Gallivanting through the perilous previously undiscovered nonsensical cavern, I found myself in awe of the ridiculously unrealistic statuette of a great horned owl staring deeply into half eaten jar of peanut butter. I turned to my comrades only to discover that they had all vanished from their usual placement. Without batting an eye I reached out for the neglected jar of a friend of jelly and began devouring it. At that moment the owl began to hoot so loud the earth began rumbling. I set the delicious spread on the floor and the rumbling stopped, yet my gut was telling me something was amiss. Pulling out my unnecessary spectacles I gazed upon the once unrealistic hooting owl. It didn't take but just a second for me to realize the statuette was not made of stone but was a living creature drenched in an exuberant amount of super glue, so much so that it was rendered motionless, excluding the beak of course. I ran my fingers along the base where this magnificent bird sat. Through the dust I felt indentations which at first feel felt like nothing, but upon closer inspection it was clear that it was a message. Once found I became increasingly intrigued, and so removing my over sized magnifying glass, a sheet of paper, and my one of a kind all jade fountain pen I began deciphering the inscription. To my amazement it just happened to say one line of glory. It read "ababa ababa " now to the untrained eye that is just babble, but to me it meant so much more for I m fluent in Ababa. Years of exploration had finally paid off, I picked up the sad peanut butter, dipping my finger deep into the godly snack and then proceeded to shove it into the beak of the stiff bird. What happened next was so unexpected I nearly passed out from excitement. Regaining my composure I walked forward into the unearthed chamber filled with the only other thing more powerful than the jar of creamed nuts, tacos. In the middle of the room lay an unconscious yet beautiful woman. I came to her and spoke softly "ababa bab babaaaba" which is the preferred greeting of their culture. She arose swiftly, grabbed me in her arms and in a flash I was transformed and transported to a city high above the clouds. I looked down at my hands and only saw wings, looking outward towards the city seeing that I was now apart of the long lost Abab empire, filled with all things great. Tacos were on every corner meatballs grew from trees, the streets were paved in cheese and the houses of gold. Also, **** was considered a holy plant and smoking it blessed you. The only thing missing from this world was my love, it pained me to know I may never see her again. I took it upon myself, as an explorer, to find a way to bring her here. As I was flying through the city I heard a familiar voice coming from the largest and most extravagant house in the city. I flew in quickly and knocked on the twenty foot doors. A butler opened the door and was shocked "Where have you been my lord?" he stammered. Confused, I decided to ignore his question and search for the voice I had heard. I walked for what seemed forever down a dark yet cheery hallway until finally I had entered the throne room. Tears came to my eyes, which was weird because I had no clue owls even had tear ducts, sitting in a slightly smaller throne next to a larger one both made from peanut butter jars yet gold flaked sat my love. I grabbed her up into my now wings and asked how and why she was here. She leaned into me and hesitated then said "Wake up love, I told you eating that weird peanut butter was a bad idea". My eyes shot open only to see my comrades and love staring down at me with a concerned look. I stood up and told them what had happened. In a roar they all laughed and spoke in unison " This is why you don't lace your pb&j; with acid then smoke two blunts". I will never forget the day I turned into an owl even though it was just a dreamilucionation. THE END.
I wrote this about a year or so ago while bored at work. I asked my love to give me topics and she said peanut butter and owls.