My Immortal,
what you upto today?
It's just that, well we haven't met yet have we, eh?
I'm sat alone drinking and I know,
yeah I know what you're thinking
but I'm just a fraction and
I want to be whole.
So your interaction,
well yeah that's my goal
and with you as my tower,
my guard I can lower.
Behind you in the sun and
underneath you in the rain.
Consuming your love,
erasing my pain.

Can anybody hear me,
is anyone there
or am I alone as I lay my soul bare.
I know it's a big ask,
for something so rare.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Go on,
break me, shake me,
like I've never known.


What?
Go on.
What's up?


You've picked me up
and I'm already broken?


Oh sorry, have you got your receipt?

Poetry by Kaydee.

You're a glitch in the system,
a ******' mistake.
But carry on regardless
'cause I know you're fake.

I'm sure that you know,
you were never all that.
A big ******' lie
and then you did that!

So take off your mask
and show me your face.
'Cause to me you're already
a ******' disgrace!

You cast a steel shadow
yet still hide your face.
You shared all my secrets
and told them my name.
Now, step into your spotlight
and reveal your game.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Lipstick kisses,
we're both wearing red.
I motion her over and onto our bed.
Blood red smeared across our lips.
I keep her enticed, I straddle her hips.
Seductively playing,
I'm touching my lips.
Long acrylic nails,
for us never fails.
I show her a ***** and
she gently wails.

She's waiting,
my sweetheart,
I lust her so much.
We ****, we're on fire
and I wonder,
which of us holds the power.
I, in all honesty is hoping it's her,
'cause then I'll continue this life
in her beautiful blur.

Poetry by Kaydee.

She's spent all the rent on
cigarettes and cider,
so pull out your **** and put
it inside her.
No need to bring your polished game,
for this one's a **** and that
is her name.
In her **** or up her ***.
The choice is yours,
where d'ya wanna ***?
Say "You ******' ****, get down on all fours, 'cause this is how I **** little ******!
Impale her on your hardened stick and explode inside her, creamy and thick.
Bangin' her *******,
it used to be tight.
It's not anymore,
it gets wider each night.
Then when you're done,
wipe the rest up her back,
letting her know most got
shot up her crack.
Next week she'll be suckin',
an appetizer before ******'
This **** she don't care,
for a TGirl with red hair.

*******
Poetry by Kaydee.

Ladies, ladies, ladies,
in all shapes and sizes.
Some like no other
in malesque disguises.
There's more if you know
where to look down below.
From a soft,
sausage snake,
long and hard,
you can make.

Poetry by Kaydee.

She's a new born under
protective cover,
with a shield like no other from her
umbilical Mother.
Covered from head to toe by the
artists jacket.
In clear polythene for you to admire,
not attack it.
Or the mobster paid in Lira to stop
anyone going near her,
when all that she needs
is the unconditional love
from the bosum that
feeds her.

Poetry by Kaydee.

A Queen in waiting, a Princess no less.
Each day, a routine before being seen.
For some, a shadow and not of the eye.
The kind you'd find on that of a guy.
An army of pogonophobes in dysphoric confusion.
Each purging our wardrobes,
a repeated delusion.

A leading *******
from a pornographic circus.
The ***** under graduate from
a school of *** workers.
Your Hubby's vision in blue
is our secret down south,
'cause he wouldn't kiss you with
that ***** mouth.

So, I'll stop you there Sizzle Chest
with your cans of Stella
in your pristine white vest.
'Cause this is real easy,
even for you Mr ******.

I used to be a Princess but
now I'm a Queen,
recently coronated
after all that I've seen.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Look what they've done,
torn you apart.
In the name of fun,
some kind of black art.

I'd been thrown into the lake,
arms and legs tied.
I sunk to the bottom,
they thought I had died.
Out of the depths I arose
wearing a beautiful dress.

Some kind of new magic,
like a good witch.
A white art.
I don't seek revenge
for I have a pure heart.

It's now they'll see
that they could never be
someone like me.
Because I'm the greatest
******* in a dress
they'll ever meet.

Poetry by Kaydee.

I don't have much but I have hope.
I promise, I have hope.
Cross my heart and hope to die.

Poetry by Kaydee.

The clock on the wall,
like my bomb ticking.
The time, my time running.
Sat in the dark, everything to think.
Speechless, nothing to say, no point.
Doubters, expresionless, doubting.
There's only me listening.
Loneliness, the biggest killer.
Knocking at my door.
Might as well let him in.

