The sight of you
brings jazz
to my ears.

It's been a while.

And I don't give a ****.

Too much on my mind,

& I hope you are okay with it.

I think sometimes,
Too much sometimes,
That you will not love me
For being where I am.

And then I find,
too little sometimes,
That I am the one
who must love me now.

But she does this really well,
And that one already has the energy.
My comparison becomes your comparison,
In my mind.
Too often.

Where is this place,
Where I cannot see my own beauty?
My own gifts?
I question what I offer,
And then wonder.

He probably thinks I don't offer anything.
I need words, reassurance, validation.
Where is this place? When was this born?

Spirit, see me and hear me.
Meredith, see you and hear you.

Be Peace. Be Love. Be beauty.
Accept where you are,
And no one can compare you.
This representation is one with all,
Yet unique. Be your gifts and your heart.

From this being I conjure mysterious games
Like I can’t read your signs as I’m switching from lanes
I’m blinded, insulted, and completely confused
How could I ever let my good intentions feel used up and abused?
I’ve held out my hand, lent you my ears, even gave you a shoulder
My radiation was warm and open-hearted, but your heart kept getting colder
The closer I bring myself, the more often I am hurt
Expectations of a bond, has only brought my conscious to highly alert
Of your games you’ve been playing, and crushing my pride
For once just be selfless, just open up your eyes

this is my promise, my fear I will reveal
the act of love and *** alike is agony, I will conceal
no man, no woman, no soul I have made assurance
my dwelling and trembling sexuality and love have remained a horrible occurance
I want to love and kiss my love from mouth down to the waist
but years of loneliness and drunken embrace leaves me with limited taste
to glide my body across his sweaty chest
would rid me of my nervous mindset and lay my fear to rest
yet no man, no woman, no soul I have encountered with true admiration
this spirit I bare and have grown to like is stuck with a fierce aspiration
to **** this silly contemplation of whether to step forward or keep quiet
not allowing myself dual satisfaction for I mindlessly follow an unlawful diet.

The darkness upon your face is beautiful
while the world is vast; winding rivers take over the nightfall,
I think about your face during the night,
when the moon and owls sing; while I am the moon
Mountain peaks are covered with snow; the world turns endlessly
yet I am still a Gemini by birth; my thoughts are forever changing,
A semi-colon representing my thought process,
forever endless and a constant stream,
like rivers at the nightfall, of dissimilar mindsets.

Gentle fingertips, electrifying (Just)
the many nerve endings beneath
the Surface of my Skin.

Goosebumps chilling my spine
as kisses are feathers tracing my soul.
Light beings alongside wordless Language,
a dance between composers of a new Dawn.

Balance and fire, water meets wholeness,
Steam settling in the depths of coiled potential,
shifting and rising heartbeats are
patterned as the horizon of the Sun.

In the circle of what will be,
I am you, and you are me!

Some people are short, and others are tall,
Yet you are reflections of them all!

The great big stars that are in the sky,
Have the same twinkle that's in your eyes!

The dance of lightning, thunder, and pouring rain,
Are quite like your spirit's dance, maybe even your pain.

Our Sun that brings warmth, and shines its magnificent rays,
Is your beating heart, which will brighten everyone's day.

Mother Earth has a heart and lungs just like you,
So we must love her, And bless her,
For she will take care of you, too!

Birds can fly high, or sing in a tree,
And you will fly with them,
And sing as one family!

Snakes will hiss and slither ever so low,
But you can protect them, wherever you go!

Life on the planet, is life up in space,
All you must do is look within to find that magical place!

Now...

Not everyone knows how special they are,
Or how beautiful they seem,
So it's up to you to share your love,
And awaken them from their dream.

Perhaps there are moments when you will forget,
And will need a friend to help you remember,

Your brothers and sisters will light a fire,
And you can dance, sing, and cry
Until you smile before the ember!

With your eyes open wide,
And your heart filled with love,
Spirits will send you messages,
From below and above!

The mountains will cheer and rivers will flow,
When your walk is in truth
- the whole world will glow!

As you grow wiser,
And reflect on what you are shown,
In your heart, you will know,
That you are never really alone.

And in the circle of what will be,
I am you, and you are me.

Heaviness of broken spell,
your utterances intentionally equate.
Pull the blinds on top these eyes,
kept distant of this chosen slate.
Romance thrives on infrequent boundary
of spirit disguised as flesh.
Sorrow of this heart remains
for no other life does mesh.

