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8.5k · May 2013
Not good enough...
SeaChel May 2013
The feeling of not being good enough,
inadequacy,
pulses through my heart,
out both ventricles, through the arteries
to deposit the tingling sensation throughout my body like
a thousand red ants
crawling up and down limbs.
Trees have stronger roots than I.
It takes a mere sentence
to break my stance and split me
in two.
You don't notice me
stitching myself back together
piece by piece.
You never notice because I am simply
not good enough.
5.2k · May 2013
LSD
SeaChel May 2013
LSD
Faces morphing
Colors changing
Hearts convulsing
Ceilings spazzing
Hands shaking
Reality vanishing

-

What

is

anything?
Very controversial topic, yet, art at its highest peak.
2.7k · Apr 2013
Procrastination
SeaChel Apr 2013
Over and over again it happens:
Work piling up into massive
vertical structures, threatening to
topple over and smother me.
You'd think I'd have learned by now,
but I have not.
2.2k · Feb 2018
Kiss to Forget
SeaChel Feb 2018
I want to smother your lips

with my own,

to kiss you so hard

your lungs beg for air,

and spots dance in your vision

like fireworks on the Fourth.


I want you to forget.

Forget your name

and where you came from

because in that moment

it will only be

us.
2.0k · Apr 2013
Untitled
SeaChel Apr 2013
Have you ever had one of those days
where sadness takes on an edge
of beauty?
It seems like a contradiction,
an oxymoron.
Although, you can't help but see how
it shines
around the shadow of depression.
1.9k · Feb 2018
Wasted Wishes
SeaChel Feb 2018
Every single wish I spent on

shooting stars

or pennies thrown into wishing wells

was wasted on you.
1.6k · Nov 2017
"Just Smile"
SeaChel Nov 2017
"You'd be prettier if you just smiled,"
they tell me.
What they don't know though
is every single time I've been told that,
my frown has etched itself deeper into my skin.
Maybe it will one day be so permanent
that I can't even fake a simple smile.
Have any other women (or men too, I know everything happens on both sides) gone through this?  Strangers, family, friends... it's all the same.
SeaChel Jan 2018
Every evening in the moment where
the late night turns to early morning,
my mind becomes stuck
on the same loop of thoughts.
Over and over again they play,
just like a scratched record
that won't stop repeating itself.
The difference though,
is a record player can be stopped much easier
before the skipping drives one crazy.
These looped thoughts that haunt me
from 2am to 6am without fail,
might just drive me to the brink
of insanity.
"What did I do wrong?"  "Could I have done something differently?"  "I wasn't important enough to acknowledge..  I don't mean anything."  "I'm too much.  I always love too much."  "Yet, no one ever wholeheartedly loves me."  "Nobody will ever genuinely love me without getting sick of me."  "Maybe I'd be desirable if I said things/acted as promiscuous as her." "The pattern just keeps continuing."
SeaChel May 2013
Hot water rushes
from spigot to head; All my
thoughts are washed away
1.4k · Feb 2018
Letting Them Win
SeaChel Feb 2018
Letting them win,
all those who hurt you,
made you question yourself,
and put you down
isn't in the form of a wall.
Put your defenses up,
but remember to let it down
from time to time
for those who matter.

When their actions
freeze your heart through,
you turn as cold as they,
when you can't be content,
and happiness is all but a lie,
then that is
letting them win.
1.1k · Feb 2019
The L-Word (Haiku)
SeaChel Feb 2019
Only four letters
and simply one syllable;
such a dreadful word.
1.1k · May 2013
Anxiety
SeaChel May 2013
Here I am, trying to convince the world,
trying to convince you,
trying to convince myself, that
I am fine.
A three-word sentence that hides the pain;
not from oneself but from watching eyes.
My troubles stack one on top of the other
forming a skyscraper that burdens me.
Each day it grows bigger and taller
until it collapses
as did the towers on 9/11,
as it does right on top of me.
1.0k · Apr 2013
Vertigo
SeaChel Apr 2013
Head spinning
Vision tilting
Mind reeling
Stomache heaving

