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EFFECTS OF CHILD ABUSE ON PERFORMANCE OF PRIMARY SCHOOL IN KAPYEMIT WARD, TURBO CONSTITUENCY, UASIN-GISHU COUNTY.





BY
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14




A RESEARCH PROJECTSUBMITED TO THE SCHOOL OF ARTS AND SOCIAL SCIENCES, DEPARTMENT OF SOCIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY IN THE PARTIAL FULFILMENT FOR THE AWARD OF THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF SOCIOLOGY



MAY, 2014

DECLARATION

I, the undersigned, declare that this project is my original work and that it has not been presented in any other university or institution for academic credit.

Signature...............................................­..... Date...................................
ERICK NYAKUNDI
KIS/03013/14






SUPERVISOR
This project has been submitted for examination with my approval as university supervisor
DR. W. O. ABUYA
Signature..................................................­.. Date....................................




DEDICATION
I dedicate this work to my Dad, Mom, my sister Lydia and my lovely brother Dun who contributed in one way or another to make this project to be successful.


















ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to thank all individuals who contributed and sacrificed their time towards completion of this project.
To my supervisor, for the guidance and support in the development of this research project, His advice and criticism made this project what it is.
Thanks to colleagues and friends for their suggestions, advice and encouragement. To all of you may God bless you abundantly for your tireless effort.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Contents Page
DECLARATION i
DEDICATION ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS iv
LIST OF TABLES vii
LIST OF FIGURE viii
ABSTRACT ix
CHAPTER ONE 10
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM 10
1.1 Background of the Study 10
1.2 Research Questions 13
1.3 Research Objectives 13
1.4 Justification of the Study 13
1.5 Significance of the Study 14
1.6 Scope of the Study 15
1.6.1Assumptions of the Study 16
CHAPTER TWO 17
LITERATURE REVIEW 17
2.1 Introduction 17
2.2 Common Forms of Child Abuse 17
2.2.1 Child ****** Abuse 17
2.2.2 Physiological or Emotional Abuse 17
2.2.3 Physical Abuse 18
2.2.4 Child Neglect or Abandonment 18
2.2.4.1 Physical Neglect 19
2.2.4.2 Educational Neglect 19
2.2.4.3 Medical Neglect 19
2.2.5 Child Fatalities 20
2.3 How Child Abuse Affects Academic Performance 20
2.3.1 Child Abuse and Academic Performance 20
2.3.2 Child Abuse and School Image 23
2.3.3 Child Abuse and Dropout Rate 25
2.4 Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 26
2.4.1 Role of Public Regulation 26
2.4.1.1 Nurturing and Attachment 27
2.4.1.2 Social Connections 27
2.5 Theoretical Framework 27
2.5.1 Learning Theory 28
2.5.1.1 Relationship with the Study 28
2.5.2 Family Dysfunction Theory 29
2.5.2.1 Relationship with the Study 29
CHAPTER THREE 30
RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY 30
3.0 Introduction 30
3.1 Site Description 30
3.2 Research Design 30
3.3.1 Target Population 30
3.3.2 Sample Size and Sampling Procedure 31
3.4 Description of Research Instruments 32
3.4.1 Research Instrument 32
3.4.1.1 Questionnaire 32
3.5 Data Collection Procedure 32
3.5.1 Validity and Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.1 Reliability of Research Instruments 33
3.5.1.2 Validity 33
3.6 Data Analysis and Presentation 33
CHAPTER FOUR 35
DATA PRESENTATION AND ANALYSIS 35
4.0 Introduction 35
4.1 Background Information 35
4.1.1 Age of the Respondents 35
4.1.2 *** of the Respondents 35
4.1.3 Education Level of the Respondents 36
4.1.4 Marital Status 36
4.2 Specific Information 37
4.2.1 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 37
4.2.2 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 38
4.2.3 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 41
CHAPTER FIVE 43
SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATIONS 43
5.0 Introduction 43
5.1 Summary of the findings 43
5.2 Discussion of the Findings 44
5.3 Conclusion 45
5.4 Recommendations 46
REFERENCES 47

LIST OF TABLES & FIGURES
Table 3.1 Target population 32
Table 3.1 Sample size 33
Table 4.1 Age of the Respondents 36
Table 4.2 *** of the Respondents 37
Table 4.3 Education Level of the Respondents 37
Table 4.4 Marital Status 38
Table 4.5 Effects of Child Abuse on Academic Performance 38
Table 4.6 How Child Abuse Affects Dropout Rate of Students in School 40
Figure 4.1 Views of the Pupils on Abuse 41
Table 4.7 Proposed Strategies that Schools can Employ to Curb Child Abuse 42





















ABSTRACT
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The purpose of the study was to investigate the effect of child abuse on school performance in Primary Schools in Kapyemit ward, Uasin-Gishu County. The objectives of the study were: To assess the impacts of child abuse on academic performance; to determine the effects of child abuse on schools image, to identify the impacts of child abuse on pupil drop out rate, to investigate the effects of child abuse on pupil transition rate. The study employed a survey study design. The study targeted 160 respondents which includes; 5 Head Teachers, 40 Teachers, 70 Pupils and 35 parents of which a sample size of 48 was obtained from using 30%. Purposive sampling technique was used in selecting the head teachers while simple random sampling technique will be used to select the teachers, Pupils and parents who formed the respondents of the study. Questionnaires and interview schedules were used as data collection instruments. Data was analyzed quantitatively and qualitatively and presented in form of tables, percentages and frequency. The study helped in the understanding of the effects of child abuse on the school performance, the realization of the roles parents and teachers play in the curbing of child abuse among pupils and raising awareness on the same.

