Why don’t you love who I am?
You only give me your attention or love
if I’m doing good in school.
You never loved me for the person I was. Only for the things I did that benefited you.

I am looking at ships alone
On the beach of forever
Peeking through clouds the moon shone
Thinking of you again, have I never?
On the beach of forever
Over the sea, under the trees or wherever
I hope my thoughts reach you
Are you thinking of me too?

~4/10/23

Whenever I love something,
it’s temporary like a bubble.
I see it but I cannot touch it,
for it will pop.
Bubbles are such fragile things.
How can something so lovable be so close and yet be untouchable,
unreachable,
unattainable?
It feels so unreal.
I can love them how much I want
but I can never have them.
Trapped outside the bubbles of my paradise.
Alone,
watching the things I love.

My hands start shaking.
I can feel my heart violently beating in my throat
threatening to choke me.
I can feel it hammering against my chest trying to break free
it’s like playing drums on my rib cage.
my brain stops completely
leaving me alone in the predicament.
I have no time, all my thoughts can be seen.
In the end, I always end up speaking nonsense.
With stutters and stammers interrupting each sentence.
Making them feel awkward and confused
about how to reply
to the nonsense I just spewed.

Flickering in my hands
It can destroy the lives of many
If I drop it on the dry wood floor under me
Or if I blow it out
It doesn't make a difference to me
It doesn't affect my life
But it's not who I am
~21/5/21

It becomes soggy and wet
The paper starts peeling off
Flimsy and weak
It starts to leak
The kids chewing around the rim
The teens filling them to the brim
I take a small sip from my cup
In my throat, I feel a lump
Playing with the paper peels that fell off
Under that layer, the paper fibres feel soft
The cup is my only friend here
My vision begins to smear
I wish I could just disappear
~21/5/21

You inflate my heart like a balloon
Filled with all your fake love
The pin you hold is always so dangerously close
Waiting for my balloon to pop anytime soon
Why do I still trust people with my heart?
When it ends up ripped apart
To the next person, I'm on restart
All remaining is the rubber parts
Popping all my love-filled hearts
~20/5/21

The small ripples that come from my fingers
Causing waves in the ocean
A tsunami killing millions
~20/5/21

I keep losing you
As I slowly grew
I'm still learning to let you go
You were here with me, laughing, a while ago
I still care for you though
Guess I gotta learn to let go
~

Do you remember?
When I was suffering
You ignored me
I'm still recovering
You still expect me to be there when you need me
Sorry, I'm not free
You're in so much pain? Well I disagree
You can't feel the pain I feel
All that happiness you could steal
Don't you remember?
You have quite a temper
Stop your whining
My feelings declining
I might have loved you once
For that, I was a dunce
Your feelings can go die for all I care
And don't you start talking about being fair
There's no return
All my feelings burn
~18/5/21

If you have a mother to celebrate mothers day with you are lucky
Wagging our tails for their affection like a baby puppy
What if that puppy was abandoned at birth
Because it didn't prove it's worth
What if that puppy grew up on its own
But it grew up alone
With no mother shown
It hasn't felt a mothers love
As pure as a white dove
It hasn't felt a mothers care
Why was it so unfair?
Is it wrong for it to compare
So much damage that needs repair
A mother and child, such a beautiful pair
If I had a mother I'd feel like a millionaire
10/5/21

It's all in text
It's on your books
You'll find it there
It's there
It is there
I'm sure of it
All your questions have been answered
Of course, it's there
What are you talking about?
What's your question?
Oh...
Well, you'll have to find that out on your own

Trudging through murky waters
It reaches up to my ankles
I know it goes deeper
But I'm waiting for the reaper
I feel it creeping up my legs, creating slippery tangles
My wet hair clinging to me in mangles
I slowly get pulled down
Waiting for myself to drown
Devoid of emotion
I'm pulled into an ocean
I feel nothing anymore
My feet are sore
From walking on this slippery floor
Please stop the pain
Before I go insane
8/5/21

