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324 · Nov 2019
Afterlife
Ruheen Nov 2019
Are we going to be
Dust?
Or shadows?

Will we be in the
Clouds?
Or the shallows?

Should we watch
From above?
Or below?

Will we fly
Or sink?

Will we laugh
And drink?

When the stars
Blink?

Will we cry
When they say goodbye?

Are we going to be
Cold?
Or just alone?

I want to know
When we die
Where do we go?
We could die today, in the next hour. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe even the one after that. It doesn't really matter when or how. I just wonder what happens next. Do we stay six feet under or do we go somewhere else?
324 · Jul 2020
Dyslexia
Ruheen Jul 2020
Forget about speaking and understanding.

If someone writes in a different language
To your own,
You wouldn't even be able to read it.

At least at first glance.
I'm sure if you stare at it
Hard and long enough,

You'd be able to make out something.
A metaphor. Stare it at long and hard. I'm sure you'll get it.
321 · Nov 2021
Dreamy
Ruheen Nov 2021
I don't have a dream
Is that strange?
Is it supposed to be?
It isn't to me. At all.
I don't know anything
But why do I have to have a dream?
I won't find one
Even if I do,
I won't
Follow
It.
You're the weird one for having dreams that are never constant.
I, in this sense, am perfectly normal. At least I'm consistent for never having a dream.
318 · Jul 2019
Moonlight
Ruheen Jul 2019
The Sun is shining awfully bright tonight.
Things aren't always what they seem.
316 · Dec 2018
Life and Death
Ruheen Dec 2018
You are the sun and I am the moon.
Life is the sun and death is the moon.

You are a lie and I am the truth.
Life is a lie and death is the truth.

You are a plague and I am the cure.
Life is a plague and death is the cure.

You are the light and I am the dark,
But death is easy and life is hard.
My take on life and death. Find your own meaning to my words.
313 · Feb 2022
Letters
Ruheen Feb 2022
Turns out we don't need to use that many.
This is random. I felt like posting.
312 · Dec 2018
What's Worse Than Death?
Ruheen Dec 2018
Being dead is better than being forgotten.
What's worse is being remembered by all your flaws.
I thought life was hard and death was easy.
Maybe I was wrong.
Maybe death isn't so easy after all.
Just a thought.
307 · Nov 2018
I'm Sorry
Ruheen Nov 2018
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean what I said.
My life is just a mess,
So I'm living in my head.

I'm sorry.
For everything.
.
306 · May 2020
Bite
Ruheen May 2020
I don't bite...
Hell.
These days
I don't even bark.

No bite, no bark, nothing.

Being tired tires you.

Plus.

I got nothing to bite.
Exam week. Ugh.
305 · Feb 2021
she's in the rain
Ruheen Feb 2021
where everything just melts away
the sky moves and takes her pain
while everything stands still in the rain
she dances until the colours change
she plays with the water
until she falls again
droplets blanket her face
telling her it's going to be okay
......
she's in the rain
305 · May 2019
Take It Or Leave It
Ruheen May 2019
Take what you can get
Even if it's not what you want.

A shoulder to cry on.
A comforting hug.
A piece of advice.


Because sometimes what you want
Is not what you need.
...
304 · May 2019
Society
Ruheen May 2019
~

Chaos can be controlled.
Calm cannot.
So, the calm before the chaos
Is scarier than the chaos.

~
...
I know it's 'the calm before the catastrophe', but this just sounded better, so..... :)
301 · Oct 2019
The Center
Ruheen Oct 2019
The world goes round.
So why do we go straight?
A set path we have paved,
Through the blood of Earth.

This is the way of the world.
The way of the world is us.
Drowning our guilt,
In the Earth's innocence.

One's an accident.
Twice, a coincident.
Three's a pattern.
Four's just pushing it.

Soon we'll be lying on our backs,
Eyes half-closed, minds so cold,
In the shallows of what we have broken,
In the pain of what we leave behind.

We are in the center
The center will hold
But our center has already fallen
It cannot hold any longer.
William Yeats - The Second Coming
297 · Nov 2018
They Did This.
Ruheen Nov 2018
When he first opened his eyes,
He knew nothing.
He didn't know that his choices
Would leave him dead.
He didn't know that he couldn't live his life.
He  didn't know he would be shunned.
Rather than being accepted.
He didn't know anything.

He didn't **** himself.
They did.
Blaming him for who he was.
Shutting him out.
It was all their doing.
The last time he closed his eyes
Was the last time he said goodbye.

The funny thing is,
That now, after he's gone
Is when they start feeling guilty.
When they start regretting what they did.
But it's too late.
Now, there's no one to hear their apologies,
But them.

