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Theres no going back to who we were,
I am a different breed of love, your cur…
I loved you once more,
You didn’t treat me *****…
So what left to lose now,
Our eternal pain somehow…
It’s more than letting go,
When memories a’flood, and glow.
What madness to think my own life,
To burden you to death, cheat me midwife…
It’s more than a pure grudge,
Your slave to sludge…
Funny thing you teach away,
Fondness of the heart forced at bay…
I’d like to think somewhere so it all works,
Deepening the worst wasted worlds, lurks?
Just know it wasn’t your fault -
Us lost in love? Our names found, souls exalt …
From listening to HEALTH & Nine Inch Nails, Isn’t Everyone.
Nickolas J McKee Oct 2021
I walk the rain,
Till dusk & night.
I tossed & turned,
All full of fright.
I waited long,
All just for you.
I hate to say,
We’re done & through.
What will you know,
Come time to fix.
It’s not our fault,
Our love to mix.
Let rain to drop -
I love you much.
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
A leech ***** blood,
As much parasites see…
Left carcass mud,
Rising my soul to be…
Jealousy round,
They know I’m a has been…
Places I’ve found,
Only I know happened...
Let them all talk,
Their bite marks in my skin...
I’m bored, they’re chalk,
Let lessons all begin…
**** me away,
Phallus to stay…
If people use you or let you down… tell them to  Keep Suckin’ On…
Nickolas J McKee Mar 2022
I cried today.
Riding the train ride,
Thinking of you…

Chills take over me,
Knowing you’re somewhere around,
But never to be found…

Will it be so,
My love to be sailed,
Love to renew…

Watching your tears fall,
Weeping the second I go…
So long of us and woe…

Summer sets I have wept,
Knowing you could’ve kept…
Nickolas J McKee Sep 2020
Birds will always be,
To spread & fly their wings.
The glory of birth,
Dear nature’s mothers sing.
Art takes time to grow,
Us as flowers to bloom.
Bewildered the wild,
Here for us to consume.
So inspiring,
The winds for me to tell.
Grooming trees to talk,
Grown tall to wish you well.
Let the sun set on,
Always new tomorrow.
I sacrificed true love,
hopes in finding a cure.
Snake used to be a dove,
skin shedding close so pure.
they said in time hearts heal,
I know this all a lie,
my heart was all a steal,
take my halved heart and try.
let dakness all reside,
it shields me from the pain.
fog and rain divine eyed,
at least not all again.
come last breath I am free,
relinquished or not be...
Resurrecting Angels, Daemons In Love With Tangles 14th Poetic Series By Nickolas J. McKee ⓒ 2024.
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
When they say to you,
“You haven’t found true love.”
You’re a liar of love.
When you’re made out to be something you’re not, you’re no better than a dove.
You’re a liar of love.
When you’re always angry,
When you want to push, pull, tear,
Shove - shove - shove!
You’re a liar of love.
When you know you don’t normally hate.
When you know you don’t normally judge…You’re a liar of love.
When it seems you want closure,
But nothing moves closer…
You’re a liar of love…
And I’m starting to not like it…

Maybe then… we’re all liars of love…
I will never forget the times we had,
Yes, things could’ve been better, and further.
What more can I say no longer all sad,
A heart restored, broken on back burner.
The ones who warn will always sacrifice,
Willingly not knowing what to enter.
We sometimes don’t know what will come at price,
In loving you lone, I a dementer.
Your feelings are valid just as all I,
The shadows are here as I haunt know.
Lo and behold? I don’t want a goodbye,
Your purities never too much to show.
God! Rage you must the chills come time the spined?
Locked memories no one will ever find…
How can you truly wish true love the best,
Lost years slipping away from our hands?
Betrayal, lies, deception a test,
Love turning blind darkness all commands…
For what is truth if not halve our hearts torn,
Leaving us scapegoats of wilderness?
Did not we share our desires all worn,
Only to never come and confess…
I can feel the pain brewing inside you,
An old soul will always have to know…
No, what comes in your life isn’t all new.
Your burdens are mine aching to show…
Whatever you go through I will be here,
Pushing my love away from you I fear…
Nickolas J McKee Apr 2022
She was the beauty of the South;
Now a spring equinox to shine.
      It was all hers:
The cows grazing in the distance,
     The old black tools of toiled trouble.

