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TW//SUICIDE
I think about his death a lot. They said i should write when i feel things, write write, just write until all the feelings are passed onto the sheet. But that day, when i discovered, i didn't, i just couldn't. I was just paralyzed, looking at the screen of my laptop. I stared at the word. Suicide. He committed suicide. I don't know how he did it. I don't want to know. But he did.
I know we don't know each other personally but that really does not matter, that's not the point. I stood beside him, with all the others, fighting for the same cause, wearing the same color, shouting the same chants. I felt my surroundings, the colors inside the house, the sound of the fan, the lights flickering at my side, stopped. They all stopped. Altogether, they stopped being what they were and then nothing made sense.
I thought about his death today. Again.
No, not really about his death. Its about the moments right before it. Right before he decided to do it. I imagine his heart just sinking, or full of grief or maybe just hollow and empty. I imagine how helpless he was, how nothing could possibly save him, no, not now, not a single call or text, not a thing, it was all too late. I imagine him slowly but decidedly, surely, letting go of the delicate line of his life.
It's too noisy and just too loud. Imagine how enticed he was with the thought of quiet, of peace, of nothingness.
my heart cannot comprehend the hurt that must be feeling by those who were close to him, his family, his friends, his orgmates. i hope he is well now. i hope he found the peace and the quiet.
Sep 9 · 117
Untitled
wala namang magtatanong
o maghahanap
normal naman na ika'y mawala
paminsan-minsan
sumasama ka sa dilim
pero kailan ka mananatili,
kailan ka hindi babalik?
09/10/19
i am fine
we were walking back
hearing all your worries, taking a second everytime you move your lips with an answer
you were worried about a boy carrying all his scars and delivering them to you
i was there, you dont have to retell
i stopped and took all my courage
maybe i could give mine too
you looked at me clueless
okay, you say
you proceed like you never heard me

all my life ive been told i wasnt important
that my problems are mine to keep
and hush now, the world isnt ready for that yet
how selfish am i to even speak of it
am i not satisfied with whats given to me?
do i really have to be that loud
c'mon, there are many out there that actually have their life on the line

why the **** are you crying?
your eyes told me that
and i never knew that a stare could deliver a message as loud as that
you add:
sorry, i just forgot that today is the day you die
that today you're pathetic enough to think that you need help
that today is the day you think its necessary for you to be selfish
because thats what you are

and im sorry you think im not worth it
i swear im trying to be
and with all your reasons you chose not to look at me
you just handed me a ten-month notice
and im sorry i forgot what day it is
6/17/19
why do i choose all the wrong people every ******* time

Also, pls dont tell them
Jun 3 · 71
Untitled
I need a sense of familiarity
One that could anchor my body to the ground
'cause things have been strange lately
And lately the faces and places register as strangers in my brain

Only the voices retained their familiarity,
convinced me that they are the only one to trust
'cause anyone that can hold me easily
Can let go just as fast
6/3/19
Apr 7 · 69
Untitled
It's not even a matter of 'if' anymore, it's a matter of 'when'
4/8/19
You called me sin. A natural-born sin, you say. Something unchangeable, indomitable evil.
But its okay, you say, we are all born sinners. That, your lying tongue and your shaky hands wandering through the things that arent yours as well as your lustful eyes, and those guns you carry around that screams the bullets through the heads of the innocent, these things you made balance on one side of the weighing scale with the sin of loving the same.
You say things about nurture and nature. Its nature, you say, and never nurture, therefore you are born w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶ no born as it. Im not the sinner, i am the sin.
4/4/19
Apr 1 · 785
Untitled
Walang umagang gumising nang may bulaklak sa dibdib, tipong makulay at umaalingasaw ang bango. Ibang bulaklak ang nais, tipong puti at binulungan na ng mga panalangin na para sa akin at sa akin lang.
4/1/19
Feb 3 · 1.7k
palagi.
kinalimutan mo na kaya ako?
sa mga oras na nasa presensya ng bawat isa
naaalala mo rin kaya ang mga hangal na desisyong nagbuklod sating dalawa?