It was their fault.
They did this.
Not him.
So many people say it's wrong or disgusting. They don't realize that they have no right to judge people based on what choices they make. It's their life. Their decision. Nothing can change that.
294 · Jan 2019
Pandora's Box
Ruheen Jan 2019
My mind is a box.
Filled with emotion.
And because I was curious,
I decided to let it out.
But all that came out,
Is hope.
And all I was left with,
Was everything else.
None of it good.
If there is only darkness within me,
Will there ever be any light?
I think it's a rhetorical question...I think.
Also, it's not really a box, it's a jar. A 'pythos' to be specific.
294 · Aug 2020
Little Lies
Ruheen Aug 2020
The littlest of lies
Conceal the largest truths.

Because the more extravagant your lie is
.
.
.
The less likely people are to believe it.
....
290 · Aug 2018
Insomnia
Ruheen Aug 2018
I toss and turn all night.
I can't even shut an eye
Because of what I'll see.

I start to think I'm crazy.

I don't get to sleep.
But when I wake up
There's nothing wrong with me.
For all the people who can't get a good night's sleep...I get it.
290 · Aug 2019
Falling Apart
Ruheen Aug 2019
People fall apart quite a bit.
A few times.
But not as much as me,
Because I fall apart quite a bit, too.
A few times a day.
Wrote this a long time ago. Still doesn't sound quite right.
289 · May 2020
Unchanged
Ruheen May 2020
The wind changes directions.
The seasons change the weather.
The leaves change colours,
Even as they fall.
The clouds change shapes.
The sky changes stars
The rain changes the pressure
As it falls.
They all move
And change,
Their faces.
But the roots of a tree,
Remain
Unchanged.
...
286 · Mar 2020
Loop
Ruheen Mar 2020
People are staring

I'm not moving

Maybe that's why

I'm not moving

Cause they're staring

And they're staring

Cause I'm not moving

And I don't know why

We're stuck in this loop

No difference

With eyes that stare

All around me

People are pushing

Too much pressure

I'm still not moving

The loop continues

But now, I'm alone.
I don't know. I was already messed up. Quarantine's making it worse.
286 · Mar 2020
Hostage
Ruheen Mar 2020
We're held
Hostage
In our own homes
In our own minds
And then we run
Thinking we're free
But that's just
A dream.
A hostage
I lost it,
And I don't know
How to fix it.
I just want to
Go to
Sleep
And never wake up.
I wrote a story, for my English class. Didn't think I'd like it. But then I read the last line. Still don't love it. I don't know why. But I'm getting there.
Same with this poem. Didn't like it until I wrote the last line.
Ruheen May 2019
Blade in my hand.
Eyes on you.
Feet planted on the ground.

You come running at me.
Not knowing what's about to happen.
Then suddenly blood spatters.

My hand's on your shoulder.
The blade in your torso.
As your white shirt turns red.

I tell you I'll take it out.
That it was only an accident.
But instead, I twist.

And watch your pretty little self
Fall to the ground.
Writhing in pain.

What's scary is that I don't feel anything.
Not pain, not guilt, not fear, nothing.
Hell, I barely even care.

I laugh at your cries for help.
I've killed you, now.
Twisted the knife and watched as you fell.
What can I say? I'm crazy.
282 · Oct 2019
A Well-Kept Secret
Ruheen Oct 2019
I talk to myself

So I can think to myself,
And so I think to myself,

What a horrible world.

'But why does it seem so pretty?'

Because beauty is the best disguise
For something so ugly inside.

The horrors of this world are a well-kept secret.
They are, aren't they?
It's the horror within the beauty can harm us the most.
Even more than just the horror alone.
277 · Apr 2019
Anxiety
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm not excited.
Nor am I nervous.
Not exactly worried, either.

Just plain scared.
Scared of what's going to happen.
Of what's not going to happen.
Just plain scared.
275 · Sep 2018
Memories
Ruheen Sep 2018
Lost in memories
Happy, sad and bittersweet
I'm losing my mind.
When memories become too much.
274 · Mar 2019
The Stairs of Hell
Ruheen Mar 2019
Nothing is real
         Nothing is promised
                                   Nothing is true
                                                 But I'm being honest
                                                          ­           Take a step forward
                                                         ­                               Take a step closer
                                                          ­           Take a step with me
                                                 We'll fall a little over
                                   Do not trust me
             I won't trust you
Letting you down
             Is what I can do
                               The more you fall                
                                             The deeper you'll dive
                                                            ­          The more you hurt
                                                            ­                     The slower you'll die
                                                             ­         Maybe you'll end up
                                                Where I already am
                           Walk down the steps                                                       
    ­       If you think you can
A warning's been given
                 No time to dwell
                               Please, welcome to
                                                   The stairs of hell.
Well, here you go. Another piece of my mind. Also, just saying, this is nothing. My brain is much more terrifying than this.
269 · Sep 2020
The Wall
Ruheen Sep 2020
Confined in concrete and silence;

The serrated edges; scarring.