CHAPTER ONE
STUDY OVERVIEW AND STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
1.1 Background of the Study
Child abuse is the physical, ****** or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child or children. The consequences of child maltreatment can be profound and may endure long after the abuse or neglect occurs. The effects can appear in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood, and may affect various aspects of an individual's development (e.g., physical, cognitive, psychological, and behavioral). These effects range in consequence from minor physical injuries, low self-esteem, attention disorders, and poor peer relations to severe brain damage, extremely violent behavior, and death. In extreme cases, child abuse affects the performance of schools in the affected region (Daniel, 1978).
Performance refers to how students deal with their academic studies and how they cope with or accomplish different tasks given to them by their teachers. Performance is also the ability of a school to portray a good image which can influence the public (Decastro, 1978). There are several factors that influence the performance of a school at large, however, there is a critical factor that most researchers have avoided to discuss, and child abuse has been a crucial factor that has contributed to children’s dismal performance. Apart from children’s personal intelligence, child abuse is among then key factors contributing to poor performance of learners. Child abuse can lead to school dropping, emotional trauma or can even be fatal, hence destructing or even terminating the educational ambitions of a child. (Harris, 2005)
Worldwide, according to World Health Organization (WHO, 2000) approximately 40 million children are subjected to child abuse each year. According to Human Rights Watch (2001) about 30% of all severely disabled children relegated to special homes in the Ukraine died before they reached 18 years of age. UNICEF estimates that two million children died as a result of armed conflict during a recent 10-year period and that another six million were injured or disabled. In Canada, the U.S. and Mexico, over 6.5 million children annually are exposed to unwanted ****** materials over the internet; over 1.7 million of these report distress over exposure to these materials. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Department for Children and Families (DCF) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child. Child abuse can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. Each year, approximately one million children around the world are introduced into commercial ****** exploitation despite this problem; these developed countries have put measures to curb the vice. Rehabilitation schools have been formed and introduction of counseling centers as well. Despite the prevalence of child abuse in this developed nations they narrowly affect the academic performance since there are organizations put in place to curb the situation e.g. child associations, guidance and counseling institutions, and school based counseling programs (Giles, 2001)
Concern for victims of child abuse in Africa expressed by the African network of the International Society for The Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect (ISPCAN) which gave five main presentations of child abuse: child labor, street wandering, ****** abuse, child battering and abandonment (Elma, 1977). Child labor according to the international labor organization (ILO), about 10 million children less than 15years in Africa are in formal employment, working long hours with poor pay and are exposed to substantial health hazards. Wandering of children refers to children, usually unkempt and with delinquent propensities, living rough in town. The reasons for children taking to the street remain poorly understood particularly in relation to factors in the child rather than parental hostility and economic (Dubowitz, 2002)
****** abuse is another. For example, arranged under-age marriages are common in some parts of the continent and doubt was often expressed as to whether a young girl fully gave consent to being betrothed (Galdsone, 1965). Prevalence rates in Africa are very difficult to ascertain because of the fear of disclosure by victims and lack of proper documentation. Most of the girls by reasons of shame fear or surprisingly respect for their usually older perpetrators. Physical battering is also eminent. Physical abuse of children is widely claimed to berate in the third world; however, there are anecdotes from east Africa skeletal frame or localized body areas of all first attendees aged 0-12 years at this hospital during the four-year period 1 January 1987 to 31 December 1990 (Garbarino, 1975). Sixty-nine of these reports reveals evidence of multiple bone fractures wither without evidence of rib or skull fracture. Abandonment of children to roam around the streets in what we call street children is also eminent in Africa, though valid and adequate information on abandonment are difficult to obtain due mainly to failure of offending parents to show up out of guilt, shame, judicial repercussions or a combination of these. However, some euro-American missionaries identified inter alia breech birth. (Erickson, 2003)
Child protection measures in Kenya are currently not implemented effectively and fully (Galdstone, 1965). Compliance with such legislation would increase if the magnitude of the problem and better knowledge about the factors that put children at risk was available. Additionally, involving stakeholders, especially agencies charged with protection, as well as involving affected children, will highlight the issues and thereby promote adherence to protection policies. Kenyan children, child activists and children organizations are pinning their hopes on the implementation of the Children’s Act to improve the lot of the nation’s youth. The Act, which came into effect on 1 March 2002, puts in place full safeguards for the rights of the child. Its passage was a giant stride in harmonizing the national laws with international agreements which Kenya has signed such as the UN Conventions on the Rights of the Child (CRC, 2002)
There is hope that the new legislation will dramatically change the inattention, neglect and abuse towards child rights. The Act outlaws any form discrimination of children, and forbids Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), child prostitution, and child labor, among other forms of abuse. The Children’s Act has immensely improved the lives of many Kenyan children plagued with high illiteracy levels, frequent **** cases and child labor since it guarantees children the right to health and medical care, provision of which is the responsibility of the parents, the extended family and the government (Erickson, 2005).
Cases of child abuse in Uasin-Gishu region have been so eminent in the recent years ((Kenya Media Report, 2004). In the year 2010 and the year 2011, there was a program started to rehabilitate this behavior. This problem is clearly evident when you first arrive in Eldoret town, it is among the towns in the country with the highest number of abandoned children who keep on moving from one Centre to another seeking help from passersby. Parents have developed behaviors of abandoning their children and deliberately sending them to the town so that they can benefit from their borrowing. So to say this has led to child labor in this region. High profile cases of school dropouts have been recorded regarding the environs of this region. Young school children from different locations in Eldoret converge in town to persuade people to offer them financial assistance. Some attend school in numbered days and decide to spend some good number of days out of school.
The communities and societies around tend to assume this situation and term it as norm. A few who might seem concerned lack cooperation from the rest. This has adversely affected the performance of most of schools, hence leading to poor living standards of the people and a poisoned future of a young citizen. The problem has affected learners in regions like many areas in Uasin-Gishu County. It has really affected child development and affected their attendance and performance in school. Little intervention measures has been taken to advocate the holistic development of the children. It was to this reason that the researcher conducted the research in the named above region
1.2 Research Questions
The study was guided by the following questions;
1) What is the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward?  
2) What are some of the proposed strategies that schools can employ to curb child abuse?
1.3 Research Objectives
The study was guided by the following research objectives;
1) To identify the effect of child abuse on the academic performance of students in Kapyemit Ward.
2) To identify proposed strategies that can be employed to help curb child abuse.
1.4 Justification of the Study
It is becoming increasingly difficult to separate child abuse prevention into separate categories. For instance, strategies on the societal level include increasing the “value” of children, increasing the economic self-sufficiency of families, discouraging corporal punishment and other forms of violence, making health care more accessible and affordable, expanding and improving coordination of social services, improving the identification and treatment of psychological problems and alcohol and drug abuse, providing more affordable child care and preventing the birth of unwanted children.
Very little analysis has been done to estimate the total cost of preventing child abuse and neglect or the long-term social costs of not preventing it. There is now a move to situate child abuse and neglect within the continuum of intervention which addresses multiple aspects of family behaviors. The efficacy of tackling portions of the problem of child abuse apart from broader societal needs is not known. And, perhaps prevention can only come in tandem with efforts to reduce poverty, improve health care and make children’s issues a national priority. However, despite these constraints, evaluations of prevention programs can be improved by coming to terms with definitions of key varia
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Twisted morbid thoughts
Venomous dreams
Poisonous looks
Life ******* streams
Love dies
Memories fade
Hearts grow cold
Feelings go numb
Lonely empty open space
All the time in the world to waste
Alone in life is alone in death
Never alone when on crystal ****.

