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Kalliope Aug 19
You're an hour behind
And I'm an hour ahead
We never could meet at the right time
I'll bust my clock to wait for you tho
Kalliope Feb 2019
Deeper and deeper the further I go
There's no light around me
No room left to grow
My mind is uncertain
My heart set in stone
Deeper and deeper and further from home
Kalliope Nov 22
I find solace in the quiet,
And see comfort in the loss.

I need to sit and contemplate with my own thoughts.

I'm easily persuaded
Then my mind gets all mixed up
I like it better lonely, it's being together that's tough.
Perhaps I don't have a soul mate
The only love I need is mine
Maybe I should focus on that
Instead of making love poems rhyme
Kalliope Jan 2021
How do you learn to be alone
When you were with me
For all my milestones
How do you move on
When the pain
Is so intertwined
With the pleasure
How do you leave
When what your heart wants
Is to stay
How do you stay when you know that you can't
Kalliope Sep 7
Your sun has set,
And my butterflies flew away
But even under your moon,
I'm drawn to you like a moth to a flame
Your flame so bright,
With a purplish hue,
I'll try every night,
To get closer to you
27
Kalliope Oct 11
27
Another year living, another day gone,
The past isn't giving the wisdom I want.

I'm searching for answers, I lay in the rain, I stare at the moon while I'm begging for change.

My face is now creased, from years of worry, I laugh at my young wish to grow up in a hurry.

The right answers never come, I grieve over wrong choices, I'll stay in my bed berated by these voices.

And it's October, but the leaves are still green, the seasons aren't seasons and I am not me.

Twenty seven I might be, but fourteen I still feel, I look at the life I've built but none of it seems real.
Happy Birthday to you, they shout in my room, but it's just a Friday, and I'm losing my youth.
Kalliope Sep 8
I day dream you know,
Of better days and other ways conversations should have went. I say words with passion that will never leave my lips, spend money I'll never make, experience a life I'll never live, all from my head. I've built the same house since I was 14 looking out rainy windows, so real I can smell the fresh coat of paint on the living room walls. I've planned the same wedding since I was 16 at midnight staring up at my ceiling, so real I can feel the tears on my cheek while reciting my vows. But I'm 26 and I'm scared of failure so I don't try, the fear so real I can feel myself daydreaming my life away.
And everything goes right in my head
And I don't make mistakes
My front door's painted red
And I succeed at every risk I take
Kalliope Aug 17
I'm restless
I'm aching
I want you to text me

I'm texting
I'm pacing
I want you to text me

I'm staring
I'm crying
I want you to text me

I'm shaking
I'm numb
You're not gonna text me
Yet I keep texting you
Kalliope Aug 21
Everywhere I look for you
I find you
Pull you out of thin air
Bringing you back to me
In all my activities
I find you
A username on a screen
A fleck of purple where it shouldn't be
Your phrases through strangers lips
In and out my heart while it beats
And worst part of it all,
I'm not even searching anymore
Kalliope Oct 2
It's the first snow during the last year you believe in Christmas magic,
It's the desire to watch the tornado form even though the storm is heavy,
It's 9 am on the first fall morning of your freshman year of high-school,
It's your favorite sweater fresh out of the dryer,
It's the warmth from your mug of coffee radiating to your palms at 5 am,
It's the last laugh at your first slumber party before you fall asleep,
It's the sun creeping over the trees,
It's the sound of your Playstation starting up after a 3 month hiatus,
It's Thursday,
It's orange sun rays warming my skin,
It's a thick navy blue university that you never went to sweater,
It's fuzzy slippers,
It's Holiday themed squishmallows,
It's potato soup that your mom makes on Sunday,
It's cookie dough ice cream at midnight,
It's a warm cinnamon roll in the morning,
It's the number 22,
It's the way that when I close my eyes all I think of is you.
My feelings for you I can't describe,
But reading these instances you'll get the vibe,
It's just too simple to say I feel safe,
But in your arms I've found my place.
Kalliope Oct 2018
You can be full of life
Bursting with it
Growing hope inside you
Nauseous with happiness
Heart beating with uncertainty

It takes 5 minutes to strip it away
One choice
One decision
To throw you into a lifetime of
Pain and over thinking
Little sacrifices cause big waves
Kalliope Oct 18
Passive aggressive, can't be too firm,
This anger inside me I've carried since birth.
I say what I mean but then laugh at the end
You don't think I'm serious, and my mind starts to bend.
Can't be too forward,
Sarcasm my favorite weapon, maybe if I said it straight I wouldn't always end up mad again.

