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Jun 2019 · 360
unconditional love
blackbiird Jun 2019
thank You for teaching me that
Your love for me isn't based on my performance
but You love me because
I am Yours.
Jun 2019 · 293
the M I D D L E
blackbiird Jun 2019
in the middle is where
I let go and You catch me.
in the middle is where I lose
myself and became whole again
in You.

in the middle is where
You sew together
my broken heart.
In the middle is where
You want me.

so I'm trusting that
in the middle
is where You'll perform
Your greatest miracle.
When I tried running, God always found me. I'm learning that in the middle is where I'm supposed to be. I'm safe in God's hands. In the middle is where he won't ever let me go. He wants to renew my mind and my soul and teach me to rely on him.
Jun 2019 · 1.4k
B A R E
blackbiird Jun 2019
You've stripped me bare ,
exposed my weaknesses,
and torn my mask.
now all i can do
is bow down in humility
because You've positioned
me at the Cherith brook
to speak to me.

and
i've never been more grateful
to be bare with You.
I'm at a session in my life where God has led me alone to the brook where he wants to speak to me and restore all the broken things and use them for his glory. I am learning to be content as I grow closer to the Lord. I wrote this poem to express my gratitude to God for saving me and bringing me back to life piece by piece. I hope this encourages those that are hurting.
Jun 2019 · 196
a tumultuous night.
blackbiird Jun 2019
My boyfriend just broke up with me.
Jun 2019 · 189
love hurts
blackbiird Jun 2019
I'm done with love.

I always seem to get burned

for loving the most.
Jun 2019 · 323
to my ex
blackbiird Jun 2019

thanks for teaching
me that I could live
with you.

Jun 2019 · 144
... pieces...
blackbiird Jun 2019
why do i keep giving away pieces

of my heart to people who don't deserve them?
Jun 2019 · 260
progress
blackbiird Jun 2019

I terminated a toxic friendship today.
I guess that's progress.

I vowed to never give
my soul to people who don't even water theirs.
that's progress.

Jun 2019 · 528
br-ok-en
blackbiird Jun 2019
I'm brOKen
when you tell me
I'm beautiful.
Jun 2019 · 335
how could You love me?
blackbiird Jun 2019
how could You
love something
so selfish
and

broken
and
confused

and
undeserving?

how could You love a sinner
like me?

But I suppose
That’s what The Cross is for.
Jun 2019 · 416
letting go
blackbiird Jun 2019

promise to hold my heart
when it becomes untethered from
Your grace and love.
i’ve reached the end of myself…..


and there’s nowhere left to turn
but You.
i’ve tried steering
this ship called life but
it’s time for You to take the lead.  

Jun 2019 · 328
mirror
blackbiird Jun 2019

i want to be the reflection in
the mirror that turns your frown
upside down.

Jun 2019 · 494
Inconvenience
blackbiird Jun 2019

We’ve built the wall surrounding our castle—
Slowly becoming each other’s demise.
Sounds of slamming doors and shattering glass pierces the silence.
What an inconvenience this life has become.

The pendulum that once swung has taken its final swing.
Envious cries cutting through infinite silence.
Visons of thieving wolves that capture our castle—
Removing delicate, intricately sewn lies
What an inconvenience this life has become.

Jun 2019 · 227
Can I borrow your radio?
blackbiird Jun 2019
Can I borrow your radio while I shower?
I need to see the darkness before it slips away.
Jun 2019 · 110
vacant thoughts
blackbiird Jun 2019

you are not allowed
to occupy my thoughts
when you destroyed what we had.
but somehow i can still hear
your voice as if you never left.

blackbiird Jun 2019

I wanna know you inside and out.
I wanna crawl beneath your skin and
get into the depths of your soul
but you only want to see me naked.

I want to be your silver lining
in the middle of your messy life
I want to be the first thing on your mind
when you wake up and the last thing when
you rest your head on your pillow at night.

