Help me,
She said
What were you wearing?
They asked.
What do you mean?
I need your help!
I bet you wanted it.
You shouldn't have dressed like you did
It's your fault.

When did the words *help me
Get lost in translation?
Those two words turn into
Why should I help you?
When they should be,
I'm so sorry
How can I help?
I guess I will never understand.

Politics
At least that what they call it
I call it lies.
I call it The Cold War
The Holocaust
The war between the states.

I'm here to help you
At least that's what they say
But all I hear
Are all the broken families
Cries of children that haven't eaten
The graduate that is jobless and depressed

I want to be your next president
But from all of their mouths,
All I hear is
I'm here for my own gain.
That's all I hear
From every **** politician.

All the words he never said
Were written in the stars
Look at me,
They seemed to say.
I'm still here
Let me guide you through the night

All the nights we used to spend
Outside the garage.
His favorite constellations embedded in my mind.
Orion the Hunter.
It would never get old.
I was an image of my father,
And together we could stare at the stars all night long.

So people always ask me
Why I am fascinated with the stars
Why at nights I look up at the sky and smile
And I tell them,
He used to admire the stars as I do,
But now,
He is up there.
He is guiding me throughout this life.
My dad is my favorite constellation.

I pushed him away
Because I was scared
I pushed him away
Because he looked at me like a man should
I pushed him away
Because he listened to my every word
I pushed him away
Because he liked me

But most of all
I pushed him away
Because he was the perfect guy for me.

As a lost little bird
I can confidently say
That being alone in this nest
Is a terrifying ordeal.
My mother taught me how to fly,
But I'm afraid to jump.
Will I hit the asphalt?
Or will I find success?
I could live out my life
In this tiny little nest.
It is comfortable,
And I enjoy being here.
Or I could jump.
I could find out if I can fly.
But this could also be the day I die.

It just doesn't feel right.
The weather is rainy
And I'm huddled in my feathers.
Do I still have a chance to jump
If everything feels wrong?

Maybe the only thing
My heart can feel
Is nervousness

I guess I never noticed
The loneliness in her eyes
A burning blue fire
That burned her insides
Is there anything to save her?
Maybe,
But it's up to her to decide.
Does she want to live,
Or does she want to die?

Fallen from grace
An angel wakes up in a field
Questioning its origin
Who am I?
She finds the road
And meets some nice people
Who weren't so very nice.
Battered and bruised
On the side of the road
She decides who she wants to be.

**I will be the STRONG
I will never again be weak.
Although I cannot remember my past,
My future will be great.
If anyone shall try to beat me,
I shall **** them where they stand.
Because I am no longer filled with light,
In this dark, decrepit land.

I tried walking in the light
But I couldn't see.
The blinding light clouded my judgment
Everything shined
Everything was perfect.

I tried walking in the shadows
So that I could see.
In the darkness, my vision cleared
I could see dullness in others faces
The fake facade of all my favorite places
Everything was dark
Nothing is perfect.

They tell me not to define myself by
My height
My weight
My skin color
The color of my eyes
The state of my clothing
The money in my pockets

But how am I supposed to love
Everything on my insides
When everyone else defines me
By what they see?

You told me not to go back
Alas I did not listen.
Into the past I went
Both fears and bad memories
Staring at me in the face.
Things I'd wish I'd never seen
Heard-
Or felt.
They want me to stay.

Forbidden to leave
And lost in the past
I should have listened to you
I shouldn't have gone back.

See that bed?
That's where he had his heart attack
When my dad was alive.

See that hospital?
That's where he was
When my dad was alive.

See those chairs?
We sat there waiting
When my dad was alive.

See those double doors?
I walked through those
When my dad was alive.

See that fountain?
I used to see it everyday
When my dad was alive.

See that cafeteria booth?
That's where me and my family ate
When my dad was alive.

See that nurse?
I think she might recognize me from
When my dad was alive.

See that couch?
That's where I sat
When I learned
That my dad had died.

Toxic lies
Coming out of your mouth
Your toxic love
Covering me in faux happiness
The toxic substances
I've had to consume
To get your toxic personality
Out of my head

Throughout my life,
All the adults would tell me-
Follow your heart
Follow your dreams

But what I really wanted to hear was
**You know what, Megan?
Forget about following,
How about you lead?