Aggressively passive, I've given up hope, no point in giving a **** when you're taken as a joke.
Why argue my point when you're blind to my mind?
I get better and better at keeping the anger inside.
Go with the flow is too gentle a phrase, for the ***** I don't give the more that I age.
People will come and those people will go, no longer will I cry and let my soul feel hope.
And I'm ****** if I do
Definitely ****** if I don't,
But I can handle being ******
Simply because I won't
Kalliope Apr 2018
Large doses of you
Were never good for me,
But, I've always loved to
Push my limits.
Kalliope Aug 3
I just want someone to look at me
To see me,
For all that I am
Look AT me-
Not through me
And past where I stand

I just want someone to know me,
To feel me,
To want who I am

And for a second,
Quite briefly,
I think our eyes met
And that scared me so bad
I immediately left
I crave quiet understanding
But the chaos is too loud
Once I was finally seen
The fear took all my sound
Kalliope Aug 27
I wasn't meant to love you, no I don't believe in fate. But here I am anyway, convincing myself it wasn't great.
I'm failing, you know, to see you in any other light, I just lay here wishing we could've had one more night.
Your voice was always soothing, and coaxed words out of me unsaid, and now I'm left here desperately trying to pull you from my head.
Your touch I never felt, but my skin will swear I did, your soul reached out to hug me while mine ran and hid.
You don't do second chances, and I never win on the first try, your words are always cold now and all I do is cry.  
My heart breaks that we got here, even though it's my fault, and as I erase our memories, there are a few I'll store in my vault
I think this is goodbye my sweet boy
Kalliope Sep 8
I'm not good with money, a budget never could manage me, I hate when it's sunny, I prefer rain and a breeze.

I can be silent for days on end, can't even bring myself to sing, easily broken yet hard to bend, my mind is a stubborn thing.

Sometimes I get lost way too deep in my thoughts, have fun trying to guide me away, and I'm sensitive too don't yell in my room, it'll just activate the rage.

And God I get mean, inconsiderate and spiteful, with nowhere to lean, I'll feel my anger is rightful.

My hair clogs the drain, it's long and disarray, you won't get my brain, I cry like every other day.

I can't do my makeup, my eyelids don't shine gold, I'll threaten a break up, the second I feel you're cold.

I'll have the last word, everytime we disagree, I don't know if you've heard, but you shouldn't love me.
And Sweet boy I love you
But I'm a real mess
If I focus on the bad
It causes less distress
I can't focus on our good
When I'm trying to lay us to rest
Kalliope Mar 2018
I'm sorry I didn't understand how to love slowly,
It's a shame you didn't have the patience to show me.
Kalliope Nov 13
If it's not you, it's definitely me
I'll take the blame, I'll be the bee
You brought a flame, I stung your knee

You started to glow, I watched where you went
I got scared, my anger spent
Now you're injured, and I can't vent
If I was a bee
You were a firefly
You showed me your light
And I showed you the rage inside
Kalliope Apr 2018
I was familiar with rough hands but I'll never forget how gentle she was when she touched me
Kalliope Sep 4
A constant reminder of the love we once shared,
That's no longer there
Personified in the form of a little person,
A little bit of me and a lot a bit of you,
I love watching her figure out what all she can do
Stubborn and curious ,
I wonder if she'll grow to be like you, always furious
So I shower her with love and affection and attention
And shield her from our past, the things we do not mention
You find fault in every role I take,
As a partner you ******, but as a dad I think you're great
A confusing place to be, to hate the man your daughter adores
But I push through and only cry behind closed doors
The greatest gift you gave me
Was our daughter for sure
But the permanent connection with you
I could've gone without
Kalliope Aug 25
I grab a brush,
Just to ruin the painting

And with my pen,
I'll disrupt the flow

When I open my mouth,
I butcher the chorus

And I only spew facts,
Everyone already knows

A walking disaster,
Filled with good intent

Busting through walls,
Instead of being let in

Happy to be here,
Not knowing when to leave

Mistake after mistake,
Never stopping to just breathe
I wouldn't hold my hand either
Kalliope Nov 14
When I hold your hand
For a second I'm complete
And talking comes so easy
But to listen is defeat.