dahil ako, palagi.
sa tuwing nandiyan ay pinapauli-ulit
ang transisyon ng pagkawalay ng dalawang pinaglapit
sa pagkalimot ng isa
paulit-ulit nagsisimula sa umpisa
ani mo'y palabas sa sariling haraya

iniipit ako ngayon ng tahimik
ni walang imik sa pagitan nating dalawa
napagod na ang mga paang umakyat para lang matanaw
o magbigay ng senyas, nagdadasal na bigyang habag

napapangiti na lang sa mga gunita
dahil naaalala ang ilang beses na pagsuko at pagtayo namang muli
tulad ng paulit-ulit na pagtugtog
ng musikang nagpapaalala sayo
idk *** 2/4/19
Feb 3 · 144
Untitled
pakinggan mo ang ugong ng hangin
ni 'di mo alam kung tanging ikaw lang ang nakakarinig
mas maingay pa sa mga sigaw mo,
mas maingay pa sa mga dasal sa sansinukob
ngunit hindi ba iyon ang dahilan ng iyong pagbagsak
ang walang habas na pakikinig
sa mga boses na kayang tumagos dahil sa talim
bisa ng maiging paghasa ng iyong patalim
2/4/19
Jan 27 · 128
If i'm being honest
Can i say—
your absence is a relief. Your lack of response gives me nothing but comfort and i know, i will not see your name pop up just yet 'cause how can you reply to "im sorry i can't take the risk to jump so i vanished" and to "i'm sorry i opened the door but no, i'm not inviting you in" or to "i'm sorry but i'm just here to say sorry (and have no intention of 'fixing' you)" because i don't think my broken bones can lift the tools any longer.
I say yet because almost always you pop right back the last minute, trying. I hope this time would be the last.
I say i sorry in every sentence, you thought i was letting you in.
1/27/19
Jan 11 · 234
Untitled
I didn't want to be like her. I don't want to. I dont want to lose control. I don't want it to consume the life out of  me, if i still have one that's still decent enough to be ruined. And now that's all I'm thinking. But thinking further into it, i knew we werent the same. She was lost in the midst of a peace and empty ocean. She couldnt see any land. The kind of peace where silence was her loudest enemy and thats what drove her to the edge. Me, im in a river. Holding a row without a boat. I had the fine illusion that i could take control. And even when i knew, i went with the flow like a fool, trying, i wish i could say mindlessly, trying to get away from the water. There was a destination but it was not mine. It was a preset of how everything should be but its all a blur. It's assurance but a nightmare everytime i close my eyes. It never silenced my mind.
12/28/18
Dec 2018 · 145
I've lost (you), again
cherry blossom Dec 2018
Sometimes both keeping my eyes closed and opening them up are terrifying
The mirror has a habit of reminding me the pieces of myself that ive lost and kept on losing. What i have left is not much.
Dec 2018 · 153
Untitled
cherry blossom Dec 2018
I didn't want to go home unannouced
I didn't want to bother anyone in my resting place
I just want to speed up the pace
Fast forward to the void with the sound
Of nothing at all
With nothing at all
12/07/18
Nov 2018 · 2.5k
Untitled
cherry blossom Nov 2018
Bakit balewala na sa akin ang pagkalunod?
Bakit sa tuwing nahihila pababa ng angkla'y nagpipigil na lang ng hininga?
Bakit tuwing nahuhulog ay hindi na sumusubok lumaban
At sa tuwing may kamay na kukuha pabalik ay pilit iniiwasan


Isang araw ay nagising
Nang 'di namamalayan ang mga luhang umaagos sa mga mata
Ganito pala sumagot ang sariling katawan
Na paulit ulit nagsasabing hindi na sapat ang paglimot
At di na rin sapat ang pagsisinungaling at pagpapaniwala sa sarili
Na ayos ka na
Dahil hindi pa naman talaga
At akala mo lang noon na handa ka nang bumagon ulit at magsimula

Kaya bumalik na sa himbing ng pagtulog hanggang sa makalimot muli
11/3/18
Oct 2018 · 3.2k
Sagot ng isang ina
cherry blossom Oct 2018
Sinagot ako ng iling
Isang malaki at klarong paggalaw ng ulo pagilid
Hindi muna naisip magtanong kung bakit
O maisip man lang na inapakan niya ang hiling ng isang anak
na mabigyan ng pagtanggap

Itong pagtanggap, na sa kanya lang hinihingi
(Dapat ay) sapat na ang pagtanggap sa sarili **** balat
9/14/18
Sep 2018 · 10.6k
Saglit
cherry blossom Sep 2018
Baka sakali lang naman na alam ko ang tinutukoy mo
Nag-iba bigla ang sinasabi ng mga mata mo
Noong sinabi **** 'alam mo na yon'
Pasensya dahil hindi ko kayang kumonekta ng ganon kabilis
Natatakot pa akong magtanggal ng damit
Natatakot pa akong ipakita ang tunay na ako
Patawarin mo ang kahangalan ko

Siguro hanggang paghaplos
Hanggang pagkapit mo sa mga braso ko
At ang manaka-nakang paghawak mo sa mga pulso at kamay ko
Paghawak mo sa ulo ko at sabay ang paghaplos sa buhok ko,
At ang pagkawala ng mga 'to
Dahil madalas na ang pag-iwas mo sa mga mata ko.