© 1997 Crystal Erickson
Aaron Mullin Oct 2014
I've always been in place,
in situ
Maybe (just maybe) ...
I'm sui generis?

When my lifeline intersected with spacetime on this continuum
I found myself moving toward a collision course with duality and non-duality
Moving towards a zero-point

What are we talking about?
Nothing (Rafelski & Muller, 1985)

As a geographer, the mimetic expression was dualistic
As one plane flowed through another;
as fiat lux flowed through Medicine Rock
I found wisdom

I further explored the duality @ this place
(also known as University of Lethbridge)

The U of L is an interesting duck

It walks like an Albertan university
It talks like an Albertan university
But one of these things is certainly not like the other

The U of L got its chops as a house of learning for the Liberal Arts
Follow those roots and you'll see conduits to another spacetime known as UCBerkley
U of L memetics share material memories from the birth of the Free Speech Movement (1964)

And as Arthur Erickson drafted up his plans for Canada's centennial gift to the Province of Alberta, I'm sure he would have been partaking in the pleasures of this particular spacetime

I'm sure at the very least that he was listening to Hendrix wax on about Castles

As Erickson designed this modernistic monolith called University Hall
There were influences such as Arthur C. Clarke and his novel 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
He was certainly knowledgeable of the Blackfoot stories of the Old Man
And of course as an architect he would be versed in gravity and how built structures on a ***** tend to creep toward base-level
Strange but true, Erickson's first degree was in foreign languages

So what I see is Canada's premier architect wrote a poem for us in 1968
In a foreign language
And that poem would be expressed over the next forty to fifty years

Some of those primary poetic elements were:
Berkley, California
Hippie Movement
Creep (or gravity)
Base level
Blackfoot creation stories of the Old Man
Jimi Hendrix poetry and his savage musical genius

"and so castle's made of sand melt into the sea, eventually."

So let's reinterpret that line to be more U of L centric
(through my glossy apertures)

"and so monolith's made by man melt back into god eventually."

........ ....... ...... ..... ..... .... ... .. . zero~point . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........
REFERENCES

in situ: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_situ

sui generis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sui_generis

Spacetime: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spacetime

Duality: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duality

Non-duality: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nondualism

Zeropoint: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-point_energy

Nothing: Rafelski & Muller (1985). The Structured Vacuum: Thinking about Nothing. ISBN 3-87144-889-3

Geography: Science focusing on places and spaces, on humankind's stewardship of the Earth, and on the inter-related problems associated with environmental, economic, political and cultural change. The study of spatial variation in both physical and human phenomena on Earth.

Memetics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memetics

fiat lux: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Lethbridge

Medicine Rock: http://www.uleth.ca/artsci/first-nations-transition-program/medicine-rock-story-our-blackfoot-name

Wisdom: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisdom

University of Lethbridge: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Lethbridge

Alberta: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alberta

Liberal Arts: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_arts_education

University of California, Berkley: http://berkeley.edu/about/

Free Speech Movement (1964): http://bancroft.berkeley.edu/FSM/

Arthur Erickson: http://www.arthurerickson.com/educational-buildings/lethbridge-university/7/

Jimi Hendrix: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimi_Hendrix

Castles Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jimihendrix/castlesmadeofsand.html

Modernism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modernism

Monolith: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monolith

2001: A Space Odyssey: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001:_A_Space_Odyssey_%28film%29

Blackfoot Mythology: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackfoot_mythology

