Why
Does living need to hurt?
I thought God was kind.
Were they all lies?
We might just be blind.

Oh wait,
I don't even believe
In him; it isn't real.

If it was, we would all
Be fine.

I pray.

a chill that you feel in your bones
when you know
how far you'll go
then you hold it in
the familiar feeling
when the cold settles in
and you don't
even know
there is ice on your window

People fall apart quite a bit.
A few times.
But not as much as me,
Because I fall apart quite a bit, too.
A few times a day.

I don't have a dream
Is that strange?
Is it supposed to be?
It isn't to me. At all.
I don't know anything
But why do I have to have a dream?
I won't find one
Even if I do,
I won't
Follow
It.

Forget about speaking and understanding.

If someone writes in a different language
To your own,
You wouldn't even be able to read it.

At least at first glance.
I'm sure if you stare at it
Hard and long enough,

You'd be able to make out something.

Shrouded in darkness.
My wall, my clothes and my thoughts.
I’m lost in darkness.
The girl they knew is gone.

Nothing is real
         Nothing is promised
                                   Nothing is true
                                                 But I'm being honest
                                                          ­           Take a step forward
                                                         ­                               Take a step closer
                                                          ­           Take a step with me
                                                 We'll fall a little over
                                   Do not trust me
             I won't trust you
Letting you down
             Is what I can do
                               The more you fall                
                                             The deeper you'll dive
                                                            ­          The more you hurt
                                                            ­                     The slower you'll die
                                                             ­         Maybe you'll end up
                                                Where I already am
                           Walk down the steps                                                       
    ­       If you think you can
A warning's been given
                 No time to dwell
                               Please, welcome to
                                                   The stairs of hell.

Lock the door.
Close your eyes.
Embrace the dark.
Slide down onto the floor.
Feel the cold wall.
Against your back.
Hit your head on the wall.
It sounds like a heartbeat.
Just listen carefully.
Block everything else out.
It keeps on going.
Then suddenly, it stops.
Just like your own.
Now, again.
Open your eyes.
See the light.
Embrace it.

Hope keeps us waiting,
and it leaves us like that

Turns out we don't need to use that many.

The littlest of lies
Conceal the largest truths.

Because the more extravagant your lie is
.
.
.
The less likely people are to believe it.

I know I'm growing.
I know I'm evolving.
I'm changing.
And that's not really the problem.
There actually isn't one.
It's just something I don't like.
I'm a kid.
I don't understand the real world.
And all it's problems.
I mean, that's what I'm told.
But what they don't know,
What they can't see,
Is that I do understand.
I'm a kid, but that doesn't mean,
I'm small.
That doesn't mean
I can't see past the dashboard.
I can see the causes, the effects,
I see the people.
But what I don't like,
Is when I feel like they're right.
I don't like it when I feel small.
When I can't see anything.
When I don't understand.
Because I'm just a kid.

I don't know anything.

I like the physical
Feeling
of vertigo
and dizziness
reeling
back
from blurry
ceilings
and voices
I can't
keep
around me
revealing
lines on
my wrists
with excuses
I can't sleep
I like the physical
feeling
of blood
on my skin
reeling
back
with pleasure
and sin
revelling
in the
metallic
taste
the peeling
back of
layers
with haste
The physical
feeling
of pain
that is
leaving
is beyond
those who
want to
keep
living

I don't bite...
Hell.
These days
I don't even bark.

No bite, no bark, nothing.

Being tired tires you.

Plus.

I got nothing to bite.

Take them off.
They’re blinding you.
They’re hiding reality.
Take them off
And you’ll see
A different world.
One not so happy.
It’s scary,
But it’s real.
And that is better
Than some fantasy.
We don’t need to hide
To be protected.
The world doesn’t need to hide
For our protection.
Because knowing
Is protection enough.
It’s just a different way
Of seeing things.
It’s a change of view.
A change of perspective.
A change.

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who will die, out of them all?

Please just pick one
We're running out of time
Make a choice, it's time to decide

One by one they'll die anyway
What's the point of making them wait?

Only one
That's all I'm asking of you
One for the rest, it's time to choose

Quick and painless, they'll be asleep
They won't feel a thing, trust me

Better now than later
Better safe,
Than sorry.

Rain drops
Rain falls
On my skin

Laughter
Fading
Escaping

Louder
Footsteps
No more hiding

Salty
Tears
Can't keep it in

Nothing good,
Not all of it bad.

I can't fake it
Even though they want me to

I can't help but be myself
I can't pretend
That pretending helps

Dress like you're perfect
Ignore if it's hurting
Smile like you understand

Expectations
So many reasons
None that make sense to me

Look the other away
Hope no one notices
Hide the tremble in your hand

Expectations
Still, have to face them
I'm stuck being their trophies

The pain gets too much
The edges get too rough
But you still have to stand

I can't see the light that leads
The end of the tunnel
Is too dark for me

I can't make it
Even though I want to

We really can't.
I'd imagine that would taste quite horrible.
Like paper.
Which is technically a tree...
Think about it.

If only
I had no problems
Maybe
Then I wouldn't be
So lonely
Stressed out mind
And open heart
Both so lonely
I can't tell
If I'm alright
If only
I wasn't breaking
Slowly
I wouldn't be
So lonely
Walking away
So coldly
If only
I wasn't so
(not) crazy
Then maybe
If only
I'm not lonely

Quiet, but loud.
Full, but empty.
Dark, but light.

It's rather contradicting.
As much as is it frustrating.