You're tempting me.

Releasing the demons in my mind
With their thoughts of you,
Craving, wanting to consume you,
Take you over, make you scream,
In pleasure, in ecstasy,
The thought of being in you.

Licking my lips, I want it.
I'm giving in.
I want to taste your flesh.
I want to have all of you.

You wont be able to handle it:
The devilish things I'd do to you.

But you're tempting me. I know,
You want it too.

So take it off.

You're mine to feast on tonight.

Savor moments that have happened,
Than moments that never will.

I love it when you use me.

Lighting the fire in my soul,
A slave at your bidding.

My clothes; a veil to hide
Your canvas:

The marks, the bruises,
The bite on my lip,
The saliva on my neck,
The rope burns on my wrists.

Signs of love that I wear proudly.

And while I retreat back
To the working life, with suit & tie,
As a professional working man,
Your voice chains me in place.

"I'm not done with you."*

With each layer falling to the floor,
In their rightful place,
Again,

I gladly offer every inch of my body to your personal satisfaction.

Like a coin with heads but no tails,
Chasing after possibilities, probabilities.
After signs.
After delusions, dreams, destinies.

There is no value in something that is incomplete.

There is no love in a one-sided relationship.

Bite of the lip and bedroom eyes,
Craving this long tongue of mine,
What do you desire, my Queen?

I'll make you squirm in ecstasy.

Your eyes are closed, the moans, the sighs,
You sense my lips, the kisses, the bites,
Clawing my skin, wanting more.

Guide me with your hand, where you want me to be.

Where will I kiss, where should I go next?
The lip, the neck or maybe the breast?
The possibilities are endless.

Imagine the best, I'll be even better.

I'll descend on you,
Lower, lower, lower,
I'll go a little slower.
Savor the time we have together.

I'm going to enjoy you.

The inner thigh, closer and closer,
Around and about, tongue brushing over,
Your strong scent taking me over.

In.

I'll let it go wild, you feel the heat,
Of my tongue going between the sheets,
Licking the creases, the walls, the treat.

I won't stop until you let go.

You can take a guess.
There's so many things I can do to you.
There's so many things you want me to do.

But there's no fun in that.
I can't read minds.
I am no psychic.

But I can listen,
I can take your order.
So let me serve you.

But you'll need to command me,
Compel me to continue.
So tell me what you want.

I'll be your main dish.
I'll make you full.

I'll be your dessert.
I'll make you come for more.

*I'll make you beg for it.

Distance is a powerful word.
A word that touches on everything.

Defined as 'The amount of space between two things.'

Space that was added and could be filled up.
Space that is unnecessary. Space that was not wanted.
For example:

The distance between our hands.
From far, a wave at first sight,
Never knowing that your touch,
Will mean so much to me in the future.

From close, together,
A gentle clasp, a perfect fit.
Never letting go: Reassurance.
Everlasting bliss.

The distance between our bodies.
From far, as strangers, before
We've had our moments together.
Your presence grows as the distance closes.

From close, as lovers,
Touching, intertwining,
The kissing of skin, the sharing of warmth,
Making love.

The distance between our eyes.
From far, as acquaintances,
Averting glances of interest,
Curious in every inner thought.

From close, every smile,
Every emotion, more meaningful than before.
Every minute detail shown in awe.
Every moment clad in romance.

The distance between us.
Physically, Emotionally,
Mentally, Metaphorically.

To me, 'Distance' is a powerful word.
I hate it.

Because if there is any distance between me and
Your eyes, your hands,
Your body, your everything.

I would not be myself. I will break apart. I will not be whole again without you.

*I never want to be distant from you.

Let me possess you:
Pull you by the throat,
Lest there be an end to this
Carnal flame.

For I am the sin
You chose, and
I am the sin
You commit,
When you flirt with the devil, and
Lock lips with evil.

I am the guilty pleasure
You seek,
You crave,
You claw for.
Abandon yourself
In the embrace of this
Whiplash tongue.

