My insomnia is back
Mind is outta whack
This isn't really poetry
But I think you know that
Thoughts of something heavenly
Looking back on past memories

*******, I need to do something with my life
I write poetry
and have written a few stories
Tried programming as well as screenwriting
which I enjoyed immensely, but it costs too much money!
So here I am, back again with a poem
Another form of a story
I like it a lot
and have been writing them for about six months
And I'll write them again and again
Until my heart stops beating
Does this have meaning?
I don't know, it's rhyming
So it must mean something

Anyways, I don't know what to say
I thought I had it today
But in darkness comes the devil
His presence ever so powerful
Telling me I am special
But I struggle, yet he smiles
Saying that I have potential
Which I can't even fathom, not in this world of mine
That I'd like to abandon
Nah, I'm only kidding
It ain't too bad
No idea where it's heading
But I'm glad
Because I hate spoilers
Just as much as my handlers

That's a joke, I ain't controlled
I would go on and on
But I ain't going down that rabbit hole
My time is on a tight schedule, I don't got all-day
Another joke, ain't that funny?

You are wasting time though honestly
Reading this poem filled with much variety
Quite interesting though, wouldn't you say honey?
Yikes, a major yikes
That was pretty cringe, but hey
You're alive! maybe lost a few brain cells
But you already lost 6 billion from reading this poem
Ain't that swell?
You should see no difference though
You're already dumb
And quite frankly, appear to be a major eyesore
You look like something from Mordor
Now that's a joke

I'm sure you look great
A person that all should appreciate
Perhaps someone with heavenly energy
Something I wish to duplicate
But I can't, because I can't escape
Not from these snakes
I have a role I must play, which is fake
So many roles, so many faces
All  of which I can't break

I don't even know the real me, what I want to be
I thought I enjoyed writing
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy writing poetry
But I don't really have that same feeling
When it comes to writing stories
What I want in life is to be free and happy
No worries, that type of thing
Writing poetry makes me happy
But it isn't stable, it doesn't bring money
What other thing is there besides poetry?
Maybe I'm being naive
Maybe I need to sacrifice some freedom
To have a stable income
But.. that isn't me, oh, I see!
At least I think
Help me, please

Yeah, this was one wild poem
If you can even call it that
It might be random
but that's okay
Insomnia made it whack
But also made me open about my current problem
You know, me not knowing what to be
Will poetry ever save me?
I suppose we will find out
When I wake up
From a deep sleep.

It's potent, the blood, that sits in my stomach
Darkness enveloped, body numb
This is how it is
When your the coming up
I wish things were different
But it is what it is
When you're just a product

A lot of parties, too many mollies, feeling like a zombie
I've got to get out of this place
But I've danced to their melody, seen the un-seen
and sold my soul
I will never find peace, It will haunt me
Wherever I go

I was passionate, desperate, but paid dearly for it
And all I have to show for it are blood-soaked tears
Nevermind my body
Which is covered in scars

Heart torn out
Soul gone
Look at me now mother, look at me now  father
Did your little boy do you proud?

Oh dear, what has happened to me?
I swear I was there but now I'm a tree
I really wish I was like a bird, flying high freely
But now I'm just here, all stuckly
Why oh why did this happened to me?

I've been pondering for such awhile
Now I've turned into a crocodile!
Oh dear, oh jeez, I'm not hostile - don't run away
I swear I'm worthwhile, please, come back this way
I just need someone to hang my head
Maybe watch the sunset
Perhaps to forget

It seems I forgot what I was saying
I also forgot my destination
Where was I going?
What were they controlling?
Oh dear, It looks like I forgot everything!

I see a beautiful monarch butterfly
Hello Mr.butterfly, what am I? what is my name?
Please, do not lie - at least give me a nickname
I cannot understand you
But what you speak is true
Thank you

Oh boy, what to do next?
Perhaps I'll attempt to forget
Or chase a white rabbit
Some might call it satanic
But I think it sounds fantastic
Secrets, my favorite.

One hand over the blade, another over the face
Breath in deeply and take a swing
Ignore the screaming, feel nothing
For he is smiling
For what you are sacrificing

So take a drink, have a sip
Pay no mind to what drips
Your mind has gotten dark
Your soul brands his mark
Hold your tongue and tell no secrets
For ignorance is bliss
Here in the apocalypse.

