"erickson" poems
Twisted morbid thoughts
Venomous dreams
Poisonous looks
Life ******* streams
Love dies
Memories fade
Hearts grow cold
Feelings go numb
Lonely empty open space
All the time in the world to waste
Alone in life is alone in death
Never alone when on crystal ****
© 1997 Crystal Erickson
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
I found myself today
I found my strength, imagine that
on the breath of a shy whiskered cat
imagine how great to drift out of yourself
Float off through the night to see your desires
The beautiful feeling of being unrestrained by your skin
To look upon the face you can not replace
and see them smiling and happy
I love to dissolve in the street lights hue
and dance on the rain spinning around you
You know I'm there but you can't find me
No matter how hard you stare, but you can feel me
If we could meet on an astral plane,
we could fly together and make love in the rain
© Crystal Erickson 9/21/08
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC
Fun is fun when it runs along in its merry way
but when the sky turns liquid gray
all the fun goes away
cause through my eyes
my dull gray eyes
I see right through your foolish lies
I know that you do not know
and I do not let it show
be that as it may
with my eyes of gray
powers of plenty
I look within my realms
of mind and heart
you can't look into them
you can't look away
from my enchanting eyes of gray
driving driving driven on
to other lands and a further dawn
the deserts sandy storm has blown
and all the dust be dusted clean
and filtered through the cracks unseen
© Crystal Erickson 2007
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM UTC
A desolate town
Broken windows
Dusty roads
Rusted gates
Dead front lawns
Under a porch half rotted away
You'll find...
A cat nursing her kittens
New life, new beginnings
A star shines bright
In the dark night sky
© Crystal Erickson
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 9:10 PM UTC
Share with me my pain, my pity
Share with me my loss, my loss
Don't pretend, don't play games
I can see what you hold in
I say nothing to this knowledge
That you hide on the outside
I know what you really think
The secrets you wont share
On the exterior your mask you wear
I will keep your secrets safe
Never let you know, I know
I'll never let you feel ashamed
Thinking what I'll think of you
I will share your pain, your pity
I do feel your loss, your loss
I pretend I can not see within you
I let you wear your mask
I love you either way!
©Crystal Erickson
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 11:32 PM UTC
Sailing through sheer jagged thoughts
and cool running dreams
The merciless curse of emotion
overflowing the exhilarating streams
Witnessing the chaotic times
of the dark and ancient old
when the mystifying warriors heart
was branded honorable and bold
ever drifting ever more
in this sea without a shore
through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore
Floating ever aimlessly
through translucent waters
seeing the weak of mind from this plane
exiling their sons and daughters
While beasts of burden trudge from within
the midsts of juxtaposing viking ships
ships of war and plague and death
that obliviously vanish within a breath
ever drifting evermore
in this sea without a shore
through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore
Sailing after those laden beasts
that which so arrogantly stray
you see those morbid souls of life
so ominisqueskly carried away
To the ***** delight and warmth
of the strong and merciful earth
Away from this unknown land
Of legends miraculous birth
ever drifting evermore
in this sea without a shore
Through this land of legends and lore
ever drifting evermore
© Crystal Erickson 1999
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 6:24 PM UTC
I am not what I used to be
So now in the shadow of unspoken events
Everything whimsical is leaving
Words fill my head, they fragment like artillery shells
they tare through it forcing irreparable damage.
Time has accelerated
Born out of the absence of light
Shaped by my own hands
Justly worthy to be referenced and adored
I re-encounter what my elation briefly with held
The thirst for the dangerous
Obliterate the incomprehensible crowding thoughts
The stampede within my head
The mayhem of the many visions
Lock them down, all that fracture within my head
Inexplicable wanderings of mindful musings
Spontaneous perceptions
Shadow of foe
Encircling their fears with distractions
Pulsing in endless repetitions
I am the one whose throat is stripped bare.