Look me in the eyes,
I will warn you:
The devil will tempt you,
Walk no further. But do, and
You will feel
A burning lust,
Satisfaction,
The need and desire of your body,
Pushed to the edge,
An unbearable fire,
Whipping, the chains,
The violent thrusts,
The clawing of your skin,
Pinned to the ground.

The Devil will know.
You,
Forced to excite the
Flames within,
You,
Falling for this temptation,
This sin,
You,
Realizing I am the one
To release you,
Over, and over, and
Over again.

Until you willingly
Chain yourself
Towards me, and
I will use you
Like the slave you already are.

Like the coffee in my cup;
A perfect blend
Of this world's flavors,
I'd sip you over, and over,
And over again.

You keep me up
My entirety stays awake
With your taste in my veins.
I want to drink you;
Keep you in me.

So be part of my life.
The thought of you lying beside me
Every morning,
Will be all the caffeine that I need.

Can we become any more than now?
When I look at you
in your oversized sweater:
Shaping your curves,
Hiding your treasures,
Whilst I bind you in place.

Can our love be greater than now?
When our limbs intertwine,
Sharing heat;
Setting the room ablaze,
Our lips wet with passion.
Your lust is my obsession.

Can we get any closer than now?
When I claw your spine,
Preying on you;
Our tongues on fire,
Your cries seeking
Me in you.

Can we want each other any more than now?
With every kiss, faster and faster,
With every ******, a moaning answer,
When you allow me the right to
Feast on your very body.

Can we become anything more than now?*
When you receive my liquid love
As I finish within you,
Eyes locked in desire
As you come to receive me.

Express yourself.*
Beyond the boundaries of language,
Everyday conversation, literal meanings,
That those who become blown away and
Those who can attune themselves
To your performance, can understand
Your inner thoughts and feelings,
Your desire to cry out to the world
That you belong.
That you exist.
That you are human too.

You don't have to tell me you love me.

I could tell; I could sense it.

The scent of your body, calling me
To you, giving me instruction,
It speaks to me, telling me

To use you.

The echoes of your moans,
Across the room,
With every ******, growing louder,

In rhythm.

Your grip getting tighter,
Whispers in my ear,
Calling out my name

Harder.

Arching your back in pleasure
The lines, the curvature
Of your every being,

Your body is a treasure any man would fight for.

So let me search you,
Explore you,
Chart a map of you with my pen.
I'll write down everything about you,
I'll never run out of ink.

You don't have to tell me you love me.
You're already mine to love.

Do you ever realize?
The significance of a coin
Given, to the beggar
On all-fours.
For the value of this coin,
Worth no more than
Spare change to thee,
Brings them
One step closer to
Living another day.

Do you ever ponder?
The release of instincts,
Like hyenas, in search of food,
Scouring the plains.
When beings seek nourishment.
Every second, minute,
Longing for survival,
Basking in the smell of food.
Without a meal and shelter,
The homeless have nowhere to go,

Do you ever wonder?
The act of charity,
Bringing a smile upon the under-privileged.
For their appreciation,
Their meager 'Thank You',
Greater for themselves,
Than they do to you,
Regardless of your standing.
Bless be the silver
That feeds their families once again.

Never do you believe
The true value of your coin,
When it is brought upon others
Whom need it more:
When it is used to bring others
To a plane higher than ever before,
When it is used to provide,
To nurture,
To care
For the homeless.

The coin in your pocket may be
Their shelter for a day.

She's got jewels for eyes:
Neverending reflections
Of pure light,
Of bliss,
A lure for my greed.

She's got stars in her smile:
Glistening,
The brightness,
That which encompasses
The core of my attention.

She's got a diamond for a heart:
That which every man wants,
Which every man craves,
That I long for.
I'd ***** for.

There are times where I wished I let you go.
No logic can hold the burden,
Taming the desire
To bathe in your presence.

A spring of lava
Warms my shell
With pain, and with
Asphyxiation.

Yet,
Irrational as I may be,
You inflict the wounds
That keep me alive.

