F.
R.
I.
E.
N.
D.
S.

Or

L
   O
        V
            E
               R
                  S

I need both; from you.

GRACE

     vs

FORGIVENESS

Set me free

A New Beginning

Before this loves burns out
and
Before we carve out each others hearts
and
before we enslave our souls,
let us walk to the light
let’s start,
a new beginning.

Dear husband,

I pray that you  have God as your first love and you pray to him vigorously. I pray he hears your whispers, your screams, your silence, your tears of sorrow; and tears of joy.  I pray that he blesses you with the tools you need to build & keep your foundation sturdy and deeply rooted.

I pray that your past doesn't linger and damage your future. I pray that you fall madly in love with yourself and you know who you are as a man and understand what you stand for.  I pray that you evolve in this lifetime with your love, mind, body and soul. I pray that you are financially responsible and have the common sense that's needed to survive. I pray that you pray for me and our beautiful family and friends. I pray that you feel me, see me, understand me, like and love me as a woman and what I stand for. I pray that you have patience for us; be gentle enough for us.

A rapturous delight

I breathed you in as you seduced
My thoughts. You unlocked my mind
Then freed my soul.
My heart burst into
Ecstasy. You had me strung from
the way
You moved inside of me.
Every thought of
You and I; Every thought of you and I together being free.
getting lost inside
Of each other would make my heart
Putter. Every night I close my eyes
and Feel you
inside of me. Moving deeper and
Deeper and deeper.
Tasting your thoughts.
Sensing your touches. Craving what we were destined to create; a rapturous delight.

I believe in love,
Because
You delivered me and fed me.
I believe in trust,
cause when others gave me poison, you
reminded me to fall to my knees and ask god for mercy and grace
I believe in peace,
cause like water;
You soothe me.
I believe in loyalty,
because it’s a law in our code.
I believe in family,
Because of your love, honesty, and loyalty is
Unmatchable and unquestionable.

My soul is in mourning, my heart is pounding
From the heavy ache you've given to me.
Dear lover, why do you want me to suffer
Like this? What pain did I make you feel?
Why let me feel like poison?
This flame that came from our bones
Burned swiftly. How did this happen to us?
Why did our love have to die?
Is this lost a blessing or a curse?
Help me, please!
Here my call, Why are you doing this lover?

Directions

Maybe people who can’t tell directions have no directions in life.
Those same people end up being…
Some of them follow others path’s and a few of them make their own.
Why is it so hard trying to figure out your path, who you are and what you like.
Why is it that when people ask me questions, I hesitate with an answer.
hesitant at first because I want to please them. How about this; I don’t need your validation.
I don’t need your opinions or suggestions. I don’t care.
I really hate when people ask me those type of questions; as if they want to categorize me.
I’m not made to be put in a box. I won’t ever be.  Stop trying to label me or figure me out.
I’m everything I need to be.

You keep smiling
Keep dancing
Continue laughing
Keep staring at the stars
Continue looking up
You’re still growing darling
You’re getting close but still missing a few steps
Maybe you need to mature a little more for your new destination
Don’t settle in your own ways
Don’t settle in your old ways
Hey you…. Over there
Keep living in freedom with nothing to despair
Relax love,
There’s nothing that can bring you back, you’re free now.
Don’t settle in your own ways
Don’t settle with your old ways

For Me

This for the love that freed me.
The thoughts that haunted me.
The man I dreamed of.
This is for the woman I am,
I’m becoming, and once was.
This is for me.

For You


This is for the dishonesty you showed me.
the aches you gave me.
the tears I’ve cried.
this is for the fear you thought you put in me.
this is for the beating I gave,
to myself.
This is for the deliverance from a demon.
this is for the forgiveness
that I have within me
and tears of joy
it brought me.
this is for the love
that freed
me

Her name is yoni

            

              The divine who devours.
                   Deep inside of her
                       Lies serenity.
              A gift from the heavens
                   She embraces the
                Power of the universe.
                Through her majestic,
                          Earthiness.
                 ­    A sweet delicacy
                            She is.
                      A tender love
                        she gives.

We found love crumbling from our hands as
Our eyes glisten from the tears that have fallen to the floor yelling don’t let me fall, don’t let me go.
We found love in the rain sitting by the window whispering build me up, and hold me close.
We found love sitting on the stoop laughing at the birds flying and the kids playing…
We saw love planting seeds for the trees and whispering a prayer for protection
We heard love
We heard love make a promise to self
We told love don’t disappoint
We asked love to be pure and free
Because of those that still believe
Because of those that still need love to breathe
We thanked love for the reminder
We asked love if we could wait a while
Loved giggled
We asked love for grace
Love said it’s time
We thanked love
Because we are

I kept her to myself; peacefully, after all this time. I kept her silent and calm. I thought that if I could shun her away from the outside that she could still develop into the beauty I’ve always seen in her. I didn't believe that this world was ready for her. They’ll never be.