I followed you to the river
Because you promised to keep me afloat.
We stopped at the deepest point
And you let me go
And I was sinking
Sinking
And I was drowning
Drowning
The last thing I saw
Was your face looking at me
Through the ripples in the water.

Step into the light,
They said.
Open the blinds,
And maybe you'll find your way.
The sun shall guide you
To wherever you need to be,
The happiness you've dreamed of
For all of eternity*

But my friend,
I replied.
The life in which I live,
I am satisfied.
The moon guides me throughout the night,
And to be honest,
It is best if I stay out of the light.
The darkness has consumed me,
We have become one
In fact,
Now I can see better in the dark,
Than I can in the sun.

I walked away without a word more,
Into the darkness
In which I continued fighting my war.

Waiting on the beach
For the ship to come back.
Waiting for years
For a mythical life
The time I have waited
For your ship to return,
But you saw your way home
And I am in denial
You are never coming back

Food runs scarce
And fresh water is hard to find
I shall die before I realize,
I can make my own boat to survive.

Today-
Reminded me of the beautiful china
In my grandmother's house
Strong, shiny, beautiful
Worth a lot
But even the best observer
Couldn't see the chips in the glassware
The many times the china had been dropped
No one could actually tell that it was broken
But I could tell.
Because even though sometimes I looked
Strong, shiny, and beautiful,
I was broken as well.

Crashing waves
The steady wind
Chirping birds
The wind chimes on our old porch
Sounds of thunder rolling into our small town
The most beautiful noises I can think of.
These are the sounds I hear when I close my eyes.

One sound is missing however.
*I can no longer hear your voice

You started the spark
In my heart
But you never thought
It was a good idea
To put out the fire
So here I am
Left with no heart
Because you let it burn
Until there was nothing left

And the tower I built
Standing strong for many years
Went tumbling down
And I was falling
I was falling

Hit the ground broken and ******
I don't know how
To put myself back together
Pieces of my life strewn everywhere
Where do I begin?
*How do I rebuild my tower?

I crawled into a new life
When maybe I should have jumped
Slowly lowering myself
Into the icy depths
When I should have taken a dive
So now here I am
Frostbitten and cold
I did this to myself

You walked by and never saved me
Because I wasn't drowning
You saw me standing in the icy water
And just assumed that I was fine
But if I had just jumped
If I had only taken that dive,
Then maybe you would have seen me drowning
Maybe you would have tried to save me.

The way a candle dies amazes me
A strong tier of wax
Simple
With only a string within it
Dies slowly
As it gives off light
Melting wax
Drips and drips
Until all that's left is a puddle
It amazes me how
Something that gave off so much light
In times of darkness
Ended up finding itself
Sitting in the same darkness
It had tried so hard to enlighten.

Sitting in the dark
For how long?
I have no idea.
I have a plan.
Maybe if I sit here long enough
I can make time stretch out longer
I don't want another day to end
A kind of day that was meaningless
A routine
Being alive,
But not being "alive"
Been having those a lot.
Plaster a smile
Fake a laugh
Go home to be alone
Because alone is the best thing for me
Or so I think.

Maybe if I sit here long enough
I can make time stretch out longer
Maybe,
Just maybe,
Something might walk into my life tonight
And give my day meaning.

And she wrote
About the way the sky looked
At the end of the day
About the way the stars danced
When she looked at them through her telescope
About the poem she read
That made her cry
About the ocean
As it found its way to the shore
About the storm she witnessed
As it angrily shot out lightning
All beautiful things
All beautiful things

But most importantly,
She wrote about you.
About your kind eyes
And your soft smile
And the way you could talk to her
And the way you laughed
The way you would look at her
Like no one else did
You understood
All beautiful things
All beautiful things

Oh she had found the loveliest place
Where the sun shined
And the grass grew tall
People were friendly
She fit in well.
Oh she loved it
She loved it so.
But she couldn't connect
She made acquaintances
She never made friends
It didn't take long
For a place where
The sun shined
And the grass grew tall
Where people were friendly
Oh it didn't take long
It changed to a place
Where even the brightness of the moon
Couldn't brighten the shadows in her heart
Where the green grass grew
More than her happiness
Where all the friendly people
Couldn't even get her name.
Oh she couldn't care less
She couldn't care less.

