blank pages
you fill with empty words.
it would be nice to see those lines
those curves.
but words do not seem to amuse you.
they escape and abuse you.
so those pages that remain blank
will surely stay without ink.
for to get your book
would be an impossible thing.

the cold, my love
is something so close to us
it finds us in our dreams.
it haunts not only you,
but me.

the cold, my love
has something I want.
it has the warmth that is meant
to be for us.
but it so blatantly disregards
our every being.

the cold, my love
will soon find its way
in and between.
soaking into our bones
to keep us from loving.

my perspectives seem to be skewed.
uneven and drawn to misguided conclusions.
I'm left tilted and jilted
from my own interpretations.
flawed is my nature
with exceptional and judgmental accusations.
I'm not saying that I'm a wreck,
but I'm a ship that seems to have made a wrong turn
and I've somehow found my way to the bottom of the sea.

there are so many people I would like to be
and none of them seem to be myself.

take only what you need
and leave the rest for me.
my emotions are poor
and hardly comforting.
they have become stiff
and raw since you decided to leave.
I'm not sure anymore what it is
that seems to be ailing me.
for if it was you
it would mean I still have love in my heart.
but my dear,
I assure you that I surely do not.

I'm in the dark
losing my sight.
I've tried so hard
to find the light.
but the black that engulfs me
keeps pulling me deeper.
whispering in my ear,
to become someone weaker.

so late
so tired
all I want
no all I need
is sleep
but I'm here
lying here
waiting here
reading those
words that you
never wrote to me
and I'm wondering
what they might
have said
but all I can
think of are those
empty pages with
those thoughts
you never actually
dreamt.

I have neglected to mention
the most important part.
That it's you and only you,
that holds my heart.

what if
we have felt
everything we
will ever feel?

I misplaced you.
How could I have been so careless?

I think about when you left.
Never looking back.
Not even to check.
I just stood there
with my hand clutching my chest.

I know you didn't mean it.
You said you were sorry
and that this was
how you had to leave it.

But my arms feel empty
with nothing to hold.
And I'm left with this
giant
gaping
hole.

I never thought I could be so content,
with your head in my lap
and your heart in my chest.

I beg for something,
but I don't know what.

I long for something,
maybe a new love.

My heart crushed between my hands.

The scars inside and out
scream for someone to understand.

But I look at the clock,
2a.m.

And the coffee I drink
can only keep me awake before I lose each part of who I am.

Then I find
fear
or
solace
within my bed.

I'm never quite sure
which one will find its way
into my head.

So much trouble perched between your lips.
A match flirting just at the edge.

All you have to do is light it
and everything bursts into flames.

But it still sits there.
Eager for something new to chase.

Your eyes,
so lost in everything

but me.

Was I really that ordinary?
I was last on your list of

meaningless
ludicrous
mundane

priorities.

Please.

Leave now and break every piece of me

or*

leave later and make me forever incomplete.

Cold whispers through the air.
Caught only by your heart
and the thoughts that surround we.

The earth on fire would not
be enough to save us
from the chill between you and me.

I am imperfect.
I am unwhole.

I have been beaten and battered,
left without a soul.

As hard as I try,
I fall to my knees.

Begging for someone to comfort me.

My love.
You are lost.
But as am I.
How on earth,
will we ever
intertwine?

Your heart was somewhere else.

I looked so hard,
but you hid it well.

This is short and

sweet.

Just as we
were meant to be.

I am enamored by you.

Ships sail from sea to sea,
but even that beauty
can't beat the unrequited dream

*of what we could be.

How can we be so different?
My hand fits in yours with hardly any indecision.

Mischief wanders
falling deep.
Twisting and turning
beneath your feet.

My heart breaks with every step.
Because the further I walk,

*the smaller you get.

The trees whispered among their leaves.
The wind;
    Among the breeze.

And we?

Well.
*We spoke within our dreams.

Don't love me to love me.
Love me to never lose me.

Hold me to never watch me go
and kiss me to never say goodbye.

Keep me only yours
*and I will keep you only mine.

You were like a flower.
But a rose without petals.

*Nothing but thorns.

She never did learn to love.

*Only how to run.

I watched us burn.

I wanted to put out the flames,
but all I held was more gasoline.

Life sustains with a flicker,
but lives with a flame.

A noose slips when your feet do,
and a gun fires when there is nothing left
to claim.

Like the ocean,
I am deep.
But unlike the monsters that lie beneath,
I float atop the surface,
searching for a place to sink my teeth.

I never meant to say goodbye.
But it escaped from my mouth and it felt so right.
And you didn't have to say it back,
but you let it fall from your lips as slowly as it sped away from mine.

Time is only a peace keeper.
Left to babysit the helpless.
It leaves us in handcuffs wrestling with priorities for the sane-less.
We fold our hands and twiddle our thumbs
hoping for silence which never comes.
We are broken in the shadows of a downtrodden land
and we are never affixed to see what it is that holds us to the ground.
I reach for something so far in the distance,
it's as if I'm a toddler grasping for vision.
I don't walk without stumbling and I promise you I'm not perfect.
But how in this world are we supposed to live with purpose?

I never take my own advice.
I say to love with your whole heart but I only love with half of mine.

There is something in the way you look at me.
In your smile.
It's faint and broken,
but I know it's there.
Your eyes squint in concentration and curiosity
as you try to put the pieces of my puzzle back together.
I know some won't fit
and others are lost
because I have been beaten down and split apart.
My heart is scattered in pieces
and I honestly don't know where you would start.

The cold trembles at my lips and I can feel shivers run down my dimpled skin.
My breathe forms in front of me as if it were its own entity.
The leaves crumple beneath my feet and I grin at the sound.
Your hand is weak in mine,
But I know you'll never let go.
I can feel your eyes trace me as I continue on in my own world.
The eloquence of your every step is lost in the protruding sound of mine.
I laugh and giggle as you watch and observe with the faintest of smiles.
The light from scattered lamp posts illuminate our silent conversation,
And I am lost in everything you are.

Snow hits my face and you brush it away unconsciously.
We stop and look up at the stars between the delicately placed clouds.
Your hand tightens around mine and I can feel you take in everything around us.
We count the lights in the blackened sky knowing that we could never possibly finish.
But we know we have a lifetime,
So we try.