I need it all at my pace
And it's not fair to you
I know that you'll keep trying
But there's not much you can do.

Trust is a fickle thing
And I didn't realize I had an issue
I'm damaged more than I ever thought
You're a gentle soul and I will miss you.

The patience I require
Is an amount I can't even give
You're better off going elsewhere
You have a whole life to live.
And I can't be your one great love
When I'm not great at love at all
You'll find someone who makes you laugh
And you'll forget me while you fall
Kalliope Jan 2019
The new year is never happy for me
It marks a new year without you
Another month without a gathering
Another week without a lunch outing
And another day without a phone call

I talk to you still
Less often than when you first left
But every new year I'm sure to catch you up
The kids have gotten so big
My parents have finally matured

I've finally grown up
Can make responsible decisions
Not living purely on my emotions
All of this growth stems from you

It hurts my heart knowing you'll never see any of it
You exist one minute and are nothing the next
Kalliope May 15
I found a seashell next to your picture today.
I'm not sure how it got out of its jar
I'd like to think you moved it there.
That was your way of letting me know everything's okay
And that it's been a while since I talked to you last
Kalliope Oct 2018
I feel you trying to love me
I see the effort
I feel the effort
It hurts my heart
I'm too ashamed
Too many skeletons
Too many sins
More secrets than I'd care to share
I think you'd accept me
Take me as I am
The issue isn't you
I'm ashamed to be so
Stained
Standing next to your
Immaculate existence
You know when someone deserves better
Kalliope Aug 15
The feelings I feel are so confusing to me
No matter what I do I can't make them leave
They hit me and yell and scratch till I bleed
Always around, bringing me to my knees
I feel them in my skin, they buzz in my brain
Mentally I'm in the street laid out in the rain
They rip out my nails and tap dents in my collar bones,
Force me back to my room where I just lay all alone,
Darken my eyes, drain the color from my face
The creature now in the mirror I look at with disgrace
And I can't make it stop
And I don't know that I want too
A feeling is a feeling
I should be grateful to feel at all
Kalliope Nov 4
I'd keep the walls down but
Everytime I let hope remove the bricks
I take arrows to my chest.

I think it might be best
To keep the concrete high
And nurse my wounds in private this time.
My fingers are calloused
My skin is burned
My thoughts now are malice
From the patterns I've learned
Kalliope Oct 2018
With heavy eyes
And stiff bones
I say goodbye
To what was once
A home
I am afraid
I have to go
A brand new road
To be travelled alone
I won't forgot
All those good times
We had on late nights
And cheap moonshine
In my heart
I'll forever hold
As I say goodbye
To who was once a home
Your freckle placements are forever etched into my mind
Kalliope Apr 2018
If you broke my arm
I'd still ask you to sign my cast,
And that is why
I must go.
Kalliope Sep 10
I hang onto your every last word like it's the last bus home at midnight but the driver is inconsistent and now I'm stranded.
Do I wait under the flickering lights
Or
Do I start my walk home alone
Kalliope Aug 27
You say I avoid love but really I crave it, a fearful heart unknowingly doomed,
But I'd rearrange the stars and leash the moon, at the chance for another lifetime with you.
But the Oracle has spoke, and the Fates don't change their mind. Bold of me to assume Lachesis would be kind.
I don't believe in fate, spent my life running away, Clotho finds it funny,
Atropos ready for my dying day.
And with the blanket woven
A destiny set in stone
I denounce the Fates
I will not end up alone
Kalliope Oct 28
Only worth what I can give, never allowed to be seen,
I tend their wounds and clean their rooms, but no one's concerned about me.
Money to borrow, chores to be done, tears to be wiped, words to be sung.
And I like to do it, but I'm all worn out
I can't keep on giving when I'm left out.
But I'm talked over, my words not worth your ears,
And my hands are unseen, unless alleviating others fears.
I've asked for help, and patience, and time, but I'm told that's life and I should step back in line.
If your cup was empty I'd give you half,
But I've filled so many cups,
And no one's filled mine back
Kalliope Aug 30
I trace your name on my collar bone,
It feels good on my skin.
Craving you this badly,
Will be my lifelong sin.
It feels so good
To hurt this bad
Kalliope Aug 17
I poured out my heart
But your cup was gone
Now I'm left all over the floor
I'm always too late
Kalliope Aug 21
I can't tell if you're the
Oxygen
Sustaining my life
Or maybe you're the
Carbon
Trying to take it
Either way
It's time to get you out my system
Kalliope Aug 26
I've been a thousand women
For a handful of men,
Each act greater than the last
But never enough for an encore.

