A candle burns somewhere inside of me
And keeps its light despite the steady rain.
I wonder at its constance in the cold
That, flickering on occasion, never dies.
And through the dark a glow reaches my eyes
Like a distant sun; rising and fading

I wait for the sound of thunder fading–
This storm has so recklessly lived in me,
And with it’s biting wind, has stung my eyes.
Though only raging from within, the rain
And sky both fall and weep as daylight dies
But still the candle burns despite the cold

Larceners masked as lovers leave me cold;
Deceivers and thieves with faces fading,
Whose winter hands freeze when summer’s warmth dies–
Craving heat I cannot offer, watch me
Shiver. Each doubt descends like falling rain;
An infinite dance behind my closed eyes.

And the uncertain glow still meets my tired eyes
The blood in my veins boils while theirs stays cold
Those hands I once held and fell for like rain
Those flames for me perpetually fading
With their trails of dark smoke following me
Yet my sallow light persists, it never dies

The sky is drenched in black, the old sun dies
I watch it pale and sink before my eyes.
But it will resurrect again, like me
Each morning from the heavy sheets and cold
The flame will not go out, the darkness fading;
Fleeing from me like quickly passing rain

I stand with burdens heavy in the rain
Holding onto the light that never dies
Wishing to feel the hush of the storm fading
No saltwater stinging and staining my eyes
For once, to feel fire chase away the cold
A heat or heart that warms but does not burn me

.And sometimes the rain gets in my eyes
Sometimes light dies, and leaves me cold
Yet still the candle burns; No longer fading.

I am
A street without a name
A pictureless frame
A dull knife
A still life

I am
A question mark
A smothered spark
An unread book
A stolen look

I am
A blank page
An empty stage
A heavy sigh
A passer-by

I am
A ship with paper sails
A train on rusted rails
A flightless bird
A Dream Deferred

I am
An overcrowded mind
A word that hasn't been defined
A lighthouse that no longer stands
Two feet sinking in the sand.

I don’t know why
I keep expecting a name
And a message to glow
On the screen of my phone
When i know that
It will always be blank
And here I sit longing
To come to life
But all I feel is empty
Like this room
And my heart
A worn out space
With faded walls and
Cracked paint.

I am not Atlas
I cannot bear
The weight
Of the skies
That I am
Under

Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I have nothing to say
Behind these closed lips are thousands of stories,
Endless words, thoughts, emotions
Waiting to be summoned
But fear is the glue that keeps my mouth shut
And the words scrawled on these pages
Convey more than my hushed voice ever could.

Just because I smile, doesn’t mean that I’m content
Beneath this ill-fitting cloak of concealment
With all its plastic sincerity,
There is a girl with fragile dreams
And eyes brimming with fire
Thrown into a world where she suffocates
In the heat of human expectations.

Just because I am ignored, doesn’t mean I am transparent
Carelessly I am dismissed, overlooked
They don’t understand that, like them,
I have felt pain, sorrow and joy
I am alive
My heart beats as their’s do
But we are separated by invisible walls.

I am more than a flickering, nameless face
Whispered words, a vacant smile
I am not a long-forgotten book lying facedown on the shelf
I am an endless world below the barrier reefs
Of a vast, uncharted ocean
But no one ever dares to leave the shore
And break the surface.

How do you fix a heart that’s full
Of sadness?

Despite all the times it’s been emptied

From a bottle that’s overflowed,
No relief moves in to fill the space.

You grasp every flash of pain and

Each withering poisonous thought

Until that silent moment when

The sting is far too great

And it begins to rain again

Down the sides of your face.

A veil of glittering mist pours over the boundless sea.
The chilling breeze howls, blaring a haunting tune.
I gaze at the whitecaps tumbling, crashing endlessly.
Smooth silver sand on the shore shines beneath the moon.
Peaceful seagulls still murmur softly as they sleep,
While seashells dance to a silent song upon the ocean floor.
Dolphins frolic gracefully amid the navy deep.
The soothing sound of night, and the waves I can’t ignore.
A canopy of stars lights up the azure sky,
And the midnight blue water reflects their glow.
I close my eyes and listen and feel like I could fly.
But now sweet sleep is calling me, too tempting to say no.
Alone by the sea, not one thing do I lack,
The pull of the tide always keeps me coming back.

The Weary, they wander
Tempest-tossed
Onto my
Lonely shores,
Sailors with
Shipwrecked vessels,
Travelers grim with
Soles scraped sore

They seek to quell
Their solitude
Ill fated and alone,
And finding me
Beside the sea
Lamenting,
They postpone

I welcome them
With flames alight
Inside the hearth
Of my heart
Although I know
They never stay,
That soon they will
Depart

Every time that
One arrives
The feeling sprouts
Anew
He'll leave me
And I know it,
But there's nothing
I can do

I am Calypso, cursed
To long for love
That is unchanging
No solace rolls in
With the tide
The tempest, still,
Is raging.

It is with
These hands
That I have sealed
The chains
Upon my wrists
And in my fear
I quite lose sight
Of reasons to persist.

She was a child once.
Eyes wide and sparkling with hopes and dreams untarnished.
An entire future stretching out before her.
She saw the world through a kaleidoscope,
A beautiful mess of endless neon colors,
Untouched by darkness and disappointment.
Pain was temporary; A scraped knee, a paper-cut.
Band-aids could heal every injury.

