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SeaChel Mar 2018
I don't like people
persistently meddling
in my own business.
(That first line is on point though)
Apparently I've been a subject of interest in various conversations lately.  It's both disturbing and puzzling to me...  I don't want that attention at all, like get it away from me and let me just do my thing.  And I can't even wrap my mind around why people would want to talk about me, I'm not remotely interesting.  Pick a better topic people, like the ******* weather or some ****.
SeaChel Nov 2017
after hours, days, weeks of crying
over a love lost
i wondered how the water kept pouring
from my eyes
and how i did not shrivel into nothingness

however
then i realized the correlation
between the bottomless sea
and the endless salty tears
constantly leaking from my ocean eyes
using all lowercase for aesthetic purposes now...
SeaChel Feb 2018
I thought I caught

the most prized fish;

breathtaking, rare, and all mine.

It was all a deception,

for what I actually got

was a slimy, ephemeral eel.
I know many wonderful Pisces, so not dissing on all those under the sign in any way <3
SeaChel Apr 2013
Over and over again it happens:
Work piling up into massive
vertical structures, threatening to
topple over and smother me.
You'd think I'd have learned by now,
but I have not.
SeaChel Jan 2018
You were unhappy.
And you let everyone know
whom was not myself.
Communication is key.
SeaChel Feb 2018
even the things I love most

cannot give me the will

to pick myself up







and that is okay.
SeaChel Nov 2013
Bad habits die hard,
or so they say.
Though my bad habits
won't ******* die at all.
SeaChel Apr 2018

I'm a closet hopeless romantic
hiding my heart away under the facade
of having a block of ice in its place;
an empath in an apath's clothing.  
I can pick out the fuckboys from a mile away,
hands tied behind my back and blindfolded.  
I don't want your meaningless physical touch.  
Why settle for something less
when I can just do the job better myself?  
What I crave is that connection.  
The kind you feel upon first locking eyes,
where your soul and their soul interacts,
and something just clicks.  
When two people share that soul connection,
it's not just *******,
it's a whole beautiful experience.
And though it's only been a few moments
since I had something like this,
to my soul,
it feels like a millennia
SeaChel Jan 2018
When someone wrongs me,
it's like a switch in me flips;
I no longer care.
SeaChel Apr 2013
The warmness of spring
fills my body
with pure ecstasy.
SeaChel Feb 2019
I've always had an affinity
for sugary treats
and he's the sweetest
I've ever met.
Yet,
my tastes have changed.
As I licked his saccharine lips,
I realized
I've outgrown my sweet tooth.
SeaChel Sep 2018
Every waking day
I am still haunted
by your lack of presence.
Even in dreams,
you’ve stopped showing,
as my soul has recognized
that you are no longer beside me.
SeaChel Feb 2019
Only four letters
and simply one syllable;
such a dreadful word.
SeaChel Aug 2018
Another dawn breaks
Yet, my tired eyes stay shut;
Sleep remedies life.
SeaChel Apr 2013
I am the yo-yo, hooked to a piece of string.
You are the hand that pulls,
controls the whole mechanism.
As the hand pushes away,
the yo-yo distances itself;
just to be pulled back into the hand
with the slightest tug.
No matter how many times the yo-yo
spins away,
she is always found in the embrace
of the hand yet again.
And no matter how near or far
the hand is to the yo-yo
(or the yo-yo to the hand),
the two are always connected.
SeaChel Mar 2018
It's funny
in a not-so-funny sort of way
that the three months post us,
DecemberJanuaryFebruary
and now onto March,
have flown by.

Whereas the final few months of us,
S e p t e m b e r
O  c  t  o  b  e  r
N   o   v   e   m   b   e   r
(then onto the final month of)
D         e          c          e          m          b          e         ­ r
seemed to crawl by,
slower and slower as the days went on.
We were inevitably doomed.
SeaChel Feb 2018
There's something

s t r a n g e

hiding deep within my soul.

It hums with an otherworldly vibration,

a foreign frequency,

and if you listen closely,

you can hear it whisper,

"Come home."
After a reading I was given, I was told that my soul is a very young one (contradicting previous belief).  The bruja, explained to me that I came from another realm; sent to learn about humans and their behavior.  Everything she explained and different things - personal things I never have told another soul - she explained about myself, resonated so deeply that it shook me.  I always felt there was something off, some part of the picture of  my life that I did't understand, but now it's clear.
SeaChel Mar 2018
Not a poem, just a (silly) question.  I remember a few years ago being able to select italics, bold, strikethrough, etc.  How do you italicize/bold words now?  I've seen it in recent works from others, but for the life of me can't figure it out.