Come. please.
Stab me some more.
Eviscerate me
As you will.

For I am irrational,
Void of human,
A being of lust,
At your satisfaction.

She is a shining star in her own spotlight.
Her constellation
Weaving a pattern which
Left me starstruck.

*Shine like you always do my love.

The comedy that I emit,
The wit that I have honed,
By life's unforeseen disasters;
Made to bring everyone to happiness,
Blessing them with smiles and laughter,
Taking their troubles away from their minds
Even for a moment. That, I tell you:

"Don't you ever look this way!
Live, laugh and smile away!"

Whilst the merry band sings
Aloud, daydreaming and in orchestral fashion,
Admiring their backs from afar I trace
The footsteps to stand by their side;
A place that I can only dream of.

For every attempt at a smile I bless,
For every sliver of effort I take,
Every little moment counts
To pull me away from
Where I dwell:
Where the Cities crumble and fall,
Ghouls picking at the cracks
Of my wandering mind,
Sanguine thoughts,
Devoid of love,
Lacking life,
Loneliness,
Madness,
Anxiety,
Rage,
Sad,
Me,
1.

For a smile on your face,
Will put a smile on mine, and will
Pull me away from these apparitions
Clawing into my skin
For a brief moment.

**However.
Your happiness can't save me.

I saved my sanity.
Wandering, lost in Chiang Mai.
The Child, bewildered,
At all the greatest treasures.

Yet a map had not revealed
The back-alleys, hidden between gazes.
In the weave of foreign air,
There lies a curious urge
To explore.

Pondering.
You took me around,
Aimless at cause, but
Genuine in eagerness.
You smile speaks in stars.

Taking in the blue jar,
Laughter over mind.
Thinking in balance,
The necessity in fun:

Every story, an adventure,
Every sip, diving deeper,
Every shot, poetic.
All in days of conversation.

Yet, what lies in fatal attraction,
Pulling me towards you.
Your state of mind;
Your insecurities, your imperfections.
You were lost too.

Life had not yet reveal
The answer to your questions, and
You stand in frustration, without
The sanctimony of
Comfort.

Let me add to yours.
Would you take my hand?
Share this journey with me, as I give you
The chance to find your pursuit?

Maybe, just maybe.
We'll have the end in Chiang Mai.

I have a small problem; as soon as I saw you,
I've put you in the center of my life.

This is wrong, I'm not thinking straight.
With delusional thoughts like 'destiny' or 'fate',
But it's true, isn't it? What they say,
Dreams do come true, and in this case, you.

But you are not mine, and that's a sin
To me, it might become my lifelong dream,
To spend the rest of my life with you,
If given a choice, I'd gladly give my life or two.

Then there are others, and their temptations,
Even the smallest of conversations
With them, will incite jealousy.
A hatred for you.

But it's so easy to forgive you, and
The negativity will subside.
For it is wrong to not accept all of you,
Both wrong and right.

In the end, I'm just a whirlwind seeking your attention.

If every word I say would express my feelings for you:

I'd drown you in my love.
You'd choke on my every thought.

Every need I have won't satisfy my greed.
Every desire I have will add oil to my fire.

This is immoral, I know I'm a fool.

But God, you are just too ******* beautiful.

I want you all for myself.
I think I'm going insane.
*Did I realize that too late?

Take me back to Hokkaido:
The streets encased in white,
The crumbling beneath our feet
As we traverse this region
Seeking peace, found in all directions.

Take me back to Hakodate:
A particular bliss can be found,
In the healthy spring,
Whilst we wander naked in the snow,
Bathing in the deepest of seas.

Take me back to Sapporo:
A quiet, yet bustling city,
Touches of silence paired with serenity,
Glimpses of modern paired with old,
Giving us the chance to find ourselves again.

Take me back there with you:*
Eyes looking forward into the distance.
Our selfishness brings us together,
Yet our selfishness will tear us apart.
Yet we still adore each other.

A quick glance
Was more than enough
For you to realize
That I've already undressed
You, in my mind,
Pinned you to the wall,
Kissed, stripped,
Wanting you
Going down,
Going in,
Entering you
Filling you whole.

