Whose fault was it, in the first place?
What actually happened, dear?

We never talked about it, did we?
We never argued about it.

But all I know is that..
Now,
I am alone
And needing you by my side.

When
your inner optimist becomes someone else,
someone pessimist,

-that has decided to see the good things,
the least.

When you're being paranoid,
and starts talking trash,

Everyone becomes sick of your *******.

Man, tell me..
do you really want all that attention?

Because it really shows that you're in a big
confusion..

If you were something
to be intoxicated by,
I would choose you
over the expensive perfumes.

For not even the sweetest flower
can bring me joy
Like you do .

Let me tell you a story
About a girl and a boy,

He's got a cupid's arrow,
But he plays it like a toy.

The person she trusted was her friend
was setting up another tent.
She could act like she doesn't care,
She could act like she would dare
To look.
But to see him smiling at her best friend,
In a way that a lover would?

It really cuts her through
her root.

That a hero is never a hero,

before

he faces a downfall,
and learns to pick himself up.

They said:
"Give it four months."

So I trusted them.

Two months had passed..
It's okay. I'd loved to tell myself.
Even though I knew that nothing had really changed

But I waited
          
I waited
and waited..

But you're still there in my mind.
I honestly don't know what went wrong.

It's been 4 years and I still have a crush on you
And people say I may 'fall for you'.

I'm not quite sure about that, though.
Because sometimes,
I'm mad at you;
Just because I can't seem to stop liking you

Even though I really want to.

We were only twelve when I knew what a 'crush' is-
The definition has a 'U' in it.

Funny enough, you used to make puns like that.

Gosh.. I miss the old you. . .

We're both sixteen now;
I witness you moved in to our school at eleven;
You grew out of your..-
Your country-ish behaviour;

I fell for the funny you at twelve;
I saw the flirty glances at fourteen;
And at fifteen,
You're a flirtee to my friend, too.

But I still like you.

I don't know what is wrong with me
..or you.
Yes, you dysfunction me, without even trying.

I want to hate you for that.

But,

People say,
If someone was to stay there,
It means God have destined them together.
Some time,
Somewhere,
Somehow,
For some reason..

Only God knows.

Is it the case with you and I?
Because I wish it was all a lie
When now, I open my eyes,
I realize
That I only have another one year
To see you.

They say:
"Get over it.
It's been four years!"

But they don't know
That this girl has actually,
Fallen
For an ex-new kid..

I used to cry on your shoulder.
I liked doing it, in fact.

But, the truth, you say?
You want the truth?

I still do.

I still imagine that it is your shoulder I'm crying on,
And not just some cold metal.

I still imagine that it's your face that's looking down at me,
And not just the moon.

When I am spilling my tears at the balcony - now,
I wish, really wish that you'd magically be beside me.

Am I that hopeless?
Did I let you crush me?
Man.....
I was brainless.

You brought the new 'my girl' at the party last night.

I wonder if you imagined me when you had her in your arms.

I saw those twinkles in your eyes when she laughed at your jokes.

Funny enough, huh?
I saw that kind of thing too, when I laughed at them.

Have you really forgotten me, dear?
Am I already, completely, invisible?

Or am I still there, somewhere in your heart;
Somewhere that's rotting..
Somewhere dumpster-like?

Am I getting my hopes up if I say,

"I want to kiss you goodbye.

*Again."

Yes, I convinced you.
I made you think you were the only I ever loved.

I'm sorry I lied to you..

But the devil was in love.

I know I told you you're worth all the time in the world
Before I told you,
that you're nothing but a filler.

I'm sorry I told you that..

Yes, I gave you presents,
With cards that said 'for us'

Now I know you're mad at me-
For giving lies, teasings, promises,
Those sweet kisses,
Just to later do away with us.

I'm sorry I broke you, dear..

But you were a fool,

*And the devil was in love.

Our late night conversations
that turned into good morning's..

The songs we shared when we were bored.
The concert you promised the details of..

All those don't go yets you used to give me..
Were they all synthetic?
Were they all fake?

Were they all just candy you cook,
So girls like me fall for you?

Do you even hear the songs you said you do?
Or do you just make them up too?

You told me to wake you up.
I did, and you never said a thing..

So that was it?
That was all it?
No nothing?
No goodbye?
At least show me my mistake,
At least tell me why?

I miss those messed up, sleepy laughter
Before we said goodnight .

All they see
Is,
The me who knows biology
And science stuff.

All they see
Is,
The me who knows nothing about art
Or humanity.

..the me who's in her teenage years.

I wish they want to see me as more than that, really.

The laughed at me when I told them my ambition,
My dream job:
"I want to be an author."

My dreams and hopes. . .

I just want to see a better world,
Where
Young boys and girls have their chances to speak their minds;
Where their opinions are being considered;
Or at least,
Respected.

Dear leaders,
teachers,
parents,
adults,
friends;

society..

Please, please, please,

Think,
Before you speak.
Because your words will echo.
And they will scar someone
in a way,
Or more *.

It feels so wrong to say this,
But I think I've liked you, since the first time we talked.

My friends would think I'm crazy if they knew that.
I don't know what to say..

You're cute,  but you're turning me brainless.
The worst part?

I kind of like it.

*And I'm afraid to tell you that too.

Shy textings
Nervous flirtings

Clock ticking
Palms sweating

It all seemed too slow
Until you're not a wreck
And told me the fact.

Questions popping
Hearts drumming

Yet,
You're a wreck all over again.

Because you forgot the question.

But I answered "yes."
"Yes, I do want to go out with you".

Because I like wrecks, just like you.

Those eyes, those eyes
I was a big fool
To be fooled by them.

Yes, I fell for them, boy.

"We'll get somewhere."
I used to read within them.
You claimed it was true.

And I believed it, I believed them

I believed you.

It was true; you were real, after all.
But that was an eternity ago's truth
It doesn't mean much now.

Not that I know better about the truth..
The truth that you've been concealing.
Yes, boy, you keep it concealed.

Those eyes, those eyes.
I swear they were the prettiest things, after sunset

They still are, I guess.

But not to me no more.

Your honey-coated hazel of eyes..
I hope they don't whisper another girl in
With their honey-coated honesty.

"I'll love you forever."
I bet they're saying that to another her now.

I used to care about what you think
I used to wonder what actually is haunting you,
When we are out in public.

Is it the future?
Is it your pass?
A nightmare?
Perhaps us?

If it is us, what is it exactly?

I used to care about
What you think of me
When I try those new clothes.
When I try a new look.

But then you're like,
"Doesn't matter. You're pretty."
But it all seems like a pike
When you struggle to say the last word.

Once, a little birdie sings at me.

Maybe that's just the brave little me.
"Who cares about what they think?"

So I stopped.

I stopped with all the worrying,
Because I want to breathe again.

when someone knows how bad you can become;
How much of a mess you can be,
or are;
How much trouble you can cause;
And what words you've been keeping.

..But still -
they want your presence in their days.

They appreciate you,
along with what you can
or cannot give them.

And they make you laugh,
when you don't
even dare to smile.

Eyes,
Are you gleaming,
Knowing you'll never see him again?

Lips,
Are you smiling,
Knowing I will find someone better?

Heart,
Are you dancing?
Beating again..
After all those times
you've been grounded?

Brain,
Are you with me?
Are you sure you want to hear his question?
Are you sure you're being reasonable this time?

Because I don't want to make the same mistake.
I know,
You did it for the lessons..

But he would never give,
And would only take.

And I'm now sick of anyone's game;
Because it has been too long
And it's getting ****** lame.

"Wait, how can an angel break my heart?"
Oh now I know the answer.