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Oct 9 · 43
depression is
blackbiird Oct 9

not always a frown.
sometimes it's a smile covered
by deceitful eyes.

not always a tear.
sometimes it's making everyone
else laugh while you hide your
tears in the shower.

not always that voice
in your head telling you
that you aren't worth it.
sometimes it's a loved one
saying "I'll never leave you."

not always shown widely
but is always felt deeply
by the one who carries it.

You never know what someone could be going through. Be Kind.
Oct 9 · 121
cynicism.
blackbiird Oct 9
Cut the cord
And rip out my
Heart
Like you do
Everytime you walk away.

At least my
Cynicism will be
There to greet me.
Sep 7 · 202
Your love for me is
Sep 6 · 117
depression...
Sep 4 · 301
letters to her ~ three
blackbiird Sep 4

where r u
where did u go
you left me...


when you said
you weren't going
to be like the rest...
u turned out
to be the...

same.

blackbiird Sep 3
Poetry feeds my soul
like a needle feeds the thread
upon which you have sewn
your ruby-colored letter A
across my heart,
marking the shame that
I must carry each time
you tell me you love me

and I’m a slave
to you.

there’s no release
no release from the
purgatory that you’ve
placed upon me.

Food for the soul
(I think maybe I am your slave).
Aug 27 · 1.1k
you never said sorry...
Aug 27 · 62
i am a ghost
blackbiird Aug 27
in this thing
called life
yet everyone
still tries
to make me
visible
just to
make me
d
di
dis
disa
disap
disapp
disappe
disappea
r
Jul 19 · 288
outside looking in
blackbiird Jul 19
do you ever see yourself
from the lens
of someone else
and marvel at
what you see
or do you paint a scenario
in your head
of what you would
change about yourself?
Jul 19 · 283
"sinking"
blackbiird Jul 19
i'm drowning but no one seems
to notice so i allow myself to succumb
to the cold, murky waters of the dark abyss
and everything goes quiet.
Jul 18 · 273
letters to her~ two
blackbiird Jul 18

i always wanna die
whenever you're away
from me
because you're the one
who gives me life.

please don't ever
stray from my sight
because i'm afraid i
might lose myself if you do.

Jul 17 · 318
letters to her ~ one
blackbiird Jul 17

I’m in love with you
And I don’t kow how to handle it.
All I know is that
I don’t want it to fade.

Jul 4 · 158
l o v e s i c k
blackbiird Jul 4
the
disease
has
progressed
and left
me
paralyzed,
lovesick
and
stuck
in
your
world
with
no
escape.
Jul 3 · 299
s y m p t o m s
blackbiird Jul 3
there's
no
cure
for
the
disease
you've
given
me.
I'm
simply
showing
symptoms
of your neglect.
Jul 3 · 189
to not give a f**k
blackbiird Jul 3
i didn't pay my rent and i don't
give a ****
i forgot to do laundry and wash my sheets brush my hair comb my teeth (whatever).

i forgot to look in the mirror
and whisper words of affirmation to cure
the depression within me
and i don't give a ****

i got a speeding ticket flying 180 on the freeway
and i don't give a ****
i forgot to punctuate this i forgot to structure the voices in my
head i don't give a ****
Random but it's something to get out my feelings.
blackbiird Jun 21

I’m not crying.
mother nature is just watering my face
to her delight.

Jun 21 · 175
the moon & her wrath.
blackbiird Jun 21

every night she comes and goes
spilling her wrath on everything she
touches until the world is a silent, black hole
of nothingness.
but every morning I crave her presence
and I can’t help it.

Jun 16 · 255
22
blackbiird Jun 16
22

on this day, blackbiird was born.
22 years later, she spread her wings
and flew from her mothers nest
into the great unknown.

It’s my birthday today! :)
Jun 15 · 234
stars go dim.
blackbiird Jun 15

the stars light up when you smile
but now the stars have now burned out because you chose to leave your life without saying goodbye to those who loved you.

You should’ve realized that stare go dim when you’re not around.

Well, they certainly do for me.

Jun 13 · 194
a mismatched palindrome
blackbiird Jun 13
I am not impressed,
impressed not am I
with your love.
Jun 12 · 150
mama knows best
blackbiird Jun 12
mama always told me be careful
who you tell your secrets to
because one day you just might
wake up and your whole world is chaos.

as usual, mama was right.
Jun 12 · 285
cry, pray, breathe
blackbiird Jun 12

it's okay to not be okay.
it's okay to not be okay.
it's okay to not be okay.
it's okay to not be okay.
/

cry*
pray *
breathe*
\

you're going to be okay.
you're going to be okay.
you're going to be okay.
you're going to be okay.

blackbiird Jun 11

I can feel your soul touching mine
when I'm sleeping and I know I'll be okay.
you can stop watching me sleep
because I'm okay with the memory of you beside me.

whatever loss you're feeling, it'll be okay in time. You'll always have those precious memories. Hold on to those memories and keep moving forward.
Jun 11 · 197
unconditional love
blackbiird Jun 11
thank You for teaching me that
Your love for me isn't based on my performance
but You love me because
I am Yours.
Jun 11 · 140
the M I D D L E
blackbiird Jun 11
in the middle is where
I let go and You catch me.
in the middle is where I lose
myself and became whole again
in You.

in the middle is where
You sew together
my broken heart.
In the middle is where
You want me.

