I went to the Vet, for what it's worth,
Give Fido these pills? How on Earth?
Fido did the big dummy spit,
Then he snapped me! Over it!

Welcome to Home School today,
A typical mum might say,
We''ll start with Maths, okay,
First,  I have an empty glass,
There is 0 wine here for a blast,
Then I'll pour in half,
Before I top it up,
Now I have 1 whole wine to sup,
Home School does need wine o'clock,
For mums, not kids, quite a shock,
Stop laughing at Mum, okay,
She flunked Maths too, along the way,
Some Mums are not teachers, okay,
Now who farted? She's say,
End of home school for the day!

So, these are my piety years,
A Christian gal lives here,
Jesus is a sweet name, my dears,
He is still in his blessing  years,
Time to stop stressing with fears,
No need for crocodile tears,
In our co-dependency years,
Faith sets us all free, you see,
True liberation for you and me........

We are crafters, I know,
We do things, row by row,
We''ll do housework at the end of this row,
We said that several hours ago!

When  did  I learn somewhere,
That Capitalism does not care,
Should have realized when  I was young,
Economies flourish best with guns,
Over here in Oz, you see,
Iron ore and uranium, basically,
These fund our economy,
Is the human race naive?
Depends on what you believe,
Uncle Sam will want you and you,
Take care, young chicks and dudes,
Armed conflict soon everywhere,
When the Covid antidote is here,
Capitalism does not even care....

Once were dinners a deux, you see,
Was it only a few months, or a century?
Once were schools abuzz with kids,
Teachers agog to see what they did,
Once were universities,
Alive with youthful dreams, indeed,
Once were pubs with beers.
Once were football here,
These are viral times, my dears,
Once were bushfires too,
A horror story for me and you,
Yes, Stephen King wrote this year,
Once were Oz fun times, not fears.

When do we knock off?
Home offices, not for toffs,
I stagger to the desktop,
Yikes, another job!
Guess it won't take me long,
******* my phone, my new song,
We can afford gas for cars vehicular,
But not allowed anywhere particular,
So, we work in the home office,
Jobs designed for masochists!

Here's some tips I can say,
If I give you advice this way,
You'll never fit through the door!
You're twice the size you were before!
So I'm not doing beer belly ****!

This is a quest for chicks of any age,
How to meet a decent bloke on life's stage,
Wouldn't have a clue, how to build a rapport,
With someone sincere, who is not a dorb,
We're all humans with feet of clay,
Guess  I won't meet one this way!

Can you discuss this with me?
Is honesty anyone's best policy?
Here, truth is no one's friend,
Where does BS start and end?

New Blithering is where I live,
Some laughs this burb does give,
You can buy plastic sheep here,
Do not know if they are dear,
In a store not far away,
Does a plastic sheep think our way?
Could it talk in an ovine way?
Indeed, what would a plastic sheep think and say?
"How did we all end up here anyway?"
"I guess we just did, okay!"
I assume a plastic sheep can think and say,
"I hope you have an awesome day!"

This is better left unsaid,
Would  a doctor want this read?
"Growing old is not for jibs,
Your fluid tablets give us the blip!'

Let's visit our sacred space,
Pray for blessings of grace,
Pray for an encounter with the Lord,
If it all came true, we'd all be awed,
Personal encounters with grace,
Hidden, but not far, in our sacred space.

Is this talking? A fleeting glance,
Another episode of our non-romance,
He's eye candy for older babes,
He'll saunter off one day,
Is this talking? He blows a kiss,
Imagine being his old miss of bliss!

Yes, a blessed Sunday morning,
A fresh day dawning,
I pray for faith to unite,
In the early morning light,
As our day of earthly prayers does start,
To be blessed, chats straight from the heart!

My name is Julie Chatterbox,
I do waste thoughts a lot,
I can perform my monologue,
My brain does a yap a lot,
All I have to say,
Is raise your coffee this way,
To stinking thinking, okay?
If you want an opinion, ask me,
I can indulge in repartee!

I met a check-out chick the other day,
I asked how was her New Year's Day, okay,
She said she had a dreadful New Year's Day.
Her boyfriend battling bushfires with the CFA,
He had never been so far away,
What on earth could I say?
Our firies are like superheroes today,
Right there with Superman, okay?
Would you give them a salary or lunch money? Hey,
They don't do it for the money, okay?
Well, give them all a gold medal,  I say,
When these bushfires are gone one day,
Chats about our firies everywhere these days!

Who is a good person to know?
Each has a path to follow,
I do good things for others, you see,
Remaining kind  and so friendly,
Hearts do need folk to look after,
Souls need peace and laughter!
My path is that of a bard, as well,
Who is good and really swell?
I am being modest, what the hell!