Creep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downhill_creep

Base Level: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Base_level

Foreign Languages: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_language

Poetry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poetry

Hippie Movement: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_hippie_movement

Creep: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downhill_creep

Blackfoot Mythology: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackfoot_mythology

Jimi Hendrix: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimi_Hendrix

Castle's Made of Sand: http://youtu.be/PiBF_hJ3sSE

Glossy Aperture: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/422001427554852688/
Also GOTO: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/877844/inferno/

Indigenous Science: http://www.wisn.org/what-is-indigenous-science.html
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
I found myself today
I found my strength, imagine that
on the breath of a shy whiskered cat
imagine how great to drift out of yourself
Float off through the night to see your desires
The beautiful feeling of being unrestrained by your skin
To look upon the face you can not replace
and see them smiling and happy
I love to dissolve in the street lights hue
and dance on the rain spinning around you
You know I'm there but you can't find me
No matter how hard you stare, but you can feel me
If we could meet on an astral plane,
we could fly together and make love in the rain

© Crystal Erickson 9/21/08
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Fun is fun when it runs along in its merry way
but when the sky turns liquid gray
all the fun goes away
cause through my eyes
my dull gray eyes
I see right through your foolish lies
I know that you do not know
and I do not let it show
be that as it may
with my eyes of gray
powers of plenty
I look within my realms
of mind and heart
you can't look into them
you can't look away
from my enchanting eyes of gray
driving driving driven on
to other lands and a further dawn
the deserts sandy storm has blown
and all the dust be dusted clean
and filtered through the cracks unseen

© Crystal Erickson 2007
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
A desolate town
Broken windows
Dusty roads
Rusted gates
Dead front lawns
Under a porch half rotted away
You'll find...
A cat nursing her kittens
New life, new beginnings
A star shines bright
In the dark night sky

© Crystal Erickson
written when I was in high school years ago.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Share with me my pain, my pity
Share with me my loss, my loss
Don't pretend, don't play games
I can see what you hold in
I say nothing to this knowledge
That you hide on the outside
I know what you really think
The secrets you wont share
On the exterior your mask you wear
I will keep your secrets safe
Never let you know, I know
I'll never let you feel ashamed
Thinking what I'll think of you
I will share your pain, your pity
I do feel your loss, your loss
I pretend I can not see within you
I let you wear your mask
I love you either way!

©Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Sailing through sheer jagged thoughts
and cool running dreams
The merciless curse of emotion
overflowing the exhilarating streams

Witnessing the chaotic times
of the dark and ancient old
when the mystifying warriors heart
was branded honorable and bold

ever drifting ever more
in this sea without a shore
through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore

Floating ever aimlessly
through translucent waters
seeing the weak of mind from this plane
exiling their sons and daughters

While beasts of burden trudge from within
the midsts of juxtaposing viking ships
ships of war and plague and death
that obliviously vanish within a breath

ever drifting evermore
in this sea without a shore
through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore

Sailing after those laden beasts
that which so arrogantly stray
you see those morbid souls of life
so ominisqueskly carried away

To the ***** delight and warmth
of the strong and merciful earth
Away from this unknown land
Of legends miraculous birth

ever drifting evermore
in this sea without a shore
Through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore


© Crystal Erickson 1999
I have been told this should be a song, however it was written as a poem!
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
I am not what I used to be
So now in the shadow of unspoken events
Everything whimsical is leaving
Words fill my head, they fragment like artillery shells
they tare through it forcing irreparable damage.
Time has accelerated
Born out of the absence of light
Shaped by my own hands
Justly worthy to be referenced and adored
I re-encounter what my elation briefly with held
The thirst for the dangerous
Obliterate the incomprehensible crowding thoughts
The stampede within my head
The mayhem of the many visions
Lock them down, all that fracture within my head
Inexplicable wanderings of mindful musings
Spontaneous perceptions
Shadow of foe
Encircling their fears with distractions
Pulsing in endless repetitions
I am the one whose throat is stripped bare.
I am the one who has not spoken in years
A distant moon to sense

© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Alone I sigh, alone I cry
Alone my lonely feelings fly
And so I chose to be lonely no longer
When the winter wind blows chill my veins
I will no longer feel the pain
Shadows come and steal away
The breath I breathe in the light of day
I step through my window clear
The eyes that haven't shed a tear
Into my world I retreat
To the safety I create
The gentle breeze blows butterflies
Carrying the swallows song neatly to my ears
The fawn walks slowly at my side
Through the pink dreamscape of the cherry trees
The blossoms smile at me now and
bend their kiss to brush my cheek
The sun so warm and beautiful
Embraces me so tenderly
I find a place where I may rest
and ease my troubled heart
The velvet clover springs about
and cherry blossom confetti showers me
sparkles twinkles all around
If only I could stay right here
not face the world without
but I must open my eyes once more
and force them through this drought
I am strong, or am I weak?
The answer lies in me
As for you...
I'll just simply have to wait and see


© Crystal Erickson   4/25/08
Whenever I am sad or lonely or upset I delve into a fantasy world I create. A beautiful wondrous place of magic and emotion.  I try to record my images in writing since I can never take anyone there. If I had a shred of artistic talent I would paint my dreamscapes for all to enjoy.  I can not paint however so I try to write them down.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Dragon flight, and dragon fire
Dragon fight, and dragon desire
Soaring on their wings of flame
They are impossible to tame
Dragons fly in the skies
Shrieking their horrible ear piercing cries
Dragons winging in the air
Make us wish we could be there
Gliding gracefully up above
They live and die, despair and love
Flaming breath upon the tongue
Is passed along down to their young
The souls in which their flames enfold
When breathed upon become dragon gold
Sires of the mating age
Rise up in an awful rage.
Battling the other great males
Searing hot their necks and tails.
They are grateful for every breath
For dragon males fight to the death!

© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
The wolves did not just stalk quietly through cadmium woods.
Their teeth grew madder and rose from each others throats.
The tigers did not just sleep on mossy slopes,
they colored the afternoon fushia and indigo from caladon heights,
The dragon with its terrible emerald tail and ruby glare,
did not merely threaten to incinerate everything around it.
Spiders prepare a grave.
This thing in a binding tomb.
A multitude of flames, a million orange and blue....
Tears cremating the past.
A burning snow falling everywhere.
When the darkest angel of all, sits at last upon my chest,
permanently enfolding me in its radiant wings....
A creature without a voice,
A voice without a name.
As immortal as mi life,
come here at long last to summon the wind.


© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Changing faces for nameless places
Nameless people struggling for existence in a nameless time
Worship the incoherent ramblings
Of countless babbling nameless fools
Bread and water lead the lambs to slaughter
Prejudice injustice demanding obedience
Nameless zombies

Becoming the robotic puppet
Of the puppeteers desires
With pre-programmed responses
Feelings not your own

Desensitized children
Of a race of morbid loving junkies
We render them fearless, then cry
At the mass of chaos they invoke upon us

Lost leading the lost
Devouring the beauty in their paths
The scourge of the free man
Who lives under the delusion of his freedom

Prisoners all
While the power sits upon a high throne laughing
Unbelieving how simply they all fell
And obediently they continue to provide
The avenues of deception for his rich existence


© Crystal Erickson   11/24/2007
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
After decades and decades of distance
I've found you
The sluggish, torturous moments of the laps
have finally passed.
Time has bruised me, pounded me, bled me
to the core.
Hours spent as a pack of wolves,
howling for a soul.
I've hunted, starving in my travels.
Searching for you.
Me, a pack of hunting dogs not just stalking
quietly through still woods....
but bolting with snarling furled lips....
exposing razor sharp fangs to sink deep within
the throat of the love I long for.
Hold tight until the struggling gazelle gasps its last.
The hunt is over,
the heart full from the gorging.
Purring in each others company.
While resting tranquilly on the aromatic clover.
Riffles unable to focus, our stripes blending,
as our bodies merge.
The great cats we are, no predator to fear.
We slumber and bask in our regal glory.
Our cat eyes fixed on each other!

© Crystal Erickson  12/14/07
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Amongst the multitude of solitudnal whims
I carry within,
Down to you, forgotten.
A youth that's fighting,
refusing to succumb to the delicacies
of an aging core.
The dream of love renewed,
The ambiance of it.
The life of a thousand nights of falling star
wishes and programmed dreams.
A chance within our grasps.
Mirrors.

Desolately has my soul resided in this
phantasmal reality of dull referendum,
misunderstood.
Neglected, rejected, tortured, hurt,
and broken.
I remain hidden.
A cool calm collected exterior.
The world sees me,
or so it thinks.

Hilarious hideousness.
My deceptions so simple.
Smoke and mirrors, magician I am.
Humor the powerful blinding agent
of stares, opinions, and gossip.
I laugh internally as the world judges me.
Forms its superficial egotistical
repressed opinions of me.

Do you..... see me true?
Can you.....will you ever chose to?
Demonic presence ever near, trying to **** me.
Have I fear?.........No, I have no fear!

© Crystal Erickson  11/24/07
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Will you remember me when days grow cold?
When dark clouds close in and the ground dies under foot,
When all the world falls into slumber and oneness,
Will I fade from your consciousness?
When I am gone will it hurt?
Will I cry when you no longer think of me, and I die?
To exist only as a thought in your head.....
Life dependent on your thinking.
Even a memory... at least then,
I would be recalled from time to time, resurrected.
I can't even be  a memory because I never was...
never really existed.
Just something you one day thought up.
I can only survive as long as you are thinking me,
and continue entertaining the thought of me.
You have no way to give birth to me.
No way to make me exist in the material world.
No way to make me solid.
I am no more then an electrical impulse
passed between the synapses in your brain.
When they stop firing me to and fro I will cease to exist.
What will become of me when you fizzle me out?
Will you simply reabsorb me into your cells?
Will I be cast out as waste?
I turn to face my fate, yet you keep thinking me.
Torturing me in a way, recalling me, adding to me,
making me bigger, longer, more intricate.
What price I'd pay for you to create me in reality.
Impossible, I know...
To be able to see you from the outside in, instead of inside out!
To know the you, you present to the world.
The strong, creative, mysterious, smart,
confident, emotional you. The quiet you.
Instead I know the inner you, the screaming,
raging, crying, laughing, manipulative,
intelligent, humorous you.
Would I think of you the same.....,
could you manifest me into reality?
Would you me......?
You would know me after all, you thought me,
you created me, you own me.
Breathe life into my veins.
You are me!
Can I become a memory... of a thought... you once created?

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Shavings of a canvas sky,
Slowly float and twirl by,
I lay back resting now,
my body heavy with its dread.
The torturous thoughts within my head.
For turns past I can not go back.
The lake of feelings brewing
turmoil and hurricane winds
That are gathering strength.
They will come and rage,
destroying this emotional cage,
in their fury, my emotions rip from me.
Shadows creep and slither in the wake of their destruction.
Mangled trees and dying wrath lay strewn about.
There is no path.
I stagger to the edge of my emotional cliff
And cast myself away.
Over the edge to the plummeting depths
from where I cant return.
The skies will clear and smile again.
The sun will kiss the dew.
I will wander the darkest deep
Lost and alone I'll wither and weep.
The blackness slowly starts to blue,
followed by a redish hue.
Then comes orange and yellow too.
Can I see a rainbow.....
Birds I hear them, waken I must
Dreaming of you,
I become dust!