Poetry by Kaydee.

You're just above the water, just.
You know you're going, don't you.
You've hung on for ages, years.
You seem ok about going, are you.

Just go, now.
Just go.
Go.

Poetry by Kaydee.

I wake up in the bath
after a day on the wine.
Fat ******* arrives
at mine around nine.
Friday night and it's too much,
the temptation.
******* powder with dehydration.

Back into town,
bouncing around like a clown.
Absorbing attention,
I'm the star of the show.
I'm cloaking my secret,
the one they can't know.

I'm out of my mind
and I've no Idea where.
I cannot go back,
'cause she lives in there.

I've been running for years,
purge after purge.
Yet I know come tomorrow,
I'll again have the urge.

Because I need her
and I love her.
I am her!

Poetry by Kaydee.

I spoke to my partner babe
at our place and everything's well.
I sure feel a lot of love babe.

I met with my friend babe
at the bar and everything's good.
I've sure got a lot of love babe.

I saw my partner and friend babe
in the street and everything's clear.
They've sure got a lot of love babe.

Spoke with my sister babe
at her home and everything's
much clearer now.
I sure hear a lot of lies babe.

Talked to my brother babe
at his flat and everything's
oh so ******' clear.
I sure hear a lot of ******' lies babe.

Listened to my demons babe
in my head and everything's clear.
I sure feel a lot of hate babe.

Met with my solicitor babe
in my prison cell and
everything's gone.
I sure feel ****** babe.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Flicking through your magazine,
you want that perfect face.
Put it on your credit card,
become the perfect Wife.
May as well go the extra mile,
book yourself in for a new hairstyle.
Get your nails done,
you might as well.
Something bright
so your friends can tell.

What did it all cost?
You went too far but at least you
look like your favourite star.

After all, let's have no doubt.
To look like this is what
life's about.

Isn't it??

Poetry by Kaydee.

Twenty years in the fast lane, speeding
was ecstacy at the time.
Sweet heady bubbles of coke,
buzzing at feeding.
No softeners added, lemon or lime.
My therapy, my medication.

******, my mind on a long vacation.
Knowing this time would
one day arrive.
My restless legs, my tired insides.
My not so central nervous system,
twitching fingers, flickering eyes.
This to me is no surprise.
My therapy, now my reprise.

Peotyr by aKydee.

This writer HAS been damaged.
This writer WILL, well, who knows.
This writer IS distracted with life
and all that life tries to **** her with.

I don't understand it but then I am happy with life* (go me!)

p.s Is she still alive? Who knows.

Poetry by Kaydee

I write about death.
My art depicts death.
My life is about death.
Maybe for me life is death,
. . .    . . .    . . .
or on my death, I will find life.

Poetry by Kaydee

My Pandora's box, nailed shut, known as the FEAR.
I can't look at the box, it is FEAR.
FEAR itself.
A good day today but my fragile mind has seen the box, the FEAR.

Face the FEAR, **** the FEAR.
Face the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.

The apprehension, the box, the FEAR.
**** the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.

Oh, the untold, the box, the FEAR.
**** the FEAR, **** the ****** FEAR.

But for you, not one ****** tear.
Tell anyone you read this poem and
I'll ****** **** you!

Kaydee, confidence growing.
Kaydee, feeling bold.
Kaydee, the story untold.

Poetry by Kaydee.

The head fuckery of societies rules.
The indoctrination in our schools
has led to the homeless on our streets while politicians count their seats.
The privileged few, too rich to mention
fail to reveal their true intention.

The NHS setup to break by psychopaths all on the take.
Big business stripped of all its gold,
no pension funds left for the old.
Big pharma, they don't miss a trick,
they're making you & I feel sick.
They push the pills that ring the tills
even though they know it kills.

With the best advice and greatest will
our kids are on **** & fentanyl.
While we're divided black & white,
we'd never stand up to their might
So take your neighbour, hold their hand and together we'll reclaim our land.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Yes I am ace, do you know what I mean?
I need to be out there, I want to be seen.
I have done before and I may do again.
I can't say who with nor can I say when.
Now click on the heart,
say you like my feed.
Though needing you more,
you're more than I need.

Poetry by Kaydee.