At the end of the night
When I take off my mask,
Ready to be the one they fall for,
It's only emotional baggage left.

So I'll pack it up
And put it away neatly,
In case they ever return,
And I'll yearn
And I'll wish
And I'll dream
For someone to WANT to
Want to be with me
I want to be wanted
But scared to be seen
I think truly I know
What that means in the end for me
Kalliope Oct 2018
I'm stuck in my head
Can't get out of bed
You leave me on read
You don't care what I said

I can't feel love
Not even heaven above
Your hearts I will shove
I'm someone to dispose of

It's all good and well
My hopes have all fell
My soul I will sell
I'm going to hell
Some deals are made to stop pain
Kalliope Apr 2018
She spent so many nights wiping off smeared make up she won't even put it on anymore
Kalliope Aug 30
And like a kid clumsily sneaking through the house in the dark,
you awakened all of my senses,
turned on every light of my heart,
making messes all along your path.
I'm turning the lights off
And cleaning up after you
It's a slow process
But I swear the lights
Keep coming back on
Kalliope Sep 9
These feelings flow out of the corners of my eyes like river rapids and pool all around me. Every time I think I can come up for air I start to drown again. And I'm searching for anything to keep me afloat but all I see is you, and the waves come crashing again.
A place once so safe,
A person made a home,
Now cold as a wraith,
Leaving me alone.
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
Kalliope Aug 26
Familiar but distant
Different yet the same
I can't believe you still have that t-shirt,
What's made you come around again?
Time has aged your face
But your eyes haven't changed
And I can't look away
Kalliope Dec 3
Do I go crazy or have I always been here?
Chaos is the comfort, the peace causes panic
None of it makes sense,
Could I be going manic?
I'm craving a quiet mind,
No thoughts, no racing to save the day, But when I find that comfort?
My insides are in complete disarray
And do you think I'm crazy?
Have I ever been okay?
I guess it doesn't matter,
I'll do something crazy either way
Kalliope Apr 2018
Each time you call me dumb
I believe you
a little bit more.
I'm dumb
for loving someone
Who is not capable of
loving me back.
Ego
Kalliope Dec 3
Ego
I don't want to be weak,
Can't let you know I need you.
'Cause I've never needed,
Only provided.
And the power you hold?
Keeps my brain and heart divided.
He's just a man
That's all he is
But when he laughs
I want to be his
Kalliope Apr 2019
I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever
I don't feel your fingerprints anymore
Kalliope Apr 2018
I've shown you all my favorite things,
But you never remember.

I could tell you something yesterday
And you'd act like it had been forever.
You don't remember trivial things about people you don't love.
Kalliope Aug 17
The best mug in the cabinet
Sits on the middle shelf
Everyone always grabs it
Rarely left to itself
The handle fits perfect
Though increasingly worn
Held in palms to reflect
With liquid so warm
A once beautiful design now a chipped away after thought
Kalliope Sep 6
It was all real
For a moment
And I was sad
When I woke
But happy to have
Spent an hour with you
Even in the shortest naps
I live lifetimes with you
Kalliope Jul 10
You're like fireflies in July
The air is thick
The night is dark
Your light mesmerizing me from where I stand
I'll try all night to catch up
Quietly moving through the dark
Waiting to see your glow beside me
But I'm too clumsy
And I am not quiet
And you're always five steps ahead
I'll try again tomorrow night
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