find him
For liars repeat
He'd come back to our fire
And we'd give him a seat....

If, during your travels
you meet a soldier while you're out
Thank them for your freedom
That's what it's all about

To them the job is duty
Be the best that they can be
They represent our values
Our country, you and me

Say thank you to a soldier
It really isn't hard
So many never hear it
So many come back scarred

So, If, during your travels
You meet a soldier, Say the words
They're little but so powerful,
And are rarely ever heard

No matter what your country
No matter where you are
Say Thank You to a soldier
Those words can go so far.

Always in the background
He doesn't think it's fair
No one really knows him
They don't know that he's there
But soon they will all know him
The world will know his name
He will share with them his message
They will remember that he came
At work he's just a number
They ignore him at school
Wearing plastic Buddy Holly glasses
But, not the kind that's cool
He's determined in his mission
They'll remember him for sure
Like those that went before him
He'll shake this place right to it's core
A shadow in his movements
No one really knows his face
Not many recognize him
By either name or face
But, once this day is over
The world will know his name
He'll make sure he ends up famous
The world will know he came
At work and school...invisible
Like a picture you don't see
But once he spreads his message
"They'll all remember me!"
Four months or so preparing
Making plans and making lists
All things are in order
There is nothing that he's missed
He heads to school that morning
Just a little after eight
He doesn't get there early
He plans on being late
He enters with two backpacks
Then he chains and locks the door
Before he sends his message
He chain locks five doors more
There's no one to disturb him
To distract him from his way
Today he'll become famous
Today will be his day
He heads into the mens room,
Leaves the empty backpack there
Now the doors are locked tight
The truth will come to bear
He opens up the other
And takes the contents out
Once he builds and loads these weapons
They will know what he's about
He heads up to the office
Takes his list out to be sure
Then he fires off the weapon
Blowing holes into the door
It's the first line of his message
"HI....it's me ...I'm Here!"
The staff just stand there startled
"It's okay...the end is near!"
He herds them down the hallway
Past the classes to the gym
Around the school the word is out
They will remember him
He opens up a classroom
Sprays his message there inside
They won't find out till later
From the burst....nine kids died
There's screaming in the hallway
Kids are running from the class
He turns and mows five more down
"They forgot their school hall pass!"
He gathered up three more here
Moved along and shot two more
Then he came up to a classroom
And he opened up the door
The students here were cowering
In the corner, by the wall
He was smiling at them sickly
He was having quite a ball
He went over to the window
Saw the cop cars all arrive
By the time that he was finished
They would not all leave alive
He knew kids would have cell phones
And they'd be phoning right away
They'd call the cops, their parents
But today, would be his day
His Buddy Holly glasses
looked askew upon his face
But he didn't care about them
And he put them back in place
He took them to the gym now
He'd already chained the doors
There would not be any windows
On his way he shot three more
News crews arrived directly
They already knew his name
They'd all tweaked on to his message
They didn't like his game
Phone calls from survivors
Told the police who he was
they didn't know his reason
They didn't know his cause
They went to his apartment
Found the note there on the wall
"Today, you'll know about me..
I'm gonna **** them all"
The SWAT team broke the first door down
And they went from room to room
They hurried out survivors
Past the ones who met their doom
Before they chose to venture
Down the hall into the gym
They had to find a method
To try and contact him
They knew that he had others
He could use as barricades
And they wanted them out safely
Before they tried a full out raid
So they called on one kids cell phone
Got him on the phone to tell
The reason for this slaughter
The reason for this hell
"No one here remembers me"
"I'm a zero, I do not count"
"Before the day is over"
"The numbers, they will mount"
"I'm a cipher in the background"
"I'm the one that no one sees"
"But before today is finished"
"You will remember me"
It was obvious to the SWAT team
He had chosen "Death by Cop"
As a way to spread his message
They would have to make him stop
They kept him on the phone to talk
While they worked in through the roof
He would find out from a snipers gun
His was not the only truth
A small hole in the ceiling
Gave the line of site required
And it only took five seconds
Before the snipers gun was fired
It hit him in the forehead
Threw him back against the wall
And as he slid down floorward
They burst in from the hall
That day he left his message
People would not forget his name
And it's ten years after
And they still all know his name
Outside there is no statue
They built a fountain there instead
On the floor in cobalt tile
Are the names of all the dead
His message reached the world that day
He murdered twenty two
They all know all about him
He got what he set out to do.
It's sad we know the shooters
Victims names to us are lost
So, please forget this young mans message
And remember what it cost.

The old man sat in the darkness
Taking in what he could see
He smiled, although slyly
And he leaned in close to me

He said the air is different
You can taste it here abouts
Listen close to what's around you
The air is different...there's no doubt

I didn't understand him
He spoke in concepts, not in words
He talked of feeling the emotions
Of people running 'round in herds

He said, I've been here sixty years now
Seen people come and people go
I used to be the barkeep
But, then that's something that you know

I've seen Elvis and The Beatles
Seen Presidents and Kings
I've seen hearts torn all asunder
And the pain that a war brings

I saw Kennedy on that TV
That, one behind your head
I watched him drive on straight through Dallas
And moments later he was dead

This place was just dead silent
On the day that that man died
And hand to god I'll tell you
I was all torn up inside

I saw soldiers in that Vietnam
Fighting for what? I don't know
I saw them on that TV there
I watched them lining up to go

I saw them having rally's
Taunting those who had the guns
I saw them bringing back the caskets
Of the now dead, teenage sons

That TV showed me lots of stuff
It never strayed far from the news
It always shows the Tigers game
I turn it up to hear the boos

