At the end of the day it only comes down to how proud you are of yourself. Of how you picked yourself up every time you fell. It's not about how minuscule or gigantic something you've gone through is as compared to others, rather, how only you and you alone would have experienced that magnitude. It is impossible to compare yourself to another, every human's timing is different. It's all about the determination and willpower, the fire in your bones and the steady, grounding thoughts in your mind that drove you to become softer, yet heal your wounds and to stand taller and walk with pride. It's all about the lessons you learnt from every single instance when this dreary and somewhat bleak world pushed you down. You are not a graveyard of your failed attempts, you are not a cemetery of things and people that left you alone, you are the whole ocean, filled with a plethora of potential and goodness, that the whole world gazes at and admires.
To whoever needs this reminder.
Truth is, I let things hurt till they hurt no more.
But now fawn has turned into
Violet, indigo, black,
Birthing a whole new universe.
Black | shevaun stonem
I want to run away from you,
like running away from home
and I know you will not chase me
for a while, you’d like to be alone.
But I’m sure one day, you will
wander out too, in this world
of colour, art and pain.
And all I ever taught you,
will finally sound sane
and when you navigate this on your own
seeking out ‘you’
at every destination,
you’ll find me there too.
Find me | shevaun stonem
After leaving I thought I knew it all,
and that’s the worst part.
Because all I ever wanted was silence
but now the silence pierces
like a dart.
And I thought I was strong to walk away
from ruins- but tell me,
does it take more strength
to walk or build, in all honesty?
And all the words I chanted to my heart
are the opposite of what I now croak
from the bottom of an empty bottle,
from the hollow of my soul,
from the redness of my eyes,
from the fullness of my mind
and every ounce of my wit
now only proclaims,
you made me a hypocrite.
hypocrite | shevaun stonem
been there, felt that too?
and every night
when you steal
seconds to glance
at the moon, I
hope you slip
into hours, days of
running through your bones,
moving like the stars,
that maybe I was
not made to be the sun,
and all I did was
reflect to show you,
that the moon was
never second best,
just a reminder of you,
when you shone
i am the moon | shevaun stonem
the reason why some of us resonate more with the moon than the sun :)
I love him because he is the best part of me. He is someone so perfect and put together, who knows not just what they’re doing but also succeeding at. I love him because he’s smart and capable, and one of those rare gems. I love him because the chase is neverending and his taste is royal, so if he chooses me, I’m no less than royalty. I love him because I want to be the perfect love and lover and I don’t find anyone else worthy. I love him because I want to have the privilege of being loved by him and I know I can love and serve him in ways no other woman could ever do. I love him because I want to continue holding his heart in my hands and as promised will never let go. I love him because I know all that he needs is time, and if his isn’t enough, I’ll give him mine.
I promise to hold your heart in my hands no matter how heavy it gets. I still crave the touch of it weighing down on my bones. I promise to fiercely protect your heart with every inch of my being and surround it with my love. For in mine you have carved a space, one that can be filled by no other. Tell me how am I supposed to replace this breath of life with another. So I will guard it as precious as my own. It is worth more than the treasures of the Earth. Yours is the heart I want to see blossom and bloom, in rain and shine, in chaos and peace. Your heart will never be too heavy for my hands, for breath is always a kiss on skin.
I want to hold your heart in my hands
I want to cherish you for the rest of your life
I want to build and stand by you
In the darkest night and brightest day
You will always be my muse
For never again will I see another pair of eyes
That has shown me who I am
Never before have I known a pair of arms
That has held me safely within
Never before have I seen such strength
That’s perfected in love and joy
And to this, I shall confess
I want to love you as dearly
As eternal life itself.
I am no longer running away
from what I said.
They know and I know
I am smart,
so never again will I lie saying,
"I don't know."
But God give me the strength to say,
Out of respect for my privacy,
I do not wish for you to know."
drop a like to claim your privacy too!
Let your feet direct you to the streams of life,
And your eyes lead you to see the light.
May your hands give of the fruit
Those your heart beats with compassion for,
May your ears hear the choir of angels
To soothe your mind,
To cleanse the weight
You carry in your bones.
I have seen the miracle of life,
There is nothing one can do to make me
Stop believing in Love.
We sit across
each other over
cups of coffee-
like we don’t know
the exact order.
like you don’t know
my favorite movie.
like I don’t know
the last time you cried.
like we don’t know
like we don’t know
we never truly died.
like we don’t know | shevaun stonem
there's something about history
Everything for the man who died on a cross, who even in his last hour, believed I was worth it all.
The Love of Christ
I want to fit in the crevice of your arm
All tangled up in your bones
I want to sway to the rhythm
Of divine music that never ends
Come back to me my love
I need to feel your heart pressed against mine
I want to kiss your lips and miss
And be right again.
I need to feel your warmth
Embracing me whole
And hold your love in me
Building us a home.
The masterful stroke of an artist’s hands
Comes from broken fingers and cut wrists
Hands that have been dragged through hell
And rested in heaven,
That creates real mastery.
He still looks at me
Like I'm his Meredith. Make
of it what you want.