With blank spaces, impatient for thoughts

And handholds with which I can peek.

As I push myself higher,

My hands catch hold of a fence.

When I sit over the edge,

The fence digging into my legs,

My palms scratched and ******,

I decide; a mere jump cannot take

From me the pen I have longed to hold;

And so the inkless pages begin bleeding ink.
I haven't been able to write. I've been forcing words out, but I think I did it with this one.
Just had to jump over a wall. Piece of cake.
268 · Sep 2018
Darkness
Ruheen Sep 2018
Shrouded in darkness.
My wall, my clothes and my thoughts.
I’m lost in darkness.
The girl they knew is gone.
266 · May 2019
Heartbeat
Ruheen May 2019
Lock the door.
Close your eyes.
Embrace the dark.
Slide down onto the floor.
Feel the cold wall.
Against your back.
Hit your head on the wall.
It sounds like a heartbeat.
Just listen carefully.
Block everything else out.
It keeps on going.
Then suddenly, it stops.
Just like your own.
Now, again.
Open your eyes.
See the light.
Embrace it.
I don't know. Just try it.
264 · Jul 2019
Glasses
Ruheen Jul 2019
Take them off.
They’re blinding you.
They’re hiding reality.
Take them off
And you’ll see
A different world.
One not so happy.
It’s scary,
But it’s real.
And that is better
Than some fantasy.
We don’t need to hide
To be protected.
The world doesn’t need to hide
For our protection.
Because knowing
Is protection enough.
It’s just a different way
Of seeing things.
It’s a change of view.
A change of perspective.
A change.
Sometimes I want glasses like those. Ones that hide everything. Ones that make everything seem okay.
It’s too bad.
263 · Nov 2018
'Bad' Weather
Ruheen Nov 2018
Darkened skies.
Grey clouds.

Waiting for the weather's cry.
It's going to be loud.

Rain falls.
Sun's far away.

That's not all,
Because the rainbow escaped.

Cold moon.
Dim stars.

It's about to end soon.
The ending's not too far.
It's raining right now, heavily, might I add. I got inspired.
I love the rain, but it also makes me sad sometimes. Especially when I'm in the mood for happy time (RARE) and I want a bright, sunny day.
It really does sound like the sky's angry. Zeus' got his ******* in a twist - again.
I love the darkness of it. But a bright day isn't too bad either.
262 · Sep 2018
Hope (10W)
Ruheen Sep 2018
Hope keeps us waiting,
and it leaves us like that
Hope this makes sense.
261 · Aug 2019
Just a Kid
Ruheen Aug 2019
I know I'm growing.
I know I'm evolving.
I'm changing.
And that's not really the problem.
There actually isn't one.
It's just something I don't like.
I'm a kid.
I don't understand the real world.
And all it's problems.
I mean, that's what I'm told.
But what they don't know,
What they can't see,
Is that I do understand.
I'm a kid, but that doesn't mean,
I'm small.
That doesn't mean
I can't see past the dashboard.
I can see the causes, the effects,
I see the people.
But what I don't like,
Is when I feel like they're right.
I don't like it when I feel small.
When I can't see anything.
When I don't understand.
Because I'm just a kid.

I don't know anything.
That's what they say. Sometimes I believe it. I try very hard not to.
I don't have the experience they do. I haven't gone through what they have. But they won't go through what I will. They won't know the world that I do. Because my world is not their world. I'm not them. What they understand, is not what I understand. It never will be.
The world's different, so am I.
256 · Oct 2019
William Shakespeare
Ruheen Oct 2019
The guy that got confused between love and pain.
"One pain is cured by another. Catch some new infection in your eye, and the poison of the old one would die."

At least I think he did. You see I'm quite confused too. But about everything.
Ruheen Feb 2019
Rain drops
Rain falls
On my skin

Laughter
Fading
Escaping

Louder
Footsteps
No more hiding

Salty
Tears
Can't keep it in

Nothing good,
Not all of it bad.
I don't know.
252 · Sep 2019
Muse
Ruheen Sep 2019
The mirror is your muse
Your muse, the mirror
I don't know.
250 · Aug 2019
We Cannot Eat Money
Ruheen Aug 2019
We really can't.
I'd imagine that would taste quite horrible.
Like paper.
Which is technically a tree...
Think about it.
When the last tree has been cut down,
The last fish caught,
The last river poisoned,
Only then will we realize
We cannot eat money.

-Cree Indian Proverb
250 · Nov 2019
Blah Blah Blah
Ruheen Nov 2019
What I hear every day.
Not just around me,
But in my head too.
People need to shut up sometimes.
250 · Sep 2020
Black Dot
Ruheen Sep 2020
Sometimes a black dot in the middle of a page is
Just a black dot in the middle of a white page.
It's just that.
It doesn't have to be more than that.
Why do we have to complicate it?
Not everything needs a story.
We don't have to complicate everything.
We're just making it harder for ourselves.