Intellectual, perpetual and found
Evolving sun rises east, and stays a glistening round
Juicy flowing insides and a tightly wrapped exterior
God of Sun believes his belongings left inferior
Hair twisted sideways, and braided to the crown
The Sun God weeps because his people leave a frown
Maintaining inequality, hatred, and delusion
For most souls cannot relate to the hardship and confusion
Skies break neatly so their skin absorbs the Sun God’s Love
Beautiful minds keep faith for there is a life Above.

Haywire.
While sabotaging agencies are corrupting,
I lie frozen,
Downloading how to translate
this brainwash without constantly erupting!

Haywire,
United Suits of America,
drug-guzzling, anti-christ
injecting poison in the fruits.

Wake to terror, bleed from pain,
get pushed from mankind,
from our freedom fighters’
propensities to feign.

Frequencies being altered,
from 432 to 440,
Unaware of the subtle control
they have taken of our
***** of corti.

Receptors are jarred
our balance mistaken,
slowly these trails are weakened,
and souls must awaken!

Rhythms of nature
being projected on a screen,
too safe to go outside,
we have become rotting cans
of packed sardines.

I am numb and gushing.


I am gushing with numb -- herbs-- ***-- heaven.

There is no Heaven in this hole of Hell,
only souls oozing, under life's spell.

my heaven and herbs are bland,
I cannot be saved on this forsaken land.

Nestled between the covers
Are two stories unfolding,
Unraveling in the mystery of
How to detach from it.

The stories and memories,
Meshed together with an infinite tale.
A wordless story,
making its imprint on our flesh.
Bound, yet boundless
As birds that perch upon the edge of a wire.

Potential for motion,
A flight into a blanket of Love.
Shadows follow, for once cloaked
around our bare shoulders like a guide.

Mistaken as us, and comfortable
mistreating our views.
A grim reaper of our own Creation.
A once thoughtless prison, unshackled now
in warmth of our presence.

Recognizing a strand of
Familiarity, creating an endless
family from Kingdom to Kingdom.
We are not what we think,
And yet we think this into the now.

This creative moment of backwards
And forwards, as we sleep
A sweet lullaby
Of juxtaposition and paradox.
Mirrors are doorways
Into our Selves,
Onto a great pathway of
Questions that need no reply.

Voiceless songs and melodic silence,
Intertwining in the mix of
Magic and Absolute Truth.

Two strangers sit in the same room
hovering as they speak,
between eye contact with their souls intact
they reach an unimaginable peak,
kissing in a dream of love
they exist in two separate dimensions,
where the same words have been spoken
separately experiencing the same perceived invention.

Creaming leaves, dripping
off her spiderweb branches
as we eat dinner under the mustard sun,
I feel her nervous as I eat slowly, she glances
at my spiderweb branches and grabs my web.
She spins her prey in my web and moves it slowly
down, among her roots, where I feel gnarled and leafless.
My autumn colors have vanished in her winter
frozen stems, frozen in time, I stare into her
mustard reflected eyes.

Like morning shine, I creep through windows
And expose my internal rays
Am I to cure this heavy sadness,
Or remain blank in all of my ways?

Shall I heal the broken,
Words brand new with courage,
Or repeat those that have already been spoken?

Is the this job of plenty,
This journey that tramples my ears
Or a timeless piece of evidence,
That my life will see too many years?

Eight pounds of thorough *******
split between two brothers of Zaragoza, Spain
the love for substance has lost all of it's hope
time for family split between hours of dope
there was a newborn with wings, without a full day
because the love for substance stood directly in the way.

Melodies once created my identity,
an addiction-driven crisis mixed with anxiety and loneliness,
I longed for love yet my ears tuned into hardship.

Melodies once molded my identity,
a clean and pure existence mixed with clarity and acceptance,
I longed for love yet my ears tuned into freedom.

Melodies once saved my soul,
a newly-formed identity mixed with a fresh conscience and patched relations,
I live with love for now my ears are satisfied with my lover's melodies.

October brings me sap and dreams,
for tears are caramel on cheeks of cream.
The only sweetness to taste at night,
is the caramel sacrifice for my lover's delight.
Hardening to my heart-shaped face,
my heart's owner dwells without a trace.
Left wondering with my hardening tears,
is this love a reflection of earlier years?

Embracing the darkest night of my soul,
Whispering gentle devotions so the spirit takes control
I begin to cry while I have the world at my feet,
For the bland has scratched out deity with mere and harsh defeat
Overcome I crawl to wrap myself in wrinkled cotton warmth
Yet suddenly the window has burst open for omnipresence sets forth
Shackled once more, heavy chains baring me to ground
My omnipresence would fly freely with this darkness left unfound.