Her grace a twang from her dear mouth,
The love of Christ was hers and mine.
     Flowers to burrs -
Lord! - she was more than existence…
Her purpose was sure and humble.

Hers are the Heavens to make runs;
Her wings expanding of fine lace.
    Sun shining so?
Shine at the command of God’s word,
Fly… fly high beautiful spirit!

Fly high to leave behind your sons,
Never to forget your dear grace.
   For this I know:
Of her kind last words I have heard,
She told me to come back and visit…
Rest In Peace Mama T
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
What divided of our love
Was never torn from the sky
As much as wanted divide
We can’t help but to hear
And ask our angels why

Times felt now half soul left world
Not all of love is truly ours
Other souls intertwine and swirl

…With neither of us intertwined…

There’s something dark inside of you
As are mine

Not known to the world that is true
We are seen
Looked through

As if nothing really happened
Yet it did
And I don’t really want to know
All of your secrets…
For past love for you?
Some I must resign…
Nickolas J McKee Feb 2022
You’re the next Jesus Christ,
Waiting to be crucified,
Among your flock of sheep.
Blue eyes ready to slice,
I, your prophet beautified,
Heresy to stab deep.
Let’s gather around you,
To magnify your glory,
Nails to skin under glass.
Raindrops rising from dew,
Superficial & weary,
Ready the blinding mass.
Hosanna of the high,
Dare you me to deny…
Every dog has their day;
As a snake slithering on by.
What left will be to say;
What left economy not shy…
For whom can we protect;
When nothing not left all that said.
Each soul into night wreck;
Will be day by day all so bled…
Let so the flames fakes fourth;
For this will be tears all the joy.
Burning lies come time forth;
Burnt lies no longer to all coy…
What left to be enough,
No longer sinning… all rebuff…
Finally A’ Free
Nickolas J McKee Mar 2022
O’, how bitter howls the moon,
Reflecting sorrow as it shines,
Sublime, sublime,
till the days of sunrise…

