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Feb 16 · 76
Cold, Bleak Nights
Megan H Feb 16
The best nights of my life
Have been on cold, bleak nights-
My breath a cloud of smoke
And my face numb.
The nights when the stars and moon
Would look down upon me
As I laughed and danced for them.
I could never feel my body,
But my soul was alive.
On those nights,
I never felt alone-
Wrapped around a lover
Or laughing with a friend.
The sounds of silence never unnerving-
Because how could it truly be silent
When the stars wove such beautiful tales?
I miss those cold, bleak nights. Feeling a bit wistful this evening.
Jan 19 · 175
Megan H Jan 19
I broke my own heart
Trying to be enough for you
And always falling short.
Jan 5 · 422
How a Heart Breaks
Megan H Jan 5
I used to believe
A heart broke quickly.
A strayed lover,
A punch to the gut,
A truth revealed-

But it is not like that really.

A heart breaks slowly.
It bruises and strains
With each added hurt
With every small fight.
Little fractures begin to form
With every feeling of being unwanted
And every time he makes you cry.
Pieces begin to fall away
When he stops coming home
And starts sleeping on the couch.
The pieces get larger
When he stops touching you
And his actions no longer match his words.

When he breaks his promise
Of forever with you-
You realize you feel an emptiness inside.
A heart broken gradually
Until nothing is left behind.
Your only hope-
Is that maybe a small piece still remains
That you can rebuild from.

And you vow-
To protect it better next time.
Jan 3 · 827
The Shadow
Megan H Jan 3
There is a dark shadow
In the corner of my room.
I did not notice it at first,
But I think it has been there for months-
And growing-
And snuffing out the light.

I only realize its presence now-
As half of the room
Is shrouded in darkness.

It has become hard to see.
Dec 2022 · 1.3k
Megan H Dec 2022
Depression is like
Being on a sinking ship.
You see another boat
Out on the horizon,
But you are not sure
It will make it in time
To save you.
Nov 2022 · 271
Already Gone
Megan H Nov 2022
I lose
Bits and pieces
Of myself
Every night.

I only realize
When so much
Is already gone.
Oct 2022 · 359
Duality of Mental Health
Megan H Oct 2022
I feel too much.

I feel nothing at all.
Sep 2022 · 2.1k
Megan H Sep 2022
I have seen suns set
All over the world
And each time
I feel more alive
Than the last.
Aug 2022 · 465
Free of You
Megan H Aug 2022
You are etched on my bones
Ingrained in my soul
Locked in my mind
Still residing in my heart-
I cannot wash you
From my skin.

When will I be free of you?
Do I want to be?
Aug 2022 · 407
Black Veil
Megan H Aug 2022
I did not expect-
To mourn you.

It feels like you died.
Maybe you did.
Jul 2022 · 214
Late Night Thoughts
Megan H Jul 2022
Maybe I'm sad
Because I thought-
I was worth more
You treated me.
Maybe I deserved better.
Jul 2022 · 442
Numb (pt 2)
Megan H Jul 2022
Maybe one day
I won't
Go back for more.
Jul 2022 · 558
Numb (pt 1)
Megan H Jul 2022
If I'm not numb-
Do I go back for more?
Jul 2022 · 455
A Witch of the Night
Megan H Jul 2022
They ask me
Why I can't sleep.

Because I am a witch-
Wandering the night
Worshipping the moon and stars
Connecting with nature
And collecting my herbs.
Jun 2022 · 1.6k
Under a Moonlit Sky
Megan H Jun 2022
Have you ever danced
By yourself
Under a moonlit sky?
Completely out of your mind-
But the wind and birds and bugs
Create a background song
To life.
The grass under your feet
Makes you feel
Complete with nature.
And you dance-
You dance for the trees-
The stars-
And for yourself.

It truly is an experience.
Jun 2022 · 452
Megan H Jun 2022
You were the one
That taught me to
Love myself.

