There's beauty in pain
In tears
In scars
In fear

There's beauty in love
In war
In hope
In soul

There's beauty in woes
In sorrow
In smiles
In tomorrow

There's beauty in flaws
In mistakes
In glory
In fakes

There's beauty in Night
In Day
In you
Every single way

There's beauty in everything
Because everything is beautiful.

It's funny,
how when you read something
and realize that it basically
describes you and is talking
about you
and that there is a person
out there who relates to you,
and yet you still manage
to find a way to convince
yourself that no one
understands you
and you're just being dramatic.
Because this isn't fiction.
It's reality.
But apparently they're pretty similar
Sometimes.

My brain won't accept any more emotional stupidity.
It's literally NOT POSSIBLE.
It's taken in as much as it can.
Wanna know how I know?
I'm not feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling.
I can't.

It's a new year,
So new beginnings.
I'm still here,
But things will be different.

In with the new,
Out with the old.
My only resolution:
Stay warm when cold.

Who knows?
Maybe this year'll be fun?
Happy new year,
To everyone!

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But please give it back.
She needs it.
She needs it to feel.
Without it,
How can she love?
How can she be loved?
It's been so long,
Since she felt something real.
Since she was surrounded by people.
People who cared.
She can't do it alone anymore.
She's waiting for her one day.
So take it.
Take her heart,
But please, I'm begging you to give it back.

They told me
Someone's gonna hold me
And I believed them
But no one came
I waited
I waited in vain
They told me lies
And I believed them
But even though
They tell me nothing
I can still hear them
I see it their eyes
But it's all just lies
But I'm patient zero
They caught it from me
So when they're all gone
What'll be left of me

There's no escape
From the prison that I made

It's in my own head
Just like that monster under the bed

I've got a maze for a mind
My mind is a maze

I don't know what you'll find
But you'll never find it again

It's so easy to get lost in the dark
When you don't have a light

I can't find my way out
I can barely put up a fight

I can't think with my head
I can't feel with my heart

I locked myself in
Yet I'm miles afar

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can keep it.
You can stomp on it,
Break it into a million little, tiny pieces.
Do whatever you want.
She doesn't need it anymore.
She prefers to be dead inside.
Prefers to be numb.
Because feeling sad is overwhelming.
It's painful.
It's hard.
It's tiring.
She's tired.
So take it.
Take her heart,
Because it's too exhausting keeping it.

"I haven't fallen yet."
Is what I would say
If I was still flying.
Now, I'm just wondering
How badly I'll get hurt
When I land.

It's Christmas.
I should be happy today.
Just this once.

There is a man in my closet
He comes out at night
Crawls over to my bed
Turns out every light

There is a man in my closet
He caresses my skin
Holds me gently
And the warmth seeps in

There is a man in my closet
He reaches into my throat
Fiddles around for hours
Just to pull out the day I was born

He howls with my mother
Sways in her tears
Weeps with my father
And it tells me it wasn't real

He rips it to shreds
Lets me watch the day fall apart
Says I made it all up
Because I can't stand the dark

The man in my closet
Doesn't like to imagine
A world without me
But wonders what would happen

If I didn't dream
Of smiling on a swing set
Or have the memory
Of hiding in my closet

Where I dreamt up the man
Who let me paint with words
Watched as I stepped out
And boldly touched the world

A time where I was pink
And every day was golden
When my hands would touch the ground
And somebody would still want to hold them

When I could stand atop a hill
And want to climb higher
The man would reach into his pocket
And pull out a ladder

But lately he retreats further
To a corner in my closet
With all the shame and guilt
He knows it's haunted

By painful apologies
Unnecessary remnants
Ones he wishes I would burn
So we could stop reminiscing

Again he reaches into my throat
Pulls out another day
One where I was lonely
One where I wish I had said

Please don't leave me
Please stay the way you are
Pink and golden
He'll catch you from afar

Now that dear man
Is only trying to keep me golden
Amidst all the clothes in my closet
For me, he'll fold them