A quick glance
Was more than enough
For me to realize
That your fantasies
Were locked
Within the mind;
Better expressed with actions
Than words,
Crying for more
Whilst arching your body,
To fit my needs
As they are the same as yours.

You would have realized
With a quick glance
That I've already
****** you a million times over,
That I already know
What I'm about to do to you,
What you're about to experience,
That my eyes be the guide
To your pleasure,
Giving you what you desire;
I'm selling myself to you,
At your disposal.

And I would have realized
With a quick glance
That you want the same
As you grip onto me
Inside, tighter, deeper.
That your throbbing,
Lustful soul,
Moist with liquid passion
Accelerates me, and
Tempts me to be faster
Through the sound of your
Heavy breathing in my ear.

Our eyes are the same.
They both tell the same story:

*That we want to **** each other so bad.

Hear the pull of the trigger,
A silent shot.
Though you hear nothing, the damage is done:
The bleeding of your life,
The melting of scenery.
Your surroundings go numb,

I've filled the void with chaos.

You knew the bullet was in,
You knew I was there.
You never pulled the trigger but
Life is unfair.

Life will shoot me, and
I'll be gone.

Walk the lands with me begone,
For you can learn how to live
As I was.

How to live,
With everyone entering and leaving your life.

Penning a new rhyme with each limb,
A sonnet at every whim
Coiling around the canvas
Performing for me.

I feel you must understand that
With every movement of your body
onstage:
The body of a goddess,
Your relentless desire to win,
You're pulling me closer to you.

So let me read you; know that
The messages I send
Whilst deep in you
Taking your body in, naked,
Will be similar, whereby I fill
Your inside, forcing your breath out
Urging the moans.

You'll sense my mouth, my tongue,
My hands, my skin,
My grand entrance,
A sinful parade.

So dance for me. I'll excite you,
Inspire you,
*Until you call my name for an encore.

"Hush," you said.
"Do not worry.

All the troubles that you've gone through,
The pain that it has caused you,
Do not worry.

Even if all hope seems lost,
When no one in this world would listen
I am here for you.

Share it with me.
We'll take on life's troubles together. So,
Do not worry."

Those three words,
Were more than enough to give me strength.
As long as they came from you.

None of it was said,
But felt.
There was no voice,
But pure touch.

All this, from a hug: The simplest,
But greatest form of physical contact.

As long as you were there,
To hold my hand,
To hold me close.

So I will not worry.
As long as you're here with me.

Encased, wrapped by delicate hands,
A gift, for months it had been planned,
For me as a reminder of our connection.

Decorated with glitter and gold,
A deck of painted cards that told,
"52 Things I Like About You."

Colored paper and animal drawings,
A little lovely journal showing,
All the adventures that we've had together.

"You like me. I like you. Let's be together forever.
You were the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Stay with me. You're all I need in this world."

Oh I remember, the thoughts that raced
Through my head whilst in your embrace:

"I want to be with this girl forever.
I want to love her, support her, and be with her
Every moment that I can.
I will stand by her side and take her with me through
Ups, downs and many different hardships.
And we will triumph. Because we have each other.
She was, is and will always be my everything."

I could view a year's worth of memories with you through this gift.
All the happiness, the joy, the laughter and the fun times.

And now I have to throw it away.
Such times end eventually.

It's been half a year since I had no one to embrace.
No hand to hold.
No partner to support.
No one to keep me up on my feet.
No one to catch me when I fall.
No one to stay by my side.

So it shall be, all things must end.
I have to throw this gift away.

Why can't I?

I'm still holding it. Why?
I'm tearing up. Why?
My vision's getting blurry. A stream, a flood.
A cry from the inside, hands shaking.
My emotions are killing me.

Stop. Please.
You're long gone.
Why are you still here with me?

This gift is keeping you here.
I have to throw this away.
I need to throw this away.

But I can't.

*I just can't.

