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Oskar Erikson Oct 2018
it just keeps escaping me.
when the candles burnt out so too I expected the shadows.
but after the heartache I still feel the burn of no goodbyes and hellos.
still I feel the lack of care
I feel something that wasn’t ever there.
Oct 2018 · 277
after-image
Oskar Erikson Oct 2018
my heart belongs to someone you
once were;
but my body lies with someone
that couldn’t be you.
Oct 2018 · 148
sunk
Oskar Erikson Oct 2018
all of this love
is sunk
and i can’t dive deep enough.
Oskar Erikson Sep 2018
we were watching the river drag away cigarette ash
the smoke rising into visions.
divining meaning was always hard
when eyes are blurry and clouded.
  "once there was a prince who fell in love with the sky.
  he never grew
  tired of his blue, grey, black, orange, ever-changing lover. till one
  day, he awoke but couldn't see, his eyes were clouded so he cried.
  he cried and cried and cried. the sky began to cry too.
  they washed out all the colours until the prince swore never
  to love again."
 the smoke clears and your face appears, teary-eyed with
 heartbreak written so sharp and jagged on your lips.
  "i'm tired of loving someone that won't love me back."
 i would have kissed you in all of your shattered pieces.
 but i didn't.
Sep 2018 · 459
a response to a non-answer
Oskar Erikson Sep 2018
these words that never found a mark.
said louder,

(i just want to connect)

and then louder.

which fall on non-interested ears.
Sep 2018 · 288
CPR
Oskar Erikson Sep 2018
CPR
breathe back into me that air you stole.
it's mine.
Sep 2018 · 205
school days
Oskar Erikson Sep 2018
(i)
you used to sit two seats away from me.
probably never realising the glances stolen
from behind notebooks and pencil cases.
i was happy to hear your laugh and the tapping of your feet, of your hands upon the table.
it was puppy love, it was my only.
the days you weren't there were the ones that lasted the longest
and the days you were, ironically, the fastest
i did not know how to switch the two.
but then you caught me.

(ii)
you used to sit a seat away from me.
with words that spoke softly now
and mutterings i no longer had to second guess.
to the crinkles in your eyes when you smiled
and the cuffs of your blazer a mess.
you rarely looked me in the eye
so i could never tell if you were listening but
i was just too happy to care.
but then you caught me.

(iii)
you are the gaps of my sentences.
and i am a memory you'd sooner forget.
Aug 2018 · 1.3k
Judgement
Oskar Erikson Aug 2018
“i knew it was a crime,
that i was
guilty of loving too hard.”
Aug 2018 · 790
you wanted to be alone
Oskar Erikson Aug 2018
i cried three times
in your bathroom.
once because you told me i'd never be first in your heart,
second because you knew i'd still try,
third because you told me to go,
but i didn't know how to say goodbye.
Aug 2018 · 190
respite
Oskar Erikson Aug 2018
take rest
beside my tongue
and i can tell you stories
only heartbroken lovers can tell.
Oskar Erikson Jul 2018
"you know, being able to grow with someone, or just being there watching someone grow is probably the closest explanation to love i've found during my very short time on earth."

"is it because it's a need? or a want?"

"it's neither i think. think of it like this, have you ever day dreamt about holding someones hand?"

"yes of course."

"what was that feeling, what made you prefer the dream to the day?"

"it's because i knew that it'd happen."

"there we go. because 'you knew'. all the love i've felt comes from the not knowing, or the knowing it'd never come, and to keep loving, even after the realisation, after the heartbreak, the pleading, bartering, sometimes there's just nothing you can do, but love without reciprocation."