I saw King and Bobby on that set
Taken way to young
God, it would have been a different world
To see what things they might have brung

I sat back and I listened
The old man, went on a while
He waved ******* skyward
And said, two more beers ...with his smile

My life has been a good one
I've been alone, except for here
I watch the outside on that set
It was then, we got our beer

I remember back when Elvis died
He was the best back in the day
But, me I liked Sinatra
Dean Martin, Bob and Ray

There was folks in here all crying
singing songs, and holding hands
on various occassions
from Lennons death, to Bobby Sands

I never really took part
In the lives of those who came
To spend their time here with me
I only knew a few by name

My job was just to serve them
Not to be their new best friend
I guess that's why I sit here still
Watching, waiting for the end

That set has shown me good and bad
That one, behind your head
It hasn't worked for fifteen years
We got a new one in instead

It's there as a reminder
more to me, than those still here
That life is for the living
And I'm alive while I am here

He rose and turned back to me
Said, it's time for us to close
I'll be back again tomorrow
To watch more highs and maybe lows

I watched the old man shuffle
To his room, and to his bed
Past the TV he saw life on
On the wall behind my head.

Every day is a brand new canvas

Different textures, different hues

Let's see where the day shall take us

And what colours shall I use?

The sun is out and it is shining

Yellows, golds, we'll use today

A vibrant start to this great morning

Gonna be a super day

Colours fade when you're not with me

Even for a little while

Blacks and greys bring shadows out

When you're not here to show your smile

There's so many vibrant colours

That explode from in my heart

But they're gone when you're not with me

The colour's gone when we're apart

Greens and blues bring life to pictures

New growth, lively, breaths of life

The image shows it's strength internal

As it forms beneath the artist's knife

The painting lives beyond the canvass

Burnt impressions in your mind

This is what the artist lives for

This is what he had designed

Colours fade when you're not with me

Even for a little while

Blacks and greys bring shadows out

When you're not here to show your smile

There's so many vibrant colours

That explode from in my heart

But they're gone when you're not with me

The colour's gone when we're apart

Reds bring out the inner anger

Sending flames across the page

There's no way to hide emotions

When the artist is filled with rage

Just temper down the reds with orange

Browns and golds, and leaves that fall

Now you look at scenes of nature

And once again the artist calls

For just with a splash of colour,

Each day takes shape in different lines

But with you, each day's a rainbow

And each day has new designs

But...

Colours fade when you're not with me

Even for a little while

Blacks and greys bring shadows out

When you're not here to show your smile

There's so many vibrant colours

That explode from in my heart

But they're gone when you're not with me

The colour's gone when we're apart

Now the day has come and gone

The evening dusk invades the view

But, dusky colours from life's palette

Make stars shine, when I'm with you.







Write a comment...
..

At what point , does the liquor
Start doing the talking?
At what point do you cease to exist?
Is it three shots, or four shots
When the liquor starts talking
You are buzzed but you aren't really ******
The people around you
Notice you're slightly different
The bartender says to you
"no more drinks"
But the liquor inside you,
Tells him where he can stick it
The liquor's in charge now, me thinks
You try to control it
You try not to listen
You want to pack up and go home
But, the liquor inside you
Says, ****...keep on drinking
I'm in charge now,
And you're not alone.
It happens so quickly
The old you gets buried
The new you comes out
Between rounds
It's funny, it happens
When the liquor takes over
And it does it
without making a sound
Some people surface
when the liquor is talking
The new person is
much more fun
But, tomorrow...you'll know
that the liquor was talking
When your head hurts
at the sound of the sun
Drinking ain't evil
It's just a product of living life large
But, watch out you people
for when the liquor starts talking
you know you're no longer in charge
So, when does it happen ?
When the liquor takes over
Is it three shots or possibly more?
You'll know, yes I'm certain
when the liquor is talking
That is when they will show you
the door.

Wishes and false promises
On moonbeams and on stars
A year of dreams and nightmares
Of newly healing scars

Dreams are a seduction
An illusion of the mind
Dreams are for the children
They are movies in your mind

Age tones down those images
Dreams forgotten in the wake
Dreams vanish in reality
And that's the form they take

A dream left in the storeroom
Of a mind, with room to grow
Will flourish and grow steadily
And be shared for all to know

Dreams, are our existence
In the real world and the night
Dreams are full fledged wishes
That will die if not made right

Never lose the child
Keep dreams and wishes near
Keep fairy dust in packets
Of the darkness have no fear

Dreams are just illusion
but illusion isn't real
a heart can be un-broken
if you dream that love is real

share your dreams and feelings
write them out and read them too
never lose the dreams or wishes
they keep the child light in you.

Better days were in the past
For the bar and all inside
Windows broke and lights burned out
The bar had long since died

Carpets gone and floors all worn
Scorch marks on the wall
Smells of stale beer in the air
the bar had it's last call

Welcome to the Stagger Inn
Good Food and Cold Beer Too
Live bands every single night
And it's air conditioned too
Welcome to the Stagger Inn
A bar befits it's name
We'll take you the way you are
And we're mighty glad you came

The stage was now an eyesore
As was most of what was here
Way back in the corner
Sat a woman with her beer

Hair was streaked with boot black
From a time, who knows when
The bar was dead or dying
As were most in this old den

A few nights folks would still come here
To see the towns old jewel
What once was gold and glistened
Now was just no longer cool

The lady way back in the corner
Hadn't danced since eighty three
Ten times a night she'd go and
Play the jukebox tune  5B

A song about the devil
calling him silver tongued was  her pick
She'd hit the worn out buttons
While giving her  chapped lips a lick