Pero saglit,
May tradisyon pa tayong gaganapin
Magkasamang haharapin ang sakit
Saglit
Sana maabutan pa natin ang buwan na mahahaluan ng mga ngiti
At pagsambit
ng mga lihim
Sana interesado ka pa dahil ganon kabilis
nagbago ang isip
Walang wala sa bilis ng paglakad mo sa susunod na destinsyon
Bakit ganon kabilis?
Kaya saglit,
Ngayon lang ako magpapahintay kaya sana 'wag ka munang mainip.
Hangal, oo hangal
9/9/18
Ang sabog pero hahaha
Aug 2018 · 710
ignorance
cherry blossom Aug 2018
their eyes, red and swollen
In the corner of this house, there is deafening silence
screamed by my father's mind
And my body shakes as if riding a bus through a bumpy road,
I'm numb enough but i still know
We have different monsters
We face each day, we don't know if we're lucky that we survived
I don't know where their minds are,
and I'm willing to hide behind
the ignorance of this war


Yes, this is the kind of home I return to
Maybe that's what established the bliss of not knowing
Maybe I'm starting to consider not coming "home". 8/19/18
Aug 2018 · 423
Untitled
cherry blossom Aug 2018
it's kind of funny how we let the past, our loneliness, to present itself as a tool to let go, when every step forward creates lines of words that bury us deep, further into the  same hole we were trying to claw our selves out.
when will we learn to mourn a little bit and go.
04/08/18
Jun 2018 · 200
no, i wasn't asleep
cherry blossom Jun 2018
Every time I close my eyes, I fantasize every single detail of cutting myself into pieces, escaping my skin. I'd sit in a moment where I can't fake it anymore, the world just tells me to close my eyes and let the static in my ears grow louder. Don't fight it anymore. It's you. Eventually, it will consume me and I wouldn't have to do anything anymore.

I was walking in this dark road, tempted to just lie in the middle of the wet floor and let my screams out. I want my tears to escape me, at last. My brain was ready not to mind all the eyes to see, it was ready not to mind the people I know to know how badly scarred and scared I was, my blurry eyes were ready to see their figures to walk away from me. But I was a vessel, too thick, the walls aren't planning to back down, and I'm left inside it powerless
06/28/18
Jun 2018 · 2.5k
Ours
cherry blossom Jun 2018
You know how you know the moon's name, but it doesn't know yours?
feels like being sidetracked
How its light beams mildly to your eyes, but yours, just irrelevant
Cold breeze makes you shiver
but the night takes no effect from you

It's nothing like your touch,

You touch me like a cotton ball,
carelessly, effortlessly gives a sign of relief
A sigh of affirmation,
of how this spot is reserved for only me
and your hands are designed to remember every edge of my body
and how you say my name,
like its the only thing that matters
and how your gaze sends electric signals as you utter words, so gently.
I feel my knees melting
No, I can't feel them anymore
And I feel like I'm floating