Splashes of colour
I've never felt duller
Seeing through my rose-tinted glasses
I never saw the red flags
My heart now carries these heavy bags
My feelings torn to rags
Bright and red
I feel sick
Hit with a rose coloured brick
Red and bright
All flags insight
I squeeze my eyes tight
Wishing everything was alright
~4/5/21

Butterflies can’t see their own wings
That’s why they don’t know how beautiful they are
Maybe you’re a butterfly too
You just don’t know how beautiful you are yet

Tears rolling down my cheeks
Rain pouring on mountains
Water gushing down fountains
Ice frozen on its peaks
I've been crying for weeks
My cheeks still have the tear streaks
My eyelashes all wet
My eyes can't forget
Going over and over it makes me cry more
I keep sobbing on this cold floor
I can't hold it in anymore
Leaning against this rough wooden door
I let my tears pour
~25/4/21

The bust of colour I see coming from your smile
Your happiness radiates for a whole mile
The laughter in your eyes
The perfect disguise
I know what's behind that mask of love
Concealing the hate with a velvet glove
What you do when no one else can see
When there's only me
The way you make me beg and plea
How you cause me so much pain
Keeping me on a chain
How could a father cause so much pain
The pain that will drive me insane
That look of disdain
It's no longer humane
~24/4/21

Chocolate cakes from Cocoa beans
Vanilla cream from vanilla beans
Strawberries and small berries
Blueberries and raspberries
Juice made in squeeze machines
Put into pretty canteens
Sugary frosting and treats
Made into lovely sweets
Lemon cakes with lemon flakes
Powdered sugar sift on cakes
Apple and berry pies
A feast for the eyes
In the oven, they all rise
~20/4/21

Sweet and yellow
A dandy fellow
Syrupy in taste
It’s in no haste
Sugar laced
Translucent paste

Green twisted in bone
Moss growing on stone
The forest floor overgrown
Tree's groan and moan
A predator on its own
It makes its presence known
Its scars are clear and shown
Letting out a long howl
It continues its prowl
With a low growl
Overhead warns an owl
On this quiet night
The moon shines bright
Watching the fight
Blood shining in the light
~18/4/21

Honey so sweet
A truly tasty treat
A sweetness so complete
No one can beat
Syrupy and yellow
A dandy fellow
Tastes good on toast
I love honey the most
~17/4/21

Silence can be comforting
Silence can be calming
Silence can be harming
Silence can be deathly
Silence can be stealthy
In this silence, you can leave me
You can break me
Drown me in this silent sea
This silence is killing me
This silence is chaining me down
Leaving me to drown
While I wish to be free
In this silent sea
~15/4/21

You don't have to be the perfect puzzle piece
You can be the one that doesn't fit
Into societies roles, you don't submit
The one that stands out from the bland crowd
Do things your way and be proud
Amongst the thunderstorms, you can be the cute fluffy cloud
Amongst the frowns, you be the smile
Do things in your own style
Go at your own pace, it might take a while
~15/4/21

The tree softly whispered to me
It wished to be free
Just like me
It wished to walk
It wished to talk
It wished to swim in the sea
It wished to be like me
I listened to its plea
And all I could do was agree
All it did was sit on my lawn
My time with the tree had gone
I got up with a yawn
For it would soon be dawn
I smiled gently at the tree
I told the tree it was very dear to me
I couldn't breathe without it
It provided oxygen for me
I wanted it to see
That it was very precious to me
~13/4/21

They say
It's okay not to be okay
But do they really mean it




It is okay
Right?

Wings extended to its farthest
The soft wind under me
Lifting my wings higher
The tips gently dipping into the sea
Creating clear crystalline ripples
Being free is all I desire
I lift my wing and dive in
Aiming for the fishes fin
I go straight for the win
The chances of me getting out is thin
But I took the chance
Without a second glance
Being in the water holds me in a deathly trance
But to freedom, I must fight
Back to the light
And into my flight
~9/4/21

Black and white
Night and day
It's gonna be fine they say
I start to believe their lies
Thinking I'll be okay
And in a way
To my very surprise
They are not lies anymore
~9/4/21