I'd give anything to crawl beneath your skin
and get into the depths of your soul.
but all I can do is stay up up wondering why you won't
love me the way I love you.

Jun 2019 · 167
mind games
blackbiird Jun 2019
i know i need help
but my mind won't adapt
i know it's not your fault
for trying to love
me when i can't
seem to love myself
i know i'm a dysfunctional
mess but i love it
i know i need help
but my mind is comforting.
i know you're going to
leave but i'm fine
leave me with the comfort
of my own thoughts.
Jun 2019 · 620
isolation
blackbiird Jun 2019
I searched for happiness
in a dark closet with the door closed.
May 2019 · 120
expiration date
blackbiird May 2019
it's not your fault
that i'm unfixable
even dead souls have
expirations dates:
5-30-19
May 2019 · 90
How to Kill Yourself
blackbiird May 2019
Step 1. Isolate yourself

Step 2. Make up scenarios in your head on why you aren’t good enough.

Step 3. Wait for death.
May 2019 · 215
suicide
blackbiird May 2019
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
suicide isn’t an option.
but why does it seem like the only option for me?
surely there must be another remedy
May 2019 · 233
repentance
blackbiird May 2019

my soul burns from these
heavy burdens i've been carrying
but when i look into your eyes
all i see is repentance.
god forbid i'm buried
before i release the ghosts
of my past.

May 2019 · 76
killer love
blackbiird May 2019
i might eat your heart
out if you let me
and spit it back in your face
May 2019 · 279
the saddest story
blackbiird May 2019
someone
asked
me
to
write
the
saddest
story
so
i wrote:

the day my best friend
killed herself
without telling me
May 2019 · 227
a simple question
blackbiird May 2019
for how long will you mourn
yesterday before you realize
that you're missing the best
parts of your youth holding
on to withered flowers
?
May 2019 · 3.6k
deflowering my innocence.
blackbiird May 2019
i still taste your sticky sweet nectar on
my lips from the time you released your
seed onto my perfect *******,
then you traced your fingertips onto
my precious flower and tasted my sweet honey, watching  it drip from your fingertips
as you plastered your mark into my sweet flower--
my breathing becoming shallow from the sensations, thoughts scattered , close to the threshold before a beautiful release of ecstasy .
A perfect deflowering carved into my memory.
May 2019 · 530
7/20/17
blackbiird May 2019
"i'm holding on
why is everything so heavy?"- Chester Bennington
Gone, but never forgotten. You are missed.
May 2019 · 244
looks can be deceiving
blackbiird May 2019

my eyes undressed you from across
the room and i fell in love but
little did i know that underneath those clothes
was a heart of stone.

May 2019 · 242
overcompensating
blackbiird May 2019

i can't make my heart
stop loving you
so my mind creates a million
reasons as to why i shouldn't.

May 2019 · 280
a fatal contradiction
blackbiird May 2019

your eyes say i don't care
but your heart screams, "help me."
i watched your lips form the
words "save me"
but your voice spoke out, "i'm fine."

one week later,
dressed in black and i still
can't shake the memory
of seeing your heart break
for the final time before it eventually stopped.

You never know what someone is going through. Depression is a real thing. Always be kind.
May 2019 · 186
[panic]
blackbiird May 2019
i'm not okay.
i'm not okay.
i'm not okay.
i'm not okay.
i'm not okay.


you've stolen my heart
and i've forgotten how to breathe.
blackbiird May 2019
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

live
love
laugh
was
your
mantra
but
now
you'll
never
know the
beauty
behind
those words
because you
have blown out
your
candle
You'll forever be missed, my friend.
May 2019 · 279
liquid courage
blackbiird May 2019

i wish i had the courage
to talk to you but for right
now, my friend jack daniel will do.

May 2019 · 135
Untitled
blackbiird May 2019

the moon stole her heart
and used it for its own perverted purposes.
the moon's a *****.

