I don't remember when she left
It was sudden
too sudden

I don't remember when she left
but the stiffness
the stillness
is burnt behind my eyes

I don't remember where she is
where she sleeps
where she lays
if the ground above her
is thick enough
warm enough
if it snows

I don't remember when they started replacing her
like grains of white sand
spilling out
everywhere
from her eyes
ears
skin
bones

I don't remember
when I forgot
who she was


I don't remember when I left

But Icarus even if you fell you touched the sun
You chased the light
But you never knew that the light could burn so harshly too
That those who’s the brightest burn the quickest

But oh Icarus even if you fell you flew
You flew with the wind blowing through your hair
and the sun kissing your skin
You flew with wings made of wax
and eyes too bright

And maybe that’s why the sun tried to embrace you
Because your heart burn even in the darkest of cold in the emptiness of the tower
Because you shine even in the night where even the sun couldn’t reach

But Icarus even if you fell you were remembered
Because even if you fell you burn so brightly

You laughed as your wings burn and melt
And as you fell back to the cold emptiness of the void the ocean the sea
You set the world on fire for just a second then

…but there’s always a certain tragedy
in setting the world alight

and watching it from the middle of the flames

It’s cold. It’s always cold. It’s not that simple cold that you feel on a winter’s day or the shiver when you drink a cold drink. It’s something hollow and empty. Like something's missing and it aches. It’s a soul deep cold and tiredness that you just can’t shake. Some of the time it’s just a small twinge, but some of the time it’s all consuming. It’s painful even. You feel like there’s a hole in your chest and you don’t know why. It isn’t like heartbreak, where the wound would eventually heal. There is nothing to heal from. It’s irrational, contradicting, and all the time you just feel this terrible terrible void that ***** in everything and anything,  leaving you a shell of your former self.

People only check your smiles, never your eyes, so it’s easy to deceive them. It’s easy to paint a smile on your face and laugh like nothing’s wrong. You’re too afraid  to ask for help because you know they would always just laugh at your face and said, “It’s your choice to stay sad, just cheer up!”, and you just laugh and shake your head like nothing’s wrong because they don’t understand and there’s nothing you can do. Say “I’m okay” to those who ask when in truth your screaming in your head for them to notice that somethings wrong because your at the end of your rope and god it hurts, and say “No, your not.” But it never happens, because they always try to avoid the painful truth, and then your left alone again, to fall, and fall, and fall.

The Dark King hides within shadows and fiends;
Injured in a fight the world has never seen.

The White King stands on a pillar cracked;
Proud but wounded begins his final act.

Neither can live while the other survives;
Both Kings fall as the Final Battle arrives.

New dawn comes as the new Kings rise;
Painted in red by the Old Kings demise.

Along the bustling roads
And throughout town
I wander alone on the streets
Like a ghost among crowds

All around I see friends,
grouped together like families
Oh, right, I almost forgot
It’s nearly christmas eve

Look around, all the happy faces
Cheerful, excited, hopeful
Things without meaning
At least, that is to me

They walk and talk
Run and hide and laugh
Blissfully unaware
Of the monochrome sky

Twilight, now
The road empty, the town quiet
I walk along the streets
Among lost spirits and lonely shadows

One, two, three, four
Go and hide and hide you do
I find you and you start to run
And I chase and chase and chase
But you catch me before I can try

Then you pull me under
Under the waves
the ocean
Bring me to the place
I’ve never known
Show me wonders you see
And the freedom you feel

Wander, and wander I do
Adrift the world
No goal in mind
Perhaps to find something that I can hang from
Something I can climb
Maybe see the world from above
Or perhaps under the blinds

Fire from the hearth
But now all that is left is embers
A gentle breeze
And the last warmth is gone
Replaced by the freezing cold
And the ghost that came along

Looking for a treasure
A gift with wings
One that can set me free
On which where hope's alight

Finally  I
Found it utop a tree
A necklace of rope
And the courage to fly

Perhaps,
sometimes,
we need some space,
silence,
some time alone.
But yet,
everytime I ask,
they laugh,
and laugh,
and jeeringly ask,
'What's wrong?'
Maybe I don't want to talk,
Maybe I don't need to talk;
Perhaps,
sometimes,
we just need space.