Sitting in the back and nursing
A beer as dead as the bar
On a steady diet of Winstons
That had made her voice as thick as  tar

Welcome to the Stagger Inn
Good Food and Cold Beer Too
Live bands every single night
And it's air conditioned too
Welcome to the Stagger Inn
A bar befits it's name
We'll take you the way you are
And we're mighty glad you came


Maybe fifteen people came here
When the other places were full
You could see the worn out tiles
Where there once was a mechanical bull

Trends were never big here
Though they tried a few to survive
The bar was dead and dying
Housing folks who now were barely alive

The last band that they had here
Was a cover group from down in NC
They didn't last the evening
Getting out done by  old 5B

The woman in the corner
With the boot black streak of wild
closed her eyes and listened
To the memories she had compiled

If you ever choose to come here
I don't think you'll stay long
But, I know you'll hear a singer
Talk of the devil in that 5B song

The door is always open
At the dead and dying Stagger Inn
A place that still lives through the ages
And the folks remembering what might have been

Welcome to the Stagger Inn
Good Food and Cold Beer Too
Live bands every single night
And it's air conditioned too
Welcome to the Stagger Inn
A bar befits it's name
We'll take you the way you are
And we're mighty glad you came

I'M SANTA IN THE TOWN PARADE
I SIT UP HERE AND FREEZE
AND FOR THREE WHOLE WEEKS AFTERWARDS
I SIT AT HOME AND SNEEZE
IT REALLY IS DEPRESSING
TO SIT HOME WITH A COLD
EACH YEAR I GET SICK EASIER
I GUESS I'M GETTING OLD

I'VE DONE THIS NOW FOR THIRTY YEARS
THE TIME'S GONE BY SO FAST
EACH YEAR I SIT AND TELL MYSELF
THIS YEAR WILL BE MY LAST
BUT EVERY TIME THEY PHONE ME
AND ASK ME "WILL I PLEASE?"
I TELL THEM THAT MOST CERTAINLY
I'LL COME ALONG AND FREEZE

I'VE SEEN SOME THINGS AS SANTA CLAUS
FROM UP ATOP MY SLEIGH
EACH YEAR THE FLOATS GET WILDER
IT REALLY MAKES MY DAY
I'M NOT THERE FOR THE MONEY
I DO IT FOR THE SIGHT
OF SEEING CHILDREN WAVE AT ME
WITH EYES AND SMILES BRIGHT

THEY'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER GUY
WHEN I GIVE UP THIS GIG
HE'LL HAVE TO BE A SPECIAL BLOKE
WITH A STOMACH ROUND AND BIG
HE HAS TO BE REAL JOLLY
AND ALSO VERY NICE
'CAUSE SITTING ON THIS SLEIGH EACH YEAR
CAN TURN YOUR ***** TO ICE!!!

I must have missed the memo
Lost the note or dropped a call
I don't remember when you said it
I don't remember it at all

You said it was important
I knew that this was true
I just could not quite remember
The bride to be was you

I knew I had to be there
I vaguely knew we booked a room
But, if I didn't know the first part
Then I sure wasn't the groom

I must have missed the memo
Lost the note or dropped a call
I don't remember when you said it
I don't remember it at all

I knew we'd seen the doctor
Can't remember just what for
I didn't know you'd had the baby
Until you both came through the door

I was sure I would remember
The second time the baby came
I even went to down to the doctor
but, could not quite get your name

I must have missed the memo
Lost the note or dropped a call
I don't remember when you said it
I don't remember it at all

Two kids, and I had missed them
Que Sera, what will be will be
But, I sure do not remember
When you popped out number three

As time went by so quickly
I missed birthdays and some games
But, I always knew the children
Had completely different names

I must have missed the memo
Lost the note or dropped a call
I don't remember when you said it
I don't remember it at all

They've grown, the house is empty
There is only you and me
I remember when it bustled
With two kids...oh, sorry ...three

I came home the house was empty
Just the tv and a chair
I knew something must be missing
I didn't know what wasn't there

I know you'll tell me things tomorrow
Things I should have done today
But, I just can't help but wonder
why is all our stuff away?

You know those questions that you get
Like why is the sky blue?
The ones you can not answer
But, try to pass off that you do

Well I got one the other day
My son came up and said
What with Jesus and with Christmas
I told him...go to bed!

It's only three o'clock he said
Well...then...go and ask your mom
Dad, I already asked her and
you're where she said to come

I thought, my god, she owes me now
So, I told him, grab a seat
I figured I'd go down in flames
But, I'd fight in my defeat

He said, all the Christmas specials
talk of Christmas and that stuff
But, Rudolph, Garfield, Frosty
well, I think I've watched enough

Some talk of baby Jesus
Others talk of shops and toys
Why is Jesus linked to Christmas
And I answered him.....with poise

Jesus Christ, the son of God
came to earth in all his Glory
Now, go and read you bible
The games on...read the story

He trundled off, I thought I'd won
In an hour he returned
With that face, you know the one I mean
Dad...there's something that I learned

If Jesus Christ and Christmas
are tied together, as we see
Did they celebrate on Christmas Day
Before Christ turned thirty three?

