It’s not happening as you expected? So what? How do you know that what you wanted to happen was for the best?
Embrace the challenges. Embrace the unexpected. That way, you’re unstoppable.

To believe means to be and to live this way.
I am and live what I believe.

A belief is a thought I believe in.
Only thoughts that we believe in become our beliefs.

We never know how what we are experiencing now might help us in the future. Every experience is valid and may be useful. Let's embrace everything and trust.

Let's put that phone away and stretch our bodies.

Mind, stop trying to solve this old problem in endless cycles,
This door is closed, don't you see?
All these doors are closed,
But you still hope that by knocking hard or long enough,
One of them might open.

This dark and empty corridor has been where you
Spend your time day in and out, but why?
Aren't you tired of all the disappointment and frustration?
This self-abandonment keeps you looking for answers,
YOU WISH TO BE FOUND! I KNOW!

Desperately and to be honest, stubbornly, you keep your nose pointed into this one direction.
As though this corridor never had an entrance and all the ways out were through these doors,
BUT THEY DON'T WANT US!

Mind, this exhaustion brought us nowhere,
Wallowing in suffering consciously and subconsciously,
LET IT GO!

The problem is the truth you keep believing,
Your TRUTH keeps us trapped in here,
But I am tired.
Summer is coming,
This search has not helped us all these years.
Please, PLEASE, STOP!

Mind, this feeling of dullness
And this stinging emptiness,
This is not how I want to spend my life.
I am 30, let me live and experience all that is out there for me.
I WANT TO EXPLORE!

New ways of thinking.
You don't seem to notice but there is
One door missing at the main entrance
Of this long corridor,
Where we have been lost for ages!
Remember, mind, we have once come so close,
There was light, new perspectives arised,
There was happiness, gratitude, freedom!
There still is!
We need the courage to believe in it again,
LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND!

Mind, you are constantly searching for what you FEAR,
And what you fear you always find!
Then you implode, make my body go through painful waves of emotions,
Distortions, this is a self-harming behavior,
Don't you know?

Dear mind, all these thoughts you keep sending me,
Make me be ashamed of my body,
You have created a self-image for us,
Which makes enjoying life so difficult!
BUT I WON'T GIVE UP!

Mind, your creativity is astounding,
Honestly,
So is your ability to analyse and identify,
How within seconds you compare my body to others',
Point out its weaknesses,
Make it the reason to not feel enough,
Find prove for not being love worthy...
DON'T YOU SEE, MIND!

You keep your loved ones at bay,
Constant chatter of overthinking is your veil,
Looking for a sign that everyone else
Judges us in the same way that you do,
We never move beyond these walls,
Never NOT believing into the terrible curse,
This story, Mind, you keep repeating to yourself.

Now I realize that indeed we have been trapped,
We have buried and abandoned ourselves for good.
You, Mind, because you believe in this madness.
And me - who is this anyway? I am still longing
For this freedom. I have not given up.
And I WON'T!

I have made myself your slave.
Why? Because I used to rely upon you
Day and night. You have saved my life.
By building our own protective bunker,
You helped us survive!
Though THOSE DANGERS ARE OVER!

Can you hear me?
The purpose of this bunker is gone.
I am 30 now and I wanna live.
Yes, I want to let my loved ones touch my heart.
Yes, I want to experience hurt if I have to.
Yes, I want to believe in the GOOD
And not in what I've been told in childhood.

Mind, herewith I am cancelling my agreement with you,
I cannot trust your solutions without questioning them,
Lately, I realized that I have been denying my heart,
By keeping company with you for too long.
If you still want to stay in this bunker,
Knocking on sealed old doors,
Where really no one and nothing is waiting for us -
Then do it. I won't fight against it.
But I'll stop believing your stories and arguing with you.

It may take time to unbury myself and get back to light,
But I promise, I will look at myself as a young sprout,
Because I owe it to myself.

Dear mind, consider my invitation to leave the bunker
And your old beliefs behind,
To restart as a beginner's mind.
I know my heart will receive us with love and compassion
In its beautiful and peaceful chambers of light.