The deepest pains, we wish loving gains…

…we hear you…

Of lovers’ crossings, we hear the lost sings…

…we are you…
Long ago they climbed
Promised to catch each other
Fallen death closed arms
Nickolas J McKee Sep 2020
When I dream of you,
Comes song,
Two country folk men come alive.
Tears of the song falls,
Of us,
Begging us more for simple time.
For I dream of you,
BanJoed,
Hearing the soft ballad of cards.
The playing of times,
Enticed,
Knowing you’re far apart in yards.
Here I dream of you,
Of song.
Nickolas J McKee Jan 2022
There have been days of darkness,
Talking to you.
There have been days of light.
In the end you will always be my friend,
And I hope to see you again.
A journey so is parlous,
Discovered true.
We’re birds ready for flight.
I pray Heaven your soul reaches the high,
Seeing you in happy tears shy.
For our days are never done,
No one to shun.
Coming so far to strive;
Journey of days alive.
For Aaron.
Nickolas J McKee Feb 2018
So adorable your longing,
I'm lost in this snow,
Knowing yours and your name,
Where is this love I cannot find?
A woe of us won,
Something yet to be known,
You away gone and away gone,
I know we are strong.
Us lost in this love on,
What of this paradox upon?
Forever are we,
The possibilities,
All endlessly so.
Of us lost in time longing on.
I know we just met, but tell me you're not a one to get away...
Sometimes we know what we should do at best,
Given God and time.
Peered pressured to let good go to the rest,
What say of true crime?
Fallibility believed what to do,
Learnt mistakes to know.
Wanting real lives that have all died too true,
They stalk lovers’ foe.
Scarred and scared, broken, wanting to act help,
Egos rise to die.
Called karma to God dying soon to welp,
Lover He loves Fae.
So known we’ve found regrets and lost reasons,
For they Say, “Only friends come in seasons.”
Finally A’ Free XV
It snows today
When you realize
They weren’t your true love
They mess it up for love
You debate and decide who
But seems nothing true
You lose again
Over to be
Over to all end
Until you find a friend
It seems nothing will be lost
But comes with a cost
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
Sorry I was dead
Back long from the grave as you…
We are here now love
It’s time to live on…
Nickolas J McKee Dec 2023
They loved and latched,
As I fail in love with his eyes.
Know God felt matched,
Demons today, angels surprise.
Forgotten Dae,
The ones all children should whisper.
“Hush, Child, Say!”
Lost lonely inner soul drifter.
Evil mate good,
Resurrection is always near…
What done or should?
Nay, haven’t you forgotten fear?
we are their fall,
tangles and all…
All coming soon in my 14th poetic series, humbled by yours truly. Thank you!
Heaven running into your arms,
Was always a deep blessing.
You have always bought loving charms,
Your peace a rising dressing.
I have met the love of my life,
Meditated by mortals.
Missing true loved ones of all strife,
I must face dept of portals.
Did I do this for him dying,
Knowing the other side on?
Knowing left what was all trying,
Here not left suffer a son?
What left a wanted will become,
A sacrifice worth to be done…
Resurrecting Angels, Daemons In Love With Tangles… XIV
Nickolas J McKee Dec 2021
Sometimes I say ‘hey’ to your ghost,
For it hurts me when I’m alone.
Silent black shadows to visit,
Yearning - aching distant the moan…
Of times I tried to talk to you,
it’s better to let you walk by.
Sometimes we ask ourself, ‘Whose gone?’
Never asking each other, ‘Why?’
Of cold lonesome hands to grasp on,
Miles away eternity.
Not to have the love we so need,
We shift and evolve deadly glee.
So what are you that I can see -
Lonely a ghost to let me be?
I seen you all before,
One too many times.
I fear not what’s in store,
While you hide the crimes.
Petty you, I shadows,
Your standard is failed.
Look up, there’s your gallows,
Dead bodies all wailed.
Your sins were never mine,
All in your dear head.
I no longer benign,
I already bled.
No more we are in sight,
Die alone your own blight…
Nickolas J McKee Nov 2020
I bide in the shadows,
Secretly writing your name.
An endless endeavor,
Never to be the same.
Cradled in times of sorrow,
I dare not long for you.
...Little time to borrow...
I hurt you to protect you,
Because I hurt myself.
...From this time it has flew...
Letting go is not enough,
So I wait in the dark.
...I know it will be rough...
Until I am seen again.
In case my last to say goodbye,
It all came from a broken heart.
Falling in love from being shy,
To rising high falling apart.
No, it wasn’t for false honor,
Nor suffering for all to start.
From time said, “He was a goner,”
Kissed love not spoken left to ****.
To be buried deep in maroon,
We pray not to sleep damnation.
Tears daring to hold back not soon,
What left to read but a raisin?
Old and clamoured not to tell them,
“I love you” - which lonely - seldom…
Finally A’ Free XV
Nickolas J McKee Apr 2018
Barely laid hands on blood,
No thicker than simple sweet water.
No love of theirs for mine,
Neither substances one another.
Here lost in my own void,
Our own wounds to accompany us.
Love to be on my side,
Lost these sheep turned over to the wolves.
Who am I to stand fall,
Defenseless to the whims, souls and wills,
How am I to abide,
Facing the demons, shadows and ills?
Watching the sheep and wolves,
Bleating and howling amoung the wolds.
Nature has a way of things. I realize now this force of nature as well.
Nickolas J McKee Nov 2020
So sweet the daffodils,
You placed upon my grave.
Thinking of us all timed,
Lost soul to you to save.
Darling, where were you, all,
So close to me of thine.
Floating, flying, the rose,
Away from a birthed vine.
You placed the wrong flowers,
Thinking you cared for me.
Hand sprouting from below,
Grabbed upon you to see.
So sweet the daffodils,
For you & me to share...
Nickolas J McKee Dec 2021
I see out a cave of wonders,
A wishing pain wanting away.
No matter the fool loved on stage,
He will suffer to earn a day.
What lost of the past a talent,
Forced a man a monkey to dance.
Seeking simple a life to live,
For children of his own to prance.
O’, can a God raise a lost soul,
To come again a life to find?
Must we let one to suffer so,
Depressed and alone of his time?
For when can we come out the cave,
Wished and wanted a soul to save?
Nickolas J McKee Feb 2022
I took him in,
At a young age.
So cute to me,
Turning our page.

