If I could look into your eyes, I would tell you how I feel.
If I could look into your eyes, you would see that I'm for real.

If I could look into your eyes, you would see I adore you most.
If I could look into your eyes, at the same time I'd hold you close.

My heart is a lock, but my darling, you are the key.
I admire you so much, you just don't know what you do to me!

Tell me what you want. Your wish is my command.
When the chips are down, then by your side is where I'll stand.

I don't care about your present. I don't care about your past.
All I want is a chance to be with you is all I ask.

I watch you from a distance. I desire your affection, but when
you look my way I have to look in another direction.

I try to gather my thoughts. I try to make a way; but when I
see you, I loose control, not knowing what to say.

How could I come across to get my point of view?
I wonder if you even know that I have a crush on you.

I adore everything you do. I cherish everything that you say.
You make me blush, smile, laugh, and sing...you surely make
my day!

My whole day could be bad. I could be sad and blue,
but you change it all just by simply looking at you.

So I hope you get this letter; being with you is my only
wish. I will now close this letter and I seal it with a kiss.

Please accept my letter, for your affection I desire.
Signed, sealed, delivered, it is I, your secret admirer.

I still don't sleep well at night sometimes. I miss you, whoever you are, or maybe I just miss having someone close to me I can put all of this love into, an outlet for my affection. Whatever the case, I spend my waking moments wondering where you are and my moments asleep wondering when. It's honestly getting harder to tell the difference between the two, the two infinite worlds of possibility where wild, unexpected things happen. Or don't. Sometimes the reality is more interesting than the dream.

There's a certain sense of tranquil quiet when you're lonely that I can only appreciate for about 5 minutes before my heart grips against its iron bars, looking for a key or a file or a spoon to leap its way out of my chest to freedom and adventure. It writes Morse code letters on skipped heartbeats to you, but I am a miserable translator and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my past, for all the wrongs I've committed in the nebulous black leviathan night, the almost-nightmare state of bleariness and hypnotic suggestibility. Clarity only comes when you spirit your marble curved likeness in the warm wooded embrace I do so long for in waking life.

I ramble and you float away, O kind angel of faint hope, white stone wings beating tremendously in sync like the buzzer of an alarm clock, striking me asleep again for daylight, somnambulating across the barren black-tar desert in search of water and finding only more black sand.

The nights have become more torturous without your colorless gaze. Please get here soon so I can tell you about how I've known you all my life.

With fondest regards,
Christian

The orb of night is pulchritudinous tonight,
And not a breath of life in this house seems to notice.
My eyes on you, Your eyes on me,
Viciously music trapped between the bed and windows;
Innocents tiptoeing along the hall,
And us.
While walking towards your car,
I suppose inferring that:
The orb is pulchritudinous tonight,
But what I decry is meant for self-revelation or not at all.
You look at me and smile.
I will always admire the way you glow is so generous to,
Those unaware of the way she fills my eyes.
A delicate modesty.
You open my door,
And I am thankful;
But can’t help wishing to be with someone who notices that,
The Orb is Pulchritudinous tonight.

Of all the things we’ve shared together,
I will always remember…
The first time we hung out,
And how I had the best time with you.
How happy I felt getting to know you.

Our first kiss,
And how your lips felt against mine,
The first time you told me that you loved me,
And how that moment became a memory
I’ll never forget.

I love everything about you,
And anything that reminds me of you.
Because for me,
It will always be you…

People ask me why I do it.
How do I manage being here
When my Love is
1,446 miles away
Thirteen states away
One time zone away.

"How do you do it?"
"I could never do a long distance relationship." They say.
"I would never be able to handle it."

Well, the truth is
The way I can handle it
The way that helps me to "cope"
Is purely the fact
That my relationship is not
a Long Distance Relationship at all.

In this Love miles may be tangible
but they are everything but definable.
We had Love before there was a distance
and that distance will never be used to
Define us.

No matter how many miles there may be
I can still feel her Spirit with me.
Her laugh rings in my ears when I can barely muster a chuckle
Her fingers gently touch my skin when I drift off away at night
I can hear the gentle yawn of her voice when I get up saying,
"Good morning."
I can feel her singing along with me in the car to our Song when my voice cracks.

Our relationship is not a Long Distance Relationship.
Just because there is distance
does not mean that distance defines It.
She isn't absent until I come home
or when he visits me
My Love is always here.
She may be in whispers, and small chuckles, and light sighs
But a part of her is always here
Always with me
Always there
and I can feel it.

So in a sense
our Long Distance Relationship
has no distance at all.
Because creating distance means to separate or to bring apart
And that's not what our relationship does in the slightest.
If anything
these 1,446 miles bring us closer
Closer than we could ever imagine.

I'm not saying that I enjoy
not being able to physically see her everyday.
But this chapter in our Love is not hard or difficult or too much to handle
And it certainly isn't bringing us apart.
Because we both do not see any other option
This is worth it.
This is right.
This is It.
This is the kind of "It" that everyone talks about
we all hope for "It", search for "It", even die for "It."
and we are so blessed to have found It so early.

So these 1,446 miles will not be permanent
but they are so indescribably worth it.

I find everything absolutely breathtaking.

How can you not think your gorgeous yet,
Sparkling hazel nut eyes aren't the most,
Intriguing things?
They are breath taking and powerful,
enough to give me nervous
Butterflies!

You see the way the clouds capture the sun,
Making,
If only for a second,
The perfect bittersweet scene.
The suns final goodbye,
Makes,
A final goodbye makes a masterpiece,
That is impossible to recreate.