I mean, was it Christmas for a reason
Or did it start once he was dead?
I thought, that's a good question
And it came from my boy's head

His mother brought hot chocolate
She still owed me, and she knew
that whatever payback I devised
would be multiplied by two

I said, son, the idea of true Christmas gifts
Dates to 313 A.D
Back to someone called Saint Nicholas
Santa Claus to you and m

The wise men came with presents
To celebrate the ****** birth
They celebrated the fact that God
had sent his son to earth

So, what does that have to do with snoopy
Rudolph, Jack Frost, my son said
I told him, read your bible
The story's there, no go to bed

He smiled and he hugged me
He said I think I know one part
It's that Christmas isn't presents
It's something you feel in your heart

It's a spirit of goodwill to man
And to all who you may meet
I said, yep...that's it
You've summed it up, maybe I should have a seat

So, Christmas isn't retail,
It can't be bought, it has no box
It's a feeling deep within you
though...this year I need some socks

It may have his name attached
But, true Christmas is defined
By our love for one another
and the love for all mankind

The graveyard
had been redesigned
The walkways had
been realigned

The biggest change
At least to me
Was the signs now out
For all to see

Five short words
that we all read
Not keep off the grass
Don't tread on the dead

Genius,
You'd have to say
Don't walk where we
The dead all lay

This sign,
It said it best
Don't tread on the dead
Let them all rest

Keep on the path
Respects may be paid
Just stay off the grass
One request made

The simplest sign
The words stay in your head
Not...keep off the grass
Just...Don't tread on the dead

A woman at the airport
Blamed her excess weight
On her metabolism
Not, on what she ate

I gave her the once over
Which wasn't really nice
Because of all the space she took
I had to do it twice

She complained it was her body
That played this trick on her
she giggled as she said it
acting quite demure

Her chin reached to her cleavage
And her cleavage reached her knees
She was sitting drinking soda
And eating hamburgers in threes

She had a super sandwich
Some chicken and a pop
It seemed that once she started
This woman couldn't stop

Then my mind turned inward
I truly understood what she had said
The answer to her problem
Was truly in MY head

She blamed metabolism
She meant Met-a-bowl-ism...psych!!
It was then I thought she'd never
Met - A - Bowl..she didn't like!

You don't hear it much
My music, my muse
My soul was taken away
That's something big to lose

Contracts signed and sealed
Delivered...not to me
Money never came my way
Not a penny did I see

Follow the music and you will find
Musicians like me,
We all went and signed
Contracts worth nothing
Not to us, not a cent
Follow the money
And see where it went

We poured our emotions
Our hearts and our souls
We gave them our music
Which they all then stole

Producers, execs
all down the line
All made the money
On songs that were mine

I heard all the rumours
But, they must be wrong
Then I wrote and signed off
On another hit song

Follow the music and you will find
Musicians like me,
We all went and signed
Contracts worth nothing
Not to us, not a cent
Follow the money
And see where it went



I was not famous
But, there must be some sales
Just follow the money
From the bargain bin pails

Somebody, somewhere
Was raking it in
As companies folded
In the business of tin

Houses of cards
Fold and collapse on the floor
But, the money went somewhere
'Cause I'm still in the stores

Follow the music and you will find
Musicians like me,
We all went and signed
Contracts worth nothing
Not to us, not a cent
Follow the money
And see where it went


Somebody made out
Like a bandit with me
My albums still selling
From around sixty three

Just follow the money
And see where it goes
Into some execs houses
And some dj's nose

I'm too old to go
And do a oldies rock show
I'm always invited
But, I never will go

My voice is all raspy
And one thing's still wrong
I get paid for the singing
But, I don't own the song

I know that I made it
But I hate the sound
Of my music creations
That I sold by the pound

Every time that they surface
On late night FM
I know somebody else
Made cash off of them

Just follow the money
And then you will see
The thousands of others
Who were ripped off like me

I play ***** tonks
and run down bars
I play mandolin
And two guitars
I play where you
can smoke cigars
I'm the best that's ever been

Name a song
I'll play it loud
I'll sing louder
than the crowd
My name is
Billy Joe Mc Cloud
I'm the best that's ever been

I'm the best **** four stringed six string
and eight stringed twelve string
or Three stringed mandolin player
That you will ever hear
And if you don't believe me
Listen up, and have a beer
You may think I'm crazy
But deep down you know it's true
I play a four stringed six string
eight stringed twelve string
three string mandolin
A hell of a lot better than you

I grew up
with little hands
Couldn't make it
In real bands
So, I cut some strings
You understand
And I'm the best that's ever been

So I miss some
minor notes
It still hits home
and the music floats
It's not the same
as what was wrote
But, I'm the best that's ever been

You'll love me
yes, I know you will
Just listen once
To get that thrill
One song in ,
your doubt I'll ****
I'm the best that's ever been

Little hands
and short of strings
But when i play
The guitar sings
Just have a beer
And some hot wings
I'm the best that's ever been
Yes, I'm the best that's ever been

I'm the best **** four stringed six string
eight stringed twelve string
Three stringed mandolin player
That you will ever hear
And if you don't believe me
Listen up, and have a beer
You may think I'm crazy
But deep down you know it's true
I play a four stringed six string
and an eight stringed twelve string
or athree string mandolin
A hell of a lot better than you

The 787 Dreamliners
tickets sold but not going
Would you really get aboard
a plane whose name is "Boing"?

Because of counterfeit parts
There are no Dreamliner flights
There is also a new rumour
That the crew is scared of heights

There are only a few airports
Where the Dreamliner resides
The rest have too short runways
Though they all are extra wide

I am sure that in the future
They will resolve the growing pains
And that the Boeing 787
Will fly high above the "planes"

Amulets and Talismans
Hide your daughters, arm your sons
Something wicked this way comes
There's evil o'er the land

Coats of grey and coats of blue
Pick a side, which one are you?
The dead are many, survivors few
Freedom is at hand

The fields are littered with the dead
What once was gold, now bleeds red
Corpses now grow here instead
What cost does freedom bring?