You were also the one
Who made me feel
Like I wasn't enough.
Jun 2022 · 216
Megan H Jun 2022
No matter how much love
I put into it-
It still fell apart
In my hands.
Nothing but ashes now.
Is it wishful thinking-
To hope for a phoenix?
Jun 2022 · 355
The End
Megan H Jun 2022
He said,
"It's not you, it's me."
And I agreed.
Feb 2022 · 584
Megan H Feb 2022
I keep the deadbolt unlocked
Just in case you come home.

You don't.
Nov 2021 · 429
How long?
Megan H Nov 2021
I cannot tell if
I am being brave
Or if I'm a coward
By choosing to stay.

How long before
Even the strongest soldier falls
In this war-
How long?
Sep 2021 · 255
The lost
Megan H Sep 2021
She looked everywhere-
For passion,
For whatever meaning to life-

And yet,
She lost who she was
In the journey
Of finding herself.
Aug 2021 · 212
Have a Little Faith
Megan H Aug 2021
Have a little faith
A little bit of strength
And before I know it-
I might be able to escape.

The faith doesn't come easy
And the weakness fights against me
But I rage against my shackles
And suddenly, I am free.
Now I just need to stay free.
Aug 2021 · 611
Break Free
Megan H Aug 2021
The metal chains clanking loudly
From her cage-
Where she has been imprisoned
In the darkness
All these years

She is trying to break free.
Aug 2021 · 170
To be a poet-
Megan H Aug 2021
To be a poet is more than-
Fancy words,
Stanzas and rhythms,
Or even an excellent metaphor.

I believe a true poet-
Is honest.
And I appreciate you all sharing a piece of your soul with me on this website every day. I will do the same in return.
Jul 2021 · 262
If only.
Megan H Jul 2021
How do you know when the journey is over?
When to say goodbye,
When to move on?
The complicated emotions I feel
Do not give me a clear answer.
The journey doesn't have to end?
If only.
If only.
Jul 2021 · 174
Where Do I Go?
Megan H Jul 2021
I am unsure of where to go.

I was always told
That life would show me the way,
And Frost told me-
To take the road less traveled.
But the roads do not seem clear to me.
Where do I go?
What do I do?
How do I find my way?
Adulthood is rough
Apr 2021 · 307
My Words
Megan H Apr 2021
My words,
Like a whisper,
The world drowning them with noise.
Written on paper instead-
Where they may live forever.
Apr 2021 · 331
Give It Back
Megan H Apr 2021
You took something from me-
I'm not sure what.

I've been frantically searching,
But I don't know what I'm looking for.

Something about me is missing,
And it's taken away my smile.

You took something from me-
And I'd like it back, please.
Apr 2021 · 600
How do I cope?
Megan H Apr 2021
I am disappearing.
The bingeing of alcohol and food-
The disorders and the late nights.
They are devouring who I am.

How to cope
With this devastating revelation-
When everything I want to do
Will eventually **** me?
Apr 2021 · 786
Megan H Apr 2021
I allow myself to be a sinking stone-
Settling in the bottom of the sea,
Encompassed in darkness.

I wait for a tide
To bring me to shore-
But it never comes.
Apr 2021 · 457
Megan H Apr 2021
In the search of something more-
Several doors I closed
Only to be left
Locked in a room on my own accord
All entrances blocked
Telling myself I will escape one day
Except I do not accept reality-
Destined to be isolated from the world.
Jan 2021 · 1.1k
Megan H Jan 2021
I never realized
How easy it could be
To lose yourself-

I stopped taking time for myself,
Gave myself to others,
Piece by piece.

Every time I put the puzzle back together,
Another piece was missing.
Or perhaps stolen.

One day I will no longer exist.
Oct 2020 · 384
I Trapped Myself Again
Megan H Oct 2020
The days get longer,
It seems,
With less and less excitement
Life becomes boring.

And the late nights cease,
To wake up for the early sun,
For another long day.
It never really seems to end.

Here I am-
Trapped in a cycle
Of my own unhappiness.
Where I torture myself.
Sep 2020 · 377
Megan H Sep 2020
We use our pens and pencils
As a way to fight the injustices of this world-
It is our biggest weapon.