© Crystal Erickson 4/24/08
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Step on me, go ahead.  Don't see my blood?
Truth be told it is red.  Don't hesitate.
I've been laying here for effervescent scores of time,
drifting in and out of knowing.
My heart sewn by threads of chance.
So scared of pain and the hurts I've lived.
reluctantly the love I give, is taken greedily.
And selfish truths come into light.
Cry I have like never before,
my mistake to open the door.
Lessons learned I did not head,
now I lay here on the floor to suffer my fate and bleed.
Darkness enveloping hope.
Jumping through hoops with a noose around my throat.
Praying each leap lands me on my pedestal without a false step.
The fatal end I know, waits for the careless step I take.
You the thief, who stole the whole of me.
All of me.
Made me go where I swore I would not.
Made me live my dreams.
Made me step out into fantasy,
My reality,
Come true to me,
Unbelievably,
I, so foolishly!
No one will ever catch me, my heart will never be.
Never see a safe horizon.
Never be surrounded in true and trusted arms of strength.
I can not save you, I can not save anyone,
For I need saving myself.
Can you save me?
Will you try?
Will you support my misguided step,
before the noose pulls tight?
I am bleeding on the floor, and running out of strength.
Will you stop my blood from running, or will you merely drink?

© Crystal Erickson 3/09/08
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
The thunder rakes across my sky,
as my twins lay still and die.  
The rain pours down in blood red drops,
and all my world cries and stops.
The lonely wind howls low.
The rivers swell then rage and flow.
The unicorn runs a race of time,
to return to my sky a ray of sunshine.
The wolf paces close not leaving my side.
All my creatures hold together my life.
The day dawns black and gray.
The kittens lay still they do not play.
The butterflies that flutter by,
their colors fade as deeply they sigh.
All the world shutters and quakes.
The icy cold waters run black.
The flowers close and turn their backs.
No swan trumpets, nothing is heard.
Silence has swept over every bird.
The dragon hatchlings sense the need,
so the heal my heart they'll plant a seed.
A seed in which to their joy will grow,
a happiness I'll come to know.
They know I shall never forget my boys,
yet I must live on and find other joys.
The owl turns the clock of time.
The only ease to sorrow of my kind.
The animals all stay close and wait to see,
if I will again open the gate.
For now they all feel my pain.
Me standing in the blood red rain.


Written in the hospital, the night I lost my twin baby boys.  This is the 5th passage in the My World series, perhaps I will post more if people enjoy them.

©Crystal Erickson 6/15/00
Green Eyed Blues Apr 2016
Theres a circle cycle of sides to the self of me

Standing in the middle surveying my surroundings

Noting each application and the consequences that apply

Maybe I'm simply a hedonist
Weighting for worn out pleasure centers to take a flame

Or an optimistic pessimist
Citing my self for the blame  

My humanistic approach has lost appeal

Defying my superego
And hierarchy of needs reel

Stuck in Erickson stages
A psychodynamic underground war rages

There's a linear graph
Self sided to me

Maybe I'm projecting all my insecurities
And taking my abnormalities
Out on maladaptive poetry
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
The epiphanies of my failures
and the reaper of reputations
strip me to the bone
strip me to the bone, and leave me bare to dry
licked repeatedly by the incinerating
UV rays of humanity.
Care not for me.
Care not.
Hold me never.
Laugh, laugh and walk away.

Left to my own, my ingenuity.
I build myself, I create myself.
I unbrainwash myself!
Years of reconstruction.
I succeed to emerge a greatness.
An inner entity of amazement.
No one understands.

Failure?  I wonder..
Pain always lingering in the depths.
Inadequacies, *******.
I push past, deal with, and battle face to face.
To leave dismembered on the floor.
Step on it, stomp it deep.
plunge it down to surface again in light.

ME
hold me, love me if your able.
Never take for granted,
my soul, not of this life.
This place, these people, this society.
I am light.
Capable of so many inconceivable things.
I am light
I need only when I let myself need.
I need you, only if to see me.
The true me,
The me no one can possibly see.
I cry, I love, I feel, I am awakened!

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07
Paul Morgana Sep 2013
You've been mine for a thousand years,
Through a mountain of problems, and a river of tears.

Living with me isn't done with ease,
But I'll never stop thinking of ways to please,

You're corporal self, this is sheer delight,
Folly and frolic until late at night.

The emotional needs I can handle my sweet,
Versed in Maslow and Erickson I'm ready to greet,

And make you feel safe both night and day,
Feelings never faltering, hear my words say,

My love I'm committed to your every desire,
It's not just my *****, but my soul that's on fire.

Each time that I gander into your soft eyes,
God calls your name, I peer up at the skies.

The rainbow of colors seen after a rain,
Include the color of your eyes, they drive me insane!!

The warmth of the sun shining sultry on my face,
Similar to the nights snuggling on our five by seven space.

The gentle movement as the clouds roll by,
Is reminiscent of massage, that at night closed your eye.

Even the falling raindrops landing tender on the land,
Compares to tears of missing you, wiped away with my hand.

I'll give you my all, refusing to fall,
you can't deny what you feel,
My pretty child, you drive me wild,
your emotions I don't need to steal!!