Thank you,
Seachel <3
SeaChel Nov 2017
i cut back the branches you ensnared around my heart
just to realize
you also left your thorns deep in the *****
which i will have to agonizingly pull out
one by one
I'm back.  It seems like depression and anxiety always bring out the inspiration to write in me.
SeaChel Apr 2018
I feel more
than I let on,
though I am also
much stronger
than most believe
me to be.
SeaChel Feb 2018
When I care,

I care too much;

smothering the flame

before it can even think

of becoming a fire.

Yet once out,

those feelings vanish

along with the smoke.
SeaChel Feb 2018
My heart aches
to feel something.
My head longs
for my heart to feel
anything.
Though I feel absolutely
nothing.
SeaChel Aug 2018
Upon waking every morning,
he'd study my cerulean eyes
so intensely, it was as though
he saw they held the secrets to life
and he was a desperate man in need.
Yet, one day,
he must have found something
dark and terrifying in their depths,
for he never immersed himself
in my watery orbs again.
SeaChel Oct 2018

Quite often, I ponder
“What’s worse?”
a love that once was
or a love that could have been
and the ”what if” that follows it?
SeaChel Nov 2017
Darkness grows
consuming the light meant for
the garden within my soul.
The flowers wilt
the grasses wither.
Their life slowly leaves them
as does mine.
Older poem I wrote in 2013 that I'm bringing back.  It's been feeling relevant again.
SeaChel Jan 2018
What is it about a stranger
that makes it easier to
p
o

u


r



your heart out?
SeaChel Apr 2013
Have you ever had one of those days
where sadness takes on an edge
of beauty?
It seems like a contradiction,
an oxymoron.
Although, you can't help but see how
it shines
around the shadow of depression.
SeaChel Apr 2018
I know I should not
let anyone's opinion of me
diminish my self worth.
Yet, the second after you told me
you no longer found me desirable,
all the confidence
I had been building up for the past decade
plummeted.
Faster and harder
than any star ever has ever collapsed before;
into this black hole,
which now consumes me.
SeaChel Feb 2018
Goosebumps dance
on a pale stage,
following after
where your fingertips traced.

Your hot breath pours
across the nape of my neck,
sending a tsunami of shivers
down
down
d
o
w
n
my spine
and through my limbs.

I open my eyes
needing to look into your own,
but am met with
the ****** ceiling.
I was dreaming
again
and yet I wasn't...

I dream that you're out there,
my dear,
living your own life
and maybe dreaming of me too.
The feeling of not being able to see a person in your dream is so frustrating.  I've had a reoccurring stranger in my dreams for the past couple years - blank faced, but I always know it's him - which makes me wonder if he's real and I meet him, will I know then too?
SeaChel Jan 2018
When I'm sober, I am completely apathetic,
yet one single drop of alcohol in me
and I start to miss everything we had.
SeaChel May 2013
Stars twinkle while suspended
in the dark sky above.
Some dim, others bright;
A handful hued, the majority white.
From their perch beyond, and
when their numbers appear multiplied
as the moon is absent,
they whisper, "destiny," to me.
SeaChel Feb 2018
I have never understood the concept of
soulmates,
twin flames,
being one half of a whole.

I have never needed somebody in my life
to make me feel whole
because I am absolutely complete
on my own.
Self love is important.  When I hear about those who can’t enjoy their own company, I pity them because I love myself (not be or sound egotistical) in the way that I genuinely enjoy my own company.  If this doesn’t resonate with you, try taking yourself out to lunch, going hiking, seeing a movie by yourself.  It’s scary at first, but freeing to be able to be friends with your conscious.
SeaChel Apr 2013
From a young age we have been taught
America is the home of the free;
America is the country of opportunity;
here you can be whatever you dream.

So, what do we do?
We follow our dreams
(or attempt to).
We sign our lives away,
we let ourselves be turned into
mind-less zombies,
while building a mountain of debt
throughout the process.
Just to then be told
our dreams cannot be reached.

Go directly to jail.
Do not pass go.
Do not collect $200.