so I'm trusting that
in the middle
is where You'll perform
Your greatest miracle.
When I tried running, God always found me. I'm learning that in the middle is where I'm supposed to be. I'm safe in God's hands. In the middle is where he won't ever let me go. He wants to renew my mind and my soul and teach me to rely on him.
Jun 11 · 991
B A R E
blackbiird Jun 11
You've stripped me bare ,
exposed my weaknesses,
and torn my mask.
now all i can do
is bow down in humility
because You've positioned
me at the Cherith brook
to speak to me.

and
i've never been more grateful
to be bare with You.
I'm at a session in my life where God has led me alone to the brook where he wants to speak to me and restore all the broken things and use them for his glory. I am learning to be content as I grow closer to the Lord. I wrote this poem to express my gratitude to God for saving me and bringing me back to life piece by piece. I hope this encourages those that are hurting.
Jun 7 · 122
a tumultuous night.
Jun 7 · 123
love hurts
blackbiird Jun 7
I'm done with love.

I always seem to get burned

for loving the most.
Jun 7 · 224
to my ex
blackbiird Jun 7

thanks for teaching
me that I could live
with you.

Jun 6 · 98
... pieces...
blackbiird Jun 6
why do i keep giving away pieces

of my heart to people who don't deserve them?
Jun 6 · 158
progress
blackbiird Jun 6

I terminated a toxic friendship today.
I guess that's progress.

I vowed to never give
my soul to people who don't even water theirs.
that's progress.

Jun 6 · 379
br-ok-en
blackbiird Jun 6
I'm brOKen
when you tell me
I'm beautiful.
Jun 6 · 142
how could You love me?
blackbiird Jun 6
how could You
love something
so selfish
and

broken
and
confused

and
undeserving?

how could You love a sinner
like me?

But I suppose
That’s what The Cross is for.
Jun 6 · 168
letting go
blackbiird Jun 6

promise to hold my heart
when it becomes untethered from
Your grace and love.
i’ve reached the end of myself…..


and there’s nowhere left to turn
but You.
i’ve tried steering
this ship called life but
it’s time for You to take the lead.  

Jun 4 · 259
mirror
blackbiird Jun 4

i want to be the reflection in
the mirror that turns your frown
upside down.

Jun 4 · 192
Inconvenience
blackbiird Jun 4

We’ve built the wall surrounding our castle—
Slowly becoming each other’s demise.
Sounds of slamming doors and shattering glass pierces the silence.
What an inconvenience this life has become.

The pendulum that once swung has taken its final swing.
Envious cries cutting through infinite silence.
Visons of thieving wolves that capture our castle—
Removing delicate, intricately sewn lies
What an inconvenience this life has become.

blackbiird Jun 3
Can I borrow your radio while I shower?
I need to see the darkness before it slips away.
Jun 3 · 70
vacant thoughts
blackbiird Jun 3

you are not allowed
to occupy my thoughts
when you destroyed what we had.
but somehow i can still hear
your voice as if you never left.

blackbiird Jun 3

I wanna know you inside and out.
I wanna crawl beneath your skin and
get into the depths of your soul
but you only want to see me naked.

I want to be your silver lining
in the middle of your messy life
I want to be the first thing on your mind
when you wake up and the last thing when
you rest your head on your pillow at night.

I'd give anything to crawl beneath your skin
and get into the depths of your soul.
but all I can do is stay up up wondering why you won't
love me the way I love you.

Jun 3 · 82
mind games
blackbiird Jun 3
i know i need help
but my mind won't adapt
i know it's not your fault
for trying to love
me when i can't
seem to love myself
i know i'm a dysfunctional
mess but i love it
i know i need help
but my mind is comforting.
i know you're going to
leave but i'm fine
leave me with the comfort
of my own thoughts.
Jun 1 · 516
isolation
blackbiird Jun 1
I searched for happiness
in a dark closet with the door closed.
May 30 · 73
expiration date
blackbiird May 30
it's not your fault
that i'm unfixable
even dead souls have
expirations dates:
5-30-19
May 30 · 46
How to Kill Yourself
blackbiird May 30
Step 1. Isolate yourself

Step 2. Make up scenarios in your head on why you aren’t good enough.

Step 3. Wait for death.
May 30 · 152
suicide
blackbiird May 30
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
but why does it seem like the only option for me?
surely there must be another remedy
May 29 · 158
repentance
blackbiird May 29

my soul burns from these
heavy burdens i've been carrying
but when i look into your eyes
all i see is repentance.
god forbid i'm buried
before i release the ghosts
of my past.

May 27 · 45
killer love
blackbiird May 27
i might eat your heart
out if you let me
and spit it back in your face
May 27 · 201
the saddest story
blackbiird May 27
someone
asked
me
to
write
the
saddest
story
so
i wrote:

the day my best friend
killed herself
without telling me
May 27 · 111
a simple question
blackbiird May 27
for how long will you mourn
yesterday before you realize
that you're missing the best
parts of your youth holding
on to withered flowers
?
May 27 · 1.6k
deflowering my innocence.
blackbiird May 27
i still taste your sticky sweet nectar on
my lips from the time you released your
seed onto my perfect *******,
then you traced your fingertips onto
my precious flower and tasted my sweet honey, watching  it drip from your fingertips
as you plastered your mark into my sweet flower--
my breathing becoming shallow from the sensations, thoughts scattered , close to the threshold before a beautiful release of ecstasy .
A perfect deflowering carved into my memory.
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