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Maria Mitea Jun 7
We met on a University hill,
when eyesight
for sky's eminence,
and you served your
spirit of excellence.

Wearing jeans and turtle-top,
upraised head and safe high heels,
fairy dreams and wishful hearts,
venturing the odd.

I remember one night
you thought me
how to drink beer
on a Unversity hill, later
it was hard to walk
and the golden watch fell
on the ground
"There is nothing to be found
in a bottle of beer my dear"
I wanted to die,
on a University hill,
I did.

Wake up in hell,
with my mouth and tongue
hanging on a toilet roll,
embarrassed guts by the
scratched golden watch
telling that I have  
a geometry class
on a University hill
and the great professor
was waiting for me
venturing into bizarre
geometry ...
Tony Tweedy May 18
I have had a little problem for the last four days or so,
of when I go into the toilet I just can't seem to go.

I get myself all seated just as comfortable as I can,
try to make quite certain I am centred on the pan.

I wait for things to happen but nothing seems to start,
no motions seem to occur not even some hint that I might ****.

I decide to try and push it and build pressure by holding breath,
but all that seems to do is put me close to suffocated death.

I grunt and squeak and gasp until an ear popped gasket blows,
all I end up doing is going red and blowing bubbles with my nose.

I tried a change of diet and drank gallon upon gallon of fruit juice,
but still there seems no evidence that anything is coming loose.

I have tried a change of position with my knees against my chin,
but I found it really awkward and ended up falling in.

My belly has gotten very large and feels as tight as a drum,
so much so I contemplate if you can use a crowbar on your ***.

I am sure outside the toilet they are hearing more than mere moans,
Looks I get quite often suggests surprise I've still got any bones.

I know that sometime eventually this thing will have to pass,
I just hope that when it does I can still use paper on my **.
Its true... I'm full of *hit
ah.... the beauty of poetry...
annh May 1
‘First, the toilet paper panic.
Then a cleaning frenzy,
followed by a baking bonanza.
Now, slow-cooked casseroles
seem to be on the menu.
It's like the seven stages of grief,
…in groceries.’

Economists aren’t generally known for their ability to sustain a metaphor. Woolworth’s CEO Brad Banducci - the exception to the rule - watched the mood of Australians change during the COVID-19 outbreak through the prism of their shopping choices.

You never realize
what you have

until it's gone.

Toilet Paper
is a good example.

Poetic T Apr 10
Life at this moment you cant be bullshitting
me. There isn't an April fools that's getting
even close to what we find ourselves hitting
any where near to this.  it's so unfitting.

But no matter the **** hitting the fan,  I haven't got
any bog roll. I can only poo outside before I'm caught.
But leaves are natures wipes and I'm dammed if aught
I'll sleep with skids on my sheets, but if I do I'll just smile.

But underneath I gag as the sweet corn is natures reminder
to wipe before, as they feel like coffee not  put through the grinder.
I feel like crap my legs woefully tanned, not because of the sun,
crap skidding my legs,  as if you lift the sheets its a gross viewfinder.
Some guy eats a ****** bat
do dah do dah
All I say is "fancy that"
all the do dah day
keep your distance, give me space
do dah do dah
remember do not touch your face
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

keep your groupings under ten,
do dah do day
that goes for women and for men
all the do dah day
stay inside and don't go out
do dah do dah
the virus is all round about
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

toilet paper's hard to find
do dah do dah
some folks have just lost their mind
all the do dah day
buying everything in sight
do dah do dah
i've got to say that isn't right
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
twash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.

if we all play by the rules
do dah do dah
and quit acting like ****** fools
all the do dah day
this will pass i promise you
do dah do dah
do what the doctors tell you to
all the do dah day

wash your hands all night
wash your hands all day
wash your hands and wash them right
and you wil be ok.
Bhill Mar 17
suddenly, and with incredible momentum, times changed
evidence of the past was soon to be forgotten
oceans evolved into landmass
rivers flowed uphill creating waterupfalls
mountains eroded in reverse gaining magnitude and significance
Toilet paper turned into sand
what is the reason
will this paradox ever be solved
it happened, can it reverse back
oh wait, that's what a paradox is

Brian Hill - 2020 # 77
Will it?
Carlo C Gomez Mar 17
We sure are living
in different times

All of the sudden
things have switched

Last night my neighbor's yard
was littered with one dollar bills

And just now
my wife and I
received a roll of toilet paper
as a gift for our anniversary
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