In the time of darkness,
The light remains.
Perhaps a flicker,
Almost in vain.
The hope it still gives,
The path it shows;
Even on the dawn of new eve,
Where the world nearly froze.
Neither can survive,
While the other dies.
The double-edged sword lives,
Thrives in deceit and lies;
But no one can stop
As the worlds collide.

Untold secrets and untold lies,
They thrive and live and die.
Withered and forgotten,
Waiting to get rotten.
With thousands underneath,
Truth is just as incomplete.

Layers of dust and dirt,
Simply to cover up the hurt.
Is there anything we know,
Other than the ones we're told?
How do we truly breathe,
When this world is full of deceit?

The restless souls
Dark and cold

Deep below ground
Secrets are found

Where memories sleep
The past shall reap

Life is a journey,
An adventure into the future,
A dive into the unknown,
Flying a plane with no route.

Life is a journey,
Meeting people on busy roads,
Asking for directions no one knows.
Or alone in the harsh wilderness,
With no help ever less.

Life is a journey,
A trip you must make,
Though not one that you can take
like a slice of cake.

But the end must come,
For another to start

Father time
Father time
please don’t run and leave
Can’t you stay
for just a tad longer please?

I can’t wait
I shan’t wait
Goodbye Goodbye
I’ve gotta run
I’ve gotta leave

Mother Fate
Mother Fate
Please spare me my life
Give me a year more
I’ve still got things left to do!

I’m sorry
I’m sorry
Awfully sorry
I need to do
What I got to do

Perhaps
Silence is what we need
And words
are simply
the sound of the universe

You can't save me
from the road I took
I've chosen mine
You've chosen yours
Our paths will never cross
like they used to before

I am me
You are you
We are nothing alike
nought day and night

Don't try to
fix what is broken
For that you are
but simply another

Stranger

Darkness
is the absence of light
but yet
Light did not
chase away the darkness
It engulfs it
And it returns
to silence

Light
is harsh
No
I do not
carve its embrace
Shadows are
my home
the only
who accepted me

Don't try to reach
For I
am too far gone

Beware
For the monster is loose
But don't you dare
Go searching for clues

Listen
For the end is near
And no one can escape
as Fate is clear

Under the sky
Where light shines
Shadows are cast
Time passes
But all you see is
simply the smile
covering the truth,
From those
weak in the mind
and the ones
who won't care

Earth turns and turns
Spins and spins
Season comes and goes
but yet to be seen
Burn away the mask
and see me
for who I am

Death is inevitable, but that doesn’t make it any easier to witness, especially when it’s someone you knew. A friend, a sibling, or even a lover. Tears don’t make you weak. No matter what others may tell you, caring is never a weakness.

Listen
To the whispers in the wind
The answer you seek
Is buried deep

Run
don't try to hide
light is shown
and shadows faded behind

I am a shadow,
a shadow of myself,
a shadow stalking the dark.  
Pulled into the void,
from the things I saw,
And the things I heard.

I am a shadow trapped within my mind,
a shadow trapped within itself.
A prisoned soul,
a broken mind,
an empty shell.
A wish to be whole,
but shattering into pieces.

People around me,
walk past without noticing me,
without noticing the burden I bear that tore myself apart.
No one sees the mask I wore,
no one notices the shadow trapped within,
no one cares,
no one really knows who I am.

Words,
pierces through me,
trying to hurt me.
Too much experience,
I am numb.
The rope, the rope
Is it my salvation,
The way to freedom?
To free myself from expectation,
Take away my burden,
Shatter the mask I cannot take off?
It won't hurt anymore, right?
After all,
No one will notice if I disappeared.
They don't care.

Things are so much clearer,
So much brighter,
So vibrant,
I’m soaring through the sky,
I’m free.