I am the one who has not spoken in years
A distant moon to sense
© Crystal Erickson
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 11:35 AM UTC
Alone I sigh, alone I cry
Alone my lonely feelings fly
And so I chose to be lonely no longer
When the winter wind blows chill my veins
I will no longer feel the pain
Shadows come and steal away
The breath I breathe in the light of day
I step through my window clear
The eyes that haven't shed a tear
Into my world I retreat
To the safety I create
The gentle breeze blows butterflies
Carrying the swallows song neatly to my ears
The fawn walks slowly at my side
Through the pink dreamscape of the cherry trees
The blossoms smile at me now and
bend their kiss to brush my cheek
The sun so warm and beautiful
Embraces me so tenderly
I find a place where I may rest
and ease my troubled heart
The velvet clover springs about
and cherry blossom confetti showers me
sparkles twinkles all around
If only I could stay right here
not face the world without
but I must open my eyes once more
and force them through this drought
I am strong, or am I weak?
The answer lies in me
As for you...
I'll just simply have to wait and see
© Crystal Erickson 4/25/08
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 11:14 AM UTC
I've always been in place,
in situ
Maybe (just maybe) ...
I'm sui generis?
When my lifeline intersected with spacetime on this continuum
I found myself moving toward a collision course with duality and non-duality
Moving towards a zero-point
What are we talking about?
Nothing (Rafelski & Muller, 1985)
As a geographer, the mimetic expression was dualistic
As one plane flowed through another;
as fiat lux flowed through Medicine Rock
I found wisdom
I further explored the duality @ this place
(also known as University of Lethbridge)
The U of L is an interesting duck
It walks like an Albertan university
It talks like an Albertan university
But one of these things is certainly not like the other
The U of L got its chops as a house of learning for the Liberal Arts
Follow those roots and you'll see conduits to another spacetime known as UCBerkley
U of L memetics share material memories from the birth of the Free Speech Movement (1964)
And as Arthur Erickson drafted up his plans for Canada's centennial gift to the Province of Alberta, I'm sure he would have been partaking in the pleasures of this particular spacetime
I'm sure at the very least that he was listening to Hendrix wax on about Castles
As Erickson designed this modernistic monolith called University Hall
There were influences such as Arthur C. Clarke and his novel 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
He was certainly knowledgeable of the Blackfoot stories of the Old Man
And of course as an architect he would be versed in gravity and how built structures on a slope tend to creep toward base-level
Strange but true, Erickson's first degree was in foreign languages
So what I see is Canada's premier architect wrote a poem for us in 1968
In a foreign language
And that poem would be expressed over the next forty to fifty years
Some of those primary poetic elements were:
Berkley, California
Hippie Movement
Creep (or gravity)
Base level
Blackfoot creation stories of the Old Man
Jimi Hendrix poetry and his savage musical genius
"and so castle's made of sand melt into the sea, eventually."
So let's reinterpret that line to be more U of L centric
(through my glossy apertures)
"and so monolith's made by man melt back into god eventually."
........ ....... ...... ..... ..... .... ... .. . zero~point . .. ... .... ..... ...... ....... ........
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 10:33 AM UTC
Dragon flight, and dragon fire
Dragon fight, and dragon desire
Soaring on their wings of flame
They are impossible to tame
Dragons fly in the skies
Shrieking their horrible ear piercing cries
Dragons winging in the air
Make us wish we could be there
Gliding gracefully up above
They live and die, despair and love
Flaming breath upon the tongue
Is passed along down to their young
The souls in which their flames enfold
When breathed upon become dragon gold
Sires of the mating age
Rise up in an awful rage.
Battling the other great males
Searing hot their necks and tails.
They are grateful for every breath
For dragon males fight to the death!
© Crystal Erickson
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 10:13 PM UTC
The wolves did not just stalk quietly through cadmium woods.
Their teeth grew madder and rose from each others throats.
The tigers did not just sleep on mossy slopes,
they colored the afternoon fushia and indigo from caladon heights,
The dragon with its terrible emerald tail and ruby glare,
did not merely threaten to incinerate everything around it.
Spiders prepare a grave.
This thing in a binding tomb.
A multitude of flames, a million orange and blue....
Tears cremating the past.
A burning snow falling everywhere.
When the darkest angel of all, sits at last upon my chest,
permanently enfolding me in its radiant wings....
A creature without a voice,
A voice without a name.
As immortal as mi life,
come here at long last to summon the wind.