The night, once against me, has become my fortress, our fortress.
Inspired(?) by Leah on the offbeat, so you know tonight, I'm in love.
6/11/18
Jun 2018 · 273
Cold Weather
cherry blossom Jun 2018
It feels like a lump on the throat,
the sensation of feeling everything and nothing at all.
This skin feels tighter than usual
or a little bit loose to let the cold in,
or thicker that the blades are incapable of digging in,
or wispy like the clouds.
No, my clouds are thunderheads
bring storms to my normal day,
screams the sound of dismay.
I long for the warmth,
yet cold air barges in
wrap up and supply tears for rain.
The rain brings comfort, though
6/10/18
Jun 2018 · 425
Untitled
cherry blossom Jun 2018
naaalala ko ang lamig ng tubig sa mga balikat natin
mga oras na tumigil ka sandali,
at sumuko
tinanong mo ako tungkol sa mga panaginip ko kagabi
sinusuklian mo ako palagi ng ngiti
mga oras na tayong dalawa lang ang may alam
4/30/18
May 2018 · 232
s t o p
cherry blossom May 2018
There was no other way for me but to  s t o p.
The clock wasn’t agreeing
Its hands kept on turning
Another second, another minute
I still couldn’t get myself to light up the place with my fire
I wasn’t going to oppose how it gyred
But it was getting louder
tik tok, tik tok, my sanity was on the line
I can feel the decline
The walls were closing in
And my chest was getting tighter
All the colors diffused with each other
I released a scream but my head was filled with void
5/27/18
cherry blossom May 2018
She looked at me and said sometimes
I knew for sure what sometimes meant
It meant I look at you but not too often
It meant I ask myself every time I felt conquered
It meant you are one of the thoughts I shove away when im lying in bed
It meant sometimes I get scared
Because  sometimes you are also in my head
And you are in mine for quite sometime
And it’s getting a bit unfair
And I didn’t become a Libra just to let you step in my lair
For you to obliterate
And leave it like that


Haven’t you heard, that you should leave a place in a state of what it was when you first set foot in it?
So, plant some flowers in my chest
And let's pretend you never left
because hope is hope no matter how improbable.
5/16/18
May 2018 · 194
Warmth
cherry blossom May 2018
It felt right. For the first time in a long time, I've never felt so aligned with the stars. It wasn't oh-no-whats-the-catch kind of happy, it was live-in-the-moment kind of happy, a one-gaze-for-communication happy, a clean-slate-start happy. It was everytime you'll fall you know someone's looking out for you. It was the warm and gentle water giving my back a place to let all my worries float, then I floated.
5/13/18
cherry blossom Apr 2018
You hated yourself because they said you weren't on the right track
That loving the same is a sin without redemption
You denied yourself of happiness and freedom,
Of acceptance,
Of how love can be of different forms
In different places, in different bodies
With that, you caged yourself with fear,
When you shouldn't have.

Today, you accepted that piece of yourself
You surrounded yourself with beautiful minds
You weren't following anyone's "right track"
But, still, you hate yourself for not trying hard enough.
04/17/18
writing prompt
cherry blossom Apr 2018
You said my words were synonyms for beautiful and my lines let you crossed boundaries. You said what i was making was art to be preserved. But, darling, my words arent from books, nor these tv shows, nor the fantasies of the real world. My words are a part of me and a piece of what you called ****. These words were carved using the sharpness of the blades that once cut me. And how would i expect you to love me? My art is for the eyes of the ones who are brave enough to look at me.

so how are you supposed to love me?
4/13/18
You said you've accepted me but your eyes says otherwise.
Apr 2018 · 466
Untitled
cherry blossom Apr 2018
My body is covered with tattoos

I made them with thoughts, ones I created with memories, ones that are considered permanent but bit by bit I manage to take them off. Ones that changed colors by the season I'm in. My body is covered with tattoos as well as scars. I managed to let go of the ones that wanted to take off, and ones that infected my being. Healing wasn't a pleasant place. I tell myself enough, but I couldnt help myself. ''Maybe this time, this one won't have to go.'' But I seal my scars with another one, and another, and another, and another, until my skin screamed, until my skin felt nothing.


I got bruises for not feeling

I am supposed to be happy. There are many reasons to be. But I guess I can never be satisfied and id still want more, even though I do not entirely know what I want. My heart feels so empty, that I hear the sound of my own heartbeat in the hollowness of its chambers. I grasp for air everytime because I feel my throat closing in. I'd get stomachaches and would want to ***** out everything that I am. Because I hate everything that I am, was, and became. Serenity is played in shows, movies and music, in people at the streets, walking alone but not feeling lonely, in colors, in everything that I can only watch but never touch and never become.


Imagine me having a heartbreak every single day I see you.

You walked past me looking at my eyes but never in too deep. My feelings are buried deep down, where I can't even dig. You are the love I never intend to have and the love I have always wanted. You took me to a whole new reality but left me there. I was screaming your name everytime my heart and body start to shake. You caused me all this pain but you were always innocent. I mistook your glances for longing, I was the one longing.


