A vessel for water
hardened soil      
ceramic broken  
forever spoiled.  

But gather with care,
these grounded bits,
and paint upon them
as a soul canvas

You choose a sepia filter
To match your timeless visage
To match the clothes you've wandered into today
But it is not a selfie.

Your eyes pierce them through their iPhone screens
Your smile is casually not directed towards anyone in particular
Your outfit is recklessly on point
And it is not a selfie.

It is a punch in the gut
to everyone who has ever
said you are not good enough.
It is not a selfie.

The wings by your eyes will go out of style.
The dye in your hair will wash down the drain.
The clothes will wear out and you will take pictures again.

But you have fabricated a moment.
You are smiling towards yourself.
Slap your image onto every social media you know
Next to the supermodels and Kardashians and words of self hatred
This is the fulcrum with which you will lever the world.
This is not a selfie.

Every self defeating metaphor anyone has ever birthed
A mug of orange juice in a giant’s hand
Three tablespoons of soil that you will misidentify as dirt
A motif specific to the reader
The sound of a tree falling alone in a forest
A manual titled Insects in the Garden of Today: Pests & Benefactors
Three redwood seeds in a row without pause

Nobody was born today
But you picked up a cake anyway
for five dollars fifty plus tax

Now you're watching
Criminal Minds on a couch made for three
and eating it with your hands

It vaguely occurs to you that
you should be sharing it with someone
or at least put on some **** candles

You're not even hungry
you don't even need to fill a void
you did good today

You hardly even miss her anymore.
You haven't thought about it in weeks.
If you just slept you'd be fine in the morning.

You consider it all
examining the red velvet
stuck under your thumbnail

Maybe you're looking for
a file or a prison shank
sunk beneath the frosting

Or maybe you just need
to make this a Night
The Night of the Cake

It'll blend in
with the others
in a matter of time

But for a few weeks
you'll look back
and remember

you are a member
of those romanticized ranks
those plastic or terracotta statues

Tomorrow you will feed the dog.
And after work you will pick up groceries.
And after groceries you will pay your bills.

But tonight is the Night of Cake.
Tonight
you become a stereotype

An unforgiving consumer
with chocolate-stained hands.

It's like you jump out
Like high definition
Like they're all selfies

Some say it's only love if it never goes away,
Some say love changes by the hour, by the day.
Some say love's only real if it's shared,
Some say unrequited love is everywhere.

You all don't know what's fake and what's real.
You all don't know how Romeo and Juliet feel.
It is time for the self righteous bullcrap to be over.
Let's put love back in the hands of the lover.

I fell in love at a McDonald’s. I expected it to happen in an overpriced cafe or a fancy Italian restaurant, but it happened at a McDonald’s and it was love all the same.

We were on our way back from the beach. We went whale watching but the ocean could have been empty for all the fish we saw. We paid good money for a caricature of the two of us. The graphite image of a happy couple with our faces sat in the back seat of your car. It would be framed and put up. We went into the sea as deeply as we dared and laughed and screamed as the waves came and came and came.

We were driving home with bits of mountains and boulders stuck between our sandaled toes and that’s when you pulled into a McDonald’s.

You ordered a sandwich, 100% real beef, never frozen, and asked me what I wanted. I said I would have the same. 100% real beef. Never frozen. I hate spending time and money on that which can only be consumed. We sat down with our food underneath the fluorescent lights next to a Happy Meal kiosk and I decided that I was in love with you and it was love all the same.

We laugh upon this empty rock
We smile as we run our circles
Giggling rats
Lice swaying in unison to our meaningless song
The black ground heaves
with laughter
Let’s go waterski
above the empty sea
You’ll find me snorting and choking and twirling in a hailstorm

I should be thinking about you
but I am thinking
about inevitabilities.

Like how my dog's life will end before mine.
And how my heart isn't even beating half the time.

Maybe it would be better to relax our grip.
take our eyes from the sky
feel the string slip

There's biology and there's sociology and there's
plenty
of other people out there, man.

and

We'll pop
either way
or deflate
someday.

"Has it not never occurred to you," he said, eyes rolling like dice,
"The grab to bake cannot be left undone?
The neck to slip will save the top of leg?
When they lift we ****** the rotten *****?
Six trots can win the flat softball netting?
Lost rocks find tabs undone by the grandpas?
It's like unbecomingphilomancy!"

You know what I mean?

There was a
girl, girl
dyed her
hair, hair
got
red, red
got every-
where.

Her hair
bled, bled
down the
drain, drain
clogged
up, up
the red came
again.

She tried to
keep, keep
her passion
tame, tame
the
beast, beast,
who always
stained.

But after many
nights, nights
spent al-
one, one
drove her
out, out
of her
home.