"doesn't it hurt?"
"yeah. but love takes many forms. even if its not the one you want."
"i'm sorry."
"but i am not."
For anyone who feels like their love isn't meant to be,
its not to say you will never be loved.
maybe its because your type of love isn't meant to be.
but never stop growing.
Oskar Erikson Jul 2018
i breathe in the night sky while you linger elsewhere
in the murky mixture of white and red,
of black and blue.
my eyes transfixed upwards
and heart-tethered to you.
Jul 2018 · 407
it can get better
Jun 2018 · 388
staircases to cliff edges
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
i didn't expect to fall
as far as this.
landing feet first
into stifling silence
i never thought to learn how to swim by myself.
i will never know how to heal with you by my side.
i will stand at the precipice of my staircase
and watch the waves lap at the cliff edge.
Jun 2018 · 502
Truths at 2am
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
"i fell in love with the
person i deluded you into."
Jun 2018 · 291
Reaching
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
Shoot for the moon
miss and land among the stars.
Aimed for your heart
missed
and never got a chance
to restart.
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
I found between your fingertips the unknown.
The dark beauty that bleeds
otherworldly blood.
And as is with war torn lovers
mistaking red for green.
Left us both ruined
but you perhaps more so.
Jun 2018 · 438
i can see the moon now
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
i.
the waterways are leading me
to places i was too scared to adventure alone

ii.
one day this heart will heal
with this earth holding me up

iii.
one day all of these poems
will remind me of that empty feeling
of thinking about you.
Jun 2018 · 691
Reefs
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
the song in the whirlpool
with coral collarbone
i didn't mean to break you
we weren't made to be alone.
Jun 2018 · 216
Once all is said and done
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
Write to me
about the sun.

Even if we're over
and I'm not fine.

I'll live knowing
your sun can still shine.
Jun 2018 · 165
Incorrect inference
Oskar Erikson Jun 2018
I woke with you on my mind.
(but not on my lips)
I walked with your words.
(but not in your hand)
I slept with your goodbye in my ears.
(but not your good morning in my heart)
May 2018 · 322
it took too long
Oskar Erikson May 2018
To fall out of love
and learn
to live instead.
May 2018 · 313
i will take you with me
Oskar Erikson May 2018
its dragging my feet through the snow in an attempt to make the journey easier for those behind me.
not answering the hardest question because there is someone somewhere milling it over and will suddenly understand and bring joy.
about the late nights looking over balconies for the lady who i'm sure will one day look back and wave because she's lonely.

but i've never thought about such things.

instead the sun brings with it smiles and the clouds rain and scowls but come umbrella banter or parasol proddings the day has to pass.
it has to.
there's a beauty somewhere within your eyes and looking into them a little too long has left me with one of those purple rings that never want to stay in sight.
i guess you hide in them too.

which of course is fine. its a little lonely being the one who only looks.

come with me one day to the hill where the ground turns to the sky and the tree i fail to understand how it hasn't fallen.
come with me to the river that once i fell in and prayed for gills to swim away and find the sea.
come with me to my room where i can make you a bit more real.

you have given me your memory. i will take you with me.
May 2018 · 451
moment too late
Oskar Erikson May 2018
i
am born with an emptiness that is unable to be translated into words.
struggle
through nights without looking inwards for fear of never looking out.
without
knowing the best way to patch up this piecemeal pockmarked heart.
you
the planned escape route to run away with once it all turns to dust.

                                                  its funny how we always see the wrongs
                                                    just that moment too late.
May 2018 · 261
Duality
Oskar Erikson May 2018
i am more
broken
and
whole
than I will
ever
be.
Oskar Erikson Apr 2018
Kiss me
let the hunger run through your throat into mine, with eyes swallowing all that makes us different, with hands that can't be satisfied and hearts that won't stop beating
**** me
but leave the touching till dusk, with the simple words cutting cleaner, the silences, the looks, let the footsteps away do the talking never looking back and never say sorry
Love me
fists raised in the sunlight, as our legs wrap around bikes and our mouths each other, don't lead me astray without walking in your footsteps


Leave me
Oskar Erikson Apr 2018
after you have me gone?

