Every time I close my eyes, I fantasize every single detail of cutting myself into pieces, escaping my skin. I'd sit in a moment where I can't fake it anymore, the world just tells me to close my eyes and let the static in my ears grow louder. Don't fight it anymore. It's you. Eventually, it will consume me and I wouldn't have to do anything anymore.

I was walking in this dark road, tempted to just lie in the middle of the wet floor and let my screams out. I want my tears to escape me, at last. My brain was ready not to mind all the eyes to see, it was ready not to mind the people I know to know how badly scarred and scared I was, my blurry eyes were ready to see their figures to walk away from me. But I was a vessel, too thick, the walls aren't planning to back down, and I'm left inside it powerless
06/28/18
You know how you know the moon's name, but it doesn't know yours?
It felt being sidetracked
How its light beams mildly to your eyes, but yours, just irrelevant
Cold breeze makes you shiver
but the night takes no effect from you

It's nothing like your touch,

You touch me like a cotton ball,
carelessly, effortlessly gives a sign of relief
A sigh of affirmation,
of how this spot is reserved for only me
and your hands are designed to remember every edge of my body
and how you say my name,
like its the only thing that matters
and how your gaze sends electric signals as you utter words, so gently.
I feel my knees melting
No, I can't feel them anymore
And I feel like I'm floating

The night, once against me, has become my fortress, our fortress.
Inspired(?) by Leah on the offbeat, so you know tonight, I'm in love.
6/11/18
It feels like a lump on the throat,
the sensation of feeling everything and nothing at all.
This skin feels tighter than usual
or a little bit loose to let the cold in,
or thicker that the blades are incapable of digging in,
or wispy like the clouds.
No, my clouds are thunderheads
bring storms to my normal day,
screams the sound of dismay.
I long for the warmth,
yet cold air barges in
wrap up and supply tears for rain.
The rain brings comfort, though
6/10/18
naaalala ko ang lamig ng tubig sa mga balikat natin
mga oras na tumigil ka sandali,
at sumuko
tinanong mo ako tungkol sa mga panaginip ko kagabi
sinusuklian mo ako palagi ng ngiti
mga oras na tayong dalawa lang ang may alam
4/30/18
Loneliness can be comforting
There is something unfamiliar with peace and silence
The further you go, the faster your heartbeat goes
It's like a world where we never existed
You feel this blanket of hope and it would scare you to death
So you back off
And return to the place you called home
5/1/18
There was no other way for me but to  s t o p.
The clock wasn’t agreeing
Its hands kept on turning
Another second, another minute
I still couldn’t get myself to light up the place with my fire
I wasn’t going to oppose how it gyred
But it was getting louder
tik tok, tik tok, my sanity was on the line
I can feel the decline
The walls were closing in
And my chest was getting tighter
All the colors diffused with each other
I released a scream but my head was filled with void
5/27/18
  May 23 cherry blossom
Meera
He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come
That's how true poetry comes into existence
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