Now…

Legality,
Watching him drown.
I to save him,
Then to let down.

So…

Rocking cradles,
All to debate.
Where are parents,
Of lonely fate?
Nickolas J McKee Jun 2018
The pages dripped,
As so the time of the lover.
What seemed so pure,
Gone the distant time another.
From tears to blood,
Pleased and fitted the seeking lines.
This writing love,
Above all the pure soul he whines.
Somberly eased,
One seeks a fine place to rest on.
Of all chastised,
Left a soul requited and blessed.
Run forgiveness,
Placed heavenly upon his chest.
What you know...
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
The days I yearn for you
Are like orchids
Without water

Summers burning of heat
Heart lusting none
Burnt through and through

I dare not where you are
In time I’ll find
Our dreams come true

Pumping you of our seeds
Filling baskets
You a father…
I’m conflicted with you…
Nickolas J McKee Dec 2020
Let the tables turn,
Lost & earned.
Forcing our love apart.
Let the eagles fly,
Love denied...
All seeking hearts to nest.
Enraptured the dove,
Claws mouthed shoved,
There goes your nourishment.
For nature is blamed,
To share shame,
Of the ones we lost most.
Tables all to turn,
What can earn?
Tables to Turn...
Nickolas J McKee Oct 2023
Of darkness to unfold,
I know where the boats go.
Tales that shouldn’t be told,
Of souls, demons told, “No.”
Where forth the demons bayed,
No other place love shown.
Forced evil seen and slayed,
Darkness is where I go.
Finding nights of terror,
Tears lingering unknown.
Knowing you of all things,
Let gone, a deathly glow…
Wincing and knocking, no…
A rattle and tattle,
Death dark and all alone…
The wind felt breezed and cold,
The chilling breath spirit.
Not known… till screeching end…
This all too conclude so,
Tales that shouldn’t be told…
You were always such a little ****,
Given and gotten all the luck.
Not ours and finding our lovely mutt,
No worries, we’ll be worth more muck.
Your imagination worth all pumps,
You leave those scattered in the dirt.
Then they end up just your messed up dumps,
As you blame others while you hurt.
So happy never bearing children,
By you such an empty storm close.
Burning like a chilling cauldron,
Smell burning flesh In your own nose.
Lakes to lands, all tainted their revenge,
Will walk the lost souls all left strenge.
Resurrecting Angels, Daemons In Love With Tangles 14th Poetic Series By Nickolas J. McKee ⓒ 2024.
First love eyes and teeth
Nothing bad about sorry
When it’s all too late
Nickolas J McKee Jul 2018
Seeing you all brawled up,
Gets the best of me.
Don't know why in this life,
Seeing your beauty.
All fixed bruises and scars,
Forced for me to care.
Poisoning white devils,
For the fallen ones.
I to rise in it all,
Till fixed seasons come.
The best of my conscious,
Luring a dark void.
Hoping to swallow me,
The best of me whole.
If only the loving demons could go away...leaving me finally alone.
Nickolas J McKee Apr 2022
You shake and tremble inside,
As howling pierces through the stain glass.
For you have ran from the devil’s ride,
His born demon growling after your ***…

As you have made it through the chapel door,
You pray the lock keeps you safe and warm.
Your soul shakes and rattles to the core,
Around you your love is torn.

What is left of candlelight,
Forces you to fret among the pews.
For no one can save your soul tonight,
Bleeding outside your lover’s heart he chews…

Thunder strikes the cross to fall and crack down,
You choke and pray your dear rosary.
Your screams beg to awaken the town,
Asleep they are, Wolfberry.