The crystal structures that shape

tears of Joy are not the same

as tears of Sorrow;

Peace glides gently through

veins of an uplifted Spirit, a corrected

perception! Virtuous

steps of shedding and unpacking,

ascending on ladders built from

everlasting arithmetics.

Driven consciously by the heart,

as the mind smiles and takes

a break from its usual dance.

No need for measure,

simply present within the

strands of silk,

strengthened by the agreement

to let it be.

night of truth, rainy september the twenty-third
truth of our movements spread out like wings of a bird
listening so closely from the noise heard so near
making sure each vowel was inhaled, loud and clear
to touch on this subject of struggles and previous
was all at once taken over by the success and the devious
two souls alike, seperated until rain
cast upon windy roads, spoken too little in vain
for the world does not exist without the five senses
the idea of this woman, cross imprinted on his hands as he clenches

Arrested and convicted of sabotage,
Madiba resists the Apartheid.
We live and rest in good company,
while counterparts seek new shelter to hide.
Time has elapsed, and man discusses these changes,
of the past that has rotted away, which builds upon our ignorance.
Do you not see the same in existence,
the backwards, in truth, which our skin folk arranges?
Rewind or fast forward, backwards will remain the truth,
I will remain Madiba, President of Belief.
Trusting enough minds with similar desires,
may place an unwarranted end to all others’ grief.

Swimming through a crowd of faces,
painted shades I witness unfolding.
We are but fingers on a hand, separate yet together,
Booker claimed this truth as a new era began molding.
Yet is this era really new; Are we to believe the past is past,
as I witness starvation, corrupt education, and abandoned dreams?
My kin folk inform and educate my evolving mind,
of hidden conceptions that my skin folk blatantly screams!
I am able to speak with my mother, knowing she is safe,
grateful that our family must not live in fear.
But why must some of us remain unused,
when our help is called for year after year?
Indira has communicated,
that you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
The fingers, which are part of the whole, clasp tightly,
for my skin folk, not my kin folk, are amidst.

There are racial issues, undoubtedly,
in the land of the free, home of the brave.
And all over the world it reigns,
you cannot be blind to it, that we have a modern slave.
This is not a physical destruction,
you will not witness it branding the skin.
But a mental and spiritual deterioration,
directed, and has infected,
most of my kin.

(scratched out the Ifs
concluded to end my day with spliff)


Raptured movement delay
scent of public transportation decay
the return of Christ in two stages.

If my apology had wings
It would fly through your heart,
And wisp away fears
Of us ever being apart.

If would dance on your head
And kiss your sweet smile,
And whisper to your ears
How you've caught me in denial.

I deny how I am,
and sometimes where I am,
Where I want to be,
And I still have a hard time with "I'm sorry"

But I am sorry,
I love you,
and I pray that you can forgive,
And may we walk our path together,
With you I want to always live.

I have no doubt,
That your sweet song,
Is the music for my ears,
Yet our conflicts make me wonder
If you want to share with me your years.

If my apology had lips,
It would brush against your cheeks,
And take the years of tearless fears,
and Remind us that we were never weak.

My apology is but just words
and Words can never tell,
Of the pain I caused and left you alone,
and explain the pain I felt as well.

I am sorry for not showing you
Just exactly what is felt,
But I want nothing more,
Than to love you and be held.

Mama, why does the spider spin its web?
Bright and silver above my head, she twirls her thread.

Baby, the spider is a teacher of yours,
She spins her thread when she sees an open door.
A door for her to enter in,
A door to seek a brand new spin.

She is scary, mama, and crawls all night,
How will I sleep if spider leaves me in a fright?
And why my door –
Couldn’t she go looking for more?

Ah, my child, but this spider is home,
Ask not me, but the spider, what you must be shown.
A spider knows where to cast her net,
And because of this, you mustn’t fret.

I see, but how can I ask her so?
I can ask her questions, but she wouldn’t know!
Talking to a wall, and watching her weave her thread,
She will have nothing to offer from her little head.

Baby, sweet baby, you’ve got it wrong,
And why towards this creature do you feel so strong?
A spider is what a spider will be,
A wise spirit and a blessing indeed!

If the spider is a blessing indeed,
Why does she show me her net where she catches her feed?
I do believe she is here to scare,
But I shall ask her why she’s in my hair.



Miss Spider,
Hello! And how do you do?
Could you tell me why you spin here,
Before you are through?

I figured you wouldn’t,
You can’t even talk!
Only sound that is heard
Is the ticking of my grandfather clock!


Mama, you told me to ask Miss Spider in the night,
Why she spins her thread at such a great height.
Yet she did not respond, and continued to stir,
Silent as the moonlight, her thought never even occurred.