When we communicate and we don't feel seen - we may tend to intensify and overemphasize certain aspects. We identify stronger with them which makes them seem insurmountable and unchangeable. This is when we try to prove something.

Actually
Aching
Endlessly
Making
Stories up
Maybe
I'm a sick..baby

There is nothing wrong about aging. We all have been aging since we came to life. To exist means to age.

Phone-diction
Became a conviction
Everyone is bound
Without exception

Phone-world
Offers no restriction
It's a convenient space
No eviction

Phone-time
Equals the injection
Of dopamine
There's no rejection

Phone-crime
Doesn't yet exist
Each year a new smartphone
Seems hard to resist

A phone back in time had this function:
Connection,
These days oftentimes - it's the opposite action,
In search of warmth, love and appreciation,
We lose ourselves in phone-solation.

Just watching to see
Just coming to breath
Just listening to be
Just living to explore
What is behind that shore?
Each moment brand-new
For me and for you
All roadmaps abondoned
I am on my own
Being guided by NOW
Seeing what's gonna show.

Listening to what I have to say
Humming a song of...
What?
Painful memories
Absence of decay
A reward?
Should I be grateful
For not getting harmed in old ways?

D eny
U nderstate
N egate
G eneralize
E scape
O verthink
N umb

Your body will be grateful for every healthy choice you make today.

I allow the flow of love to find me today.

Honor reality.❤️ Whatever is happening.

I refuse to believe
That my life will always be
A fight

Fight against emotions
Fight against fears
Fight against tears

I refuse to believe
That my thinking will stay the same
That I'll have to keep playing the old game
Of repetitive patterns
With escape and avoidance becoming my second name

I see it and breath in
I step out and breath out
I step into my own body
Awarely choosing
What I want to believe.

I am capable to soften the edges.
To go from perfectionism towards connection.
To speak and act more from wisdom and love.
I am able to believe that I am truly enough.
Changing the paradigm one breath at a time.
I made self-guidance the new paradigm.

Perfectionism is so far away from reality.
Embracing this moment is more than enough.

I just wish for all people to be spontaneous and to do sth they love. Find sth they enjoy and experience true joy doing that. Interacting with others, expressing themselves as they are.

People die
Stories end
Fears vanish in the thin air
Minds shut down
Bodies fall
Chapters close
What lives on?

If it was incredibly uncomfortable, there is a big lesson behind it. You are growing.

Let's be grateful for that one moment today which made us smile.

I let go and make room for growth.

There is no need to rush. Stop stressing around. Start looking at this very moment because this is where you truly are. Now. Alive.
This breath is needed for the next years to come. Let's give this breath our attention. Let's stay present with it.

Stale
I have gone stale
On the inside
Failed
To connect
In my mind
I reject
Disappointment
Lingering,
Drowning
In those halls of whispers,
Which I condemn,
Wanting to leave
Leave
Leave
Leave it all behind.
All at once.

Sometimes I am scared to write those words
I hear in dark clouds hiding
Fear and restlessness are blinding
Stuck within my heart a universe
Of thoughts, a truth, a curse,
A worry and 1001 catastrophic stories,
Images of events that have never taken place,
Fake but seem real, I believe it still...
Once again I gave in,
Drowning I found myself in painful thoughts,
Scratching my chest under my skin,
Heaviness spreads it's poisonous roots...
What does surrender even mean
If not to write a poem?
I keep on observing the within,
I hope to find answers therein...

Now I understand how relationships oftentimes made me stop progressing and growing. I tried to stay the same deliberately because I was afraid they would stop loving me if I changed.

All people are equal. Are people. Are equal.

The drama in my head comes and goes.

Nobody knows
Nobody understands
And that's alright
That's alright
That's alright
That's alright

Snap back to reality,
Snapping out of it
Breath in
Breath out
You're not alone with it
Let's conquer
Let's wake up
Let's become
Present again,
I know we're capable,
I will support you till the very end.

I love you.

It's ok to feel discomfort in the body.