She followed
him, him
and his white
shirt, shirt
got red
quick, quick
-ly he was
hurt.

She tried to
flee, flee
so he could
live, live
a happy
life, life
without
strife.

but,

The man
smiled, smiled
a pinkish
grin, grin
-ning because his
hair, hair
was her's
twin, twin
hair was
blue, blue
like the
sea, see
his hair runs
too,
and
two
plus one makes a purple
family.

We're two one-sided cardboard pieces
Segments of a cloudy sky
It looks like we would fit together
But we won't
But we try.
But we try.

Each elbow edges back a bit
hands grasp the chair arm
Carbon levels in the atmosphere plummet as populations hold their breath in
anticipation

She moves with several smooth staccato shifts
Her hair swings like a tsunami wave
I try not to wave back.

I’ve seen piano keys with jerkier movements.
I’ve felt the world shift before
but never so smoothly.

She starts to stand, in slow-mo though
Even gravity can’t keep its hands off her for very long.

Somehow she strides
She strides!
Under the weight of that greatness

And after all the malarkey
She finally leaves the ******* room.

The painful part is how he talks like me.

I've got buckets of hands
and they all want to be around you.

The average human body is about 65% water
When I see you my body is about 88% water

I'm satisfied with approximate rhymes.
Like to rain again.
Or to lie for eternity.
I'll say your name for years, that'll sound off too.

Bobbing your head to your favorite song
You lent me an earbud
White noise

The painful part is how he acts like me.

Or maybe it isn't him,
or you,
or me,
maybe it isn't anything at all.
Wouldn't that be terrifying?

Swinging ponytail
Clipboard, high heels, black shades, nails
The weave to end all

Now is the time to cut your hair short
play in the snow even if you'll get cold feet
Listen to live music
even if it’s bad music
because any art can make you fall in love with its creator
even if it only lasts two minutes.

Now is the time to become attached to people
even if they aren’t perfect for you
and unchain yourself from people
even if they are perfect for you

Because it is time for tomorrows
for realizing your hips and knees crack for a reason
for leaping off the giant’s shoulder
for running fast even though you’ll tire

for climbing to the top of the mountain
so you can see the stars

The stars could be flipped inside out and you could read the wrong part of the newspaper and you'd still laugh at your horoscope or cut it out and show it to someone you love

And everybody hates country music and everybody is sorta quiet when you first get to know them but opens up and is crazy once they get to know you

You might think someone's hot from across the room and if you end up marrying each other it's love at first sight and if he or she is a total **** it's just a coinkeydink

And everyone in the ******* world hates the word coinkeydink

Drinking coffee or tea and liking books doesn't make you a one of a kind human being any more than being able to hold your breath for a minute does

But I still love you because you are special,
just like everybody else.

We were totally solid.
You think we'd,
like,
go through a few stages or something?
before we went up in smoke.

Turtles in a river,
Mother and its kit.
Wood stove in a blizzard,
why don’t you google it?

Kayak tipping over,
Mittens newly knit.
Luckless little clovers,
why don’t you google it?

I’m staying inside today, if you please.
I’m staying inside today, leave me in peace.

Pebbles crunching softly,
Lantern left unlit.
Morning grass is frosty,
why don’t you google it?

Field’s cicada army,
Endless laughing fit.
Some song by McCartney,
why don’t you google it?

I’m staying inside today, if you please.
I’m staying inside today, leave me in peace.

Accidental ****-touch,
Waxy candle wick.
Silver greasy lug-nut
why don’t you google it?

Autumn always leaves
A mess for us to pick up.
Snow way we'll have time.

Times like these turn your mouth into a gullet
your frown into a scowl
your yawn into a howl

Times like these make drunks alcoholics
you scamper then you walk
you scream then you talk

These are glorious times, my dear
They turn our boredom
into your fear

She gives the gift of gab!

When her love snapped onto my back, like a rucksack to be worn
The old me died, a rambling man was born.

My words are playing a twisted game of Temple Run
The monkeys are her eyebrows, cocked like pistols, and we're playing Russian Roulette.

My words are emptiness and hot air and imagined shapes, yet not nearly as two-dimensional as constellations.

She's a phrase I just learned, and will incorrectly overuse.
She's a worm in my ear, impossible to lose.

She feels like two cups of tea at three in the morning.
She feels like assembling an RC car without reading the instruction manual.

And by God, those eyebrows.

I need her like rocks need water and snow needs the sun.
I want her like turtles want to fly and eagles want to run.

She's that feeling when rain comes down on an empty highway.
She's half a bottle of Elmer's glue I just dribbled onto my hands.

