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dorian green Jul 25
drinking alone, smoking,
playing dead, overthinking,
a psyche made of bad habits
and a stomach that's always sinking.
this is the summer of silhouette,
laying in the shade, apathetic slumber,
the figure of a man in the background,
counting my ribs and fearing the number.
i go transparent in the sunset -
the sickness is tangible, apparent,
just as i knew, feared -
it's buried in my chest, inherent.
i can't get better when
it's just paper mache and cigarettes;
i pray and pray and pray
but no one's heard me yet.
Bethany Sep 2020
now it’s broken bliss,
as my blood pours over from yesterday.
never finding solace from god,
he tore my flesh away.
E Apr 2020
Pictures can only hold so much
It doesn't mask the difference from a kid to a man,
From aggressive behavior to tame
Nor does it show my inability, and pain.
Looking at him then
Shows immaturity and lack of awareness.
Bound to heavy weight of trauma and insecurity.
Yet not seen resolved
Only to make more involved.
He was and if not
As bad as the one who cut his throat so deep
He couldn't find himself enough to speak.
He would then damage others who never deserved the baggage.
Reflecting on the pain i caused others. Also experimenting with my poetry to not use "i" so much !!
TMReed Nov 2019
‘Side my castle of creation
queries ‘trench their tangled teeth
‘to the skin of ideations
left by my kindly hearth to sleep.

Barbaric! Fixing little ones,
woken from their tender dreams,
as trophies ‘top their flags of war,
proud to wave their silent screams.

Drag me, ruthless, from my chamber!
Throw me, forceful, ‘pon the ground!
Show me, lifeless, cased in embers!
Pour me, endless, blood to drown!

Look, they shout, amongst the ashes!
N' ****** my face into the bones.  
Cradled in their kind-less caskets,
ugly truths I’d always known.  

Now ‘lone I sit in contemplation,
scared on stony perch to find,
‘side this castle of creation,
hope to ease my loveless mind.
Remarkable—is it not—how tired predilections bleed.
Kimberley Apr 2020
i wrote about the beauty of his lips
and the lies which flowed from them
he's the type of man you can't stay away from
you know you need to
have to
want to
but can't
he's the type of man to manipulate first and love second
he's the type of man you fall inlove with
even when you shouldn't
Alvira Perdita Dec 2018
old habits approach me like dealers
in the darkness. their faces hidden by shadow,
their intentions vivid as they whisper
wonderful promises of release,
of escape and of freedom.

i tell them no, push them away,
i attempt to stray towards the light.
they grab my wrist and spin me around,
holding tight as they look me in they eyes
and whisper "you're not going anywhere".

i try to hold out, but the fear is building
up inside, and i'm not sure if i am strong enough
to fight back, to win this constant battle.
i want to scream for help, i want to cry out
in desperation, but i am drowning.
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
two indigo eyes Oct 2018
You say i'll never be secure
I'll always be the one jealous of her.
I think she's just who you'd prefer.
You only see skin color. I'm pale and thinner.
Maybe if I was thicker, hair was longer,
You wouldn't long for her.
Or have me thinking im mediocre and crying all October.
I was hoping our memories would hold you over.
It's my birthday, no reason to stay sober.
Try to remember me before
I made mistakes, i just wanted to explore.
I got ahead of myself, i wandered too far.
Fell from a cliff tryin to get my **** licked.
Lost my inocence, then got lost in your forest.
Wanted to climb sequoias, now all I gots a toothpick,
and kindling, but I cant keep our flame lit.
so my hearts ripped and my minds split.
Do I choose love, do I choose happiness?
Do I walk away? i wont hear the end of it
My heart knows what my mind dont admit.
I could drive myself crazy, loosing my whits.
So i walk slow follow the signals, see it from your angle, stare out my window, watch the smoke flow.
I never wanna see you go as easily as this wind blows my clouds low, away from my home.
Try to grasp it, but it slips through my hold.
Always felt like you broke the mold.
Everyone before you was placebo, you were my libido.
Turned me into a loving creature, instead of who I am now, feral with fever. ******* for leisure, smoking until I cant see clear.
Wish I could go back to who you knew last year.
Emma Sep 2018
Vices, circling tighter.
I have slid back into them like a hand into a dish glove,
Only to find lingering soapy water in the fingers.
They don’t do what I want them to do,
Don’t relieve my misery as I had hoped.
And I burn burn burn like a circle of hell,
While trapped in my own ring of fire.
I think about you.
But that’s not enough either.
What is?
The chains get a better hold of me.
I take a deep breath
and let myself be pulled under.
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