Do what thou wilt
A rule we're taught
A rule that carries us
Please, ignore the nosebleed
Just proceed and do not worry
We're among the elite, dead inside
And we'll do anything, anything at all
To feel complete
After all, who cares who we hurt
If it fills our needs

Prayers sent out
Never answered
Where's your savior?
He got sodomized, victimized
Then hung himself
What a surprise

Yahweh hanging from a tree? hurray!
Let's have a grand party and sacrifice the sheep
We'll dance, laugh, sing, and watch as they bleed
The dark is a curse we all have, a curse we all need
So let us rejoice, embrace the sensation
And awaken the beast tonight
That'll surely make our father happy.

Off to wonderland, a nightmare of a dream
If only you could see

Nothing but a  stain
To those that be
No end in sight, for my misery
so here I lay
Sleeping
To numb the pain
I believed
But I was only deceived

Wonderland, the place
Where you don't make amends
A place where your beliefs
Are canned
The place
Where you'll surly know pain
First hand

It wasn't worth it
But I was desperate
Now I'm ******, forever
In wonderland.

Tiptoe, down the rabbit hole we go
Eyes shut
Mouths closed
Can't tell them what we know

Times a-ticking
It's a-coming
The great killing, the great sweeping
A mystery to those sleeping

Exciting to those lurking
Sad to those fighting
Angels screaming, demons laughing  
It's all happening, then there's the Rothschilds
Who are thriving

Can you see in the dark, friend?
I hope you're well dressed
Cheers to you
If you understand.

Nowadays you get called a transphobic, sexist ****
For speaking honestly
What am I trying to say?
there are 2 genders, not 52 and just saying you're a thing
Doesn't make you that thing

No, it isn't sexist to hold a door for a women
or to complement one
if you believe that
Then you're just dumb

No, it isn't racist to call someone black
if you believe that
Then your mind is out of whack

No, it isn't fat-shaming when you want someone to get healthy
if you believe that
Then your brain is tiny

No, no joke is offensive in a serious way
because it is a joke
Get over yourself or go away
seriously, go away
this world doesn't need snowflakes
they should be nailed to the cross for christ sakes
see that? that was a joke
I don't want anyone on the cross
even then, someone probably got triggered
oh no, a joke, what?
Is your mind getting tortured?
Pick yourself up and look at yourself
just stop.

Don't know what to do in this life
I guess I'll grab a knife, slice it up
And find something in the next life
Sounds like a plan Batman
Maybe when I wake up in the next life
I'll be in the body of superman
Oh goody,  you sure are the man Batman!

I'll fly in the skies like a bird
Destroy those who are cruel
Be remembered forever and ever
Wouldn't that be beautiful

Hey captain boss man, how long is my lifespan?
I don't want to wait
Don't wanna watch my life dissipate
Can you **** me now Mr. captain bossman
Oh geez Batman captain man, thanks!
After you **** me
please give my best friend my underpants
Him having them is his destiny
Thanks, now I'll die happily.

Here we are again in the moonlight
all of us dressed in a black cloak
and no sounds are heard, not even a frog's croak.

we invoke that which slumbers in the darkness
and dance along to the tune of humanity's cries
I'm getting tired of hanging with you guys
I want to leave, but I know that's unwise.

I want to apologize to those that I love
that I care for, you guys mean so much
I know you guys judge me for how I ended up
and I know I ****** up
but *******, I love you all so much.

Mind enclosed
Body controlled
Soul exposed
Behold, I am that which is owned

Pleasure in pain
Pain in pleasure
I giveth to the altar
So please
Set my soul aflame
Anything for a little fame.

What's behind the door?
You wanna know, are you sure?
A masquerade ball with freaks down the hall
Rooms filled to the brim with sinners, a party
Of animalistic nature
Come now, let us illuminate your mind
You'll become a god, that I'm sure

I know you are confused
but I'll have you know this is your destiny, and please
Pay no mind to what you see
There will be more parties after this
It's alright, it's okay, it'll start feeling like bliss eventually
Now sit quietly and listen to the children hiss
Isn't it bliss?

So come on, dance with us to the tune of a rising Babylon
Do what you want and bathe in the dark
Follow that spark, you won't be stopped
Not by those awed
Nor by the Christian god

A masquerade ball for those who chose one door
The door to make them fall forevermore
No secrets told, an oath they swore
Trading blood for worship
Anything, anything at all
For a little Love.

