Too many ******* insecurities,
And where there's insecurities,
There is never any safety.

If it hurts it's not the end,
Apparently,
So if it's not the end it's the beginning.
Bam!
The start of eternity.

Some violent thoughts,
And just no words,
Or too many words with no thoughts.
There should be this and that,
More like nothing you'll ever get,
Oh yeah and more nothing of that.

These words will soon drift,
But they won't fit through the sieve.
Mind you,
There's not much for you to chew,
Because this **** likes to vanish,
From the eyes of those who might care.

In a world of too many stares,
I don't think anyone really cares,
Unless it's about themselves.
We all worry about what others perceive,
Blind to the fact we all think the same thing,
So really are people judging us,
Or just judging themselves through those in the way?

Greedy eyes,
Hungry for the unknown prize,
It's too bad that nobody will win.
It's the game of life and risk combined,
The world is our board,
And we are the character pieces.
No more, no less.
Too much more.
Too much less.

You can draw a line under what has happened,
But it's still gonna be there on the page.
And you can clean the blood away,
But you'll still always see it there.
You can cry for nights on end,
But you're still gonna have tears left.
You can shout and you can scream,
But you'll still have to sit and watch.
You can say you're giving up,
But you're still going to have to do it.
You can fall onto the ground,
But people will still wait for you to get up.
So you can do whatever you want,
But there's still going to be things you have to do.
I guess some of us just have to take the long route.

I believe in a beautiful place,
Where suffering does not exist.
This place is light and airy.
No one there ever feels down.
It's a place full of happiness without suffering sorrow.
Everything makes sense when you will go there.
No one is hurt,
Life is of fairness,
Poverty is not such a thing,
Everyone is equal and granted their rights.

Where you are now you can cry.
You'll be upset and have to suffer,
And see others suffer.
You decide which is worse.
The meaning of things aren't always seen.
And when you're here and you're on your knees,
Just picture one thing:
I know there's a place out there,
Where there is no suffering,
No one feels pain,
Everything is fair,
Everyone's happy and there are no worries,
It's beautiful and makes you sure of things.

This place is far from where you are now,
But I know you will get there.
Because where you are now is the earth,
And that place I'm sure you'll go is heaven.
So spend these hard days knowing you'll get there.
Know that you're worth it and so is this trip.
Remember Jesus died for us,
So that we can go to heaven with him.
I promise you will be rewarded for doing good things.

There are many things that I still don't know,
But I know our Heavenly Father loves us.
If you allow it this will comfort you a whole lot.
I know it comforts me.
God pulls me through each day.
Just like a real father;
He will never leave you,
He'll always comfort you,
Always help you,
Always love you.
I may not have a dad like the others,
But I know we all have our Heavenly Father.
I know he didn't put me here alone,
Because besides my family I have him.
He'll watch over me when I cry,
Even when I'm not nice to be seen.
He doesn't care because relentlessly he loves us all,
It doesn't matter how lovable we seem.
I know he'll always be there.

I don't want to need you anymore,
Sick and tired of you not being there.
It's not my problem anymore.
It's my fault, it's my stupid brain.
I have to imagine things to make me happy,
I get too **** caught up in them.
Well not now and not anymore,
Because I've changed my mind.
I'm not gonna depend on things anymore.
I've always thought I'd never need anyone,
Yet I imagine myself with people.
I don't have them and them I don't want.
I want myself and that's enough.
I'm going to live my life.
Take what is mine and maybe one day I will leave you behind.
Maybe one day I won't like you at all.
It's all good for me,
You're not pleasing, you see.
But if you ever change your mind.
I guess part of me will still be waiting,
However I can't afford to wait behind.
So for those feelings it is goodbye.
Hopefully I'll know what it's like to just friendly like you.

Blood means nothing once it's faded away,
Or maybe it never had the chance to stay.
Genetics don't mean a thing,
When you've never had the chance to know.
Blood means nothing,
Because you don't care so now I don't care.
If one day you decide to care,
Well then you've lost your chance.
You can see the blood smeared on the walls.
They mean nothing at all.
Our blood has now changed.
Goodbye to a never known "man."

Apparently this is how rebounds are.

I guess I've never loved enough,

To ever have one on a crush.

Well I've never been in love.