So sweet the taste a wolf wants,
And sweet the taste the wolf will get too.
Scratching and clawing the wood it haunts,
Just a couple more seconds to get through.

Tackled down the door revealing the moon,
The death of darkness has fixed red eyes.
Your blood to the beast is not immune,
He latches on your demise…
Nickolas J McKee Jan 2022
Do you love the grit of my teeth,
True caressing sweet nature,
Slowly engulfing you…
Love‘s venom taking over us,
Never to let you go free,
Nor leave a simple clue…
Symphonies of dreams distorted,
No one to crave you but thee,
Savings for catacombs…
Who to find you of buried love,
Your skin melting of ***** wealth,
Reeking of ****** pomes…
Shake alive your casket of limbs…
Of ground the crying violins…
Nickolas J McKee Nov 2020
I missed your touch,
When you walked out the door.
Left me behind,
With Joe & little Flore.
You said no more,
Broken bottles & cans.
Torn wedding pics,
Us aisled among sands.
Wondered a child,
“Where is mommy to be?”
Small words to say,
“You’ll have to wait & see...”
We miss your touch,
Us longing on these eves...
Left behind a broken home...
Nickolas J McKee Jul 2018
What a dream of writers,
Upon its grand galore?
Lifting hands upon Poe,
To ask forever more?
An Ernest near his sea,
Of Dante’s own heaven.
Fun to see Angelou,
With The loved Whitman be.  
My dear Plath of saving,
Nestled on her pillows.
So pleased to see the Frost,
Odd this time of willows.
Pleased my own time of miles,
A spirit dream of niles.
For all Times...
Nickolas J McKee Jan 2022
Could it be you,
To end my days lost in blunder?
Your saving grace afar,
A hope so loving of wonder?
Miles the ocean,
Of sacred waters to whisper…
You hold a key so dear,
I longing to be your kisser.
Sands of your home,
Cradles the loveliest treasures.
O’, all gold to unfold,
Unlock my heart for your pleasures.
Of golden shore,
You are worth more!
To Jesus…
Nickolas J McKee Nov 2021
From Seas,
Her name will hold holy fire.
She will be the first empress,
Rome’s desire…
Of Lands,
Words of wisdom will all flow.
Doves will fly of the dear sky,
Light to glow!
By love,
The conclave of people so,
Will not deny her beauty.
Psalms will fro…
“Popess!”
For souls will chant…chant…to see…
Nickolas J McKee Aug 2023
I remember our song long ago
Far along the distant alley
We were the last long lights
Of night
The contemplation of pleasures
Leaving us ignoring us
Of flight

Never knowing the distant eternities
The falling feathers of our sky
Never long
Some asking why

And then I thought of you…
My long aching pain…
Never the same…

For this is why we die…
Nickolas J McKee Feb 2022
Sorry I had to.
I couldn’t hurt ya’ll again…
It’s time I moved on.
Nickolas J McKee Feb 2022
I honestly don’t think you deserve Heaven,
Neither do I…
As you fornicate with the seven,
I am chastised alone to cry…
Sobriety is a made up playground high,
God is some fun.
The Devil sees your love losing by,
For soon in time I will be done…
One by one the seven of lust will die too,
Leaving you dry…
What left of our lives tales told taboo,
No… we are not meant for the hellholes of so…
So lonely the soul never to you to know…
Nickolas J McKee Oct 2023
I have to lock you up again
Because if I speak of you
I will lose you
Like many times before
And again and again
I know I won’t lose you
But it’s my heart always
Lying to me of what’s in store…
And this gold key I dearly hold
With an age old locket my golden friend…
Time is irrelevant,
Nature all decided.
man can live in a tent,
wisdom is roof guided.
hand weaker all to take,
Loved ladies to call grace?
will it be loyal Jake,
awaken trained in place?
not once, but twice i died,
to come back strong alive.
rattled a third time cried,
no foul down nature strive.
destined fangs or their bite,
They know not fated night.
Resurrecting Angels, Daemons In Love With Tangles 14th Poetic Series By Nickolas J. McKee ⓒ 2024.
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