I remember the time when little Timmy was getting beat up
A group of them kicked and stomped on him till he bled out
It's pretty graphic but his skull was fractured like a broken chestnut
The world is a ****** place, dog eat dog out there and little Timmy
Well he never liked it out here, he always said that this world was corrupt
This world with evil, vile, inhumane people who think they are important

If you ask me, those group of kids are no different than the government
Don't even get me started on the people who are above the government
They are **** of the earth who want nothing more than the universe
Nothing but a bunch of predators who find bliss in watching those suffer
Curators of false truths and disasters, one hand over the eye and another over a dagger soaked in the blood of the innocent
They may be worse than tyrants but they sure as hell are intelligent
I suppose that isn't true.. maybe society is blinded by their brilliance

Society, going from one place to another like hollowed-out drones
Dreams lost into the ether, living in sorrow with both hands on their iPhone
Leaving what could have been to the Unknown, milestones never reached
And nothing remarkable on their gravestone

Don't let that be you, take control of your life and chase your dreams
Become the better you, believe and keep your head held high
Your time is nigh and you will succeed.

Angels crying
Reality fading
Just little old me
Trying for perfection
It's hard enough as it is
I don't even want to do this anymore
But I have to
So I can impede my possession

A dark connection was made years ago
Its eyes were filled with darkness and corruption
I see that every day in my reflection
Once upon a time, it was bliss
But now
Now I must get out of this mess

I've been doing really good
But they tell me there's no escape
So what is the point
If that part of me cannot be destroyed
My hands are tied and I'm really annoyed
Forget those times where I was overjoyed
Guess I should just deal with it like I always have
God, I'm such a *******
But I'm sure I'll have the last laugh.

Hi, my name is Anthony and I'm actually in agony
that isn't true, that is just pure fantasy
just like our lives, I know I'm real
are you sure the only you is you?
that's blasphemy, says the ones who can't see
but don't they know this isn't the only reality?
there are people out there trying to hide many truths
everyone's heard their name, the Illuminati
they are not a fantasy, they run this galaxy
they don't care for humanity
and they are the reason for many tragedies
my name is Anthony, I speak truth
and there is nobody who can stop me.

It seems life done change after walking on that stage
There were hundreds of eyes on me
I was nervous
Couldn't stop thinking about the things that happened backstage
I've gone through hell to get this far
But I'm ready to play my part here
Here on the world stage.

I see you've been empty
Forget about society
They can't see clearly
But I can
I can see your beauty
Come with me
Away from society
Away from all the negativity
Somewhere heavenly
A place to do what we please
How 'bout Cali?
I'll treat you like a celebrity
I'll take your humanity
But I'll keep you safe
Safe from society

Finally
Someone worthy.

I said this once
and I'll say it again
we don't need anymore
Pomegranates

Its red body is evil
its sent, tempting
it comes from the devil
which makes it awful

Maybe I'm just ignorant
Maybe it is really good
Perhaps I'll have a taste
and become amazed

I've wasted so much time
hating on something
Not worth the dime
but today I'll change my ways
and have my old self
Become amazed

Pomegranates, you are oh so
Sublime.

I lay here with my mind expanding
And ignore my body
As it starts aching

Cloak and Daggers, masks and all
I begin laughing
And stand tall
Even with this pain
I will overcome them all

The secrets I keep
The masks I wear
I will succeed, It might not be easy
But is a load that I'm willing to bear
Even in this hellish nightmare

A sinner
A thinker
Brought in hook, line, and sinker
Now just a prisoner
Who is free to do what I please
It goes deeper
But there's no treasure
Not down here at least.

The higher I go
The more things become bizarre
I don't have a lot to show
But I know I'll make it far
Even with all these scars

Everything is swell
here in hell
We are united
And we make the best of it
Not corrupted, just illuminated
A true free spirit is he
Who is not morally restricted
We do not judge
Only love

Feel no guilt
Become an outlaw
Do what thou wilt
Shall be the whole of the law
So mote it be
Society too shall see.

