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I need to write something funny
or else I'm going to get murdered
by a really fat bunny
This may seem like a joke
but please, it isn't funny
my life is on the line here
and I'll say anything
to get out of here.

In its cute tiny hands is a knife
and on its thigh is a tattoo
A tattoo of someone's wife
I can't really explain anything more
but she's definitely
A major eyesore
Not as bad as this fat bunny
who belongs in Mordor.

I don't think the fat bunny is laughing
and he's getting ready
to start stabbing
I can't believe
this is
happening.

Oh no, I'm dead
Well this isn't cool
That bunny was a total butthead.
Created by me on December 29th, 2019
I belive this is the last funny poem I've wrote. really good though, I should go back to writing these whacky poems.
Proctor Ehrling Sep 2019
I sprung at the pinnacle
Unwriting my chronicle
With love non-reciprocal
I shall start anew
I laid bare in muddle hub
With beasts of animal club
I'm stuck at the stub
And solitude brew
And so I continue to clear my notebooks of stuff that seems more-or-less cohesive enough to share here.
Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and which of my available paths should be taken,
to lead me into future.

That's when I encountered a strange message
scratched in the bark of an old oak:
"Dear wanderer, please beware, as your life is on the line.
My wife, a very farseeing woman, went into these woods alone,
against my will, of course, as I have seen the dangers she might face,
Wolfes, inviting her nitty-gritty to a delicious meal,
Bears, rubbing their chubby cheeks at her,
Snakes, weaving wildly around her feet,
but most dangerous of all the whacky wicked witch,
keeping her from ever going back."

I remember sudden feelings of anxiousness and shiver
I had encountered only once before,
that was when a strange man came to my house
asking me if I had seen a pretty woman
with snowwhite hair and pretty face:
"I tried to find her all day and night long,
but I couldn't find her anywhere,
I fear my wife got lost - or worse...
as a whacky wicked witch is living here!"  

Lately I walked deep into a forest near my house,
as I often spend there my afternoons and nights,
thinking about what happened in my life
and who will be the next to come and visit
**me and my whacky wicked house.
Oh this was fun... so creepy, but so much fun ;-)...

— The End —