Please visit poemsbypaul.com
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Everything changes within a breath.
We breathe life's force in and exhale its poison.
Thirty some years spent in sweet slumber,
The numb relief to the painful awakening.
What the hell am I here for,
If not for some purpose.
I breathe his life in and exhale his pain.
And true to this action, I know it is killing me.
Everything changes in one breathing moment.
The death that is longed for,
the hunger, the need,
Is simply released from
the breath that we breathe.
I'm being slain honest and cold.
Defenses are crumbled as fast as their thrown.
Walls that get scaled as fast as their built.
Is this what is needed,  the lessons of soul?
To slumber no longer and face loves true toll.
Selfishness battles selflessness,
And the wager is all.
Using and neglecting life ****** out,  we fall.
There is no grand ending, no marbled hall.
Where is he hiding in this masquerade ball?

© Crystal Erickson 1/19/08
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Sailing across a field on a machine of pure iron
He carries your weight as though,
you were merely a fly on his shoulder.
Pulsing in your veins echos the thunder, of each
consecutive hoof as it strikes the Earth in turn.
The wind taring at your skin.
Your eyes water painfully with its vengeance.
The land fly's by in fades of greens and blues
Time stands still and the world tips on end.

©  Crystal Erickson
This is the only way I can describe what I feel like when I am running my horses.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
The child screams as the beast draws near,
unable to run frozen in fear.
Pinning the boy to the ground with one claw,
then ripping him open he begins to maw.
A girl so fragile yet so brave,
draws the beasts attention with one small wave.
The beast lashes out with fiery breath
The girl cries out with the pain of death
People flee without success,
from the dragons murderous breath.
Soon there is nothing left to ****,
the village lays quiet desolate and still.
The beast waists nothing of his prey
He feeds until the end of day.
The rest he takes back to his weyr,
To feed his hatchlings waiting there.

© Crystal Erickson 1999
I wrote this years ago as a teen. I wanted to take the other side of the happy ending most stories have and try to show the reality of what it would be like if dragons were real back in mid evil times.  We wouldn't stand a chance.  I tried to separate myself from the story and focus more on the raw natures of predator and prey.  We don't see ourselves as prey much because we are top of the food chain, take just one predator animal in existence and give them intelligence and we would not stand a chance.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Dragons blood burning hot,
from the place where he'd been shot.
It drips from his enormous wings,
spoiling the color of the clear blue springs.
The mighty beast screams with rage,
with a whip of his tail he destroys the cage.
Then spreading his powerful wings red with blood,
he bounds through the air and lands in the mud.
With three more bounds and one big leap,
he's gone from sight without a peep.
He's gone back to his hatchlings and hen,
to see the likes of mankind, never again.
He will soon heal and be well,
and again rule the beasts of heaven and hell.
But most importantly,
He will be free!


© Crystal Erickson 1999
Another throw back from when I was a kid.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
As the wizard traps his fairy in his enchanting
crystal ball
The wolf draws back to serenity neith the
luminous waterfall
The magic unicorn cuddles with the forbidden
persian cat
And the majestic lion gambles with the savage
loyal rat
I listen to the harps peaceful melody of the sky
Played on her pastel rainbow as she swiftly
flys on by
The mighty tigers watchful eyes
Glare at the lightnings slow demise
The dolphins play with the bubbles of the sea
This mystical place of harmony, found inside of me!


© Crystal Erickson
This poem is published in a book with the international society of poets ;) I can not remember the edition off the top of my head.
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Misty dreams flow shimmering through empty catacombs.
Floating effortlessly, the galaxy I see blows straight through me.
Above and all around, you gotta go up in order to get down.
Twisting visions morph into view.
I cast them aside with the wave of my hand.
Shadows cast upon the wall,
you never know they're there at all.
Spiteful demons invoking chant,
laughing hysterically as you fall.

I can simply pass through the wall.
Dissolving dimensions of your matter, within me.
I can consume your eternity,
Know that I know you like no one else knows you.
Hide your eyes, it's no surprise.
The tangible world filled with your lies.
I pay no head to the convulsive cries.
There is no need, for all things die.

© Crystal Erickson 5/19/08
This is a poem written from the view of a vampire hunting and taking its prey
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Those who seek us they may find
a secret passage to the phases of time.
Flitter here, Flitter fare
See us only in moon lights stare.
We who nurture the soul of nature.
We enlighten your ageless future.
Love we can grant with our fairy dust
If your hearts desires, to us you entrust.
Walk softly upon our mossy floor,
Carefully seek us ever more.
For we await the true of heart.
To grant them the courage to do their part.
Deep within our forest fair.
Come and seek us, those who dare.

© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Dew drops gleam upon the wing
and flowers bloom as voices sing
In the crevice of willow root
Beneath the moss that's underfoot
Peal back the bark of an ancient tree
and a wondrous world of fairies you'll see
Magic sun rays light the path
Glistening waters flow in a cleansing bath
To refresh the souls of all who pass
Magic dust floats in the air
and fairies flutter everywhere
Tread not there upon that land
Unless with fairy hand in hand

© Crystal Erickson  2007
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Drazen days abrasing me
to launch myself into delinquency.
The selfish truths we plead
and cry no heed,
to those who beg for our attentions.
The masses play to the puppeteers whims.
They dance this way, they spin that way.
They fall and rise and stumble through the lies.
The whole while everyone laughing inside.....
Believing themselves to be superior.
What foolish games we live by here.
The present now has lost sight of it all,
their "souls" are lost,
and wandering farther from whats real.
I am alone here in this place.
The place they carelessly erase.
Where shall I go when all is gone?
No where to be, no more song.
I seem to be the only one with resistance....
I am trapped and can't find the distance....
To place between myself and their existence.