...Is not one with a dead end,
...Is one led by someone else.
...Is one where you can't express yourself.
...Is one where you're used by someone else
To express themselves.

*You may as well be dead.

My worst nightmare.*
The nightmare I met,
That I fell for,
The hole that I voluntarily
Fell head-first into without thinking.

Whether asleep or awake,
The note sung at the right pitch,
To wake me up, eating me from
The inside, converting me slowly,
Conquering my life with thy many names,
Raising your flags within my heart.

A being that can take many forms,
Whether real, or imagined;
Whether evil, or a blessing, to
Pull at the feelings of which I crave,
The storm of emotion will I chase
To balance the internal scale of pain,
Suicidal versus insane.

I aim,
To capture you in all six senses,
Wanting to have you beyond
My ****** form:

Whether it'd be the desire,
To be shrouded in a clad of romance
Tempted by the touch of your skin,
The smell of your perfume,
Plunging myself into the stars of your eyes.

Whether it'd be the addiction
To have you call my name,
The slight taste of need
From you will awaken me,
Even from Death.

I will die
Soon, whilst you define my life. So
Take yourself away from me:
For I'd rather die under the pressure
Of reaching for the unattainable
Instead of being haunted by you,
Forever, always and after.

Limping through the streets at night,
A toy soldier, with all his might,
Living life whilst on one leg,
Crying tears, he starts to beg.

In this rain he can be seen
From door to door, for he seeks
Something but he doesn't know
For what purpose did he live for.

The rain pours down, the raindrops thicker,
In anguish with his hand on the trigger
Shooting the sky, his face turns grim
He curses the being that created him.

This toy had forgotten the meaning of love,
Useless, thrown away and shoved
Like trash, to the side of the street,
The gears rust and the joints creak.

His master gave up on his use,
No more fun, now all this abuse
Led to his life being thrown away,
No love ever came and no love will stay.

Drenched up to his red petticoat,
This drowning flood will make him float
Away from the wonders of life,
He tries to speak but ends in strife.

No sound can come out,
No sound will come out,
No sound can ever be heard.

For you're just a toy!
A place to belong?
Hah! That's completely absurd.

Winding himself up one last time,
He knocks on Door No. 9:
A mansion, pillars, and marble grand,
The gates open and there she stands:

A slender figure, his saving grace,
A caring master with a beautiful face
Who could prevent his lonely death
If not for his dying breath.

"You are broken, but I won't mourn,
I'll heal you until you are reborn.
I'll make sure you feel love again,
You'll never be hurt again my friend."

With her words and angelic gesture
No words weaved could ever measure
The serenity of her caring voice,
The scale at which it brings rejoice.

*No sound can come out,
No sound will come out,
No sound can ever be heard.

But trust me when I say
There's someone out there
Who can listen to your soul,

The deepest, darkest parts
Of your every being,
With the intention of
Healing you, saving you,

Making sure your every being is loved,
You will find what you are looking for,
in Her.

Is it strange?
That a thump,
A sound
In regular motion
Within the confines of your body
Would bring such happiness
To your everyday life?

Does it not
Give you a smile?
Every experience is shared,
All feelings connected,
The warmth of a newborn,
Like the glow of sunlight:
Precious.

That in due time,
The sudden loss of this beat,
Before he starts his dance,
His first step,
The smallest but greatest,
Would have faded,
Into oblivion.

You would drown in despair,
At the loss of your loved one.
A half-hearted living,
Empty at the core.
All purposes, lost, to
The wound on your soul
As Time passes by you.

Yet we not have to worry,
For he will enter the gates,
Amongst a grand parade.
The heavens will watch his dance.
A standing ovation awaits, and
He would merrily dance again.

Your loss is Heaven's gain.

11:59pm.
Every minute
Has been the same as before.
Until now:
Here you are again before me;
A masterpiece. Art. Flawless clockwork.
A free spirit, benevolent and fair.

12:00am.
You’re the clock that never stops ticking,
Your hands strike my heart at midnight
Just like before, and once again,
The next day starts, and
I’ve fallen again.

