I was walking through the grey rainy streets, another melancholic day.
Proud English flags hung up in the windows of council houses.
What are we so proud of anyway?
A country run on ignorance and blaming the minority, the government wonders why we have a problem with authority?
So we will focus on the youth that are disengaged and abstaining from voting.  Don't mention those who are hungry, unemployed and hurting.
Ssh, if we keep it quiet then maybe nobody will notice.
Close your eyes while the darkness approaches.

Nothing's worse than this stupid self hate
Meaningless self harm brings no tears to my eyes
The only one who could hurt me was you
You hurt me soon enough, which was no surprise

Black clouds are looming down
Whilst the sunlight pierces eyes
Walls crawl ever closer
Each face another disguise
Each muscle aching
Skin tingles with anticipation
Will you finally rest tonight?
Or will the morning draw closer with your desperation?

The leaves have fallen
And the wind bites my face.
Weakening ,as though by body knows
how much of me was taken with you.
An empty vessel that was once filled with your love,
My heart breaks with every inhalation.

I search for your eyes on every face,
your smile in every dream.
Seeking the sky for comfort,
I know the brightest star shines down on me.

I'm so deep inside my mind that my life is no longer being lived.
The mind and body are detached.
It's as if I'm watching a play; I've not seen it before but I know the outcome of every scene.
There are no surprises anymore, nothing new, nothing to spark an idea. Everything has happened before, every word said before me.
What difference am I making by repeating words and actions of others?
I'm not.
The meaning of my life is to make others happy, to ensure those I meet never know how it feels to be lonely, hurt or unloved.
This is not a difference you can make when you are trapped in despair.
If the meaning of life is compromised, then life itself is, too.
Why live a life with no meaning?
There is no reason at all.

If nothing, She was a statue in the whistling wind
A perfect notion, an ideal image
Her heart no longer beating
for lack of love and not eating

Still
A lonely tear falls down her cold cheek
Falling
Into the unknown
Into the dark, dismal world
Where a beautiful soul was frozen
Where a beating heart was broken

The taunts, the tears, the laughs and stares
feeling as though nobody cares
A life bound to a distorted reflection
Chasing the unachievable dream of perfection

He can't settle down
Wandering the world from town to town
Hungry for more than what he was given
Tasting the sweetness of that which was forbidden
Can't settle down
Exploring the world one town at a time
Drinking love from those his heart held hostage
Thirsty for knowledge
Can't settle down

Hurt myself again today
Lost myself again today
Lost in your eyes
Hurt with your despise

Left out in the dark
Nowhere to go
Nobody to save me
When I'm feeling so low

What's wrong with the world?
No hope to be found
Love crushed on the ground
A world full of dreams
Broken by reality

What's wrong with me?
Sometimes i do have fears
Sometimes i can't stop the tears
You can stop them from falling

You don't want to be lonely like the people you have *** with.
You don't understand the ones you love are perceptive.
I've watched you wish your life away and blame it all on strangers.
Performing to the audience, hoping someone takes notice of the lies.
You're not as detached as you show through your disguise.

Do not take me as I am
I am not the person you wish me to be
I am lost, in the search of clarity.
Ironic though it must be.

Nobody knows
They can't tell my pain
They can't see my tears
They won't feel my hunger
They won't notice until I fade away

Excuses.
My life is built on them
Excuses and lies.
My mind is full
Yet my stomach is not

Who would know?
That happy girl,
That chubby, happy girl
She's crying inside
There's a disease in her mind
She's struggling
I'm struggling.

I'm too far gone

Red is a flower, a stunning rose
Red is the colour of the hat that i chose
Red is a ruby
A beautiful Jewel
Red is anger that makes me cruel
Red is a colour in the rainbow above
Red is the colour that resembles love
Red is the colour of blood that i shed
Red is the reason that i am now dead

I see them in your eyes
Darkest colours of the night
Fearless smile to brighten the skies
Light the way to my heart

I'll be strong today.
Nobody will know what is wrong, today.
Open my eyes
Watch the sun rise
As I start the burning process
I'll buckle under stress
As I continue hurting.

I Fill myself with hopes and dreams,
So why?
Why does the pang of hunger hang over my head?
Why isn't it enough, to make myself beautiful,
To make myself just get out of bed?
Each morning I'll be strong.

But I know it will never last
as I continue to hide my past.
I endure the present
and look forward to the future.
As if she hasn't taken that already.

If I endure this pain
For longer still
Would it make you happy
To watch me bend my natural will?
Bones can break and hearts may shatter
But my mind stays crumbling in its cage
Begging to be released
Mending itself nonetheless
They say that Angels live trapped on earth, suffering to be back in heaven.
Angels too pure for this world, will leave to return to purer lands.
I wish that were true, to tell myself there's somewhere for me to run to.
When I end my agony on Earth,
It will follow me.