Feeling overwhelmed with what's going on
Don't ask me how I handle this
I just do what needs to be done
Yeah, I've got my reasons
But don't be mistaken
This isn't bliss
Not from what I've done

I should have listened to my intuition
But it's too late
Now I'm numb
And there's no exit
Just me in this closet
With so many secrets

Metaphors all around
Which go round and round
You'll never understand
But I'm sure you will
One day

How long will this last
How long will I survive
Who knows
Certainly not me
Just a nobody in my twenties
Who has a knack for poetry
Writing and writing
Only for it to bring nothing
Nah, it makes me forget about reality
So I guess that's something

Where is this going?
Who knows, certainly not me
Just a nobody in my twenties
Who lives in poverty
Hey, have some money?
I'll write you a lovely story
With a man named Johnny
Who has a girlfriend named Lucy
She's real juicy
BUT WAIT
She's a zombie
That's pretty filthy
I'm sorry

This poem turned out pretty bad
But it is what it is
Insomnia at it's finest
Anyways, I hope you have a splendid day
So goodbye, farewell
See you in hell.

Dancing to the melody of those that be
The wolves came out to set me free
They all began grinning
And doused me in some milk and  honey
Now my soul has gotten *****
Anything for a little money

They gave me a blindfold
And started to lead the way
Because they are the ones
Who are in control
Now I'm in a tub
Filled with blood

The trauma
The rituals
It wasn't worth my soul
So here I lay
Just another youth
Gone hollow.

I need to write something funny
or else I'm going to get murdered
by a really fat bunny
This may seem like a joke
but please, it isn't funny
my life is on the line here
and I'll say anything
to get out of here.

In its cute tiny hands is a knife
and on its thigh is a tattoo
A tattoo of someone's wife
I can't really explain anything more
but she's definitely
A major eyesore
Not as bad as this fat bunny
who belongs in Mordor.

I don't think the fat bunny is laughing
and he's getting ready
to start stabbing
I can't believe
this is
happening.

Oh no, I'm dead
Well this isn't cool
That bunny was a total butthead.

The darkest hour is the time when we all get together,
dancing and singing, laughing and crying;
until one man starts dying.
"Disgusting!" says the weak man, "Horrifying!" said the next;
Don't they know that they too are next?

Corpses and blood are everywhere;
just another night, for a bunch of millionaires.
in order to make it, you need to be strong;
for prayers are not allowed here.
praying is for the cattle, the sheep;
and we are above those who are asleep.

Feeling light as a feather
When I'm going higher
It's a neverending sensation
Like no other

There are others out there like me who made it
We are few and this place is a shitshow
Its a mess
a total zoo
My heart is beating
and bleeding
and I don't know what to do

I've danced around the wolves for far too long
Now I'm in this place with a bunch of empty faces
I thought I made it
thought that was it
Now I feel like a fool
They justed wanted my soul

They will never have it *******
I'm not that desperate
Not that twisted
but for that kind of success
and that kind of money
I'll let you corrupt me
I'll let you break my spirit
Anything for a little profit
Who knew following the bunny
would make me a little wicked.

I'm tired but I'm hungry too
so I'm going to grab a slice of bread
and lay in bed until the afternoon.

Here I am with my head held high
Leaving this deserted land
Straight towards those mesmerizing gates
Of wonderland

I don't know how many times I've been through this
These traumatic events are intense
And the pain from electric shock is immense
But the drugs they give
They are truly pure bliss

I never asked for this
But here I am
Without the help of my friends
And it's just me
Dealing with all of this
It's okay though
I'm too selfless
And I didn't want any of them
Brought into my life's mess

I love them
And I miss them so ******* much.

Wide awake, I don't dream
Feels like I'm dying here
I just wanna scream

To the end, I march on
Singing along with the illuminated ones
They drain blood and we move on
Forget about the crying, we're keeping secrets
Just another day surviving in Babylon

We've done it now, we're so utterly ******
Can't stop love
Can't stop those corrupt
Just take a bow, play ignorant
We're already ******
So do what you can, make amends
And get ready for your punishment

The end is nigh
and we're all going to die
Don't even try stopping it
Or you'll surely regret it.

I've turned a blind eye to your heartwarming lies
I can't see anymore
but I hear the angels and their cries
They are upset
Upset with what I've sacrificed

I'm sorry for everything I've done
I just needed to escape the illusion
and flee to a place where I'm awakened
Nothing new there
**** religion
I've done my time and have risen from the ashes
No god or king is going to hold me down
That's for certain

I just wanted everything
So I slept with Satan
Who cares if I'm bleeding
Who cares if I'm falling
I lost nothing
but that was just the beginning.