How could I not marvel at the wonders in your eyes?
The cogs that work your life?
The curiosity that pours from
Every word you convey, your expression,
Your compassion?

She’s back! They warned me:
The Timeless Piece. The World-Class Thief.
The Artist that paints stolen hearts,
Paintings that draw you in,
Trap you,
Make you gaze ‘til the end of time,
And in the end for committing this crime,
I’ll regret trying to make her mine.

12:01am.
Here we say, our goodbyes again,
“Until next time, let’s talk my friend.”
She walks away, and makes the bend.
Before I knew it,
I’m chasing again.

Every minute
Has been the same as before.
Until now.

Let us be like the oceans that travel the world;
Borderless like the sea,
Vast in knowledge and mystery,
Through the waves that crash towards one another.

Let us be azure, gleaming with the light
In the sky, where Mother envelops us
The Earth our bed,
Amidst the stars we shine.

I never thought it was possible:
A picture of you,
Could save me,
Could jumpstart my heart,
Could make me smile,
Could make me giggle to myself,
Could make me want to kiss you every single time.

Your greatest moment
In one picture.

When I close my eyes,
I can point out all the details:

The way your eyes smile as you stare at me,
Genuine and Endearing.

The way your teeth shine as much as you do,
Like stars in the sky.

The way you pose tongue-in-cheek.
In a playful manner. Fun. Interesting. Intriguing. Attractive.

This one, personal photograph
Of you, shining brightly.

It could make me miss you,
It could make me want you so much.

It could make me cry so much.
So much for you.

Now it's the closest thing I have of you.

I never thought it was possible,
A picture of you,
To be 2 sides of the same coin.

Happiness and Sadness.
A Hurricane of Emotions.

A natural disaster I'd gladly walk into.
It'll be too late to save me.

But you can.

A dancer's mind is,
An amalgamation of serenity
With one's expression,
Reaching to a higher plane:
A world devoid of language.

Manifest a paradise
Within yourself, only to be described
Through yourself, in the form of
Dance.

Weave the pattern that you will glide along.
For every breath of life,
Into the sway, twist, turn of each limb
Is never complete,
Ever flowing.

The Devil is at work here.*

Working her hands through my head,
Feeding upon my dreams,
Drawing out my nightmares.

An angelic touch
Coupled with the demon's mind;
Your rotten core was my solace.
Your evil gave me comfort.

Even when it ends,
You'd bait me in,
Chew me,
Leave me to rot and die.

The very thoughts that haunt me
Gave me hope, to the times
Before the clipping of your wings.
Before your fall into oblivion.

I'd curse your every being,
But I crave that touch.
No other could manifest
A feeling so warm, so lovely.

I'd stay in your Circle of Hell,
To bathe in your chaos,
To be yours to destroy.

I'd sin for you all over again.

Restlessness:
Wandering through
The graves of memories.
Remnants of her soul
Cloud my mind.
My apparitions haunt me
With twisted dreams and
False hopes.

What if there was another?
What if there was some other?
What if there was none other?

Come back to me my dear child,
Do not get lost again!
I'm awake, I'm alive, yet
I'm incomplete again.

Cry all you want little child.
No one will guide you here.
No one will save your poor soul
Or heal you of the scars you bear.

Now rest. Sleep.
For tomorrow is another chance,
Another day to walk in light,
'Til you bathe in darkness again at night.

Cry, cry, cry again:
Until the heavens feel the tears.
Let the angels sail your thoughts,
Your world, your burden, your deepest fears.

You will know true peace at last.

We were afraid.
Afraid of hurting each other,
Whilst in the company of one another.
But with every touch,
Every hug,
Every kiss,
We wanted each other more.

They stop us from being one.
The rumors, the jokes,
Our differences, the looks
On their faces in denial.
There was too much pressure on you.
My absence did not help at all.

So we relax, in the Sanctuary,
The bar where fond memories were made,
Of being with friends, and a great time,
But most of all, an excuse to be just
Us.