She was my little secret.
Why should I share my serenity with the rest of the earth?
Why give them my happiness when I know that they can’t protect it?

I begged her to not to let me relinquish her. I told her that the world will just abuse her and won’t understand her needs, just stay here when I feel that its time. She grew restless of being kept a secret. She no longer wanted to be kept in a shameful place. She knows that time is pivotal and no more of hers will be wasted. She knows what she needs.

Short lived pleasure is the parent of pain
And my guiltiest pleasure is your kiss.
A kiss that softly touches my lips which
Begin to make me quiver as I begin to take a deep breath
And realize that this will soon ache.
at that very moment I realize that I shouldn't
Love you because I need you,
I should need you because I love you.

inside of you is the reason and connection to us all, that’ll help us,heal; together.
Honor yourself.
Stop lying to yourself.
don’t force it out of you.
.....Just listen.

shades of Melanin.

It was gifted to us from the supreme.
It all started from that gift which is only inherited from us;
That we gave the world an enchanting and seductive formula.
From creamy vanilla to lustful ebony.
A rainbow of, melanin.
We are the light and the dark here on mother earth.
We glisten in the sun and glow in the moonlight.
We are the reign of earth and the creators of life.
Thanking the heavens for the shades of melanin.

Sorry

I’m sorry I didn’t take care of your heart the way I should have,
I took advantage of you.
I abused your love.
I was wrong for selfishly having you stay with me.
I made you look like a fool and I didn’t care; at the time.
I’m sorry for making you carry that pain subconsciously
with you all this time.
I blamed you for everything and put pressure on you when
I should have been more patient and gentle for us.
you’ve taught me how sacred true love is
and
I was reckless with yours.
I’m sorry for every time that I looked into your beautiful eyes,
I told you lies.
I’m sorry for wasting your time.
I’m sorry if these words aren’t enough for the damage that I caused.
If it makes a difference
I love you and,
I will always be here for you.

Spirituality

spir·i·tu·al·i·ty  \ˌspir-i-chə-ˈwa-lə-tē\
The quality or state of being connected to, the universe;
Often confused with the ecclesiastical laws.
A form of Biology as a belief; the Biology of belief.

This Moment


This moment is pivotal,
this moment could alter your destiny.
Don’t make  a permanent decision on temporary feelings.
Don’t believe the lies coming from behind his teeth into the crisp air.
Don’t look into his eyes for a future.
There isn’t one.
Take a deep breath in and Just close your eyes, and count to 10.
Now exhale.
Ask him that one question that’s been consuming your thoughts.
Ask him in this moment.
It might just be your only chance.

I'm ready for the flames that ignite from our passion and for the storm that clears it all away. I don't just want the good; I want the bad. I want the arguments and the crying and laughing and teasing and caressing and those soulful gazes and long winded conversations. I want the hard and soft version of you. I want your heaven and hell. I want your angels and your demons. I don't want to ******* anymore and play this game of not being able to read each other. I see you perfectly the way you are. I feel you all day. I pray for you day and night. I hear you speaking to me all day. One day we'll become so cocooned in our love that we'll taste eternity.

Be obedient to your love and peace
Don’t pretend
Don’t deny
Don’t rush
sometimes
The process needs to be readjusted
And
That’s ok.
In the beginning it’s rough
We look forward to the ending but fear the
Loss of what could be

What About Me

Did you think about me when you gave her apart of me?
when you were searching for your heaven in her,
did you truly feel at peace?
Did you feel what you wanted to feel?
taste what you were craving for?
Did you ever think in that moment
about me?

Sometimes I become so engulfed in my mind,
trying to figure out
what moments of magic I can create to sprinkle over my life
so I can just disappear like dust into the stars.
I find peace and light with some truth here.
I’m no longer sheltered.
I’m free
I pray no one catches me in this moment living in my greatest fantasy.
A daydream that keeps coming to me.
Oh how fascinating this place is to me
but
I have to come back to reality now
Until next time…

ॐ
Namaste

I honor the universe's light, beauty, love,truth and peace.
Because it is in me, and you;
it is, me and you.
Praying, for you to come unite with me in our heaven
where we are;
one thought,
breath,
body,
*soul.