If I were a world dictator,
I would make peace now, not later,
I would ban bombs and guns,
A new way on Earth begun,
Big dreamers start with dreams,
We could change the world, it seems,
We need peace now, not later,
If I were a kind dictator.........

Girl met boy one day,
She dumped him along the way,
He was a ******* for thee,
He called her a ****, you see,
Now he can't get his rocks off, tee hee,
Try not abusing any woman, enough,
You're not an excuse for a man, tough!

I, giraffe, stand long and tall,
Am I the tallest of you all?
I have such a long elegant neck,
I see above the crowds, by heck,
I can tower over you all,
I, giraffe, stand long and tall.

I was asked to create a holiday,
What about a pyjama day?
We would not get dressed at all,
Stay in bed, hide and stall,
Sit around in flannelette,
Stay in PJ's, don't get dressed,
In fact, don't wash or cook,
Do mental slumming with ****** books!

If only this dog could talk,
We'd chat as we went for walks,
Indeed, what would a dog say?
"Hello tree, how are you today?"
"Hello, each blade of grass,
Hope this walk's not my last."
"Hello, cute little poodle,
Puppies we could have oodles!"
But what would a poodle say?
"Just keep on walking, on your way!"

I'm a teacher for forty three years,
Does that make me an expert dears?
It's a rocket science yet,
Teaching reading to the pets,
Some folk are born to teach,
Educating our students each!

Being positive is my thing,
But I do have an evil twin,
I imagine some weird things,
Like being a gastric surgeon,
Give laryngospasms for these durgeons,
I don't think they'll ever be men,
Ah, it's no use snivelling, you ken?
Hope they get chicks better than me,
Else, who is going to cook your tea?
You must stop being such sooks,
Get off buns, and learn how to cook!

A writer gawps at society,
I went to a bus stop after tea,
Littered with used syringes,
Drugs evolving, slightly unhinges,
Why do we accept this as normalcy?
It's a challenge for the authorities,
Or for changing norms in society..........

It was a dark and stormy day,
Cooking tea in the usual way,
This was my mother long ago,
"Don't touch the pressure cooker, no!"
Subtly, she left the scene,
Forgot the cooker, its head of steam,
Bang! Did that curry explode,
Mum's response, implode!
"Why didn't you check that stove?"
"You told me not to touch it, no!"
All I can say on this, fifty years later,
Don't use pressure to cook my curry or taters!

A member of the dating scene,
Only online, giggles it seems,
Today a man did 'wink' at me,
Can you imagine, hilarity,
He lives 3000 miles away, by the sea,
****** fungus covers he,
He has more than slight obesity,
Should I wink at the walrus? Tee hee,
I'llpack up my gear and get out of here,
You'll manage without me, non-dear,
I'm off to a walrus by the sea,
You'll learn to cook your lunch and tea,
Byeee! Yeah, well in reality,
I've got cellulite and jocularity!

Yes, I'm 65, now elderly,
That's the term, officially,
One day, shopped locally,
Bought a lotto, luckily?
Someone wins tonight, says she,
Dear God, why can't it be me?
Yes, yes, this lotto is lucky,
Wait for the draw, breathlessly,
Anticipate now I am elderly,
Old folk can be winners too, says she,
This is going to be my lucky night,
If I win, I can sort the bill for the light,
Getting old is not for hissy fits,
Come on, lotto, let's have a bit!

Yes, once I did a newsboy job,
With a newsagent I did hobnob,
Our little town at four o'clock,
In depths of winter, quite a shock,
In New Blithering I did search,
Why did Heathcliff leave me in the lurch?
Not to be a drama queen,
I did retire from that scene,
It was quite amusing I say,
Second breakfasts every day,
No wonder we were obese and fat,
No longer a newsboy, that's that!

I rewrote a song called, "Denim and Lace,'
Hope this brings a laugh to your face,
"Pyjamas and Fleece,
I look fat in everything,
And you are a fat old king,
Making me do everything,
Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!"
No hot speed dates to me,
I remove my bra at half past three,
No need to be a sook,
I'll curl up here and write a book,
"Wearing P.J.'s and fleece!'

My ancestors were a funny lot,
Christians, or Atheists who lost the plot,
I meandered into a world of Faith,
A Christian woman, praying for Grace,
We're all on a mission for God,
To a path beyond, we're trod,
Every faith is for free,
It's up to you what you believe,
I must say I am atheist friendly,
All inclusive Christianity.

I must confess my love,
Ships in the night, my dove,
I do but see you driving by,
I'll love you till the end of time,
But I do not to pieces to fall,
Fragments of love, that's all,
A smile, a wave, a brief hello,
I confess my love, where did you go?
Or where do you come from, my dove?
To you,  I confess my secret love..........