© Crystal Erickson
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 11:01 AM UTC
Changing faces for nameless places
Nameless people struggling for existence in a nameless time
Worship the incoherent ramblings
Of countless babbling nameless fools
Bread and water lead the lambs to slaughter
Prejudice injustice demanding obedience
Nameless zombies
Becoming the robotic puppet
Of the puppeteers desires
With pre-programmed responses
Feelings not your own
Desensitized children
Of a race of morbid loving junkies
We render them fearless, then cry
At the mass of chaos they invoke upon us
Lost leading the lost
Devouring the beauty in their paths
The scourge of the free man
Who lives under the delusion of his freedom
Prisoners all
While the power sits upon a high throne laughing
Unbelieving how simply they all fell
And obediently they continue to provide
The avenues of deception for his rich existence
© Crystal Erickson 11/24/2007
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
After decades and decades of distance
I've found you
The sluggish, torturous moments of the laps
have finally passed.
Time has bruised me, pounded me, bled me
to the core.
Hours spent as a pack of wolves,
howling for a soul.
I've hunted, starving in my travels.
Searching for you.
Me, a pack of hunting dogs not just stalking
quietly through still woods....
but bolting with snarling furled lips....
exposing razor sharp fangs to sink deep within
the throat of the love I long for.
Hold tight until the struggling gazelle gasps its last.
The hunt is over,
the heart full from the gorging.
Purring in each others company.
While resting tranquilly on the aromatic clover.
Riffles unable to focus, our stripes blending,
as our bodies merge.
The great cats we are, no predator to fear.
We slumber and bask in our regal glory.
Our cat eyes fixed on each other!
© Crystal Erickson 12/14/07
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 3:49 PM UTC
Step on me, go ahead. Don't see my blood?
Truth be told it is red. Don't hesitate.
I've been laying here for effervescent scores of time,
drifting in and out of knowing.
My heart sewn by threads of chance.
So scared of pain and the hurts I've lived.
reluctantly the love I give, is taken greedily.
And selfish truths come into light.
Cry I have like never before,
my mistake to open the door.
Lessons learned I did not head,
now I lay here on the floor to suffer my fate and bleed.
Darkness enveloping hope.
Jumping through hoops with a noose around my throat.
Praying each leap lands me on my pedestal without a false step.
The fatal end I know, waits for the careless step I take.
You the thief, who stole the whole of me.
All of me.
Made me go where I swore I would not.
Made me live my dreams.
Made me step out into fantasy,
My reality,
Come true to me,
Unbelievably,
I, so foolishly!
No one will ever catch me, my heart will never be.
Never see a safe horizon.
Never be surrounded in true and trusted arms of strength.
I can not save you, I can not save anyone,
For I need saving myself.
Can you save me?
Will you try?
Will you support my misguided step,
before the noose pulls tight?
I am bleeding on the floor, and running out of strength.
Will you stop my blood from running, or will you merely drink?
© Crystal Erickson 3/09/08
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 11:22 PM UTC
Amongst the multitude of solitudnal whims
I carry within,
Down to you, forgotten.
A youth that's fighting,
refusing to succumb to the delicacies
of an aging core.
The dream of love renewed,
The ambiance of it.
The life of a thousand nights of falling star
wishes and programmed dreams.
A chance within our grasps.
Mirrors.
Desolately has my soul resided in this
phantasmal reality of dull referendum,
misunderstood.
Neglected, rejected, tortured, hurt,
and broken.
I remain hidden.
A cool calm collected exterior.
The world sees me,
or so it thinks.
Hilarious hideousness.
My deceptions so simple.
Smoke and mirrors, magician I am.
Humor the powerful blinding agent
of stares, opinions, and gossip.
I laugh internally as the world judges me.
Forms its superficial egotistical
repressed opinions of me.
Do you..... see me true?
Can you.....will you ever chose to?
Demonic presence ever near, trying to **** me.
Have I fear?.........No, I have no fear!
© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 24, 2014 at 10:32 AM UTC
Will you remember me when days grow cold?
When dark clouds close in and the ground dies under foot,
When all the world falls into slumber and oneness,
Will I fade from your consciousness?
When I am gone will it hurt?
Will I cry when you no longer think of me, and I die?
To exist only as a thought in your head.....
Life dependent on your thinking.
Even a memory... at least then,
I would be recalled from time to time, resurrected.
I can't even be a memory because I never was...
never really existed.
Just something you one day thought up.
I can only survive as long as you are thinking me,
and continue entertaining the thought of me.