I don't recall my feet leaving the ground
or hopping onto a twisting rollercoaster.
Yet,
how else would the world be rotating
360 degrees,
back-and-forth,
upside-down,
all in the same moment?
If this was written with pen, I'd have much fun with the last several lines in the visual arrangement of them.
1.0k · Apr 2013
Letting depression win (10w)
SeaChel Apr 2013
Body, Mind, and Soul:
I am weak.
I feel nothing.
959 · Jan 2018
Asleep or Dead?
SeaChel Jan 2018
These bruises and scars on my skin
help me remember,

"Yes,


I am still alive."
954 · Apr 2013
Black hole.
SeaChel Apr 2013
A black hole within
my soul threatens to consume
what is left of me.
943 · Mar 2018
Words Left Unspoken
SeaChel Mar 2018
The words left unspoken
are always harder to stomach
than those which were said.
I had a dream of you for the first time in awhile, although we were just talking.  I told you I knew more truth than you thought; what you were holding back.  You told me everything.  It had to have been a dream, even though if felt so real because for once you were so open and honest.... I guess I’ll never know since we’re both so good at keeping things to ourselves.
886 · Apr 2013
The Yo-Yo and the Hand
SeaChel Apr 2013
I am the yo-yo, hooked to a piece of string.
You are the hand that pulls,
controls the whole mechanism.
As the hand pushes away,
the yo-yo distances itself;
just to be pulled back into the hand
with the slightest tug.
No matter how many times the yo-yo
spins away,
she is always found in the embrace
of the hand yet again.
And no matter how near or far
the hand is to the yo-yo
(or the yo-yo to the hand),
the two are always connected.
862 · Nov 2017
Consumerism (Haiku)
SeaChel Nov 2017
Please stop with the ads.
My bank account can't handle
all this temptation.
"Happy" Black Friday.... I will not be spending a single penny today, unless it is on local businesses.
SeaChel Mar 2018
It's funny
in a not-so-funny sort of way
that the three months post us,
DecemberJanuaryFebruary
and now onto March,
have flown by.

Whereas the final few months of us,
S e p t e m b e r
O  c  t  o  b  e  r
N   o   v   e   m   b   e   r
(then onto the final month of)
D         e          c          e          m          b          e         ­ r
seemed to crawl by,
slower and slower as the days went on.
We were inevitably doomed.
726 · Feb 2018
Untitled
SeaChel Feb 2018
I have never understood the concept of
soulmates,
twin flames,
being one half of a whole.

I have never needed somebody in my life
to make me feel whole
because I am absolutely complete
on my own.
Self love is important.  When I hear about those who can’t enjoy their own company, I pity them because I love myself (not be or sound egotistical) in the way that I genuinely enjoy my own company.  If this doesn’t resonate with you, try taking yourself out to lunch, going hiking, seeing a movie by yourself.  It’s scary at first, but freeing to be able to be friends with your conscious.
SeaChel Apr 2013
Even the stars are
not infinite; they too, will
someday fade away.
665 · May 2013
Untitled
SeaChel May 2013
Cigarettes and I have a
love-hate/hate-love
relationship.
Each drag is like voluntarily
placing my lungs in an inferno to be scorched.
The strongest people I know have
wasted away
because of that cancer-on-a-stick.
I especially hate how
they taint the tantalizing taste
of my lover's lips.
Yet, on rare drunken occasions
or when a thick layer of red coats my lips,
I crave the **** thing.
I don't smoke, I hate it, but if you've ever taken a drag of a cigarette while drunk, then you should completely understand this.
639 · Aug 2018
Untitled
SeaChel Aug 2018
Upon waking every morning,
he'd study my cerulean eyes
so intensely, it was as though
he saw they held the secrets to life
and he was a desperate man in need.
Yet, one day,
he must have found something
dark and terrifying in their depths,
for he never immersed himself
in my watery orbs again.
608 · Jan 2018
Love/Hate Haikus
SeaChel Jan 2018
The simplicity
of a haiku is sublime,
though quite vexing too.
I love the minimalistic nature of haikus, yet also wish I could fit more emotion in sometimes.  Writing haikus definitely helps me expand my vocabulary and test out words I'd often not use.
599 · Feb 2018
Natal Chart
SeaChel Feb 2018
Aquarius Sun
Capricorn Rising
Scorpio Moon
This combination is antagonizing.