It seems like the hardest thing.
That's why I need to try it
It seems like the hardest thing ever done
That's why I need to try it

Burning
Yearning
In my heart
It's deserving
To be heard.
Body's whispers
Become screams.
Thought streams,
Where are their hot springs?
Body-mind connection
Currently a hurtful interaction,
Heaviness inside.
Whether the mind's full or empty-
Hard to tell,
The spiral repeats,
Energy depletes,

As if under a
Spell,
Leaving the body
A heavy but empty,
A burning but cold,
A lifeless but longing
A hard but soft
Shell.

The uncomfortable can be real icky at times. Don't forget that it's just a feeling.

It's just a feeling.

It won't stay forever.

Let us infuse this day
With gratitude awareness, hey
Let us infuse this day
With gratitude awareness, hey...

You're not behind. You're on your own unique path. Trust your journey.

Even the smallest warm interaction with other people counts.

Experiences can be beautiful, fun, uncomfortable, awkward and embarrassing at the same time.

Life takes me places I need to go.
I am exactly where I need to be.

I deserve all the love I get.

Feeling
Like
I can't
Express
Enough
What
A
Blessing
You
Are,
How much
Wisdom you
Carry.
How I feel
Seen and loved,
And I want us
To marry...

I've been wasting energy in various ways.
Especially in certain thought patterns and internal fights in my mind.

Every stepping stone
With you, with us
Counts for me,
Does build trust

Slowly I believe in more,
Want to take in all of you
With my heart and soul
I feel safe with you, I do,

But out there the non existent dangers,
Created by my mind,
Are threatening enough,
To make many small accomplishments
Difficult and tough.

So I celebrate,
Every stepping stone,
With you by my side,
I believe even more,
I not only believe but I'm actually implementing,
What I learned all those years in pain and desperation.

The insecurity within me worries,
What If I'm just projecting some stories,
Onto you,
Putting my hope and soul in you,
Afraid to fall and shatter at some point...
But STOP
I need to let go of this voice.

Futile is the harming action in our minds,
It brings dissatisfaction, makes us blind,
It makes us lost and our potential fading...

But I believe in light within our hearts.

The symphony of empty spaces
Is filled with heaviness
It's happening
That often my heart races
Isn't it obvious?

My shoulders are shrugged-frozen
I'm feeling vulnerably-naked
My body's saturated by
Insecurity, it's shaking
Constantly
Making me believe
I was not enough
To truly live and love

Yesterday rediscovered
Where these feelings come from
Their roots were uncovered
In my childhood home

In those early years
Reoccurring fears
To lose a loved one..

Now, what happened back then
Is obviously over,
But my body still plays pretend,
As if those times would never end...

It seems as though I was stuck in those feelings forever,
Trying to fit in the modern world feels like a futile marathon,
Never quite reaching any destination,
My path can only lead me to obliteration...

The only question left is - can I handle this?
If I do have enough determination..
Cause to escape the abyss,
I will have to learn to fly,
This question is not one of a lifetime,
The action happens in the present moment by decision...
I shall embrace every feelings-collision.

Don't really know what I'm feeling
I'm probably feeling too much
Don't know why I feel so lonely
When every day I get your touch
Don't know why I feel numb
Numbing is a strategy
Thoughts these day get so tough
Having a heavy melody

Destiny of our souls?
Where is it written, show me,
My mind is desperate to know,
Where all this is gonna lead me
I am not ready yet
To give up on every dream
I know I keep steady
In times like these
I'm moving slowly

But with connected hearts
Art is not a real choice
It's a remedy
The only place that restores
My inner voice and my integrity

Does that mean I lack authenticity?
Maybe, out of necessity?
Maybe it's my conditioned brain,
Always wired to simply be afraid.
I've let confusion lead the way
In many of my decisions,
I've let anxiety lead me astray,
Make me lose goals and precision.

Now I am here and typing
Words in my phone from
The heart.
And I rejuvenate my core,
Feeling it's warmth,
Health being restored,
Every tiny step counts...

There's no way this depression
Will feed itself off of me.

The path is within.

I am not this emotion
In the wide and deep ocean
I am not this emotion, at all

I am not this emotion
In the wide and deep ocean
I am not this emotion, at all

I am not this emotion
In the wide and deep ocean
I am not this emotion, at all, at all, at all...