The rain is here, it's wet, please don't leave me.
It makes the world look dull, it light's up ours.
Thunder rumbles, it's cold, I need to breathe.
Sleepy, but free, I can stay up for hours.
It's too quiet, I want something better.
It rains all night, please let the clouds hang low,
Please let the trees dance, they will send letters.
Rain makes art, so does the sky, a faint glow.
It's real, but it looks fake, but I see the truth.
The sky is crying, the doors are creaking,
What about the pitter-patter on the roof?
We smile as it falls, the roof is leaking,
Now, but I don't care, I will fall asleep
To the sound and I will have soundless dreams

A heavy feeling on my chest,
Almost like the pressure of water.
The pressure of sinking.
Then I'm drowning.
In my anxiety.
I begin breathing rapidly.
Short breaths.
Uneven.
Because I can't take it in.
I can't take in the oxygen.
It feels like it just bounces,
Back up.
I feel something.
Something like fear,
But not really.
It takes a while,
But then it hits.
I'm panicking.
Panic.
That's what I feel.

And it scares the crap out of me.

It showed me the way
I just followed
I didn’t think about it
I just went where it went

Didn’t know who it was
Who was hiding behind this disguise
I didn’t mean to do it
But I did what it did

I was the puppet on it’s string
I made mistakes
I didn’t want to do it
I hurt who it hurt

All I did was what it told me to do
I became what it wanted me to
In the end, I became

It’s shadow.

~

Let there be light.
Let there be blood.
No black or white,
Just a heavy thud,

From your crown
Hitting the ground.
Cause you couldn't
Bear the weight of it.

Let there be light.
Let there be blood.
Can I survive?
Or should I run?

From your secret.
I'd never keep it,
Cause I couldn't
Bear the weight of it.

Let there be light.
Red as the dawn.
I will rise,
Thicker than blood.

No black or white.
The crown is gone.
Colours unite,
Gray lives on.

Let there be light
Because there will be blood.

~

I want the freedom to make mistakes.
The freedom to learn from my mistakes.
I want the freedom to fail.
The freedom to fall.
Just so I can get back up again.
On my own.

When I wake up after hours
I can't tell what I was dreaming
A taste in my mouth, so sour
'Cause all I remember is feelings

It's midnight
Dark outside
But the upside
Is the moonlight

But I'm awake
And I can't shake off the feeling
Of the pain
I felt when I was dreaming

It's midnight
But I won't go to sleep
Because I don't know
What I might feel

It's midnight
But I don't want to close my eyes.

I hate them,
'Cause sometimes
They drain me
Of all my
Energy.
Of all my
Loneliness,
Sadness,
Anxiety,
My worries.
I hate them,
'Cause sometimes
They take away
All of my
Friends.
Now that
We're all
Closer than before.

I thought I found a way out.
I thought that I could get away.
But you never disappear.

I thought you would chase after me.
I thought you would hunt me down,
But you just sat there, waiting.

I thought I wouldn't return.
I thought I left it all behind,
But you knew I would come back.

Somehow, I always came back.
I couldn't let you go.
Even though you ruined me.

I could run, but never hide.
But I could never run fast enough.
You always pulled me back.

I could run to the edge of the world,
You'd still find me.
My only escape is death.

But then again,
Jumping from the edge of a cliff
Seems like too much.

Learning to live with you
Is not an option.
I think I'm better off running.

Once.
Just once.
Tell me.
Show me that you care.
And maybe then I'll stop.
Stop saying that I don't.

We know, but not enough.
We are happy, but not enough.
We are free, but not enough.
Humans have been trying for so long,
But I think we need to try a little harder.

where everything just melts away
the sky moves and takes her pain
while everything stands still in the rain
she dances until the colours change
she plays with the water
until she falls again
droplets blanket her face
telling her it's going to be okay
......
she's in the rain

What a delicate heart!
One touch and you'll shatter.
Treat yourself like fine art,
So the price won't matter.

What a sensitive heart!
I already see some of the cracks.
Such a bad start.
I hope we won't watch you collapse.

What a brave heart!
You act like you're getting stronger,
Yet you break down in the dark.
You can't take it any longer.

What a heart!
Delicate, sensitive and brave.
Promise me you won't break,
Even though it's what you crave.