Her smile was a permanent fixture of sincerity,
Radiating happiness. A gaze full of inquisitive wonder.
When she lay her head down at night,
Her chest was not heavy with worries and cares.
Her mind was not filled with the ghosts of her past.
Sleep came easily, a quilt of comforting warmth enveloping her,
Sweeping her away to the land of dreams.

Blissful in her ignorance she lived, unaware that one day,
The monsters under her bed would make a home inside her head.
That her heart would fracture and die.
That the world she had known was a lie.
She wasted all her wishes wanting to be older,
Age was overrated, but nobody told her.

At 8 she was so innocent, at 10 she was just fine,
13 was disillusionment, the start of her decline.
At 15 she was in High School, they told her, "be mature".  
Society screamed conformity, now she was insecure.
At 16 she was lonely, desperation took its hold.
Love slipped through her fingers like drops of liquid gold.
Now, at 17, she's stuck in a recession.
She thought the therapy had dispelled her depression.

She looks in the mirror and despises her reflection,
She is bent, bruised and broken, a mess of imperfection.
Past mistakes, her tormenters, they tear her apart.
Her body, a cage, imprisons her heart.
Each breath is a burden as she lay in bed.
She can't sleep at night, theres a war inside her head.

No one ever told her the price of growing older.
They never said she'd have
A crushing weight put on her shoulders.
Suffocating in this life, poisoned at her core,
Once she was a child,
A child she is no more.

My rib cage is
Collapsing;
All the butterflies
Inside me
Have died

I cry and care
Too much;
My heart
Is a thing
To be left
Untouched.

Sadness has eyes
That never stop leaking
And two lips that tremble
Whenever she's speaking.
Don't let her find
A tear in your heart,
Because if she does
You'll drown there in the dark

Fear has two hands
That fidget and shake
With a voice like knives she whispers
All the risks I shouldn't take.
She closes all the windows
And stands watch at the door
To make sure I'm not tempted
To go out and explore

Loneliness is shrouded
In a suffocating cloak
It's heaviness she often shares,
It smothers me like smoke.
She shivers, aching in the cold
With arms outstretched and yearning
For a love that never lingers
To leave a fire burning  

Happiness is fickle
She seldom comes to stay
Her light once filled my soul but now,
That glow has gone away.
With all these faces that I know
I tell myself I'm fine
But through the glass I see the truth:
Their faces mirror mine.

Embers glow red & orange
Inside a hearth of grey stone.
My eyes glitter in the darkness
As the flames crackle.
Warmth Surrounds me.

Sparks dance and begin to
Encircle me with dazzling
Firelight. I am hypnotized
By the shadows that are
Forming on my wall,
Flickering and morphing
Into strange shapes.

The comforting heat shields
Me from the bitter cold.
I Watch the blazing logs as the
Fierce flames engulf each stick
And twig within the fireplace.
Visions of the fiery colors are
Reflected on my glassy eyes.
FIRE!

You belong with someone
Who is built of stronger things
A heart that isn’t crushed
By the sad melodies it sings
But I am made of brittle bones
Of sinew torn and muscles weak
Of a mind that always fails to find
The words that I should speak

My shoulders will not bear the weight
Of your sorrows and mine
Without adding new fractures
To my already splintering spine
Your hands deserve to hold a heart
That warms you at your core
But holding mine will only leave you
Colder than before.

I am from the towering oak and pine trees
That sway on the old forest’s edge,
Coyotes howling in the shadows
A haunting lamentation

I am from the creaky stairs and floorboards
At the house on Liberty Street,
From the ancient gas heater and its tendrils of flame
That never seemed to be quite hot enough

I am from the sound of my father’s voice
Heavy with sleep as he whispers to us
A late night bedtime story,
Scaring away the monsters under our beds

I am from Sunday mornings
Bursting with rays of golden light and
Filtering through glimmering church windows
Lingering on familiar faces

I am from ‘make good choices’
'Be a peacemaker’
‘You are greatness’ and
‘Oiaue!’

I am from the scent of Mom’s cookies
Chocolate chip and butterscotch
Melting away winters and
Warming cold hearts

I am from acrylic paint,
Graphite, ink and canvas
From smudged hands, stained clothes,
And a sketchbook full of scribblings

I am from the crisp chill of autumn
In the mountains of Vermont,
Staring into a sea of stars
As dazzling sparks float skyward in the distance

I am from the cool sea breeze
And the salty mist over the water
Waves crashing fiercely in the haze
Of Newport’s rocky shores

I am from the quiet peace
That can only come from the words
“I love you” and the warm embrace
That often follows

I am from endless words
Written with shaking, ink-stained hands
On crumpled bone white paper
Hoping to be good enough to keep

I am from weak muscles and fragile bones
From hesitant first steps and training wheels
From stubborn no’s and penitent yes’s
From late nights and shadowy eyes

I am from the past
I am from the present
I am from the trembling, changing
Pathway to my future

I am from this house
This family and
This home

You can't escape a nightmare
When it lives inside of you
And you can't run from the shadows
When the darkness is yours too

You can't hide from the monsters
That chase and claw and tear
When you look into the mirror
The real monster is there

Behind the surface of your eyes
Inside your very head
The demons make themselves at home
And fill you up with dread

Nowhere to turn when daylight dims
Nor when the moonlight glows
No solace or escape to find
As the fear inside you grows

No warmth to be had when the cold sets in
No relief from the pouring rain
No end to the aching inside your heart
No release from the infinite pain

Trapped within a battered cage
Fashioned from flesh and bone
You desperately cling to the fragment of hope that
Maybe you aren't alone.