I cast a wish into  the world,
A message from a good old girl,
As  I wish for good intentions,
From a pacifist, I mention,
Make the best of every situation,
Step back from their manipulation,
Nasty makes negativity,
Let's hear it for positivity,
I am okay here today,
Are you okay this way?
Yes, we're both good as gold,
It's a ****** to be growing old,
So let's pray for tranquil ways,
Peace means calm, hooray!

We're all in life's long race,
Pondering on a distant place,
Where we are spiritual beings,
Our souls free beyond dreaming,
No, we can't take stuff beyond,
Immaterial thoughts to wonder on,
Do you believe in the afterlife?
Why wait for peace, no strife?
If we all had a Peace day today,
The world could unite this way,
A distant place, how far away?

Virgins define their shelves,
Are they left on the shelves?
No, virgins are doing for themselves!

I bought a coffee the other day,
Gawped at society on the way,
Coffee shop like the undertakers,
Here no conversation makers,
"The  crowd" sitting in total silence,
Gazing at phones, is it sense?
So much for that coffee shop,
The solitude of worshiping Microsoft,
Alone together, where does it stop?
Solitary silence in the coffee shop!

Ripples in a slow river, lazy,
Flowing down time for thee,
All the nostalgic memories,
Ghosts of the survivors, yes,
Living in our hearts to bless,
Then we'll all fade away into space,
Floating away in the ripples of grace.....

Yes,  I was born a helper, the Elf,
Though thanks were left on the shelf,
Buddy the Elf is no fighter,
Smiling in peace makes us lighter,
Helpers find solutions, you see,
I am nice to people so nasty,
All I can say is, "Good for me!"

Mothers know best, or do they?
We get used to anything these days,
It is all conditioning in these ways,
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?  I say,
Because he conditioned it! Hey, hey,
Mothers know best, or so they say,
Who is conditioning whom today?

Virus alert! Virus alert!
Not feeling quite so pert,
These are the germs God sends ya,
I woke up with influenza!
Pucker up, you Casanovas,
One kiss will give you pneumonia!

Between the stars,
There are particles afar,
Between dreams for each,
Ghosts appear beyond reach,
Between flames a'glow,
Sparks fly for us, we know,
Between shadows and light,
We're all shades in the night,
Between water and air,
Mists can form anywhere,
Between notes and song,
Music can linger along,
Between breaths that meet,
We share kisses so sweet,
It's between you and your next wife,
Time you got a life!

This poem brings a surprise,
Once I came home with bits of pies
In my hair, kids did what they dare,
Food fights all over everywhere,
All part of sacramental life,
Church celebrations full of strife,
No, I am not kidding,
In cream puffs we were skidding,
This Dracula  finally left the scene,
You try teaching all those tweens!

Yes, it was an incredible aroma,
I walked past a shop called, "Pizza of Roma",
In our little Oz suburbia,
I'm having pizza, not to disturb ya!
Tantalizing scent is this,
Yah, pizza, full of bliss,
Ah, aroma incredibilis!

Long ago, in a youth now gone,
I spent hours at a pond,
A clay base , sun adorning,
Tadpoles swimming, half forming,
I spied with magnifying glass,
Frogs finally hopped at last,
Now, no frogs, cause no rain,
Is is all because of climate change?
So I ponder on such ponds,
Where have all the tadpoles gone?
That was our ecological health,
How can we restore our planet's wealth?

'Twas after a frosty night,
I caught a glimpse of sunlight,
Sparkling on a spider web,
Miracle, enough said,
Patterns so intricate,
Did not brush aside, delicate,
Yes, 'twas after a frosty night,
Spied a web of sheer delight!

Have you ever seen a sad retriever?
Of their true love, we are the receivers,
How many need to change a light bulb? None!
To them, there is a perpetual sun.
Tongues lolling, tails wagging,
Always smiling, never flagging,
Yes, we love our happy fur friend dudes,
With their positive mental attitudes!

Here is what I need to say,
We're all human with feet of clay,
So, do lay off us chicks today,
Go look in a mirror some day,
To older men with your spare tyres,
Yes! Your gynaecologist has retired!

Of fur friends I am a fan,
Have you tried a Catscan?
I wander the dark backyard,
Finding Kitty is really hard,
Where are you now, naughty thing?
Do not me any dead mice bring!
I do not need such morn offering,
Catscan for you, do please come in!

Once I was a teen,
That's when Mum got mean,
Dragged us off on long drives,
Her whinging did give me hives,
Maybe she could not hack us growing,
Autonomy we wanted knowing,
We tried not to be like our mother,
Turned each into totally another,
Nag, nag, nag and moan,
Not again,  I'd  sit at home,
With music and a fur pal,
A book, a pen, a suburban gal......
So, in half a century,
Not much changed for me,
I sit and scribble, solo,
But never alone, my muse, lo!