Depression is a *****.
May 2019 · 109
answer me this.
blackbiird May 2019
why are men so heartless?
May 2019 · 374
the truth about “men.”
blackbiird May 2019
men are inferior creatures who are unable to love anyone or anything. They are victims of their own self destruction.
men are nothing more than a wasted breath of life who’s only purpose is to cause destruction.
men often hate themselves and project this hate unto others who are too insecure to believe otherwise that they are superior to men.
men will never be anything other than the mindless zombies always feeding off of others.
Men are egocentric beings who diffuse sexuality and exploit women for their precious hearts only to rip them out of the woman’s chest.
with their visceral inclinations and their ape like behavior, men are nothing more than blobs running around the earth looking for their next victim.
men never apologize when they are wrong and they prey on the weak.
Valerie Solanas had the right idea: let’s rid the world of such fools. We are better off without them.
May 2019 · 379
...mercy.
blackbiird May 2019
i wish you were dead
but death is too good for you.
so I pray to god that he
has mercy on you in purgatory.
May 2019 · 270
bittersweet
blackbiird May 2019
i hate that you left without
saying goodbye
but my heart is grateful for the departure.
May 2019 · 232
early sleep
blackbiird May 2019

you took an early sleep and all i can do is wonder
where you are when i watch the sun set over the mountains.
you were so young
but you'll never know what your life could have been.

In memory of my beloved friend, Jessica. Gone too soon. <3
May 2019 · 239
victim.
blackbiird May 2019

i was simply the victim of your love.
while you were planning my funeral, I was waiting to die.

May 2019 · 781
sun kissed
blackbiird May 2019
Sunkissed
\
and
Unashamed
Our broken hearts
Still beating
As we danced through the fields
And watched
The sun kiss our skin
Before the moon took
Her turn.
/
Covering us in our own
nakedness
\
And vulnerability
/
And we saw each other’s
Scars within the moon’s enduring
\
Wrath
/
And we laid there
\
Enjoying every
/
Moment.
Mental Illness SHOULD not be a stigma.
May 2019 · 206
the moon and her angels
blackbiird May 2019
i can still taste the cherry cola
on your lips as we shared
our final moment staring at
the moon waiting for the
angels to descend and take you away.
May 2019 · 2.1k
my dilemma
blackbiird May 2019
i wanna die. i wanna die.
i wanna die. i wanna die.
i wanna die. i wanna die.
but i can't seem to pull the trigger.
blackbiird May 2019
how do you explain something
that you don't even understand yourself?

that's what mental illness is like.
always searching for the horizon
or some sort of earthly catastrophe
that could explain the brokenness
you feel inside your heart.

always afraid of getting
close to the thing most precious
to you out of fear that you might
break it or that it may be tainted by your demons.

that piercing feeling in your stomach
that you can't seem to shake in the
middle of the night as you lie awake
wondering if you deserve to see another sunrise.

mental illness is like a never-ending
dream of constant chaos
but underneath are broken
and beautiful people who
deserve to be loved and known.
May 2019 · 68
stupid in love.
blackbiird May 2019
my brain wants love and affection
but my heart wants freedom from those
tender moments when i gave you
my heart and you threw it in the trash.
May 2019 · 222
office talk.
blackbiird May 2019
i no longer find solace
in my solitude because the voices in
my heard are too loud.
                      "your nose is too big"
"you're too fat"

          "you'll never be good enough"

"no one likes you"

"better off dead"

and the office talk begins.
May 2019 · 277
i'm not scared of dying
blackbiird May 2019

i'm not scared of dying.
i'm scared of not knowing who will be at my funeral.

May 2019 · 150
One Day
blackbiird May 2019

One day someone’s going
To find a book of my poetry
After I have left this world
And they’re going to see
All the brokenness, loneliness, hopes
And dreams
The good, the bad, the pretty
And the ugly
And they’re going to smile
And say:
“I would’ve loved her even on
Her worst day.”

May 2019 · 200
read backwards & forwards.
blackbiird May 2019

My heart only beats when you’re near.
Because
I need help.
And
You’ve tattooed your name on my heart.

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