I can surely say though,

That I love this one very much.

His face is ingrained into my mind.

The familiar name scribbled on my heart.

How long will it try to tear me apart?

Whenever I see him,

Real or in pictures,

That is when my heart bursts.

At random times my heart aches.

I literally feel it crying in my chest.

My brain also won't let me forget.

I will always love that one.

I did, I do and I still will carry on.

Now someone else though,

Threatens to steal his place.

I don't want to let him in,

But I can tell he's creeping in.

I can tell that it would be nice,

But he has nothing on him.

I can daydream both of them up.

He is still my number one.

Seeing his picture,

Is what makes my heart swirl.

It must be curiosity.

I've heard about rebounds.

Of course I never understood.

If this is one then are you sure,

That they are not an evil curse.

It attacks me inside.

Making me feel so guilty,

Does it show on the outside?

Apparently you can rebound from a crush.

Let's be honest that's all he is,

Even if I think it's more.

To me right now it feels like love.

Too bad it's not returned.

This came from a crush.

The one I love.

The one I got rejected by.

It's okay, I see how I'm not enough.

Even if you said yes,

Even when I asked you out,

I knew how crap I was.

I knew you should have better.

This makes me feel bad too,

Because I gave him the option of having someone.

Someone who is not enough.

He deserves the best.

The only person I could think up,

That would be worthy of his love,

Well that's impossible.

No one deserves him,

And there's no one good enough for him.

I'm at the bottom of my chart of worth.

I hate living with myself,

So I don't know why I'd want him to love me.

I know you said I'm perfect.

I know you said you cared.

You also said you love me.

You know I love you more.

In a very different way.

The way you love me is plenty.

More than I deserves,

But I'm sorry that's just not enough.

Not when I've fallen so hard.

I'm here on the ground,

Just watching you standing tall.

Without a problem.

Never going to fall.

Well not for me anyway.

That's only what I dream.

I actually like this heart break.

Even if it hurts a bit,

Or a lot.

At least I almost have something going on.

I'm sorry but it is what it sounds like.

I want something to be sad about.

I want my heart to break.

Then I can learn what love feels like.

I know this stuff sounds twisted.

You're like, who are you to think that?

I find it twisted too.

Maybe we all are a bit on the inside.

Deep down.

Most people wouldn't think this.

Yes I want more pain,

Of which none I have.

Don't ask me to explain.

I highly doubt I can.

I want to promise I'm not that bad.

That I'm a good and nice person.

I don't know if I can.

In not sure if it would turn out to be a lie.

I want to stop thinking of this other person,

In this way.

I only want the one I really love.

The one who I know doesn't love me.

But if this new person of interest does.

I've been trying to think of what I'd do.

The answer to that,

I have no clue.

I'd still be thinking of him.

I don't want to let myself do that to him.

Go out with someone,

When my hearts with someone else.

I don't know how to stop it.

Some would say stop bothering with the first.

He doesn't love you anyway.

They don't understand how much I don't want to.

I never want to let go of him.

This other persons just a rebound.

Keep your head, heart and eyes faithful.

Don't let your daydreams drift.

I believe there are angels here.
They're all around us.
They're watching and caring.
Even if they're not interfering.

I believe that they are waiting.
Willing to help us.
If we need saving.

I believe that if we call.
An angels will soon answer.
They won't let us fall.
Instead they catch us.

I believe we can contact our angels.
By thoughts or speaking.
Then we might see, hear or feel them.

I believe we are never alone.
They can ease off on us,
But never go too far away.
They're loving us every day.

I'm stressed inside and out.
Annoying thoughts are swirling around.
I can't even tell them to go away.
I have to face them the next day.
I have to get myself through it,
Do all my homework the best I can.
Yes this sounds stupid.
It's only about homework.
But you couldn't realise,
How it stresses me inside.
Along with all of this.
You are there.
In my head.
On my mind when I breathe in fresh air.
I know that I can't hide.
I saw you today,
I saw you last week.
I talk to you too.
But so far I feel blue.
I guess I get jealous.
I know that I do.
This reality is nothing I can do.
I want you so bad,
But you don't feel the same.
I know it,
You've told me,
And I can't make that change.
None of this though,
Will pry me away.
Because you forever,
In my heart you will stay.