Detached all around,
yet intense emotions still rise.
Head and heart always fighting;
there's no compromise.

I can give zero *****
and care more than I should too.
Though ***** me over once and
I'll bid you adieu.

Although it is taxing
I wouldn't change anything at all
This is who I am,
I just have to endure the inner brawl.
Definitely a mixture I would not wish on anyone, but I still love it because it makes me who I am.
595 · Mar 2018
Untitled
SeaChel Mar 2018

My mouth
may be as ***** as a sailor's,
but I promise you
my lips
are as sweet as honey.
I admit I like cussing.  It doesn't make me any less of a lady; I know when to bite my tongue.
SeaChel May 2013
What makes it so easy
to write personal works
from the heart,
the soul,
the inner workings of my mind
that then you, strangers,
read at your own will,
like, and comment?
Things I cannot even bring myself
to admit to those closest to me
or even yours truly.
The fact baffles me each time
I start typing.
568 · Jan 2018
His
SeaChel Jan 2018
His
soft lips
sensuous touch
hands pulling my hair
eyes boring into mine
fingers tickling my ribs
breath on my skin


wasn't yours, darling.






And that's why I couldn't do it.
SeaChel Apr 2013
I fatten them up first
by breaking their spine.
They sigh with thanks as they unfold
their tightly compressed pages.
Each dog-eared corner is a
goodnight kiss;
A place in which I bid to them,
"See you soon."
I am a surgeon to each of them as well;
a master in gluing and taping.
Because we all know a healthy book
is a worn book,
and as long as the pages
are all in order
it is craving to be read.
545 · Apr 2013
Depression
SeaChel Apr 2013
This black hole to nowhere
appears underneath me
from out of the blue
just to swallow me whole.

The longer I fall
the less I can see
the faster it gets
before I am consumed
e n  t   i    r     e      l       y
to the darkness.

*I am my own savior, yet I cannot save myself.
517 · Nov 2013
I still think of you.
SeaChel Nov 2013
There is more romance in a simple coffee stain
than there is in a single bone from my body.
SeaChel May 2013
You tell me I'm not passionate
although, I cannot grasp
how you presume this.
Passion is a form of art.
Please tell me which two artists
paint,
draw,
compose,
write,
interpret,
express
objects in the exact same way?
Just because we see/do things differently than others does not mean they do them wrong or do not do them at all.  It's called viewpoints and being individuals.
468 · Apr 2013
My body is a vacuum
SeaChel Apr 2013
It feels as though




nothing




exists within me.
Even though nothing is technically something.
462 · Apr 2013
Untitled
SeaChel Apr 2013
Why won't time just
s l o w   t h e   *******   d o w n
for once?
458 · Feb 2018
Birthday (Haiku)
SeaChel Feb 2018
Another year gone,
yet I do not feel any
older than before.
434 · Jan 2018
What You Don't Have
SeaChel Jan 2018
"You don't know what you have until it's gone,"
Words I've engrained into my brain
from years ago.
Always trying to be thankful
for every little thing.

Yet, you've gone
and I've realized that the pedestal
I always placed you on in my mind,
was simply an illusion.
Every time I said it could be worse,
it actually could've been better.

And now I know
I deserve somebody to value my worth
as a person,
lover,
friend.

