I saw a myth destroyed
Actually, I saw it demolished
Stomped on, crushed
and totally abolished

We've all heard that
you look slimmer in black
Nope...big, fat lie
One myth is taken back

I went to a funeral
And the myth died
and joined the corpse
where it lied

Short, dumpy women
looking like dried out  asphalt,
with matching wedge heels
crying and wandering about

hair colour from bottles
dressed as lumps of coal
the black dress, it hid nothing
like that 13th stomach roll

little round faced women
crying little round faced tears
in hockey puck like dresses
they all went and bought at Sears

there were blondes and
there were red heads
flaming briquettes...all there
to bury a myth with the dead

some, and by some...I mean few
dressed in black...looked nice
but the myth that black is slimming
you can put that one on ice