But all the words she threw
To all the people she knew
Only got a reply one time
They might have well just said
*Goodbye

I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE
She screamed out,
No one in the void seemed to hear her.
I MISS YOU
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
Oh, but she knew
She knew.
There was someone out there listening.
But they didn't think the screams were important.
They didn't see her screams as what they were-
A cry for help.
CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?
PLEASE ANSWER*
Please...*
The shouts turned to whispers
The whispers turned to sobs.
Then,
Silence.

College is like being a bird
You jump out of the nest
You have two choices
You either fly
Or you die.

I decided to stop running
It was getting me no where
I'd run
And run
And I'd run some more.
All my strength went into this running
I felt that I'd eventually get to a place
Where I wouldn't have to run anymore.
It was so close
Just over that cliff.
I'd run
And run
And I'd run some more.
But I'd just keep falling.
No matter how much I ran,
How much time I put into it
I was in a constant state of free fall
I could never understand why.
Falling over and over again.
I ended up with bruises.
Not just physical
But emotional as well.
I just wouldn't stop
My happy ending was just over that cliff.
I'd run
And run
And I'd run some more
Until I was so broken that I just couldn't anymore.

I looked up to the sky
And realized
I had been trying to run up a mountain.
I have been beaten down
Broken
Only because I believed I could rush my happy ending
I tried to run up a steep mountain
And because of that I believed
That I would never achieve true happiness
I would never get over the cliff.
It is time I look at this mountain differently
Take a more meticulous approach.
Perhaps it's time I learn to climb
Slowly, but surely
I will hopefully make it to the top.
So I suppose now it is time
I'll climb
And climb
And I'll climb some more.
Because sometimes it takes a different approach
To achieve everything you've always dreamed of.

We should all look to the stars for advice
They know how to live.
Been sitting in the sky for so long
Shining for the world
Eventually dying in a beautiful explosion
That we on earth cannot comprehend
When a star dies,
It is never the end
A beautiful dwarf star can take its place
Beauty is neverending in space
So maybe we should take note-

Shine bright
Inspire others
Die beautifully

It really was always that simple.
Be happy.

You ruin me
You suffocate me
You alienate me
You taunt me
You tempt me
You devastate me
You cheat me
You anger me
You educate me
You challenge me
You change me

Life,
You have made me

It's easier it seems
To put on a mask
And hide my silent screams
Only a few have seen me without my mask
And eventually they stopped and asked,
Would you tell me your story?
It is easier in this place
Where no one knows of my face
Distorted throughout years of pain
This mask covers my past
I don't remember when I took it off last.
But here,
No one knows this is a mask
They think they see me.

I made it
I lost loves
But I made it
I lost my friends
But I made it
I lost my old life
But I made it
I lost my social abilities
But I made it
How does one make friends
When they make it
To college?

Time flies by,
But I feel like I'm standing still
There's a part of me that doesn't mind
The stressed part
That doesn't want to deal with anything.
Then there's the other part of me,
That wants to run with the time
Travel the world
And die when the time is right.
Time flies by,
And I don't want to stand still anymore.

You went on your fishing trip
Caught a big one this time,
You said.
This one's a bit heavy,
Weighed down.
With a sharp tug on the pole,
You finally retrieved your catch.
Well, what is it?,
You asked.
You held something in your hand
Pulsing and black.
Whatever it is,
It's not worth it.
You threw it back into the water,
Back into the dark depths.
Let's keep on fishing.
I wanna catch a big bass.

They say there's plenty of fish in the sea
But you didn't even notice,
When you caught my heart.
Sure,
It was beaten
Almost unrecognizable.
But it only took you a second,
To judge my darkness
As impairment,
And toss me back to a personal hell
You reeled in my heart,
And you didn't even know.

I'm sorry I can't be
**The catch of the day.

They tell you
To wish upon the stars
So you find one that falls
Close your eyes
And wish with all your might
But you never knew
The stars couldn't bring back the past
Or the dead
The stars can't ever get you what you want

They never tell you
That even the stars
Have their limits.