Crimson now does paint the earth
The blood of boys scant years from birth
They gave their lives, for what it's worth
Hear the bells of freedom ring

Two hundred years and more since then
The tides of war begin again
An endless circle with no end
Arm your daughters, arm your sons

Talismans and Amulets
Don't protect from fighter jets
It's sad how soon the world forgets
Something wicked this way comes....

I see the sunshine in your eyes
Behind the blue and green
It is the brightest light I know
And it sets my being free

I know where you've been through the day
Your perfume lingers there
And at night when it's just us alone
I can breathe it in your hair

You are my one and only love
You are my reason to go on
for without you here and by my side
I could never be as strong

It's funny how our lives have gone
Crossing paths along the way
We've gone to places, we both know
But never met until that day

We've had our battles big, and small
Each resolved in it's due time
Each day begins with one small kiss
Just to show that you're still mine

You are my one and only love
You are my reason to go on
for without you here and by my side
I could never be as strong

As time goes on and we both age
Never changing who we are
I stand back and look at us amazed
At how we've grown and come so far

Love itself will change as time
Grabs a hold and leads our life
It's more romantic now that we are old
And we're still here as man and wife

You are my one and only love
You are my reason to go on
for without you here and by my side
I could never be as strong

My Christmas tree
Is not the same as yours
You see, my tree is in my mind
It can't be bought in stores

It's made up of a lot of things
I couldn't ever, ever buy
And I put them on my Christmas Tree
Using my minds eye

The star atop my Christmas tree
Is as bright as bright can be
My tree topper  is The North Star
It's the brightest one you see

For tinsel, I use icicles
That Mother Nature made
By hitting us with an ice storm
With devastation laid

For ornaments, I have my pick
There is so much there to choose
With a winter pallet so diverse
With whites, reds, greens and blues

For lights, I use the stars again
And street lights as I need
I let them shine and light my tree
It's the brightest tree indeed

In my mind my tree is ten feet tall
With gifts piled half as high
But, in reality, there is no tree
It's just in my minds eye

You see, I am a prisoner
Of machines and stuck in doors
I haven't had a Christmas Tree
Since Nineteen Eighty Four

But, still I choose to celebrate
Giving gifts and sending cards
But I lie here looking outward
So, going out, well...it's too hard

My tree, it is incredible
And the best part, I must say
Is that I can enjoy it all year round
And when I'm done, it goes away

No needles dropping on my floor
No checking strands of lights
My tree, it shows up when I want
And it's always out of sight

I wish you could walk in my mind
And share my tree with me
It's ten feet tall, and beautiful
And it's just for me to see.

The sun was shining brightly
My eyes could not adjust
My eyelids were not working
My eyeballs felt like rust

The night before was over
But, still it lingered on
A new day was beginning
And yesterday was gone

I can't tell you just what happened
Where I went, or what I did
That memory was missing
It had all but gone and hid

Was my mind just in denial
Hiding thoughts within my brain
Or was it just that all this drinking
Was slowly driving me insane

I would wake up tasting yesterday
In a place I did not know
Sometimes with another person
Looking for a way to go

The sunshine could be painful
Reminding me a day had passed
I just never could remember
The thoughts would leave so fast

Maybe it was self protection
But, if I bet, I'd say...it's not
I know I went out  drinking
But just how much, or really...what

Tonight, I'll repeat all  my actions
It's just a habit, I can't break
There's no way to fight this devil
There's more than just my soul at stake

The devil drives my ride now
He sitcks around, just for a while
But. I know he's in the darkness
Watching his work with a smile

The sunshine hurts my skin now
My eyes are squinted shut
In my head I hear the rumble
Of empty blackness in my gut

Another day of sorrow
I just can't change the way I live
The devil takes from deep inside me
And what he takes...I freely give

One day, I'll wake up sober
I'll remember all I have done
But, if I don't survive the battle
Can someone please turn off the sun?

Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Get all geared up
Go to the store
Can't find a thing
That you came for

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

Keep people safe
Don't touch too much
Remember you must
Wipe what you touch

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Best stay at home
Do not go out
Eat what you want
Till you run out

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag

You're doing the Covid Rag now
Doing the Covid Rag
Really, it's ****** sad now
We're doing the Covid Rag

So, Put on your mask
Don't touch your face
Remember to leave
Six feet of space

Look at you now, you're doing the Covid Rag

Throw up your hands, you're doing the Covid Rag
Stay safe at home, doing the Covid Rag
Doing the Covid Rag, Doing the Covid Rag

Days pass by and people change
Some for better, some for not
You don't know why you're together
You were in love, but now you're not
To see each other daily
Is this the life you bought?
You've gone different directions
You were in love, but now your'e not

Once day you were a couple
Your lives were full of fun and smiles
To stop each others heartbreak
You'd walk a million miles
But, now the light has dimmed
You've gone and switched the dials
To get away from one another
You'd walk a million miles

Once you had love
Much stronger than
Any love you've ever known
Now, you just get on with life
No affection ever shown
Your kisses leave a bitter taste
Your disdain for each has grown
You stay away and live your lives
You're happier alone

It's a love story familiar
With too many folks it seems
You fall in love, get married
And you share all of your dreams
But real life comes, And people change
Some for better, some for worse
Now, you look upon your marriage
As a god forsaken curse

Being happy's not a given
It takes work and lots of time
But, the end result is worth it
Even with all of the cryin'
You know that change is coming
Things aren't always status quo
So, embrace the change together
It's more fun with one you know