Because you don't know what you don't have until it is long gone.
Words to digest for me.
SeaChel Apr 2013
The warmness of spring
fills my body
with pure ecstasy.
431 · May 2013
Untitled
SeaChel May 2013
Stars twinkle while suspended
in the dark sky above.
Some dim, others bright;
A handful hued, the majority white.
From their perch beyond, and
when their numbers appear multiplied
as the moon is absent,
they whisper, "destiny," to me.
414 · Jan 2018
Untitled (Haiku)
SeaChel Jan 2018
I feel more myself
than I have in a long while,
now that you have gone.
404 · May 2013
4:13am yesterday
SeaChel May 2013
A walking contradiction;
I do not want anyone to be dependent
upon me.
Yet, when no one needs me
I collapse.
Not in any way poetic, just word *****. I had to get this off my chest and what better way than to complete strangers?
389 · Nov 2013
Somewhere it's 3:21am
SeaChel Nov 2013
Bad habits die hard,
or so they say.
Though my bad habits
won't ******* die at all.
SeaChel Mar 2018
When life got harder
you were physically there still,
but your heart ran off.
383 · Feb 2018
Untitled
SeaChel Feb 2018
My heart aches
to feel something.
My head longs
for my heart to feel
anything.
Though I feel absolutely
nothing.
376 · Jan 2018
Hello Darkness...
SeaChel Jan 2018
I am a night owl,
a lone wolf
always howling at the midnight moon.

The sun sets
as the people do too
and Darkness comes to caress the minds
of those still holding on
to consciousness.
Many are plagued, violated
by the shadowy tendrils reaching out
to stroke the thoughts of the sentient.

However, I embrace Darkness
as though I would a lover.
Together we maneuver through my mind,
no area left untouched,
yet every scenario and possibility
touched on.

And when the first rays of sun
try to peak from around the curtain,
I somberly say, "So long," to Darkness
and then let Sleep cradle
my unconscious mind.
Who else has bad insomnia?  And by "bad," I mean being stuck up until 7 in the morning before you can fall asleep....  My body has gotten used to 3 hours of sleep again though (if you don't count running into walls and being unable to construct sentences).
375 · Apr 2013
First Love
SeaChel Apr 2013
The fierce kisses that bruise my lips,
he must be punishing them
for not being
her own he's kissing.
They way if she passes by,
his eyes will linger.
"I love you,"
surely is not intended for me
when she is around
(or if she is not).
The saying,
"You never forget your first love,"
is all too true.
I see it in my own first love.
I can see his pain,
although, he tries to lock it away.
I just don't understand how...
How can he love her
after she tore his heart right out
of his chest
and ******* destroyed it so that
it could belong to no one but her?
Something I've always feared and recently noticed more so... It terrifies me
375 · Feb 2018
Pisces Season
SeaChel Feb 2018
I thought I caught

the most prized fish;

breathtaking, rare, and all mine.

It was all a deception,

for what I actually got

was a slimy, ephemeral eel.
I know many wonderful Pisces, so not dissing on all those under the sign in any way <3
366 · Feb 2018
Untitled
SeaChel Feb 2018
Goosebumps dance
on a pale stage,
following after
where your fingertips traced.

Your hot breath pours
across the nape of my neck,
sending a tsunami of shivers
down
down
d
o
w
n
my spine
and through my limbs.

I open my eyes
needing to look into your own,
but am met with
the ****** ceiling.
I was dreaming
again
and yet I wasn't...

I dream that you're out there,
my dear,
living your own life
and maybe dreaming of me too.
The feeling of not being able to see a person in your dream is so frustrating.  I've had a reoccurring stranger in my dreams for the past couple years - blank faced, but I always know it's him - which makes me wonder if he's real and I meet him, will I know then too?
357 · Nov 2017
ocean tears
SeaChel Nov 2017
after hours, days, weeks of crying
over a love lost
i wondered how the water kept pouring
from my eyes
and how i did not shrivel into nothingness

however
then i realized the correlation
between the bottomless sea
and the endless salty tears
constantly leaking from my ocean eyes
using all lowercase for aesthetic purposes now...
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