We take words and make it as romantic as it sounds

We put love in every bit of context or in some cases we force out love to take part of our whole being. That's how we live, survive and die. We write songs about the sky or the moon or the sun and make it seem like they are infatuated with the clouds. We make the wind sound like the humming of a broken hearted lover waiting to be salvaged by the knight. There was always a knight, who comes and saves us. Take us out of the black and white world we created for ourselves. We make this up for our loses. For our victories. For the ones that broke us. For the ones that mold us back. For ourselves.
I'll just leave this here. Thanks
4/12/18
cherry blossom Mar 2018
You pour too much, honey
You can give some to your self
Your bones were not meant to be broken apart
And to be given away as a parting gift
and your heart isn’t gonna take itself to sleep
to give way for another heartbeat
to succeed in making more songs for life to be lived
you deserve someone like your self
your lungs collapsed when you breathe
for anyone who needs serenity
you turn your back to your own battles
you were afraid to go home
when home became just a place
and you don’t know what happens next
you tried to cry
but the rivers were enough for you to sleep, so why?
You tried to look at your path
But you carelessly joined a troubled soul
And you waited for the aftermath
You knew.
You live by faith
And how it would lead to a better fate
You,
You tried not to worry about your pain
Learned how to live and love and die in vain
You deserve someone like yourself.
And not someone who broke you apart
Not someone who decided you were too small
For the eyes to see
Never someone who rated your worth with your color and melody
You weren’t gray
Nor the gave the slightest hint of happy
You provided yourself as the safety net
You never had one for yourself.
So, you,
You deserve someone like yourself.
3/16/18
stop searching for others' happiness.
Feb 2018 · 743
Untitled
cherry blossom Feb 2018
ano ang pinakamaling ipilit sa kalawakan?
ang naisin ang paglaho
ang pagkasabik sa destinasyon
ang madaling paglisan
mga maling kamay na kanlungan
ilang beses na tayo nagbabakasakali
sa 'di mabilang na pagpapasubali
sa mga bahay na akala natin ay tahanan
sa mga taong ilang beses napaghandaan
sa mga baka sakaling hindi tayo iiwan
o ang tiwalang hindi tayo lilisan
mga ilang beses pa dapat umulit ang palabas?

may magbibigay ba ng kasiguraduhan?

dahil isa lang ang sigurado ngayon
ang walang pag-aalinglangang pagod
ang pagsuko
ang sunod-sunod na pagkalunod
ang ilang beses na pag-iyak sa walang katuturan
mga walang katuturan, dapat

pinilit nating manatili
bigyang sagot ang mga tanong sa nasirang haligi
tignan mo ang mga bituin
isa tayo sa kanila
o ang mga bulalakaw,
mga bato na pinagliyab ng damdamin
tignan natin ang ganda
mamaya na natin alamin ang kasinungalingan nila
mamaya na natin pag-isipan
na ang mga liwanag na ito'y nakaraan na
pagmasdan natin ang ganda
mamaya na natin pag-usapan
ang pagkawala matapos ang pagbagsak
'wag na nating itatak
sa mga munting isipan
ang nagbabadyang katapusan
dahil alam na natin ang kahihinatnan
sa maling paglusob sa gyera ng kalawakan
at ang pagsalungat sa mga propesiya na minarkahan

hintayin na lang natin ang katapusan.
ibato na lang natin sa kalawakan ang hinaing sa mundo
02/20/18
Feb 2018 · 708
i remember her
cherry blossom Feb 2018
I remember her
All strong
Mighty, as she should be
As she was told to be
Her father cried the night before she entered here
“messed up world”, they depict
But her heart was ready
Together with the child waiting in her womb.
She was strong
she was staring outside the window for too long
her mind was there
trying to process how life treated her
she sang through the silence
filling content in her conscience
she was happy
She went there
That long path, not fully grown
But she got back on her own.
”are you ready?”
She always is
and there, a touch on her back
the warmest touch in existence
she looked,
and there, stood a man
with eyes looking at her like the sun,
she knew she was lost in those eyes
with a contagious smile
she knew she had to remember,
he held her with the promise of forever
she knew he’s the one

she was ready,
and the red-colored carpet was as ready for her to take.
2/8/18
cherry blossom Feb 2018
Last night, I knew for sure I was drowning
Like the water was deciding when I should die
And it held my life like it was a rope
When in reality I knew it was a string
I know who you are
You’re vulnerable, alone and afraid
And I have just the right thing for you

And it was black.