I'd made the call and waited
About an hour passed and then
The doorbell broke the silence
I started breathing once again
I answered, staring blankly
There were two men and a girl
I let all three make entry
I was now part of their world
The tall man, dark and weathered
Said "we must first check you out"
And they left the girl just standing
And the two men moved about
They went  upstairs and then came back
Both nodding, not a word
Then they proceeded to the basement
Where not a sound was heard
On their  return they looked at me
Tall man spoke once more
"Your place is clean, it's only you?
There isn't any more?"
I told him no, it was only me
I could hear my heartbeat now
I'd crossed into another world
One that the law would not allow
You see I'd phoned a number
I saw it in the papers ads
I was feeling kind of lonely
And I was feeling kind of sad
The first time that I phoned it
Yes, I had to call again
The first time that I phoned it
I couldn't talk...and then
I hung it up and thought a bit
I dialed and heard the ring
when they answered I just mumbled
And I could barely say a thing
They could tell I'd never done this
Phone for company at night
I didn't know the etiquette
I didn't ask them right
This time, though they cut off the call
and I thought that was end
I would have to call another number
If I was to be paying for a "friend"
I poured a drink to calm my nerves
Then the doorbell rang you know
I'd just blown through one whole hour
I was still feeling rather low
Now, back to this groups entry
They read the rules and I agreed
She was not the most attractive
But, she was the one who'd fill my need
The men both left, they took the cash
I had to pay them  in advance
I just stood there with this woman
Wanting just to do the dance
She smiled at me demurely
Asked me what I called to do
Did my needs stray from the normal
Or did I only want to *****?
I blushed and said, "I'm normal"
"My wife is out of town"
"I really don't know how to ask this"
She smiled and kneeled down
She took her t-shirt off at first
And she put it on the chair
But first, she folded it
and she ran her fingers through her hair
Delicate, not street weary
Her face now showed her age
This was some body's young daughter
She was acting on this stage
She grabbed my belt, and then my pants
And she told me to sit back
My heart was beating louder now
I was starting to lose track
Of  the entire situation
Phoning up and buying her
It was just another purchase
She just kneeled there so demure
I thought about my wife now
What she'd do and if she'd leave
I would have to lie forever
My dear wife I'd deceive
The girl looked up as if to say
Hey bud we're on the clock
And as much as mind was backing out
My **** was like a rock
I thought of things to **** the urge
Like baseball and old hags
Of women peddling on the street
All smelly and in rags
But as my mind wanted out
My body wanted more
I couldn't shut the blood flow
I was going to have this *****
The act took only minutes
She barely touched me...and I blew
"You can tell you'd never done this:
"It's so obvious, you're new"
She went to use the bathroom
Clean herself and call her ride
And while she did this process
A part of me just died
I'd broken down my marriage
Destroyed it in one act
I went against my wedding vows
How would I now react?
I'd have to keep the secret
My wife knows I'm crap at that
she'd only have to look at me
and then sir, that was that
How would I explain the missing money
where'd four hundred dollars go
I could not tell her what happened
But still, I'm sure she'd know
the guilt would surely **** me
I would not get through the year
She would be a grieving widow
I knew that I would die of fear
Now, sitting down I poured a drink
And emptied out my head
Now I'd played it out inside my mind
And now, I'm off to bed
I never made the phone call
They never showed up at my house
I just played it out inside  my brain
You see, I'm really quite the mouse
I would fantasize it happened
Knowing I'd never phone at all
For the end was too **** scary
And I shuffled down the hall.

I'VE COME TO MY KIDS CHRISTMAS PLAY
JUST LIKE I DID LAST YEAR
THIS YEAR THOUGH, I'VE COME PREPARED
I'VE BROUGHT ALONG SOME BEER
I FIGURE THAT I'LL NEED IT
TO HELP ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
'CAUSE WHEN THOSE **** KIDS
TAKE THE STAGE...IT REALLY IS A SIGHT

INSTEAD OF USING THE SAME DOLL
THEY'VE GOT ONE THAT IS NEW
THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG WITH IT
IS THIS **** DOLL IS BLUE
THIS YEAR THEY'VE ADDED DONKEYS
IN COSTUMES MADE FROM NERF
THEY HELP TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF,
THEIR JESUS IS A SMURF

THIS YEAR THE WISE MEN GOT IT RIGHT
AND THEY'RE ALL WEARING THONGS
YOU CANNOT HEAR THE CHOIR
THEY'RE FLIP-FLOPPING THROUGH THE SONGS
THEIR ROBES TOO, ARE MUCH BETTER
THEY DON'T WEAR DRESSING GOWNS
THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE A GROUP OF ROCKS
NOW, THEYRE DRESSED UP RIGHT IN BROWN

LAST YEAR MY  SON, HE PLAYED A ROCK
HE WAS A BIG SUCCESS
THIS YEAR HE'S MARY'S STAND-IN
AND HE HAS TO WEAR A DRESS
I HOPE THAT HE DOES NOT GO ON
CAUSE, GOD FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
I'M NOT QUITE SURE THE F/X CREW
CAN MAKE A BOY GIVE BIRTH

THIS PLAY WAS BETTER THAN THE LAST
WE DIDN'T LAUGH AS MUCH
POOR JOSEPH USED A POGO STICK
TO REPRESENT A CRUTCH
IT WAS ARTISTIC LICENSE
TO HAVE THE CRUTCH OUT THERE
HE TRIPPPED UPON THE MAGII
AND WENT FIVE FEET IN THE AIR

I'VE COME TO MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PLAY
FOR THREE YEARS IN A ROW
IT ONLY COSTS TWO FIFTY
AND THEY PUT ON QUITE A SHOW
I SAID THE SAME THING LAST YEAR
AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN
I'LL BE BACK NEXT CHRISTMAS TIME
ONE NIGHT FROM EIGHT TILL TEN.