Love growing from a drink,
Absorbed into our blood, clouding our minds,
but we share the same frequency,
The same rhythm,
The same likes,
All of it.
We connect,
Our bond becoming stronger,
Mirroring thoughts.
Thoughts of each other.

Through this liquid haze,
We phase through our differences
and Meet.
Share.
Love.
You enter my mind with every drop,
Filling me with your bliss,
Embracing me in your company,
Saving me from my demons.

It is this drink that lets us hold hands
Under the table,
Away from everyone's eyes.
While I'm glad, she denies
But her shell breaks down,
Her grip, tighter on my hand,
Craving for my warmth.
This is who you really are.

It is this drink that lets us kiss
Without hesitation,
Without regret,
Whilst forgetting the consequences
Of our forbidden affair.
Underneath these neon lights,
Our love will blossom
In lust, ecstasy, romance.

It was this drink that told us what we felt about each other.*

Now I drink, but only to myself.
But with each sip, an image
Of you next to me.
Laughing, Smiling,
Crying, Yearning,
Longing for love.
From me, and no one else.

I'll sip for every moment that you aren't here with me,
Until you save me.
Until you hold my hand under the table once again.

You make the oceans blue.
The air becomes swell,
Thicker, molten,
Choking me.

Setting sail on the surface,
Following the wind,
Free-spirited,
Amidst the fleeting clouds.

How does it feel up there?
Hovering above the water,
Catching waves in my head?

Maybe you'll cry;
The tears make the sea.
Let's wander through them,
So we can be free.

My mind becomes clearer,
When the thoughts linger:
When you latch me by the throat
Hook, line, and sinker.

Just to be nearer;
Just to be near her.

I'm drowning in insanity.
So **** me, with your hands
I cherish, and with
Your thoughts
I will perish.

*Take me.
I want you, and I always do.

The worst to come from
The lost of a loved one,
Is not the loss itself,
But rather:

The inability to,
Let them know
Your appreciation for
Their existence.

The inability to,
Cope with losing
A large part of
Yourself.

The inability to,
Create more memories
To cherish, to experience,
Together.

For memories that have
Already been,
Will forever be regarded
As your greatest source of happiness, and

Memories that
Could have been,
Will never be discovered.
Exploring them will just end in tears.

The tears of possibilities.
Those hold the heaviest weight.
Those hold the greatest emotion.
Those hold you back from moving on.

Have a smoke.
A whiff of the flaming air
To burn the worries away and
Scorch your tears.

For 1 stick,
You don't have to worry about life;
It'll give your mind a chance to relax.

Let the ash crumble.
For every glow of your cigarette,
It'll scare away the demons
That plague your mind.

*Let me have my time please.
I just want to get away.

I'm a matchbox.
My only purpose is to be used.

You strike my match when you grab a hold of me,
One after another
The friction excites me, and
With the flicker of a flame
I burn brightly.

I crave that flame.
The need to shine,
To be the light in everyone's lives.

*But what if you don't need me anymore?

I hope you know it calms me down to hear that you're doing well.

I hope you know getting a message from you will brighten up my day.

I hope you know I get jealous all the time when you talk to other guys.

I hope you know that I cried rivers for you.

I hope you know I don't treat anyone else like a queen but you.

I hope you know I get excited talking about you to other girls.

I hope you know it makes me feel happy that you depend on me at times.

I hope you know I fix your hair even though there's only one or two strands on your face every single time, just to get an excuse to stare at you.

I hope you know I make sure you're safe first before everyone else.

I hope you know I'd call you in a heartbeat to check if you're okay.

I hope you know that I cry when you do.

I hope you know that I go out of my way to help you through problems.

I hope you know that all I ever worry about is you.

I hope you know I pat you on the head to tell you I like you.

I hope you know that I try my best to remind you that I like you.

I hope you know, over and over and over again, that I like you.

I hope you know I like you.

I like you.

Def.*

To gaze in your direction
Should your eyes divert to provoke me.
Or, in the distance,
The horizon you seek of
Would have me waiting there for you
And none other.