I miss her like broken bowls miss Cheerios and holey socks miss feet.
I miss her like diarrhea misses constipation.
I miss her like NBC misses viewers who have turned to online news sources.
I miss her like journalists miss exposés.
I miss her like polar bears miss ice caps.
I miss her like avalanches miss snowy peaks.
I miss her like Hiroshima survivors miss World War One.
I miss her like cities miss silence.

Mostly, I just miss the silence.

You need to re-think
Your fatal font choice mistake
Calibri? Really?

Two sailors navigate a turquoise sea
To stay afloat we made a brittle boat
The ship rides low: we’ve got buckets of glee.
It’s made from sails of laughter, planks of hope

The boldest storm can put away its thunder
Our rolling sails will last through coldest night
The stars will turn their icy orbs and wonder
How we manage to float along alright

But,

Green ocean waves themselves have turned cliche
And god, I keep on dreaming ‘bout that prow
My bottom-dwelling thoughts ruin the day
I want to wet my freezing feet somehow.

So,

I’ll sink the ship and dredge the empty sea
Because I'm so ******* thirsty.

You said you want a guy who loves to roll the dice
He might get a six, but mine has twenty sides.
Like Lucy in the Sky you won’t believe your eyes
Like Dory be surprised and forget the other guys

People aren’t something anybody can own but
I heard about a thing called inter-library loan
Run my fingers down your spine
and dog-ear the pages
Our story will be told for ages and ages

Just call me love,
‘cause all you need is me
Must be shortsighted ‘cause you are all I see.

I know no man’s an island,
But I’ve got a big peninsula
Step onto my deck
And maybe we can get molecular

I’m not part of your fandom
I just want to see the show
Got reasons to hold back
Let’s pretend we didn’t know

Call me fire, call me death
I’m a dragon named Smaug and this rap is my breath

I’m sweet and empty inside, if that’s what you’re after
I’ll open right up and you can call me candy rapper

Carpet to the wall
***** colors dancing shapes
Gosh my back is sore.

Who knows tomorrow?
Who cares about yesterday?
I love you today.

This poem is thumping like a boulder
at the bottom of a river
And last year’*****
is fighting static on the radio

We sat against the waves
all day yesterday
I still feel the rocking
That anti-movement

The best part of a meal is right when the food arrives
I’d rather stay hungry than be satisfied
to stop wanting
to stop chasing

I sleep on the ground
to be farther away from you

the whole time we were stock images
choreographed feelings
unrealistic props
and a well timed photographer

Now we’re stopping in yesterday’s parking lot
and today’***** has turned jarring.
They’ll be running our circles
long after we die.

I made a dozen
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
before my mother came home
and took the knife out of my hand

I’m running to you
like you’re a pint of Ben & Jerry's
and I'm lactose intolerant

It stays in my mind
like choking on medicine

It’s like that pregnant silence
when the waiter asks
“together or separate?”

It’s like driving up a mountain
or criticizing the lack of representation in a Hallmark movie
alone from my couch.

There’s nothing poetic about stalking you on twitter.
but it’s part of the story so here’s a stanza about it anyway.

[Pause for effect]

I hope next time we meet
you’ll ask me how I am
I’ll tell you I am super
and both of us will believe it
again

I hope one of us will smile and say
“0ne day”
and the other will notice the typo.

God might make poets,
but he can't make poetry.
How reassuring.

We're cruising along in your old off-beige '93 Ford Fiesta
The one with the great sound system
And I am miserable enough to drive us off a cliff

We crash backwards into the water,
Unbuckle each other's seatbelts,
Open our respective doors,
Grab each other,
And drown down there
Because we won't let go.

There was a child of poetry
Who was struck with no small calamity
The words ran away,
The poet they flayed,
Until came no small charity

The child met with a man
Who had a simple demand
the words go away,
if your passion you will pay,
And yes, I would say that the cart was put quite before the horse, I'm sure you would agree.

The only figures
you need to worry about
are found in textbooks

Boots 'n' ca-ts! 'n' boots 'n' ca-ts! 'n' boots 'n' ca-ts! 'n' boots 'n' ca-ts!

Boo boot ca-t boo-padoopa ca-ts, boo boot ca-t boo-padoopa ca-ts.

Boot chewy-skir-ts, boot chewy-skir-ts, boot chewy-skir-to-skir-to-to-to skir-ts.

Boo-ts, ca-ts boot-to-to-to ca-ts, boo-ts, ca-ts boot-to-to-to ca-ts,
boo-ts, ca-t ca-t to-to-to ca-t, boots ca-t ca-t to-to-to cat to-to-to

Book a took a cat, book a **** a took a ca-t, book a took a cat, book a **** a took a **** a took a...

Do you remember that one time we both just happened to stay up until 4:00 in the morning?
Or that time you tried to walk past me but our small talk got too big and we ended up sitting separated by four thousand miles and an electrical outlet?