I flagged down the first taxi
I got in and told him where
I told him "take me home "
"I'll let you know when we are there"
He asked me which direction
I said for him to head out west
Then I asked him for a favour
I pulled a cd from my vest
I said "can you please play this"
"I'll give directions on the way"
"If you do, I'll pay you double"
There was nothing he could say
He slipped the disc in, headed out
In the direction I had said
Then I listened to the music
And let it filter through my head
Elton John, broke through the silence
singing "Take Me to The Pilot"
Two verses in, I said "turn left"
He made the turn, but remained silent
Another verse, another turn
I was sitting back, just waiting
Then he asked "Where we going, sir"
I said "home", although, 'till then I'd been debating"
Curtis Mayfield filled the background
Three verses in, we made a turn
I sat there, heading homeward
Exactly where, was no concern
We turned twice more, continued straight
Dr. John sang Iko Iko
The driver followed my commands
Turns out, his name was Nico
the songs came on, played out and he
Drove exactly where I said
You see, I've been this route before
I know the music in my head
A different disc, with different songs
Would get me home as well
The streets we chose to drive on
Well, I simply cannot tell
My route is formed through music
It fills me up and leads the way
To exactly where I need to be
Like home, the place today
The Four Seasons sang of "What A Night"
Back in nineteen sixty three
I told the driver "take a right"
It's the third place that you see
He asked if I was certain
It was just an empty lot
There was nothing there too special
I said "yeah, this here's the spot"
I paid him and I left his cab
I said "I may just see you soon"
He gave me my cd back then
He must have thought I was a loon
I sat down in the empty lot
I grew up here as a lad
My Mum and Pa, my brother too
Best times I ever had
The house came down 10 years ago
Nothing bad, just aged and rot
I still paid the city taxes
You see, I own the lot
I visit here each summer
Grab a cab and play the tunes
they take me home inside my mind
As I go visit the ruins
My Mum and Dad are gone now
Moved to Arizona three years back
My brother, in the Army
Last I heard, he's in Iraq
I sat here for an hour
Then I walked on down the block
Listening to my minds eye music
Walking slow and kicking rocks
I got down to the corner
I got in and told him where
I told him "take me home "
"I'll let you know when we are there"
He asked me which direction
I said for him to head out west
Then I asked him for a favour
I pulled a cd from my vest
I said "can you please play this"
"I'll give directions on the way"
"If you do, I'll pay you double"
There was nothing he could say...

My day gets started early
I am up before the dawn
I do yardwork for a living
I get up to cut the lawn

Each morning brings another
Job that must be done
I've got just so many hours
I'm racing barefoot with the sun

They say that Time is Money
And I am always overdrawn
I wake up for work each morning
I blink twice, my day is gone
The only ending to my problem
Is when the snow begins to blow
That's when everything lies dormant
Waiting for the spring to grow

The trees drop leaves like crazy
An orange carpet all around
I have to mulch their golden cover
I can't just leave it on the ground

I fertilize and aerate
I trim the hedges by the drive
I pull the weeds there in the garden
I help to make your plants survive

They say that Time is Money
And I am always overdrawn
I wake up for work each morning
I blink twice, my day is gone
The only ending to my problem
Is when the snow begins to blow
That's when everything lies dormant
Waiting for the spring to grow

It's not a job for many
In fact it's not a job for most
Each year we hire newbies
And in three weeks most are toast

I wake up every morning
Hit the floor, I'm on the run
This ain't the job for many
But for me, it is the one.

They say that Time is Money
And I am always overdrawn
I wake up for work each morning
I blink twice, my day is gone
The only ending to my problem
Is when the snow begins to blow
That's when everything lies dormant
Waiting for the spring to grow

The fear I have on Christmas Eve
Is one most have, I do believe
They tell my truth and don't decieve
Of visits from three spirits

Christmas future, present, past
Come for a night and do not last
It takes three hours and goes by fast
But, they are not the one I fear

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

Spirits three are set to come
the first to arrive at the stroke of one
It won't be long till the night is done
I don't know why they came to me

Nightmares and visions while I'm sleeping
From spirits who do not come creeping
I lie here hidden, softly weeping
It happens every Christmas Eve

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

My past is fine and present too
I know I'm fine, so how are you?
The past is old, holds nothing new
It's the future that needs changing

Three spirits come and three will go
The winds come too and they sure blow
My room is always full of snow
I just wish they'd shut the window

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

I wake up early Christmas Day
What I saw last night, I cannot say
I'll do my best and change I may
But, if  not....they'll be back next Christmas.

If you want to **** yourself
There's lots of ways to go
You can do it really quick
Or you can do it slow

If you want to hang yourself
The knot will hold, you hope
The pressure is all on the knot
You best have a strong rope

You can always shoot yourself
Cut your wrists, but I confess
These ways aren't too pleasant
And they leave a nasty mess

Pills are not the best way
Too much time to save your life
The best way that I've ever found
Is to get yourself a wife

Suicide through marriage
I think that's the way to die
I mean, you're gonna pass on anyway
No matter how you try

So, suicide through marriage
Takes some time, but in the end
You'll end up dying anyway
And live your life with your best friend

We're singing songs
and making music
every single night
Singing songs
and playing music
Until we get it right

Working hard
to fill the silence
Singing just for you
Learning songs
You want to hear
We do it just for you

Spending time away from home
On the road we go
Setting up in different towns
To do another show
Sacrificing along the way
To do this all for you
On the road we go again
To do another show that's new

Playing bars
and different clubs
In towns and cities too
Places that
We only see
From the stage in front of you

Puppets on a
wooden stage
to a room that's almost filled
Pulling songs
Out of a hat
And leaving you all thrilled

Spending time away from home
On the road we go
Setting up in different towns
To do another show
Sacrificing along the way
To do this all for you
On the road we go again
To do another show that's new

Lunch was done, decisons made

the table cleared, the bill was paid

Final words were spoken

And none more truer than..