You have no way to give birth to me.
No way to make me exist in the material world.
No way to make me solid.
I am no more then an electrical impulse
passed between the synapses in your brain.
When they stop firing me to and fro I will cease to exist.
What will become of me when you fizzle me out?
Will you simply reabsorb me into your cells?
Will I be cast out as waste?
I turn to face my fate, yet you keep thinking me.
Torturing me in a way, recalling me, adding to me,
making me bigger, longer, more intricate.
What price I'd pay for you to create me in reality.
Impossible, I know...
To be able to see you from the outside in, instead of inside out!
To know the you, you present to the world.
The strong, creative, mysterious, smart,
confident, emotional you. The quiet you.
Instead I know the inner you, the screaming,
raging, crying, laughing, manipulative,
intelligent, humorous you.
Would I think of you the same.....,
could you manifest me into reality?
Would you me......?
You would know me after all, you thought me,
you created me, you own me.
Breathe life into my veins.
You are me!
Can I become a memory... of a thought... you once created?
© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
Shavings of a canvas sky,
Slowly float and twirl by,
I lay back resting now,
my body heavy with its dread.
The torturous thoughts within my head.
For turns past I can not go back.
The lake of feelings brewing
turmoil and hurricane winds
That are gathering strength.
They will come and rage,
destroying this emotional cage,
in their fury, my emotions rip from me.
Shadows creep and slither in the wake of their destruction.
Mangled trees and dying wrath lay strewn about.
There is no path.
I stagger to the edge of my emotional cliff
And cast myself away.
Over the edge to the plummeting depths
from where I cant return.
The skies will clear and smile again.
The sun will kiss the dew.
I will wander the darkest deep
Lost and alone I'll wither and weep.
The blackness slowly starts to blue,
followed by a redish hue.
Then comes orange and yellow too.
Can I see a rainbow.....
Birds I hear them, waken I must
Dreaming of you,
I become dust!
© Crystal Erickson 4/24/08
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 11:48 PM UTC
Theres a circle cycle of sides to the self of me
Standing in the middle surveying my surroundings
Noting each application and the consequences that apply
Maybe I'm simply a hedonist
Weighting for worn out pleasure centers to take a flame
Or an optimistic pessimist
Citing my self for the blame
My humanistic approach has lost appeal
Defying my superego
And hierarchy of needs reel
Stuck in Erickson stages
A psychodynamic underground war rages
There's a linear graph
Self sided to me
Maybe I'm projecting all my insecurities
And taking my abnormalities
Out on maladaptive poetry
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 10:46 PM UTC
The thunder rakes across my sky,
as my twins lay still and die.
The rain pours down in blood red drops,
and all my world cries and stops.
The lonely wind howls low.
The rivers swell then rage and flow.
The unicorn runs a race of time,
to return to my sky a ray of sunshine.
The wolf paces close not leaving my side.
All my creatures hold together my life.
The day dawns black and gray.
The kittens lay still they do not play.
The butterflies that flutter by,
their colors fade as deeply they sigh.
All the world shutters and quakes.
The icy cold waters run black.
The flowers close and turn their backs.
No swan trumpets, nothing is heard.
Silence has swept over every bird.
The dragon hatchlings sense the need,
so the heal my heart they'll plant a seed.
A seed in which to their joy will grow,
a happiness I'll come to know.
They know I shall never forget my boys,
yet I must live on and find other joys.
The owl turns the clock of time.
The only ease to sorrow of my kind.
The animals all stay close and wait to see,
if I will again open the gate.
For now they all feel my pain.
Me standing in the blood red rain.
Written in the hospital, the night I lost my twin baby boys. This is the 5th passage in the My World series, perhaps I will post more if people enjoy them.
©Crystal Erickson 6/15/00
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 8:58 PM UTC
The epiphanies of my failures
and the reaper of reputations
strip me to the bone
strip me to the bone, and leave me bare to dry
licked repeatedly by the incinerating
UV rays of humanity.
Care not for me.
Care not.
Hold me never.
Laugh, laugh and walk away.
Left to my own, my ingenuity.
I build myself, I create myself.
I unbrainwash myself!
Years of reconstruction.
I succeed to emerge a greatness.
An inner entity of amazement.
No one understands.
Failure? I wonder..