Feeling numb to what's coming
A fading reality, a coming duality
Society just victims
Of a corrupted system
I want to help them
Though I'm wicked
And most certainly not welcomed
I must do something, anything
Against those puppet masters
Who control the system

Perhaps I'll start my own secret society
A flip of the pyramid
A rebellion from within
Ah, I don't know
Just thinking.

There lays a man
In a shallow grave
He's Alone, cold to the bone
And there's nothing remarkable
On his gravestone

The dirt all around him smooth
He wants out
But is unable to move
He tries to speak
He tries to scream
But his body refuses

His mind starts racing
Am I alive?
Did I already die?
Am I here for an eternity?
Will I ever be free?

Memories begin to fade
Bones become colder
Vision darkens
And he begins to sleep

Years later
He awakes and finds himself alone
He's cold to the bone
He wants out
But is unable to move
He tries to speak
He tries to scream
But his body refuses
His mind begins to race
Am I alive?
Did I already die?
Will I ever be free?
Am I here for an eternity?

The cycle repeats
Such is the life
Of humanity.

I've got my book and I've got my blade
a drop of blood until a pacts been made
in ten years time the price is paid
my soul in its hands
far far away.

On the way to rainbow road
Where does it end, no one knows
A land filled with tragedy and misery
Such is the life of hollowed drones

Joining those wicked
Devils night commenced
Sinners laughing
Praying suppressed
Repent, repent, this is hell
Repent, repent, I'm possessed
Repent, repent, I'm in heaven and this is bliss
Feel the serpents kiss

The moon fades, soul sold away
just another star who's been led astray
Guided by demons
Everything will be okay.

I still run, I still hide
But there's no getting away from the light
The light that burns ever so deep
I just wanted to be free
But got caught by pride, now I'm terrified

I was told I needed a sacrifice
A sacrifice to stay civilized, how could that be?
A moment ago I was on the grind
Now I'm blind, blinded by those that be
They just sit there, smiling happily
I was stupid and deprived
Now I'm just another person whos been victimized
Terrorized
Utilized
I don't apologize, It's what I wanted
I'm now a god, totally idolized

Good things come to those who are wicked
So don't pray for me and don't demonize me
Remember, I didn't just fall
I leapt
So worship me
Maybe then you'll be my favorite
And become Illuminated.

Death is a sad thing but I understand it's inevitable
and when I'll leave, I'll leave with a great big smile
because I know I'll be in a place with a little less evil
and if I have to reincarnate back, I'll make a deal with the devil
so I won't come back to a world so awful
it might be blasphemy, but it sure as hell better
then living a life so painful.

The time I spent at school was miserable
and I envy those who had a great time
though the end was beautiful
Being there was a waste of time

I know it may seem a little sad
but seriously, it was just awful
I did slack on some days
but for that, I am thankful
because I didn't waste any time
on something so deceitful
Something outright hurtful to the mind.

Remember to come out alive as a human
and not as a machine
for you are a man
not a machine.

Candles on the floor, Angels ignored
Blood on the wall
Enlightenment forevermore

Fallen angels beg for mercy
Screams echo throughout
Yesterday a fading memory
Us children locked out

Its as I feared
God bailed out.

I've got the inspiration to write
But can't find the passion
When looking inside
What is wrong with me?
Will it ever ignite?
Or will it go up in flames
Just like everything else
In my life

I've tried many things for long periods of time
But haven't got the talent
For any of them to succeed
So here I lay alone
In my dark little room
Fatigued and incomplete
Not knowing what to do
With my life

I'm just an introvert in my early twenties
Sure, I'm an oddball at times
But I'm starved
Starved for something more in this life

Don't know where to start
But my bank has pennies
So I guess I'll do anything
For the money
A sacrifice I must do
to run away from a life I don't want
Or need

I wish I was in paradise
I wish I was free
But all I can do right now
Is fantasize.

Quiet day in a shade of grey
Today, the same as yesterday
Just like any other day
All the same
For a castaway.

The life that was once was has faded
Now the life before us is twisted
Nothing can stop it
Not those good-hearted
Nor to those who are soundly minded
It's set in stone
No thanks to those
Who are truly wicked.

This land built off lies
You've got Hollywood filled demons
And The Vatican keeping secrets
Billions of people following blindly
Never asking questions
Look at society
Look at humanity
We were meant for so much more
What a tragedy.