I cried so hard when I woke up,
When I realized it was just a dream,
A thought in the back of my mind,
A dream
I’ve always,

Always


wanted.
2/2/18
.
Jan 2018 · 152
Untitled
cherry blossom Jan 2018
you’re not the only one that matters

And maybe im saying this because people have constantly reminded me the same thing. And maybe I want someone to feel the same way as I felt. Maybe I wasn’t that kind. Maybe I wanted to see someone suffer just because I got hurt, and yes, I am that kind of person. Maybe I kept it in the back of my head and it kept messing with me. It comes back again and again and again.
tell me how to get back.
1/31/18
Jan 2018 · 849
Untitled
cherry blossom Jan 2018
Ang kailangan ko lang naman ay malaman na hindi ako nag iisa
Na sa layo ng paglalakad ay nandiyan ka pa
Sapat na sa akin ang maging mahalaga
Alam kong ilang beses mo nang nabanggit sa ‘kin ‘to
Pero nasaan ka na ngayon?
Alam kong madalas **** sambitin na nandiyan ka lang
Na hinahanap mo rin ako paminsan minsan
At akala ko kuntento na ako
Hinahagilap ko ang titig mo
Natatakot ako
Na hindi mo mapansin ang pagkawala ko

Ilang beses na rin ako nagpaagos sa alon
Ng walang nakapansin ng pagtangay sa ‘kin
Sagipin mo ako sa nagbabadyang pagkalunod
Hindi na ako magkukunwaring maalam lumangoy
Sagipin mo naman ako

Naiintindihan ko na hindi lang ako ang iniisip mo
Pero sana alam mo na ikaw lang ang kinakapitan ko
01/17/18h
Jan 2018 · 1.4k
Untitled
cherry blossom Jan 2018
Takot akong mag-isa
Takot akong harapin ang apat na dingding na makakasama ko sa gabi
Narinig na nila akong kumanta
Ng mga sinasayawan ng kalungkutan na himig
Takot akong kamustahin ng mga unan
na nabulungan na ng mga kasalanan
Ng mga kumpisal ng mga pinakatatago kong lihim
Naulanan na sila ng mga luha
Na resulta ng ilang beses na pagtalalo
Na nagaganap sa utak ko

Hindi ko rin maintindihan

Walang nakakaalam
Na sa tuwing gabi
na tanging ang hininga ko lang ang naririnig
tanging ang puso na lang ang may ganang magdagdag ng segundo, paulit-ulit

walang nakakaalam
kung gaano kalalim
ang nilalakbay ng isip,
kung gaano kadilim
ang suhestiyon ng mga boses na nagtatakda
madalas na akong nakikinig sa kanila
pinipilit kong bugawin
ngunit mas malakas sila sa ‘kin

natatakot akong mag isa
natatakot ako sa mga gabing ako lang ang nagpapatulog sa sarili
natatakot ako sa mga susunod pa

hindi ka ba natatakot sa mga boses na nagpapatulog sa 'yo tuwing gabi?
01/17/18
minsan na akong natalo at wala na akong maipapangako.
Jan 2018 · 303
sandali
cherry blossom Jan 2018
Anong iyong pinagmamadali
Malawak ang daan at ikaw lang ang katabi
Rinig ang bawat galaw ng ibon sa langit
Ang pagaspas ng hangin

Bigyan mo ng kaunting panahon
Ang pagtingin sa kinaroroonan mo
Hayaang bigyan ng kahulugan ang paglapit
Sa bawat segundo ng oras na binigay satin
01/12/18
.
Jan 2018 · 1.2k
Tigil
cherry blossom Jan 2018
Gaano ka kasigurado sa paligid na ginagalawan mo?
Isang araw ay maglalakad ng walang bigat sa mga balikat
Ninanamnam ang bawat haplos ng hangin, ang ginhawang dala nito
Bibigyan ng dahilan ang hindi at oo
At isang araw ay magmamasid
Sa mundong parang hindi ka naging parte nito
Itinulak ng tadhana palabas at hindi na nakatago
Ginapos ng hinagap at hindi na nakatayo
Ano pang silbi ng mga paa ,
Ng labi’t mga mata?
Tinalikuran ka na rin ng sarili **** isipan
Di tanggap ang pagtraydor ng akala mo’y iyo
Inuulit ang mga dasal bago kalimutan ang lahat
Sadyang hindi makailag sa pasaring ng mundo
Hinihiling na tumigil na ‘to
Tigil na
At kung hindi, ako na lang ang hahayo.
01/04/18
gaano katagal dapat maghintay?
Para kay B.
Jan 2018 · 154
Untitled
cherry blossom Jan 2018
She demanded attention
All she could do is keep her mouth shut
Scream in silence
Because what else is there to do?
01/02/18
i wasn't kidding when i muttered 'im leaving'.
Dec 2017 · 1.1k
Gabi
cherry blossom Dec 2017
binigyan na naman ng isang gabi ang puso para mahimlay
sa mga kumot na nagsilbing museleo ng naghihintay
hinagkan ang hangin at tinuring na kaibigan
binalikan ang buhay na unang kinamulatan.
12/05/17
ang tanong: 'bakit' at 'paano'
Nov 2017 · 194
Not about you
cherry blossom Nov 2017
i don't want to write about you anymore
but i still recognize you in my lines
11/21/17j
Nov 2017 · 179
Untitled
cherry blossom Nov 2017
The world is as cruel as you see it
You see, I lived a life of a beggar
Constantly wishing for anything right to land my hand
As it extends to the air and space in front of me