A Grey's Anatomy inspired haiku
some days I am more
wolf than woman
and it’s hard to hide my fangs.
I’ll hiss and snarl and spit the blood
of those who trespass against my land.
some days I am more
wolf than woman
and it’s not that hard to understand.
I cannot be tamed or caged or chained,
I am the alpha of the pack.
some days I am more
wolf than woman
and there is no strength I lack,
but hiding and camouflaging
with the sheep
does not make my fur more black.
most days I am more
wolf than woman,
and you’ll find me bathe
underneath the moonlight.
in the slightest of mannerisms
you’ll discover, it’s not that
easy for me to hide.
hunting and guarding and marking
until the weary day turns to night.
in the way, that I tread the land
these claws covered by a pretty coat
and smiling- hah, no that’s the
predator baring her fangs to show you
how it’ll dig into your throat.
more wolf than woman | shevaun stonem
where's my fellow wolf pack?!
O Mother of He who is Love Himself
I run to your golden abode. Seek for me the grace
to be like you.
To love like you,
to serve like you
to obey like you.
May my mind be Heaven bound,
Seeking the good with my hands
Speaking the truth with love
Sharing my warmth and your light.
Take from me the darkness,
the weight that weighs me down
making my eyes heavy and teary.
Fill me with your light, that I may never falter,
on my path, to share the love.
The most perfect woman to exist, help me imitate you.
Today will pass
And so will the days that follow after.
It will not be the same,
But it will be okay.
The pain stings, numbs, and sometimes
Leaves a stain,
But you have to make sure
None of this is in vain.
Don’t meet it with eyes that analyze
And try to quantify the pain,
There’s only so much you will discover
All to your disdain.
Sometimes it feels as though you’re not worthy
Of making good things last,
But that’s why the present is the present,
And the past, is the past.
it’s funny how I
write of things I
know and things I
don’t- and someone,
poetry and prose.
poetry and prose | shevaun stonem
as writers and readers, I'm sure this resonates
but I know
just as a cat flinches
when you move to pet it,
so do I.
we both no longer know the difference between
affection and attack.
On abuse and assault
Oh come to me my beloved
how long shall you stray from me
perfect love drives out fear
and I long for your heart to be opened to me
Let me fill you with all my love
to be your fortress and strength
let me nourish you from the depths of my being
that you may prospoer and be king,
for what is a woman without her man
how is she to be his helper
when he is afraid to seek her help.
Still, I rise from the ashes
And pieces unknown.
Moments and memories,
Dreams and mourns.
Still, I rise like a plant
That first pushes away the dirt
Growing towards the sun
In joy and mirth.
And for the grass to seem greener,
It has to constantly rain.
And while it may seem duller,
It washes away my pain.
And I’ll rise from my remains
Like a Phoenix from its ashes,
A winner born out of
Broken dreams, hopes, and wishes.
here's an ode to all those who continue to persevere no matter how hard it gets. keep going, you got this. you really do!
No greater love than that of the Man who died on a cross, who even after agony and suffering, being crowned with thorns and mocked, with all of His last breath, believed I was worth it all.
The love of Christ
I see it in his eyes,
I recognize it too,
The love is back
And it's oh so true.
How I missed his loving gaze
And the softness in his eyes
A gentle smile of warmth
Of laughter and fun too.
There’s wonder and joy and magic
Something I thought we outgrew
All it took was patience
And we’d see the rain through.
Be there for your loved ones in tough times, storms don't last forever.
like a drug,
i just can't get enough
the side effects are
the pain of looking
your addiction in the eyes and
being reminded of how
you first died.
but there's no more
a reason to relapse,
no more season for sobriety:
so I stare at
my human addiction
in the eyes,
hoping he's also
a human drug
then tell me why have we barely touched
but your bones feel like home,
why is your aroma-
my only known cologne.
then why does your heart pace at the same rate as mine,
synchronized thoughts and breaths
bringing us back together
time after time.
What is the deal with boundaries
When it comes to the things we love,
Why is it inexhaustible and all-consuming-
how do we make it stop?
Do you have trouble setting boundaries with those you love because you are scared of upsetting them?
The absence of one
Tells of the presence of the other.
The hollow teaches you gratitude for the fill,
The excess teaches you the necessity of emptiness.
One cannot exist exclusively,
For all of eternity,
There must always be a season for reaping and sowing,
For rain and shine,
For togetherness and distance,
Lest we forget the importance of their union.
I sway my legs
at the table he built
the wood smells fresh
and it's about to rain.
I've waited for this
and now it's true,
just hold on to love
and see it through.
You deserve a slow and peaceful life
You deserve to breathe and live calmly
To live in such safety and security that
You can stop to listen to the leaves rustling in the breeze
And stand basking in the sun
Without the thought of someone disrupting your order
Even crossing your mind.
You deserve to sleep in still and quiet
Not worrying about the chaos one would strike
Just as you gently wake up.
You deserve to move in joy
To know you return home to love and more joy.
To have people that genuinely care
And will give you the truest peace.
— The End —