In your sun I know I'll drown.
So, I rise when it goes down.
Add all my years, I am so old.
Yet, I'll never feel your cold.
Your punctured skin are signs you're dead
but that to me means I am fed.
I'll lure you in with fake romance.
The lies I'll tell, you'll take a chance.
Allaying your fears, I'll promise you years.
Then, muffled screams that no one hears.
So what you see as silver and gold
in reality, a death so cold.

Poetry by Kaydee.

I'm like a song in a clef-less world.
My symphony of blood and tears
have stained my skin of many years.

Duran, Depeche have carried me through
until that day when I meet you,
but don't be long because I need
my happy sunshine song.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Oh ****.
Oh, oh, it didn't work did it?
Why?
Why didn't it work?
I can't see!
I have blood in my eyes, my hands.

Oh ****.
It didn't work did it?
The plastic bag!
****!
The plastic bag!
****,
****,
Ff cck ckk err
err
(sigh)

Poetry by Kaydee
(**** it Kaydee! Just **** it! That's it!)

Leave my Nan out in the rain, it'll be right.
She's having veg later with some meat, on a bone but meat.
No gravy, she's too lazy. She will not thread it.

So what do you think? Shall we fold it the other way?
Do it tonight, it won't be today and not quite black but definitely not grey.

If it smells like cheese, just wear one and keep one eye open!
Then, we may even finish third.
Remember, listen for the sound.
It's crucial, like a twenty pence piece.

Dust! Always dust. Grams and ounces of the dustiest dust.
Never before six and never after six.
Just continuous with no bends, bubbles or any of that material you really like.

Because when he'd finished speaking (The Italian) I didn't understand a ******* word of it!

"Sorry, I don't speak Italian", shrugged my shoulders, did that thing you do with your bottom lip and ****** off.

THE END
(FINITO)

Can't wait to see the old man Wednesday week.
Give my update on exposing the freak.
I'll have to 'create' by Wednesday tea, so me Shan & Lloydy* can watch T.V.
I told Deb Simo, I count as best friend, but didn't consider how all this would end.
As one told another and the news spread.
The obvious outcome, my husband is dead.
What would I do without my old Mum who guided and led me to be with this ***.
By listening to Mum and taking advice, this peado has had me not once but now twice.
Oh didn't I tell you, when I was fourteen, he took down my knickers, did something obscene.
Now that my marriage has all ended bad, I've now got a boyfriend as old as my Dad.
And if you think that's a joke, here's one, he's probably due another stroke.
Three years of bad luck, what will I do next.
Send him vile messages, all via text.
It can't be long now, and when all is done at least me and Shan have had lots of fun.
Now his family all know, they smirk and they grin. Best just do that than risk say something.
But what will he do. He'll tell them they're through unless they come clean and point at us two.
As we'd always planned, "best get on our toes". He's not ******* stupid, he already knows.
So time to move on and find some new friends.
For me, you and him this is where it all ends.

Poetry by Kaydee.

You've been the roof above my my head.
You've been the pillow on my bed.
The bubbles in my bath, the tonic to my wrath.
All this you were and this you still are.
You could've escaped, you could've gone far.
You're the first to call, you make my problems small.
Just one thing though!
You still call me Paul.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Kiss my bloodied lips before you go.
Remember darling, you reap what you sow.
I gave you that warning a few years ago.
So what's coming to you, you already know.
Now close your eyes and hold on tight.
I'll make it quick when I put out your light.
When you are gone, I might shed some tears.
Remembering back, we had some good years.
You chose a new ally, you made a mistake.
It won't take you long to realise he's fake.

Poetry by Kaydee

And in the silence that's often deafening, I hear my heart that still beats.
Reminding me of more pain to come, disguised as truths we are their lies.
After all these years there's no surprise.
Whispered softly into your ears, we are the makers of salty tears.
One day your heart, cold, blue and torn will cease to beat, when death is born.
Life's light will fade for one last time, up through the clouds your soul will climb.
A breeze from the graveyard whispers death but that's ok, I hold its hand.
A smile in the dark I understand, the effort you've shown, this was all planned.
Congratulations to you, my life is through.

Be good, be bad.
Have things, have none.
Give love, taste love.
Feel power, share the wealth.
Keep every penny all to yourself.
Learn the game, change your name.
Watch the sky and never cry.

But remember this, when you are dead.
All these words, I never said.
You were never here, I was never there.
Ask anyone, see if they care.

. . . and now you're dust and time has past.
Did you come first or were you last?