© Crystal Erickson  04/10/08
Ever been in a public place and look around and see people going about their daily lives.  Like if they are in some perfectly normal world where everything is the way it should be.  Like there's no hunger and starving and war and dis pare.  Like they are better then everyone else and deserve whatever wealth they have.  Society doesn't care what its doing to our planet or our species.  People just allow it to happen and go along with it and do what they think their "Betters" tell them to.  I can not get my head around the sheep mentality that our society has.  How the people of our nation flock and follow without question.  Is there nothing inside that tells them this is wrong!
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
He leaps upon his victim
Pulsing claws grip the velvet skin of her back
Embracing her in mighty paws
Taking her fragile life in his powerful jaws
His tongue slips out
between knife sharp teeth
clinging tightly to her
his claws unsheathed
her hands slip down his sleek hide
she knows that she has surely died
She looks into his eyes not seeing rage
only the want for freedom instead of the cage
Take me she whispers
your young shall grow strong
**** me quickly she pleads
please don't take long
her hands draw up through his fur
purr turns to roar as he swiftly kills her.


© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Black and shiny
Sleek and gray
Pure white
Gorgeous Bay
Flaring nostrils
Wild eyes
Thundering hooves
The spirit never dies
Free to roam wherever's chosen
Free of hatreds awful poison
A soul of freedom, a heart so pure and true
Beautiful beasts galloping silently in the dew.

©Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Sizzle, sizzle, frazzle, froom
I sweep you away with my broom
Out of this house you no longer welcome
Shed not a tear, you don't deserve to
You torturer,
you leave me emotionally maimed
and bleeding on the floor.
I close my eyes, I close my door.
To look upon you never more.
Rash decisions of the past poison you now.
I am merely a temporary escape,
Or the freedom you seek perhaps?
Now look on me no more
For I havent the strength to help you soar.
I'm left bleeding on the floor
Are you sorry?  Want me to stay?
I can not, for I've found my way.
Finally I am free to be me
Whatever that is
Will part of me remain, bleeding on the floor?
Time will tell,
I leave you with your thoughts to dwell.

©  Crystal Erickson 12/03/07
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Secrets black as darkest night
Eating at you constantly
Evil deeds and ill thoughts
Plague your being
Rip and mutilate abstract dreams
Ponder the questions of youth
Ask the questions of the wise
Yet answer none
Drift away in a black life boat
Upon a raging sea
Swallowed by the gloomy fog
Carried away to your destiny


© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
In the glass of my memory sail my chaotic emotions
The ice all between them glistening, the moonbeams of my imagination
Reflect from the faceted rubies embedded within.
I again re-encounter the ecstasy of desire when I touch you.
Such encounters murdering all remnants of dreams
For finally I am ****** wholly into the fantastic reality of you
The joyful, mind numbing, gut heaving, love I feel
My ragged fingers set against an unreachable door
I am powerless to close against you
ever present beyond your love, flooding my veins and filling my soul
My life finally taking wing
Laughter, and fear, all emotions a collective illusion within me
You exceed the threshold of my existence
surrounding and sustaining me eternally
We belong forever solely to one another
Our dawn spent scavenging for each other like rats,
To be born in the afternoon, bald eagles
soaring the days away like gods
Now our lives entwined, no longer passing parallel to each other.

© Crystal Erickson  12/14/07
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Gifted are the dead,
we shot them in the head.
We ran them down insane,
they cried out in vein.
Guilt we mustn't feel.
For life is so unreal.
And broken hearts don't heal.
I know how they feel.

Does it matter, do we care?
Does it help if their not there?
Endless visions, endless thoughts.
Night and day don't get caught.
You will be shunned, you will be blamed,
if you break the heart that you've now tamed.

What is real, what is right,
Who you sleep with every night.
Or the one you dream of, is it fair,
To love the one who cant be there?
Questions always on the mind.
Which way to go, which choice, which time.
Never ending how you go,
For the other path you'll never know.

© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
I see the look within his eyes
I feel the need when he cries
The demon of mortality holds fast
His mind and heart dwell in the past
His love I long for shall never be
His will grows weary, his soul empty
The shattered life, the pain hes bled
This twisted horrible life he's led
Can my love and patience withstand
All that his healing will demand
And then will it all be worth it in the end
Or will I merely become a remembered friend!

© Crystal Erickson
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
Words can not undo what has been done
Desire can not unset the sun.
Time never stops, never pauses, never slows.
What happens next we don't get to know.
The world spins on, oblivious to chance.
We can sit it out or chose to dance.
Lingering in bittersweet memories past.
We long for a truth that will forever last.
We find ourselves crying alone in the night.
Chained by mistakes we long to take flight.
Trapped from within and tortured forever.
Until we let go and look back never!
So goodbye my dearest, my lover, my friend,
Goodbye seems so permanent, Is this the end?

© Crystal Erickson 2008
Crystal Erickson Dec 2014
From the darkened depths of the shadows she rises,
swift as the wind flame bright.
Proud as a hawk embracing the moonlight,
glittering on her graceful form.
A creature of great mystery and majesty.
Beautiful, noble, valiant, and deadly.
Her silver voice can lure men to their doom.
Her brightly shining claws rend flesh and bone.
The same sculpted teeth that grace her smile,
Have charmed beasts into becoming her meal.
Even her eyes so full of lovely wisdom,
are a mesmerizing and enchanting trap.
Beware the perilous beauty of the dragon,
and even as you do ....surrender to it.

© Crystal Erickson

— The End —