To listen your notes;
The pitch, the melody,
The songs you pen for me.
Whether it be in tune with mine,
Compared to other men;
The wolves that hunt you for your flesh.

To take in your breath;
Every ounce of air from your lungs,
A self-destructive fallacy,
Your troubles folding in on you.
As if the perspiration compels me
To make you feel whole again.

Until I'm sure, until my obsession
Vanishes from the thoughts
Of your attention towards me,
The gears will turn for aeons,
The tears will flow forever,
The sadness will overwhelm me.

Until then, I'll be sure to be
Your other half as destined.

Even if you're flesh and blood,
Weaving the timeline that speaks my tale.
Even if you have good intentions,
Taking me back to reality.

Don't come here.
Don't wake me up from my dream.
Don't carry me away.

Don't take me away from the field,
From which the seeds of memory grow,
Where it is most fertile,
With the joys of nature, friendships and love,
Where I may not grow anywhere else.

I don't want to go home.
Please.

You have cold eyes, young man.
Seeking nothing deeper than what you already know.

Sipping tears from the hole in your heart.
Don't drown yourself in wretchedness.
That doesn't fit you.
It doesn't bode well with that

Tell me mirror, who are you to tell me what to do?
Who are you to tell me what to seek?
Even if I'm looking at myself.
Even if we share the same gaze.

Who am I to tell myself what I want?

Eyes closed, on the verge of tears,
Knowing we will be far away from each other.

I can't stay.
You can't go.
I won't be as safe anymore
Whilst we are apart.

And there she is. You.
You who lived in my mind.

A perfect replica.

So true to the original,
I could feel your hand on mine.
The warmth, the skin, the touch,
All burned into my head.

Beyond that, a hug.
Melting me from the inside.
Those lips I crave,
Biting them in pleasure.

An image so real,
There was voice. There was laughter.
You'd react to everything I say.
The conversations were endless.

And those eyes.

Those eyes...

Time flies when you're around.

But.
In the end.

You're just a dream, a thought, a shadow.

And in the end.
I still want you instead.

I feed off your passion for me.
Your want of my body,
Your need for my heart,    
Your desire of me;
You can have it all.*

Melt me with your love.

Knots of a string,
Tied in the darkness
Where my soul dwelled.

Beyond the horizon
Where the seas not part it,
The tides shan't break, and
Wildlife dare not hunt for its flesh.

For man, the greatest adversary,
Could not create
The greatest obstacles in life
To prevent you
From pulling me
Towards you once again.

You're making me burn baby.

Like the sun,
Enveloping my entire world,
Lighting me up on fire.

Your red hot glare
Scorching my heart
Searing your name in my soul.

Anything for more.
I'll only feel cooler
Naked in your presence.

Turn me to ash with your tongue,
Melt me with your breath,
Burn me with lust baby,
Let me taste Death.

Let me breathe in your heat.

The only thing worse than tears streaming down my eyes

When no tissue can absorb it all,
When no words can stop it,
When no friend can help you,
When it leaves you at your weakest,
At your worst,
At your most vulnerable state,

*Is to see them stream down from yours.

I've always pondered why
The expression of desire
Be best expressed by
The burning of flame.

For me, that is not enough;
My thoughts of desire are not but a flicker,
Or the mention of warmth;
The lighting of pyres.

For me, it'd be poison:
Thoughts, injected into the brain,
Choking me with desire.
You, you, you, you, you.

You'd want more of it.
There are no signs, it grows.
Like bacteria feasting on your mind,
Replacing your humanity
With something inhumane.
Someone inhumane.

Until you smile and can't stop smiling,
As you have more and more,
Not of this someone, but
This image beyond reality.

'Til I can't recall your voice,
Your face, your smile,
Your grace, though I know
You're the one for me.
The perfect partner.

*My perfect partner.
And I will be yours forever.

Ancient.*
Living through the ages,
The ruins that scatter
Pieces of my heart
and culture.
Your everything
Will be my *demise.