Poetry by Kaydee.

Time to leave these ******* behind
and delete them all from my mind.
All had gone except for one.
He was the worst for hanging on.
He should have been just like the rest,
who didn't like how I was dressed.
Not to mention my high heeled shoes,
well I don't care, It's them who lose.
I'll need to find a brand new friend,
not like these who all pretend.
One who'd say "I don't care, do what you do.
I'll put the kettle on, you fancy a brew?"

******* barking and let me in,
Check the form,
I wreak of sin,
Where's your Master,
the man in red,
Tell him I'm here,
I'm finally dead,

Those ******* people and their lies,
so full of ****,
I do despise,
I couldn't take it anymore.
My body, I've left it on the floor,
Well, what's left is no good,
It's all covered in blood
and how do I feel?
I feel ******* good!

They smiled at my eyes
and lied to my ears,
They think I don't know,
I've known it for years,
I wrote them a note
and sealed it away,
That note is still here
to this very day.

****** poetry by
Kaydee.

My Mum has five kids
and first one was Paul.
Oh look it's a boy so
we'll give him a ball.
The second was Ste,
a year younger than me.
Then there was Wayne
and oh what a pain!
Now the fourth was a girl
and so her hair we'll curl.
The fifth, it was Gary
and the last one she'll carry.
So four will wear blue,
it's just what you do.

Did nobody check if
this **** is true?
I'll prove this is wrong
when I show you my thong.
You see, I prefer lace
and blush on my face.

But seriously though,
these rules are so dumb.
How the ****
will I tell my Mum.
For twenty five years
I hid it away.
Where do I start
and what do I say?
I showed her my nails,
I'd painted them red,
My Sister piped up
"Are you off yer head"

So the best thing to do
is just show her it's you.
With a smile on my face,
she'll see that it's true.

Poetry by Kaydee. ❤

It's raining, it's raining.
Her blood, it is draining.
She went to bed, he smashed her head,
for nagging and complaining.

Now he's inside and oh, how he cried.
The lucky ******* should have fried.
Someone told her Mum & Dad,
I have some news, it's really bad.

She's loved to dance since she was five.
She can't do that, she's not alive.
He was a talent, web site creation,
he'll return to that when he gets probation.

Poetry by Kaydee.

I've taken my sorrows
& buried them deep,
The things like my laughter
I'm trying to keep,
but things like my sadness,
they all need to go.
My privacy took so
now they all know,

Denied, denied and my God I tried,
Each time that I asked,
they all ******* lied,
All that I did and all that I do,
Destruction, a gift was to me
and from you,

With this gold ring,
I take your life.
Into your back,
I put my knife.
You wouldn't listen and
you were my bride,
You weren't by my side,
it was then that I died.

I feel like a ghost,
unable to feel,
I don't know who's fake,
I don't know who's real,
Unable to trust who's
*******,
I can't make new friends
when I feel like this,
Vulnerable and insecure,
I stay inside and lock my door,
This isn't life,
not for me I'm sure,
I cannot take this anymore.

Poetry from my dead heart
by Kaydee.

A subtle panic like a slow death creeps, the anxiety within me, for here's where it sleeps.
Quietly loud enough to cover the sound, of the glassware you've thrown, now strewn all around.
Rocking all positive lullaby's to sleep, ensuring all menacing thoughts I'm to keep.
It's adept like the teen who's stayed out beyond curfew, sneaks in armed with oceans with which it will drown you.
All because of the lies that were said, went in through your ears and lived in your head.
The life you once had held aloft like a prize, you breathe your last breath and then close your eyes.

Poetry by Kaydee.

My name is Sara, a transgender chick
Wanted a *****, was given a ****
I hide it in knickers of satin and lace
before sitting down to make-up my face,
Next the prosthetics, I'm using two bits.
Stuck to my chest, they'll do as my ****
Now for my legs I'll put on false tan,
I wouldn't do this if I were a man
Alternative nights, a t-girl delights
to sit on her bed and pull on new tights.
I'll put on a dress, a cute one no less.
Then for my shoes, high heels I choose
A sandal style shoe as every girl knows
not only looks cute, they'll show painted toes
A bit of eyeliner, eyebrow definer,
lipstick and blush, I'm now looking lush.
I stand in the mirror all ready to go,
there's only one question I just have to know.
"Does my *** look big in this?"

Poetry by Kaydee.