Do you remember that one time when our elbows touched for almost a second at dinner, but neither of us said anything?
Or that time I felt like watching that TV show you love and accidentally left my door open and you felt like watching for awhile and punched my arm when I pointed out how a terrorist wouldn't be able to activate an atomic bomb
from
like
four thousand miles underground?

Do you remember how your voice shook with laughter when I told you I was flirting with you?
How it shook like a seismograph on the white cliffs of Dover,
How it shook like a tambourine
Like a dreidel
or a top?

Do you remember how the fire leapt and the mountains slammed and the thunder clapped more fervently than a bunch of liberals watching a mariachi band?
or has my imagination gotten the best of me once again?

Probably a bang?
We think it all exploded?
Probably a bang.

Long, long run
Deep green woods
Thunder claps
Darkness falls
I am
alone

I managed to lose
my golden ticket
kicked out of the factory
with my sticky chocolate digits

I don't wear a cape
that's black or red
and we both know if I did
it would get stuck on my head

My car doesn't fly
and would probably sink
it's actually my parents'
we can steal it if we're quick

I can't swing a sword
and I can't ride a horse
I'm not prince charming
maybe I can learn to ride a horse

I don't have a point
I am trying to make
I just hope you realize
truth is better than what's fake.

Thank you for the invitation.
It truly means a lot.
but see, there is an indication.
the stable has been locked.

I can't consider diving.
I'm already waterlogged.
it's best to not be trying.
best to remain uninvolved.

I'm definitely nobody's prince,
I hope I am not charming.
my heartstrings are already tangled
we both found your poems alarming.

But keep on wandering along, friend,
professing love to random poets.
I'm busy with my own happy end,
and you'll find yours, I know it.

If only you were chocolate
you could make my stomach ache
If only you were tea
you could burn my hands as they shake.

If only you were empty like the big old ocean
I could laugh: "There's nothing to see,"
a pleasant conclusion.

I am going to buy a billboard
in the middle of some city
Big white words on a ******* canvas:
"Stop romanticizing love."

City people in their white city shawls
holding their black city umbrellas
will stop and laugh or take a picture
City people will walk on by

I tried every piano key and
the door to your heart or soul or brain or
whatever, just won't open
One part of me wants to try my shoulder next

I'm going to start a support group out here
We'll play chess and read old newspapers
A circle of lovely, miserable silhouettes
Complaining about our animal instinct.

It is far easier this way.
It is easier to believe the stories.

We do not know just how wrong we are
But we are vaguely aware.

Someday I'll think back
forget your name for a sec.
Until then I will enjoy
Watching you dodge my gaze.

It's like using the same water bottle for years
five days a week
and filling it up one morning
to see it's sprung a leak

It's like laughing at the dealer
Smiling, "I'm all in!"
when you know the way the cards are dealt
there's no way you can win

It's that sharp old hill near Grandma's house
the driver speeds over to make the kids shout

It's the cow who can't help but walk up stairs
and needs a crane to get out of there

It's the waves of twenty-three thousand oceans
trickling to a stop
and all I can see in the entire world
is an astronomical dewdrop

You said hell would freeze right over
before you left me with a cold shoulder

I guess that's twice it has been proven
Hell is ice cold, completely frozen

The bottom of the mountain is waiting
at the top of the mountain
And home is just over that hill
If more hills are the home you know.

And you will celebrate your birthday this year and next year with the same faces in different places and every time you slow down a little bit.
Which does not necessarily mean you are close to the top.

I climbed up the church
I leapt off the steeple
I went through to Hell
Like other holy people

Sometimes chess
is a lot unlike love
because there are only six types of people
and half are good
and half are bad
and half can never go backwards

But sometimes chess
is exactly like love
in that it is far more fun to give up on winning
and make out
on top of the broken pieces

The art of the poet is showing.
Red hearts do not show a lot.
We can never improve without knowing
Which words work well and which do not.

So next time when words touch you,
Truly let the poet know.
If we 'like' and heedlessly rush through
Good poets will never grow.

Sometimes I get sick
or my legs feel dead
Sometimes I can't breathe
and I can't get ahead

But one run in a dozen
on a day like today,
the world says with each footfall,
relax it is okay.
relax it is okay.

You won't remember
Howevermany years on,
what she was wearing.

I'm pretty sure I read that if you put enough gaseous oxygen into someone's veins they'll die.
And every day for as long as I can remember I've needed the stuff
Although I've never been able to hold on to it for very long.
And I know in the end of Jaws a big tank of it exploded.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe you and I are one of those tanks.
The ones they keep in hospitals and submarines and other lonely places.

Concentrated emptiness.

Deadly,
Delicious,
Detonatable.