i don't want to go
i can't  hold it
that long.
Apr 2018 · 330
I let my Old Dreams Die
Oskar Erikson Apr 2018
To make way for the New.
I don't often miss them;
but sometimes
I do.
Mar 2018 · 340
it's a catch 22 (10w)
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
That
i can only forget myself
once i remember
you.
Mar 2018 · 449
Art Galleries
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
Your
Kaleidoscopic, heart
Sent
Fractals, spinning
My
World apart.
Mar 2018 · 361
is there a greater pain
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
than being unable to forget
someone

who no longer thinks of
you.
Mar 2018 · 428
An Obvious Lie (5w)
Mar 2018 · 522
To speak for (10w)
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
only streetlamps
know the language
of Dusk.
and they flicker.
Mar 2018 · 247
Let the little birds fly
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
it's somewhat sad
when the distant skyline
can offer so little
healing.
and i have walked
along the sands
of Southbank. looking
for a reason
To stop or start feeling.
Mar 2018 · 636
stain (10w)
Oskar Erikson Mar 2018
you still cast shadows


even after you left me



alone.
Feb 2018 · 1.0k
Realisation (10w)
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
when all the memories
were in fact
nothing but dreams.
Feb 2018 · 354
pausing to exhale
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
i am living in

the gaps of your              sentences.
waiting on each
intake of                                 air
trying to figure out

the right time to                breathe.
Feb 2018 · 221
Test
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
I will
run in circles
*for someone
Feb 2018 · 244
Questions for No-One.
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
is spending more time
waiting than moving,
living?

If so:

is spending more time
remembering than making,
mourning?
Feb 2018 · 438
Blitzed (10w)
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
put my poems
into a blender
to
swallow
my pride.
Feb 2018 · 231
Fanged Conversations
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
does this Venom,
formed within your throat
come with
an Antidote?

one day,
i would like to Talk to you,
as my heart
never had a Chance to.
Feb 2018 · 617
J|U|S|T|I|F|I|C|A|T|I|O|N
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
"its as if the taste never leaves my open mouth"
"that kiss only coming about because leaping into your body was easier than crawling"
"and the need to breathe was so strong"
"with the mint smoke that rose into the sky surrounding and smothering"
"lips/neck/teeth/tongue"
"everything the eyes could swallow without fear of choking"
"because feeling complete was more important that simply living in distant agony."
            
                
                                            ---------- "Excuses"---------
Feb 2018 · 267
my friends suicide note
Oskar Erikson Feb 2018
was discovered
prematurely.

all the careful punctuality
consciously conceal within this
carelessly
placed note,
has allowed it to                         resonate
by
flushing the pain

out of organs

like they wanted donated once
                                                      they were gone.
Jan 2018 · 240
Simplicity
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
it's okay to not
feel the same way.

that does not mean

you have to feel the same way
to be okay.
Jan 2018 · 365
The briefest conversation
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
Take my feeling tongue
in your mouth.

tell it all the secrets you could never tell me.*

And Afterwards

all i will know
is the taste of
your unabashed tongue.
Jan 2018 · 385
*zone out*
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
putting my headphones
before my house keys.
       *it doesn't matter if I sleep rough

       as long as my head is drowned of thought...
    
       *that alone is enough.
Jan 2018 · 305
Under the lock (10w)
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
Vermillion scarred skin.
Your lips bring blood
back to me.
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
i would, I wouldn't, I could, I couldn't.
----------------------------
nights thrown away
casually
these
unrealising, unrepentant, ungrateful
hands.
ephemeral friendship.
and
the moon was snuffed out.
these hands.
---------------------------
give me a chance
to be alive with you
to have these reckless hands held
*once again.
Jan 2018 · 337
with this I release me.
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
it's 12:44 in the morning, which I guess really makes it 0:44am but I can only remember our argument over whether 24 beats 12. justification became second nature in dialogue not anything agreeable seemed to come out from our words. then again if agreeability was something I could relate too, i wouldn't be writing poetry. at least i sound somewhat honest. its relatable i know that much, it's rare not to find someone who hasn't  

spent the nights and mornings thinking about regrets- except you of course- and I'm hoping that this will be some sort of exorcism as i didn't let the frankenstien friendship die in my heart like it did in yours.

I'm still listening to the songs.
I'm still learning the words.
I'm still singing them by myself.
*so did anything really change.
Jan 2018 · 215
if only it was sooner
Oskar Erikson Jan 2018
I will write the poetry that could have saved
Me.
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