*God Bless America.
SeaChel Nov 2017
You sat upon your throne
made up of empty cigarette cartons and crushed beer cans.
You thought yourself so mighty and entitled.
Yet, you didn't see it coming, did you?
I left the pathetic kingdom you ruled and enslaved me in.
Like a shadow of death, I gave you one last kiss
and everything as you knew it came
c

r


a



s




h





i






n







g








down.
This goes back to my life a few years ago when I was still a bit more naive than I am now.
SeaChel May 2013
Cigarettes and I have a
love-hate/hate-love
relationship.
Each drag is like voluntarily
placing my lungs in an inferno to be scorched.
The strongest people I know have
wasted away
because of that cancer-on-a-stick.
I especially hate how
they taint the tantalizing taste
of my lover's lips.
Yet, on rare drunken occasions
or when a thick layer of red coats my lips,
I crave the **** thing.
I don't smoke, I hate it, but if you've ever taken a drag of a cigarette while drunk, then you should completely understand this.
SeaChel Mar 2018

My mouth
may be as ***** as a sailor's,
but I promise you
my lips
are as sweet as honey.
I admit I like cussing.  It doesn't make me any less of a lady; I know when to bite my tongue.
SeaChel Apr 2013
Why won't time just
s l o w   t h e   *******   d o w n
for once?
SeaChel Jan 2018
Countlessly,
I have found myself with the fleeting desire
to be all the people who have replaced me
and those whose memory I was meant to erase.
Though as quickly as I process the thought,
the wish to be who I am not dies
and I am left only feeling shame.

Shame that for even a split second -
I didn't see my worth,
I thought I wasn't good enough,
I compared myself to another.

Although, mainly shame for in that brief moment,
I didn't love myself.
Always working on self-love.
SeaChel Jan 2018
I feel more myself
than I have in a long while,
now that you have gone.
SeaChel Apr 2013
Sadness deep within
my bones seemingly will not
ever go away
SeaChel Nov 2017
The weight of the world
finally off my shoulders;
I can breathe again.
SeaChel Feb 2018
I have this
increasingly annoying
affliction with affection.

I'm sorry if my
insularity doesn't comprehend your sincerity,
I've just had the actions of others be
catalytic to the inner cynic
in me.

I try to push myself to feel
an inclination, but it ends in agitation
instead.

I've realized it's
unfortunately an idiosyncrasy
of mine, though I hope to someday come across a
carrefour in life where I'll find my paramour
who will understand.
Testing out rhyming/near rhymes/play on words.  Feedback is always appreciated, especially since I'm out of my regular style with this.  I actually took some time on this.. and by that I mean more than the usually 5-10 minutes I'll spend writing something.  (So, probably 13 minutes for this ;] )
SeaChel Apr 2013
Head spinning
Vision tilting
Mind reeling
Stomache heaving

I don't recall my feet leaving the ground
or hopping onto a twisting rollercoaster.
Yet,
how else would the world be rotating
360 degrees,
back-and-forth,
upside-down,
all in the same moment?
If this was written with pen, I'd have much fun with the last several lines in the visual arrangement of them.
SeaChel May 2013
Hot water rushes
from spigot to head; All my
thoughts are washed away
SeaChel Feb 2018
Every single wish I spent on

shooting stars

or pennies thrown into wishing wells

was wasted on you.
SeaChel Jan 2018
"You don't know what you have until it's gone,"
Words I've engrained into my brain
from years ago.
Always trying to be thankful
for every little thing.

Yet, you've gone
and I've realized that the pedestal
I always placed you on in my mind,
was simply an illusion.
Every time I said it could be worse,
it actually could've been better.

And now I know
I deserve somebody to value my worth
as a person,
lover,
friend.

Because you don't know what you don't have until it is long gone.
Words to digest for me.
Why
SeaChel Nov 2017
Why
Gut clenching
Heart wrenching
Hands shaking
Knees quaking

The feeling of being twisted
wrung out like a soaking wet towel, trying to get
every
last
drop
starts from the middle of my core and spreads out
towards my skin
towards my limbs
like an infectious disease rampaging my body.

Contorting my body into a ball so tight
that my shins bear marks from the iron grips of my fingers
is seemingly the only way to relieve this pressure from within.

Yet,
the only thought running through my semi-conscious mind
while I go through this invisible torture is,
"Why me?"
What sins have I committed in my past lives
which would cause me to endure this kind of pain?
Has anyone else felt the pain I described?  It literally feels like I'm being put under pressure, starting from the inside and moving out.  I've dealt with depression and anxiety, but I've never felt this kind of discomfort before...
SeaChel Feb 2018
I've had people ask before,
"What was that scar from?"
then a,
"Why did you do it?"

Why,
why,
why,
why,
why?

That question mulls itself
over and over
in my mind like a mantra,
until my brain becomes dizzy.

Why did I?  
Why am I?

To feel?  
To distract?
To numb?

I have no direct answer,
only a question for their question.

Then, I realize
this might be the only thing
I am completely unsure of
about myself.
SeaChel Apr 2018
Every living person in this world
has their own universe
hiding in their eyes.
How beautiful is it then, that
when two people gaze into each others eyes,
they are in that moment,
sharing their entire universe
with one another.
The eyes are definitely a window to the soul; a person's universe and existence.
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