I've got pictures living in my phone
Of people I haven't checked on in years,
It's weird how long I've been alone.

My heart a hearth with endless fire,
They always return when they're cold
And I'll give and I'll give,
I have heat to share
But now I feel ice in my bones

It's a shame you don't understand
***,
How unfortunate that I can't understand
Love.

I say I attract toxic,
Deep down I think
I crave it.

She wants me to fail, and I know it.
I'm too intoxicated by her presence to care.

His love was,
Soft like the rain on a foggy morning,
Mesmerizing like a summertime sunrise,
Calming like a cool breeze through the autumn trees,
Safe like your favorite blanket after a scary movie,
Warm like holding your favorite mug full of tea in your hands,
And it was mine,
Until it wasn't.

I can't remember your name but I remember how wrong it felt to let you inside me

I've begged for you for so long
There's a hole in my carpet
And bruises on my knees
But it doesn't feel wrong

I can't stand you unless you're between my legs.
It's not love but can we just pretend a little longer?

Somewhere between yes and no
Where the sky is purple
And the water so still
The grass grows tall
And it sways in the wind
I could stay here forever
My dress flowing in the breeze
Your gaze holding mine
But I can't build a life on maybe
And neither can you
But who's going to
Look away first

Everyday I come home
I eat dinner at
My table of selfpity
To watch old memories play on
My television of self doubt
Showering in jealousy and hate
Finally forcing sleep on
My bed of loneliness

Whenever I flip my lucky cigarette
I always wish for you.

What if I loved
But didn't get obsessed
You like em crazy
And let me undress
But I got too comfy
So blessed in your presence
Now I feel like I'm dying
Drowned in your absence
And I'll call and I'll call
You don't even care
The love you claimed to feel
Was never ******* there
But I fell for you anyway
You became the moon
An all consuming enigma
Gone way too soon
But you'll give me breadcrumbs
And I'll wait here for dinner
You laugh at my pain
I guess at least heartbreak makes me thinner

One man today, another man tomorrow
To have been mixed up with you
Gave me everlasting sorrow
For the time that I spent and the tears that I wept
Always making sure your heart and house were well kept
The mean you that I hated, the goofy you that I loved
I'm not sure how the two coincide or if you were ever in love
Compassion for you I still carry but the anger never goes away, I wonder if I'll ever heal from you, this pain likes to stay.

I hope your new life is free
Cool breezes
No stress
I hope you stretch your legs
With no worries
Your pond full of shrimp
Your heart full
I bet your feathers
Are positively pink
And always fluffed
Admiring your admirers
And I hope you know
While you hangout with your flamingo flock
Forgotten, you are not

I wore my heart on my sleeve
For way too many years
And now she is tattered and torn

I still ball up the shreds
And hand them to men
In hopes she won't come back worse

A word used only to be polite.
You don't love her if you think she's "nice"

Sometimes when I drink coffee I find myself missing you,
So sometimes I don't drink coffee.

Better off now than I ever was
Better space, better place

Richer now than I ever was
Richer space, richer place

Safer now than I ever was
Safer space, safer place

Lonelier now than I ever was
Lonely space, lonely place

Just a pen and a cap
Made perfectly for each other
Fitting together tightly
But the cap has been chewed on
And no longer fits

Heart is racing, skin on fire
Jittering buzzing pacing cussing
Hair is wild, eyes look crazy
Shaking crying mumbling breathing
Face is wet, chest is pounding
Screaming running hiding sobbing

Lonely and craving the feel of touch,
The electricity from skin to skin,
The magnetic pull from eye contact,
The I love yous and I miss yous.

But it's a craving best left unfed
To be touched is to be vulnerable and the electricity shocks my brain, the I love yous and I miss yous make me feel insane,
To look at me too long is to pick apart my flaws, and at the end of the day I'm better alone after all.

What do you do when you don't
Want to break a heart
But the heart in question
Cant actually be broken
Its a facade
Created to break you
Over and over
Again

Carefully removing posters from the wall
But the tape always catches
And rips at the edges,
Never careful enough

Once I wanted to be a party girl,
Now I just wanna be your girl.

There's an ache in my chest
That travels through my bones
I can't get any rest
I feel so alone

I feel like I could split open
Even bleed out on the floor
Would my eyes finally close then
Not feeling this pain anymore

I know it'll go away
I've felt this before
But it brings me so much shame
When I can't get off of the floor