When I'm out on my own
These thoughts that cross my mind
Of you and I laughing in the rain
Sitting on a park bench drinking champagne
I have always loved you
When I'm out on my own

Your eyes light the drunken night
Navigating our dreams in the sky
Your hand fits in to mine
Only when the hazy stars align
I have always loved you
When I'm out on my own

But I don't miss you when you're gone
And I don't need you like you wish I would
In the morning I'll be boarding the fastest train away from you
But I will always love you
When I'm out on my own

There are so many ways to tell you I love you
but they have all been said before and the words less true.
Instead I'll tell you a story, an anecdote, if you will.
One in which I hope you will  find meaning.
Although the sentiment bears no embarrassment,
it may be a little revealing.
I've recently become obsessed with light.
I fantasise composition of sketches, I photograph flames contrasting their sinister shadows.
Oh, how light intrigues me!
A broad topic of fascination and awe, my thoughts scatter with wonder.
Yet, amidst this fantasy, I see you in every shade.
It's not that you are "the light of my life" or even "the light in the dark"; although I do see you in twinkles of a spark.
My love of light comes from a deep-rooted passion;
for finding combinations with enthusiasm.
How is it possible that light could affect mood?
Look at Rembrandt's etchings and you'll understand my point of view.
Light doesn't just enrich dark and vice versa.
Each subtle tone and shade compliment each other and reveal what another cannot.  
That is what you are,
you reveal the best light in me,
you are my favourite shade.

Skin tingles
Blood boils
Life flashes
Burning midnight oil

Eyes twitching
Fingers scratching
Feet tapping
Tossing and turning

Pressure for perfection
Mind racing
Body pacing
Criticising every inch

Panic set
Calm exterior
Pressure
Pressure
Pressure
Of feeling inferior

If love is the measure of a man, then what is a man without love?
A man without love is a man without pain
A man without grief
A man without love is a man without responsibility
A man without humility
A man without love can do as he wishes, for he has not a care in the world.
If love is the measure of a man, I'd rather be unmeasurable.

He opened his eyes to the morning light,
As he spoke his mind he said things will be alright.
But when the end of the day draws close,
the anticipation lingers whilst the shadows filled his lungs.
He tried desperately to gasp for light; he was alone in the cold night.
The last luminesce on the edge of an empty wine bottle dwindles.
The second glass a reminder of love never to be rekindled.

You broke my heart
And tore me in two
Now i'm the *****
For breaking up with you

This isn't fair
This isn't right
Not everything is black and white

You told me i was hated
You told me you never actually loved me
That i deserve to be Unhappy

Now you want me back
Now i'm the love of your life
Well guess what?
You hurt me and you're not going to do it twice

I'm moving to London Town
To find myself
With 8.6 million people around
Hectic calm surrounds me
Reminded I have nothing to fear
With strangers standing by my side
Conversations in my head disappear

I used to dream of being alone
No soul to interrupt my solitude
Allowing my thoughts and mind to roam
Through the lands of sour regret
Imagining I'm better off self abused
Than to chance a casual thought of you

And yet here I am in London Town
With 8.6 million people around
And still, not a sound

When thy rose buds part
Sweet nightingales song
Whispers upon the wind once more

Never loved anyone as much as I hate you
Never felt so much rage as when I'm with you
Never wanted to die as much as you keep me alive
And yet when we sleep at night you turn to the other side.

You lay awake again tonight
Dreaming of whispered lies
Uttered in the darkest winter
When summer rolled around again,
Whispers flew away with the wind

Sitting on a train waiting,
Looking at all the beautiful people
Surrounding me with their naivety
Ignorantly bypassing the sunset
The way the trees frame the clouds
The last glimmer of light fading
Landing at a girls face
Wrapped in her blanket crying
Pretending not to notice the stares
Trying to believe somebody cares
Head in her hands listening to music
Imagining worlds in which she exists
As more than just another ******* a train, trying to find her way home.

To say a piece of me is missing would be another cliche without meaning. So I'll say this:
With every tear you break my heart
With every adventure you're at the start
With every journey you're the destination
With every answer you pose another question

I know the secrets of the universe;
I fear you will deny the truth.

I bare my soul to shed some light
On why I cannot sleep tonight
Fifty-three torturous hours
Waiting for my mind to settle
But the sea never quiets
and the waves are always crashing.
I'm crumbling down in flames of passion

Water burn me
Cascade down me
Scold me

Food comfort me
Fill me with regret
Consume me

Music haunt me
Surround me with grief
Befriend me

Knife blind me
Slash through this sorrow
Heal me

'Truth will out', these words will haunt me.
My truth is nothing but bitterness behind watering eyes.
For my truth will shatter worlds as fragile as your heart.
My truth lies in each dreary hour, in every sleepless night.
Let my truth bind you, let it reel you in.
Make you powerless, uncomfortable in your skin.
Let my truth reveal your demons, realise your flaws.
Let my truth entice you, as my love withdraws.
My truth is nothing but bitterness behind watering eyes.
Truth will out.

Lying in bed, silently shaking
As the wolves draw ever closer
Lifeless in fear I wait
The darkness fades away
My mind runs wild with anticipation
For the darkness draws closer
And the wolves reawaken

I try not to remember because it hurts to know;
The lives we've built have no connection to what's held before us.
Sitting in our bricks and mortar admiring how well we've imagined success.

Do you remember the land?
Do you remember how we cared?
Do you remember the dreams we once shared?

We'd dream of happiness throughout the world,
of singing in the sun and laughing in the rain,
of dancing through fields with the ones that meant most.
Doing all that we could,
to stand up for what's good.

Do you remember the land?
Do you remember how we cared?
Do you remember the dreams we once shared?

Now we dream of money to impress,
of violence to end fighting,
somebody to save the generation and clear up our mess.
Hurting the vulnerable, to help those with the most.

Do you remember the land?
Do you remember how we cared?
Do you remember the dreams we once shared?

So I'll sit on this train through the rolling hills,
quietly pondering our existence.
Whilst you think of how to ensure your faltering fantasies,
and offer our Earth no assistance.

Dream big
Small talk
Running wild
Lost in thought
Keep quiet
Never question
Small talk
Lost in thought