My child, you must not ask and expect her to talk,
Especially as she spins her web, preparing to stalk!
For animals use language that is beyond our own word,
If you are patient and still, her message will be heard.

Mama, I trust you,
But Spider is gone!
Her silvery web is all that remains –
There was no trace of her at dawn.

Ah, but the magic lies within her thread,
She uses her silk so her stories are spread.
Watch as the moon takes over the sky,
The glistening in the web’s great eye!

Stories and thread,
Spider’s blackness has spread.
Tonight I will watch,
And listen as you said.

Go now, child,
And remember your deed,
For to question the web
Is a blessing, indeed!

Super moon lunar eclipse
Signaling forth the totem travel,
5th dimensional spaceship delivering our tribe
As Spirit guides allow Ancient Future dreams to unravel.

Ebonized Crow,
Calling me to dance in the wind,
Yet Spider yearns for me
to spin a web within.

Black panther,
Tying knots in my stomach,
Yet bat reminds me
We are never too high to plummet.

Crashing down
Like waves of my sea,
The Eagle swoops intimidatingly close
To get a good look at me!

I feel twisted, I am flying...
Have I lost my wings?
Is this my dying?

Total Alignment,
In 2015 A.D.
All of these Spirits tugging,
How can I just BE?

I breathe heavily - the Bat taking shape,
She is so beautiful and quick!
I resonate with her darkness,
Wearing that gorgeous skeletal cape.

I, too, hang upside down,
In a cave where patterns are crowned.

I, too, run wild like the wolves!
I can feel all of their Spirits
We are all beating to the same drum.

Elephant’s stomping, snake’s hissing,
The purr of the sacred cat,
All of a sudden, it’s as though no one is missing.

Yes, we are formed together,
We bend and break.

This Ancient Future realization
Will help shift this energy, for all of Creation’s sake!

We are the drum, the bass, the serpent.
I am a cat, a lizard, and it has been molded within my purpose.

Buffalo trots are similar to rotted crops,
Heaven can be Hell.
Lightness can lead to darkness,
Unless you unshackle yourself from this Spell!

Rain drops of quartz and selenite,
Amethyst-Shaded Moon.
Blood like fire, and Fire as Sun!
All of the Totem, present to Swoon!

Let’s dance on the Mother
Barefoot and naked,
Let us chime for the Grandmothers and Grandfathers!
Self-limiting beliefs and grief,
We shall not even bother!

It’s the Super Moon
Total Lunar Eclipse!
Ascension of the Spirit,
Fasten your Integrity
For this TRIP!

You shed light onto my darkness,
the only shimmering light,  illuminating from a fish tank..

A face lit up in washed-out waters
with his notebook-empty-blues I'd like to thank

Persuasive and endearing,
a warm heart is heating mine.
I can feel the beat illuminating from a fish tank,
kept cold but inevitably shines.

Interwoven in the grand matrix of our existence,
is the paradox of Divine Intervention and Free Will.
With the ability to choose,
We create the bitter and the sweet,
interpretations vast, affecting the collective.

Within this web, a strand of familiarity,
alongside an ocean of great mystery.
We remember our family, distinct
by memory, visions, and scent.

We choose to connect,
unraveling the secrets that dance
gracefully just below our noses.
Answers always available,
questions seldom posed.

Opening the door,
a door to another door,
with no walls to support it.

Endless doorways to
an infinite space, needing
not to be “opened” in the first place.

We can always be open,
mindfully.
Authentically visualize a
boundless sea of Everything all at once,
and a thoughtful creation of entryways.

Based on how we choose,
our experiences become molded
and ripple into the choices beside us,
echoing from our brothers and sisters.

The vibration of our Will,
swimming, radiating
through the cosmos,
relocating land we hardly recognize,
but knew all along.

Your influence is unparalleled.
Your beauty is Divine.
Your scent is sacred.
Your voice is Spirit's love transformed into sound.
It is you who reminds us where we came from.
The infinite ... Where we shall return.
In your Womb, we are nourished and cared for.
In your arms, we are held and protected.
Strong, almighty, gentle (Womb)an.
Thank you, Goddess from before & NOW.

Each fast forward is a misunderstanding
Though it remains the same, just darkens with each handing
Harder for me to capture what’s written in ink
When the physical now takes over all that I must think
Seeds are the beginning of an expected progression
But a tree that stands tall is Old without Lesson
Shameful to hide behind mountains of growth
When you recognize the same scars in each and in both
Ironic is paper that is stripped down from tree
When words of my root are setting me free.

I love you, the way you YOU...
The way you do... The way you dance,
The way you move,
The way you YOU,
The way you choose to NOT you,
Is you, and are you,
You are you,
Very thank you.