It was the summer of us.
Dumb decisions
We needed to learn from
Drunken nights
We barely remember
Life seemed simple
But the impending future
Glared at us with icy eyes
We tried to grasp every moment
Spend time with each other
Meaningless arguments
Deep discussions
Hidden loves
Because the fear of leaving
We knew no attraction would ever work
Some friends we have lost
We know the ending
We'll all lose touch eventually
What was the point behind all those years?
Fighting our way to the top
Only to be back on the bottom
The fear was deep within us
Make new friends
Make a new life
We were afraid to leave each other
Came to know each others tendencies
The most common phrase being
Let's make sure we keep in touch
We all know that's a lie.
Kisses behind barns
And parties in pastures
We know some will never leave this town
But we pretend to know our own futures
We all talk about out different paths
Our fears
Our hidden excitement
We really don't want to leave,
But we really really do.
Our goodbyes are coming
And we'll all cry when they do
But for now let's just pretend
We're all happy in our uncomplicated lives
Because we know our new lives begin
When we separate from each other
So let's be dumb
Stay up too late with some whiskey
Just talk about our fears
Because we are in the same boat
Live a little and have some flings
Let's make some bad decisions
Because this is our last summer
Before our lives begin,
And we want to remember it.

Tread lightly on this path
Walked a long road from depression
To almost happiness.
Why?
Why must you come and ruin it
You've thrown boulders
Into my path
You've made me turn around
Heading back to the dark place.

My heart was a mountain
So glorious and mighty
Towering above the clouds
Majestic and beautiful-
At least
That's what it used to be.
The wind and the water
Came along one day
Began to weather and wear it down
Slowly my heart was diminishing
As it eroded
And traveled elsewhere.
No longer majestic
No longer mighty
My heart is now only a hill.

If you could tell me
That everything
Would be okay tomorrow,
Maybe I'd believe you.
Maybe for once,
I could pretend
That the future held hope.
So please
Tell me all your hopes and dreams
So that I may dream, too.

It was always kind of sad.
She had a traveling spirit
Dreaming of adventure
Of far away lands
All the memories
She wished to make
But she could never leave
Maybe one day,
She kept telling herself
But that one day kept getting further away
There were too many distractions
Too many things strapped to her back
Making her body too weighed down
To let even her heart wander

All those friendly people
The smiling people in your life

The ones who hold you
When you need it.

The ones who listen
In your silence.

The ones who understand
Your outbursts of anger

The ones who realize the meaning
Of your absence.

These are the people
You need in your life.

But don't forget,
Give it all back.
Be the same person they were to you
Remember,
Behind every great person
There is a great shadow.
This shadow grows every moment.
Give back,
Give sunlight to their lives
As they have done for you.

Here's to a new beginning.
Pasts don't matter
Become who you want to be
Leave it all behind
Go live your life
Go find happiness
But don't forget
Happiness doesn't come from success,
It comes from you.

Oh life
Is a beautiful, devastating mess
In a wonderful, insane world
With terrible, lovely people
With deadly, lively personalities

Because our lives
Can't be described by one word.
We are too complex
We, humans,
Are amazing and awful
All at once.

Yes
I'm lost in my head
It's not that hard really
With the labyrinth in my brain
A left turn sends me to disaster
Go to the right and I find insanity
Around the bend I just might find
That happiness I lost four years ago
I'm going in circles
But I don't regret getting lost.
If I'd never strayed from the straight path,
I would never have understood
The beauty and horrors of life
I would never have known risk
I would not know what it's like
To be alive.

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough
To keep you from falling down
But how can you expect me
To hold you up
When I can barely hold myself up
At the edge of this cliff

An empty chair
In the center of a dark room
Filled with tormented souls
Thinking of the ******
The lost
The forgotten.
The empty chair
There to remind them
Of all their loss
All of their grief
An empty chair
That used to be occupied
In a bright room
Filled with lively souls
Thinking of futures
Of universes
Of stars
An empty chair that once held hope.

In all my life
The suns rays
Never broke through
The thundering storm clouds

I looked in the magazines
And saw beauty.
So I changed myself
So the world would think I'm pretty
Because I thought everyone found me ugly.

But then I looked in the mirror
And I realized
It was me
Who didn't think I was beautiful
It was me
Who needed to accept myself.

This is the end of the childhood road
Wish I could turn around
But they say I can't
Why would I want to anyways?
*** holes and collapsed bridges-
Behind me.
Ahead of me-
A freshly paved road.
I want to go back though
Fill up those *** holes
Rebuild the collapsed bridges-
But it's too late.
It's already too late.
Why do I dread this road ahead?