I don't know what to do,
It's like I've lost myself while trying to find you.
It's like you make me suffer so much
But you run free without a care.
To you it should seems like I'm just fine.
What if I told you I was dying inside?
Would you care or would you hate me.
Well I hate me for liking you.
I feel guilty because I'm hanging on to nothing.
You don't want me but I'm carrying my same old thoughts.
I feel bad for you because I love you,
Meanwhile you don't want me to.
I'm such a bad friend for liking you,
Because you just want to be friends.
I still feel like drowning.
This is just another of poems out of many.
About you.
There's so ****** many about you,
Yet you might not have a clue.
You couldn't know,
You couldn't imagine,
How much this is effecting me.
And now I actually sometimes try,
To get you off my mind.
I don't want to see you and ruin your moment,
Because of the fact your aware of me liking you.
Then I think what if this never happened.
What if you just said yes?
Then I sure as hell wouldn't be stuck here feeling like this.
No, I don't hate you.
You can't control who you love,
And I know that more than anyone.
I hate that I love you.
Because I shouldn't so it feels like betrayal.
So I'm sorry but I can't stop.
I haven't wanted to stop but now I think I want it to.
Never the less I have no choice.
I just have to sit here with you tearing me to shreds.
You don't know.
But if you did,
I wouldn't be able to come within a mile of you.
Because I'm sorry, so sorry.
Do you know what it feels like though?
To love someone without a chance,
And for so long but not being given the same type of glance.
So there's pathetic and then there's me.
More rather they're the same thing.
I don't know what to do apart from listen to depressing love songs.
Ones that I can't relate to because they've actually been in love.
They've had a relationship.
All I've had is this stupid crush,
But somehow it still hurts so much.
So I sing the lyrics and want to cry,
But no matter how loud,
You don't hear me.
Because I'm not singing to you and I don't want you to know.
There's nothing you could do.
You don't love me and you can't.
You won't.
But for goodness sake this hurts too much!
I try to live my life but I can't.
Which is because I'm thinking of you.
Everything right now just makes me want to scream.
There's no way around it,
Because you'll never love me.