Exposed to the damp smell,
Of the rainy earth,
Or the tingling's pinpricks of snow flakes,
resting on your fare skin.

Your time,
Taken,
To get as close as you can,
To the galaxies that construct,
The roof above you to explore.

They are fascinating at night,
When each star becomes Luminous,
Against the Black of Night.

If it's him and not me, go. 
Please go. 
Don't make this any harder. 
My heart has been through tornados and tsunamis,
But nothing could prepare it for this. 
For you leaving. 
For this heartache.
For you are choosing him over me. 
Over 
And over. 
Again
And again. 

If it's him and not me, leave.  
Take your bags and walk out the door.
But don't you dare look back,
You've left me before. 
Without a doubt in your mind,
And I was a fool to let you back into my heart. 
This time was the last time. 
This is your choice. 
You choose.  
It's him. 
Not me. 
So go.

How do I do this.
Cause the pain
Pain of the flock of crows
Impaling the love of her
Her they say,
Is the most rewarding and beautiful humanbeing on the planet.
But I,
I'm nothing...

I'm sorry that I'm like this.
Weak
Ugly
Arrogant
Selfish
I'm not the man you married.
I'm a coward. And will be for the rest of my life.
I'm not worth it. I'm not even worth anything.

I love you so much.
So so much.
My love for you is
Deeper than the ocean
Higher than the pines.

But my Pines are on fire and burning.
I'm dangerous
I'm ruining you every single day.
How can you be with someone like me.
How?
I'm so toxic.
Toxic..

I wish I can. Take it all back.
But I can't
You won't ever forgive.
And I cant forgive myself
For what I did to you.
I make you
cry and cry and cry
It kills me...

I'm sorry

I'm the Monster.

As the sea is dolorous
My soul is untamable
As the moon perpetuate the sea
One can make me conclusive
But who can bottle that be?

The sea may reverberate
My affection may extravasate
The moon dispassion the waves
Of my life's precipitation
Who can prevail against me?

As deep as the sea
Is my love and my heart
As the moon faultless the sea
I need someone to quiescent me
Who can rival me?

The sea is so atramentous
As is my disposition
The moon luminosity it's light
Can someone genuinely love me
And make me whole?

I need a camaraderie
Like the moon and the sea
Commensurate and exhaustive
Come find me
If you dare
I'm lost at sea.

Something valuable, precious even
Sometimes painful
But always hard to contain, hide, or forget
All encompassing
Powerful
Forever.

I see everything absolutely breathtaking.

How can you not think your gorgeous yet,
Sparkling hazel nut colored eyes,
Aren't the most intriguing possessions?
They are breath taking and powerful,
Enough to give me nervous butterflies.

Do you see the way the clouds capture the aubade,
Making if only for a second,
The perfect luscious scene.
The aubades final adieu,
Makes a masterpiece that is,
Unimaginable to create.

Exposed to fluorescent damp smell of the rainy Earth,
Or the enchanting pin perforation of snowflakes,
Laying,
Reposing,
Relaxed,
On your fare skin.

Your time,
Seized,
To get close as you can to the galaxies,
That construct the roof above you to explore.
They are ludicrous at midnight,
When each aubade becomes,
Luminous against the obsidian of vigorousness.

bathed myself in bleach
and scrubbed my skin with rubbing alcohol
when i light myself on fire
i feel somewhat better
and i have swept the kitchen floor a lot
almost obsessively
but when i walk around i still feel dirt on the bottom of my feet
i am surprised i still have the ability to feel anything
i tried drinking gasoline and licking flames

i am a freak
a coward
so things didn't work out
still,
i am used to disappointment
and,
i am used to hating myself

We laughed as we watched,
We smiled as we played.
Then suddenly came a Romeo
To surprise your day.He asked to play,
You nodded to agree.

Little did you know?
He set it up for you.
You spoke of numbers,
He moved the options,
You chose one paper,
There popped the question.
Go with me? He had written,
You sat staring, not saying a word.
Actually shocked and yet a bit smitten.
Jeers surfaced, wolf whistles released.
Your cheeks' red however, somehow increased.
Your heart was pounding,
Was this really true?
I guess so,
Since You said __ to Him.

My love for the lord,
My God;
I love you so much,
You'll Save me from my sin;
You are life,
Your are my soul.

I know I'm being blinded by my shadow.
My shadow of sin.
Satan is concurring soul.
With the addiction he has given me.

My God,
Defeat this Evil.
Thou my Father,
You are the one.
Please heal me,
Set me free from addiction.

Expand my Spiritual Life,
So I can live in your grace.
You are my life,
Set me new.
Your here with me always.

We all are so terrified to live entity,
To genuinely be gracious,
To genuinely giggle,
Or howl .

And to pageant the world,
Who we truly are,
But yet, all so awed to die,
We are terrified of unfamiliar,
And loom.

To show our sensitivity, and our repentance,
Anxious of what others might convey,
To our face,
And trailing our back.

What's left to do?

I won't let myself douse,
In the agony of society,
Encompassing me.

I will emerge,
I will emotionally respect,
With every spark,
Of light in me.

I will be the discrepancy.

There is only thing I want
Is to see your beautiful blue eyes
holding you hand while i drive
hear your voice singing to the radio
feeling your energy

I miss you
every moment that you are here
I'm going to not stop loving you
life is to short

Amor
lets lay together
stare into each others eyes
not say a word

The thing is miss the most
is that feeling...

Love