Have your people call my people

And we'll do this again.

They went back to the office

And they thought, hey he was right

I'll have my people call his people

And we'll hit the bar tonight

Funny how a line like that

Can set one's mindset soaring

Sitting down and making plans

It sure broke up the boring

Afteroon ahead, that each of them could see

But going out again that night

Well, then they would be free

Wives at home, while they were out

Drinking, flirting...what the hey

The ony question left now

Was which of them would pay?

But as one's folk called the others

And the plans were carved in stone

They would finish out their day

And then they would head home

They'd have "my people call your people"

And plan a meeting late

They would do it on the sly

It would be their watergate

But, people being people

Their plans were overheard

By a coniving young new intern

And she wrote down every word

Since she was one of the people

She started making calls

Phoning every number of every wife

This woman sure had *****

She told them how "the people"

planned to go out after work

How their family type duties

Each one had planned to shirk

So these people called their people

And made plans of their own

They would keep it all a secret

Until the men got home

Men forget that wives have people

And that their people kind of rule

When the men all try to hide stuff

By doing stuff that isn't cool

The men, all smug and smiling

Thinking of the fun to ahead

Would walk on in their house

And stay until the kids were all in bed

Then their people would start calling

Making sure the lie was told

About that late night meeting

At a bar where beer was cold

But, that coniving young new intern

Making calls to all the wives

Had laid out every detail

Had ruined all their lives

As each man sat for dinner

Thinking of what the night would bring

At each house, just 5 minutes in

Every phone would ring

It was her people calling people

Telling each wife where to meet

They would have to leave the husbands

And they would not be so discreet

For their people all called people

And the men's plans all were blown

As the women went out drinking

And left the men at home

So next time when your people

Call and plan things on the side

Make sure your intern isn't there

Or else your plans are fried

I'll have my people phone your people

And we'll get together soon

But in order that we pull it off

We'll have to leave at noon.

Have you ever smelled a colour?

It's as easy as can be

Just pick one out and sniff one

Close your eyes and you will see

Just think of what you're smelling

Be it orange, red or green

But, you have to keep your eyes closed

To experience the scene

Just try it...it's amazing

Pick a colour, take a sniff

It opens all your senses

All you do is take a whiff

Just close your eyes and do it

There....you'll find it in your mind

You will surely be excited

By the pictures you will find

Green will bring you gardens

Overflowing with their scent

It will bring back thoughts of camping

Setting up that ratty tent

Red...fruit and anger

Cherries freshly picked and cooked

It will also show emotions

Try again...I know you're hooked

Try and smell a colour

Smell blue and see the sea

Just close your eyes and sniff them

Then you'll see the things I see

Each sense has got a trigger

You may think I'm off my gourd

But...try and truly smell a colour

Close your eyes and come on board...

We've all seen old Santa Claus
On his sleigh of colours bright
He flies around the world in it
And he does it in one night
But, have you truly seen it
I mean, the colours on the sides
Have you ever really noticed
Santa's fancy ride

I've seen it in the shopping mall
Down here it's shining red
But, that's a store designers choice
It's a colour from their head
I've seen the sleigh in different hues
I've seen it all in green
It's never really all the same
Do you now see what I mean?

Certain countries of the world
Do not allow some hues
Some are just for royalty
And some are just bad news
A black sleigh, never seen the like
Santa wouldn't ride in that
It would just look like eight reindeer
Being chased by a big bat

Blues, and yellow, red and white
There's choices to be made
Depending upon where he is
It takes on a different shade
I prefer the red one
It's my favorite, I must say
But when you look at all the colours
There is fifty shades of ...sleigh!!!

Are today's young people troubled?

Is their hearing all impaired?

Do they think that thier loud music?

Will make some people scared?

I don't want to hear it

And I think that you'll agree

That their music sounds real ******

And I know it's not just me

They sit inside their cars alone

Playing sound  bites at full bore

If it gives me **** headache

Then they must be quite sore

The bass just shakes my bladder

The treble hurts my teeth

It peels the skin back on my skull

So you can see what's underneath

If I wanted to hear their music

I'd ask them for a ride

But intstead of going with them

I think I'd rather hide

Today, while waiting at the lights

A car pulled even with my front

His music shook my windows

The kid looked like a runt

I couldn't hear my wife at all

She was just two feet away

But, I wouldn't let this twerp fiends noise

Destroy my perfect day

I yelled at him profusely

I had tourettes of my left hand

I flipped him off eleven times

While he listened to his band

He smiled and turned it louder

Just to show he didn't care

Then he smugly, turned away from me

Just like  I wasn't there

I thought about how vengeance

Is something best served cold

And I thought I'll teach this *******

I'm not that ****** old

So, as he increased his volume

His hip hop shook my glass

I fired back with Mel Torme'

That sure put him on his ***

He cranked it up again some

And this song hurt my liver

But, I left him sittling stone faced

When I hit him with Moon River

I don't wan't to hear their music

And they do not want mine

And if they blow their ear drums

To me...that would be fine.