So let that black dot be a black dot.
Don't look at as if it's life.

Because life isn't that simple.
We did this thing in class where we looked at a picture of a black dot in the middle of a white page and then had to write down what we saw.
I wrote exactly what I saw; a black dot on a white page.
Apparently, our teacher wanted something else; something more profound.
Why? Why psychoanalyze everything and turn into something so complicated?
Keep it simple.
Life already has complications, why add more?
249 · Jun 2020
Stress
Ruheen Jun 2020
That's what's gonna **** me,
Stress;
A little
Less;
The middle of a
Mess;
I should really stop saying
Yes;
'Cause that's what's gonna **** me,
And now I'm dead.
But let's
Keep this
To myself.
...exams.
248 · Mar 2019
Mirror, Mirror
Ruheen Mar 2019
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who will die, out of them all?

Please just pick one
We're running out of time
Make a choice, it's time to decide

One by one they'll die anyway
What's the point of making them wait?

Only one
That's all I'm asking of you
One for the rest, it's time to choose

Quick and painless, they'll be asleep
They won't feel a thing, trust me

Better now than later
Better safe,
Than sorry.
I have no idea what goes on in my brain. Seriously. I've been trying to figure it out for years.
246 · Nov 2018
Today I Wrote Song
Ruheen Nov 2018
Today I wrote a song.
I hummed it to the birds.
They sang it back to me,
As sweet as they could.
I don't know. It just popped into my head and I wrote it down. Someone tell me what I meant.
246 · Nov 2019
Say You Will Remember Me
Ruheen Nov 2019
Say you will remember me

When I run away and burn this town
When I turn away without a sound

Say you will remember me

They will burn without a fight
Because they don't care
It's not their fight

Say you will remember me

When I am caught and met by hate
I don't regret
They brought it upon themselves

Say you will remember me

For the fire, I lit
And the one I put out

So say you will remember me

When you all feel the burning pain
Of forgiveness in vain

Remember me

When you feel my pain.
Sometimes, we only hurt others because we want them to feel what we feel.
It's not our fault. It's not anyone's.
It's just the way we are.
245 · Jan 2019
I Know You, But I Don't
Ruheen Jan 2019
I thought I knew you,
But I guess not anymore.
I knew the old you.
You thought you knew me too, right?
But you don't, 'cause I've changed too.
People change. You think you know someone, but then you realize that you don't.
244 · Apr 2019
Candle
Ruheen Apr 2019
Like a burning candle,
I melt.
Disappear right before your eyes.
Gone before you even notice.
                              That flicker you see
                                  The moment of hesitation
      Is me almost not wanting to leave
                 Almost
                                            I'll burn you
 Within a few seconds
                                       I'll burn down myself
     Within another
             Touch me and
                                          All you'll feel is pain
                                                            ­       I'm cold at first
                   But only because I'm so dangerous
                I'll hurt you,
Which is something I just don't want to do.
Well....yeah I have nothing to say. Make of it what you will.
243 · Mar 2020
Deafening
Ruheen Mar 2020
Crank up the volume,

So you can't hear a thing,
So nothing can get through,

And nothing can get out,

And you can't hear yourself,
And then you fall asleep.

Isn't that just the best thing,

That you could feel?
Wherever you are,

That peace and quiet?

Because when the music's loud
Your thoughts are silent.
...
243 · Sep 2020
Wishful
Ruheen Sep 2020
You know when you create this image in your head
Even though you don't want to
Because you're afraid of how you'll feel when that image completely shatters?
And you know that it will because that's just not how things are.
It's how things could be,
But probably not how they will be.
Wishful thinking. A fantasy.
241 · Oct 2019
I Don't Mind
Ruheen Oct 2019
No, I don't
I don't mind
The music's loud
We're in a crowd
But it's quiet

No, I don't
I don't mind
They're everywhere
But I don't care
'Cause I'm all alone

No, I don't
I don't mind
They're telling me
What to see
But I don't need to listen

No, I don't mind
But I really should.
...
241 · Sep 2019
Collateral Damage
Ruheen Sep 2019
Heaven rains down.
Hell rises up.
At dawn, they begin
Their search for dusk.
We mind.
We matter.
We run.
We scatter.
In the war between
All the higher powers,
All we are is,
Collateral damage.
We are used by all.
Favored by none.
241 · Jul 2020
The Falling Girl
Ruheen Jul 2020
As they passed the
Windows
And turned to watch
The people that
Watched
The girls who fell
Fell without a sound
But the ones who
Stood
On the ledge
And were pushed
Fell like rain
...
Because
Everyone could hear them fall.
Inspired by the short story 'The Falling Girl' by Dino Buzatti.
It's really good.
I'm gonna write a part 2.
This is my 300th public poem. :)
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