Nothing, when I wished for nothing I got exactly what I wanted
I reached out and, fate,
Fate is crueler than you think it is,
than you leaving me with uncertainty and leaving me

you see, fate has always been on the upper hand
no regrets and never thinks twice
now when it decided we fall apart.
We fell apart.

Harder than you thought it was
Concrete was concrete
I landed perfectly on it
Bones broken, thoughts disoriented and tears flowing

Acceptance.
Acceptance was harder than healing
It was more painful, aggravating
Wearing a flowery mask, a façade, a disguise
i'm so disappointed with myself, i thought of you again. i shouldn't have.j
11/03/17
Nov 2017 · 2.6k
Untitled
cherry blossom Nov 2017
Mahal, nakalimutan na kita
Hindi ko sinubukang kalimutan ka,
Hindi ko sinasadya, maniwala ka
Pumagitna lang naman ang oras at ang kalayaan sa ating dalawa
Para kay B.
10/13/17
Sep 2017 · 488
Untitled
cherry blossom Sep 2017
Ang alam ko lang ay yung gaano ako kabuo kapag katabi kita.O kapag kahit ilang kilometro ang layo natin sa isat isa pero nagpapalitan tayo ng mga salita. Binibigyan mo ako ng dahilan, hindi laging masaya pero nandiyan ka. Buti na lang nandiyan ka. At madalang lang sa tagal ng paghinga makaramdam ng ganito, medyo naiilang pa at pinipilit pang talikuran. Pero ngayon pa lang alam ko na, hanggang dito lang ako. Pero ngayon pa lang pinoproseso na ang pagtanggap dahil matagal tagal na rin naman akong naglalakad dito, tingin ko'y kaya pa naman. Hindi pa naman ngalay ang tuhod at paa. Kaya ko pa.
Para kay M. 08/29/17
cherry blossom Sep 2017
at muli kitang nasilayan,
tumingin ng walang pakundangan
walang makitang pagsisisi sa mga sulyap ng nakaraan
pumikit at nagkunwaring hindi ako muling nawalan

at hindi, hindi ako nawalan ng kamay na makakapitan
hindi isang kanlungan na una **** inalok noon sa ulan
naaalala pa noong handang handa kitang awitan
nawiwili ka sa himig ng aking kalungkutan

isang awit na sa akin ang una **** kinuha kasabay ng iyong pag-alis
isang kulay sa espektrong makitid
kasabay ng pagdiin sa mga naghihilom na sugat
at ang pag-apak sa araw na pasikat sa guhit-tagpuan

sa lahat ng iyong tinangay sa paglisan
maraming bubog ang iyong nakaligtaan
mga patalim na ilang taon nang iniiwasan
binigyan ng rason para limutin ang pag-asang kinapitan
Para sa tilamsik na akala ko ay dagat
09/16/17
cherry blossom Sep 2017
sorry, I can't come
why?
I'm not feeling quite well right now.
ok.
ok. /I'm sorry/

I found myself surrounded with such figures
I cannot fully apprehend
now, when I say I'm not feeling well,
I mean I'm stuck in my bed waiting for the day to end
when I say I'm not feeling well,
I mean I cannot function well at the moment
and when I say I'm not feeling well
I mean I cannot go up and make all the self-pity thoughts go away.
now I just feel the need to say sorry
for everything
for how I can't be just a normal kid
for how I afflict in anything
for, even, me just existing.
09/02/17
.
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