People will read,
They will understand,
But they will not do.

I will write,
Because I understand,
Because it is the only thing I can do.

What else can I do-
When high society plans against us?
Pitting us against each other.

They watch us fight
They watch us suffer.
As they sit upon their thrones.

To my friends-
Please read,
Please write,
Please fight.

We need to count on each other to win this war.
Aug 2020 · 306
Megan H Aug 2020
Tell me-
What happens when you cage a wild animal?
Does it forget what it is meant to be?

Does it forget to hunt,
And gather food,
And search for its prey?

Does it forget that it is no longer free,
That it can no longer reach-
Past the glass enclosure?

Does it forget its instincts,
Its defense mechanisms,
How it protects itself?

Does it forget the family it once had,
Its home,
Where safety came easily?

Tell me-
What happens when you cage a living being?
It forgets what it is meant to be.
I'm sure we have all been feeling like caged animals lately with the coronavirus. Also, actual people in cages is a problem in the US right now, so there's that too.
Jul 2020 · 278
I Needed to Write This
Megan H Jul 2020
I needed to write this poem-
It's what I do when I'm lost,
Trapped by my own mind.
I blame others for my prison,
But it is I who locked the door.

I needed to write this poem-
What happened to who I was?
The freedom, the youth.
I am still very young
But they tell me I should grow up.

I needed to write this poem-
Because I saw how happy I was,
Dancing with my toes in the sand.
I've replaced it with a nice, quiet life.
If only my past and present could collide.

I needed to write this poem-
To remind myself not to put blame.
I am happy.
And there are many forms of happiness.
If only I could taste them all.

I needed to write this poem-
Even if no one knows what it's about.
Because that isn't what matters.
I needed to purge my bad thoughts-
Before they get locked away again.
I guess you can't have it all.
Jun 2020 · 305
Megan H Jun 2020
Welcome to my island.
It is my home-
Where I've separated myself
From those I've known.

Be careful not to drown in the waters,
Or get eaten by the sharks-
Better to stay close to the shore,
Like I've done to protect my heart.

You can build me a boat,
But I cannot promise I'll leave-
I've lived here too long,
Lost out here in the sea.
Jun 2020 · 341
The Journey
Megan H Jun 2020
She started off-
As they all do,
Following the path,
As told by her elders.

She was told to find her purpose-
Her place in this world.
She began a journey,
Ready for the adventure.

She discovered the stars,
And danced in the moonlight.
She climbed many mountains,
And came face to face with a god.

She unearthed wonderful elixirs,
That allowed her to converse with many.
She became one with these people,
They helped her understand humanity.

She ran through the streets,
Of many foreign places,
For the adventure,
To meet so many new faces.

She needed to find her purpose,
Her one final stop.
But no one ever told her the truth.
There was no final stop.

She convinced herself the journey was over.
She fell in love with a wonderful man,
And got to work,
She assumed her purpose would come-

Some day.
And yet, the stars called to her.
And the music sang to her.
The mountains quaked for her.
The gods thundered for her.
And she yearned to see it all again.

The journey itself-
Was the purpose she had been looking for.

How does one return to the adventure?
Apr 2020 · 699
Megan H Apr 2020
Her dreams-
Were too loud
And when she was told to be quiet,
She listened.
Now she just sits in silence.
Apr 2020 · 680
The World Right Now
Megan H Apr 2020
We didn't realize how broken we were
Until they told us to be apart
Alone with only the home we have built.

The hospitals overflowing
Doctors deciding who lives and who dies
Some don't go because they can't afford to

There are those who can't pay rent
And those who can't buy basic necessities
The elderly, immunocompromised, and the poor

Significant others have realized that they love their person,
Or that they simply cannot be in the same room.
Online searches of divorce are rising

There are people who don't listen,
Don't take it too seriously.
Their mistake is killing grandparents.

And yet we still need to make money,
But some have lost their jobs.
And others are making minimum wage to be exposed.