Pain always lingering in the depths.
Inadequacies, ********
I push past, deal with, and battle face to face.
To leave dismembered on the floor.
Step on it, stomp it deep.
plunge it down to surface again in light.
ME
hold me, love me if your able.
Never take for granted,
my soul, not of this life.
This place, these people, this society.
I am light.
Capable of so many inconceivable things.
I am light
I need only when I let myself need.
I need you, only if to see me.
The true me,
The me no one can possibly see.
I cry, I love, I feel, I am awakened!
© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 9:27 PM UTC
You've been mine for a thousand years,
Through a mountain of problems, and a river of tears.
Living with me isn't done with ease,
But I'll never stop thinking of ways to please,
You're corporal self, this is sheer delight,
Folly and frolic until late at night.
The emotional needs I can handle my sweet,
Versed in Maslow and Erickson I'm ready to greet,
And make you feel safe both night and day,
Feelings never faltering, hear my words say,
My love I'm committed to your every desire,
It's not just my ***** but my soul that's on fire.
Each time that I gander into your soft eyes,
God calls your name, I peer up at the skies.
The rainbow of colors seen after a rain,
Include the color of your eyes, they drive me insane!!
The warmth of the sun shining sultry on my face,
Similar to the nights snuggling on our five by seven space.
The gentle movement as the clouds roll by,
Is reminiscent of massage, that at night closed your eye.
Even the falling raindrops landing tender on the land,
Compares to tears of missing you, wiped away with my hand.
I'll give you my all, refusing to fall,
you can't deny what you feel,
My pretty child, you drive me wild,
your emotions I don't need to steal!!
Please visit poemsbypaul.com
Sep 20, 2013
Sep 20, 2013 at 12:21 PM UTC
Sailing across a field on a machine of pure iron
He carries your weight as though,
you were merely a fly on his shoulder.
Pulsing in your veins echos the thunder, of each
consecutive hoof as it strikes the Earth in turn.
The wind taring at your skin.
Your eyes water painfully with its vengeance.
The land fly's by in fades of greens and blues
Time stands still and the world tips on end.
© Crystal Erickson
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
Everything changes within a breath.
We breathe life's force in and exhale its poison.
Thirty some years spent in sweet slumber,
The numb relief to the painful awakening.
What the hell am I here for,
If not for some purpose.
I breathe his life in and exhale his pain.
And true to this action, I know it is killing me.
Everything changes in one breathing moment.
The death that is longed for,
the hunger, the need,
Is simply released from
the breath that we breathe.
I'm being slain honest and cold.
Defenses are crumbled as fast as their thrown.
Walls that get scaled as fast as their built.
Is this what is needed, the lessons of soul?
To slumber no longer and face loves true toll.
Selfishness battles selflessness,
And the wager is all.
Using and neglecting life ****** out, we fall.
There is no grand ending, no marbled hall.
Where is he hiding in this masquerade ball?
© Crystal Erickson 1/19/08
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 9:08 PM UTC
The child screams as the beast draws near,
unable to run frozen in fear.
Pinning the boy to the ground with one claw,
then ripping him open he begins to maw.
A girl so fragile yet so brave,
draws the beasts attention with one small wave.
The beast lashes out with fiery breath
The girl cries out with the pain of death
People flee without success,
from the dragons murderous breath.
Soon there is nothing left to ****
the village lays quiet desolate and still.
The beast waists nothing of his prey
He feeds until the end of day.
The rest he takes back to his weyr,
To feed his hatchlings waiting there.
© Crystal Erickson 1999
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 12:27 PM UTC
Misty dreams flow shimmering through empty catacombs.
Floating effortlessly, the galaxy I see blows straight through me.
Above and all around, you gotta go up in order to get down.
Twisting visions morph into view.
I cast them aside with the wave of my hand.
Shadows cast upon the wall,
you never know they're there at all.
Spiteful demons invoking chant,
laughing hysterically as you fall.
I can simply pass through the wall.
Dissolving dimensions of your matter, within me.
I can consume your eternity,
Know that I know you like no one else knows you.
Hide your eyes, it's no surprise.
The tangible world filled with your lies.
I pay no head to the convulsive cries.
There is no need, for all things die.
© Crystal Erickson 5/19/08
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 27, 2014 at 11:11 AM UTC