This world is broken,
And the cracks are showing,
In this massive earthquake.

How long will this go on-
Humanity craves social interaction
And we deserve a world that works.
I live in Texas, and there is no way we have enough testing right now.
Feb 2020 · 269
The Sun
Megan H Feb 2020
The sun is never afraid to rise,
So why am I?
To shed my skin in a fiery blaze-
Like a phoenix opening her wings.
To become anew.

But the fear is always there.
A fear of future possibilities.
I hide in the dark,
Prowling in the moonlight,
Waiting for the sun to rise by itself.

But I need to become the sun.
I need to rise.
I need to try.
Or I risk living in the darkness forever.
Nov 2019 · 459
Megan H Nov 2019
Where are you going?

Are you making a home here,
Or will you explore the world?

Will you stay and tend the fire,
Or will you fly too close to the sun?

Do you wish to sit idly as time passes,
Or will you run with the bulls?

Is a life of no change what you want,
Or will you seek a great perhaps?

Were you meant for this life?
Were you not meant to be free?
Nov 2019 · 324
Megan H Nov 2019
Always put a smile on my face
Under every circumstance
These wonderful children
I've been blessed to be around
So much they've taught me
Mostly, love does not always need words.
I work with children with Autism, and they are honestly so amazing. Some of them are nonverbal but they show their love in some amazing ways!
Jun 2019 · 350
To My Creative Self-
Megan H Jun 2019
The music inside my head
Never goes away
Sometimes it's a lovely melody
Sometimes it's in disarray

I never quiet my mind
Because that is where she lives-
My creative self,
Her home for all these years.

But lately she has been silent,
And I do not know why.
I wonder if she's broken,
If she's still alive.

I miss her everday,
Every beautiful moment.
She's been with me forever,
My own special poet.

I hope she will return,
She made me feel alive.
To my creative self-
You don't need to hide.

I want to feel alive again,
Writing poem after poem
She had all the words for me,
She made my mind a home.
Sometimes you let life take control of you, and you forget to do what you love the most.
Apr 2019 · 918
Megan H Apr 2019
She never moved
She never lived
She never existed.

She could have had the world.
Apr 2019 · 381
My Lifeguard
Megan H Apr 2019
The current brings me in safely
As I was drowning
And although I was deep
In the crystal clear water,
The waves coax me back to shore
Where you wait for me-
Arms wide open.

My feet touch the sand
And I run to you
Because you make me forget
About the past
About the high tide
That almost killed me.
And I am safe.
Mar 2019 · 414
On My Own
Megan H Mar 2019
"Why don't you call?"
They ask,
Even though
Every time I do,
It's always something new.

I grew out of toxic behavior
I don't miss the screaming
And the emotional trauma.
She was always scheming.
And I believe in karma.

This life isn't easy.
I'd rather be alone.
But it's hard without-
A place to call home.
Feb 2019 · 667
Megan H Feb 2019
I remember the feeling.
Like I was getting rid
Of every foul thing inside me.
I would feel so-
But at the time
It was better than feeling everything.
And sometimes I would just lay there
And I would cry.
I was so ashamed
Of my bathroom coping mechanisms.
Brush my teeth
So the acid wouldn't make them yellow.
Appearances seemed to be important.
Had to be thin,
Had to be empty.

I didn't realize then
That I was wasting away
That there was another way
To purge my feelings.
But I know now.
I know now.

You saved me.
I have gone 2 years without my eating disorder! I'm a little fluffy now, but I'm proud.
Feb 2019 · 588
Rock Bottom
Megan H Feb 2019
I looked at the world around me,
I could see the future clearly,
So perfectly laid out.
I would be successful,
I wouldn't be alone.

I knew I had to jump,
Had to fall.
So I picked the deepest ocean I could find,
And I dove in
Thinking it would be easy to swim back up.

When I hit the rock bottom,
The last thing I saw-
Millions of people just like me,
Drowning and clawing towards the sky
For just one more feeling of life.

And even though we were together,
I had never felt more alone.
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