Lay the first strike
Because you just
Want to cause a scene

Once so gentle, serene
You kept taking my
Energy  

Taking all the weight
Pushing on my shoulders
You kept on crushing
Me

I don’t know who
Gets to suffer worst

Because I'm out of breath
And I'm nowhere near first

And where are you?
You’re nowhere to be seen

You’re hiding,
Complacent, living like

Everyone owns you
Every explanation

Even if you
Never gave them  
Anything in return

Simmer down,
Because karma’s  
Gonna get you first

Treat people without  
their worth

And they’ll be the ones
To leave you first

So lay the first strike,
I don’t wanna hear  
Any of it  

You’ve taken my energy,
But not everything
Is gone,  
and ripped in pieces

Simmer down
Because karma’s
A silent enemy,
That doesn’t
Give up, no.

Lift the needle
From the record

It's time we
Settle this

Because if
We keep playing
The music we
Call life

The grooves
Will distort

And I'll be
Stuck

Scratched and
Endlessly spinning
On track four

Aching, and yearning
to progress
My way past you

I seek to find
My way

To a new track,
Titled
'A New State of
Mind'

But I can't
Seem to get
Out of this
Current state

(You played me
This time)

Not knowing
how to stop

I'm stuck in a
Loop

Forever stuck on replay

(I just want a
Day

Where I'm not
Dying inside

I just want to
Be fine today)

The diamond needle
Digs deeper

In the grooves
Making the vinyl
Weaker

And all that's left
Is a shell of myself
In this preserved state

Lift the needle
From the record

I'm tired of being
Played on a broken
Speaker

Tonight I will
Enjoy my bed
While you lay in yours
I wonder if you regret it all
After the first night when guards closed the doors
When you were on the inside
With absolutely nothing you could do
I still can’t believe the time has come
Punishment for the destruction that comes with you
I never thought it’d be real
You understanding what it feels like
To be a powerless prisoner
Giving everything you got- to still lose the fight

Do you lose sleep over me
Putting you where you belong
Do the voices in your head still tell you I’m in the wrong?

I wonder how many months
It will take to break your spirit

All you have is your thoughts
How many memories till you hear it

The muffled screams, my terrified eyes
Or are your memories filled with stories saying I’m the bad guy

Blaming your true colors on account of being high
While you looked down at me on the floor, beating me just enough not to die

Are you angry with me because I got away?

If you could see me tomorrow do you know what you would say?
I think you would walk right past me
Without even a look
Making me feel like I was nothing
It’s the biggest play from your book

I think about this often
If I had the chance, what would I say
I forgive you for making the biggest mistake of your life
Knowing I’m the one that got away

“looking back, we weren’t all that great for one another. you liked to be distant, i liked to overthink. you never told me what was wrong, i told you everything that was wrong. you were afraid of expectations, i expected to be loved the way i loved you.

i think even at the beginning i knew it may not quite work, but despite all our flaws i knew we had a spark, and i was determined to set that spark aflame. i fell in love with the idea of a flame that never came.”

Your lies charred holes that couldn’t be closed , who am I really convincing here , here at your every call I start to wither and fall , I’ve been running off an exhausted thought of you and me because every time I think of us I get a little stuck , you say you love me but her and her I cannot keep up with the way you love because the way you love and the way I love are two different ways I thought you could hang but it turns to play that every man will have his way

The way you smelted of liquor all day made me wanna go away even after all the failed attempts at asking I always tried to over communicate but I guess you really can’t change a man that doesn’t want to be changed. The way you held me late at night I thought that meant that you loved me the way I craved but deep down every day I knew I was deprived and my mind had to Play this game to convince myself that it was okay because you told me you loved  

The power those words held over me especially when they fell from your lips made me paranoid and frayed until the very next day you would convince the thoughts to go away you had your way with my mind and it made me cave falling to my knees for your every praise , you put my brain in a haze trying to read every ****** maze but unfortunately I could never find my way

My brain on the constant train is he thinking of me or her , god the way you’re not willing to change has me in a hold for days, but it’s okay as soon as you say even tho my feelings are still astray something you’ll always try to invalidate , I don’t know why I continue to stay

I tried to walk slowly.
careful not to shake your ground,
careful not wake you up,
careful not to make a sound.

No matter how light my footsteps were,
No matter how soft I tried to exhale,
you still found a way to make me eat my words,
you made me think I'm toxic and insane.

But now you said you cant be with me,
I'm not worth fighting for,
looking back I wished I stood my ground,
when you said Creed is better than Faith no More.

You said you dont want arguments,
arguments that you like to bake from scratch,
the main ingredient: your unfair judgments,
on the way I talk, walk , breathe and act.

You know your way with words,
your tone so cool and calm,
If only I'm deaf I'd think you weren't a ****,
until I heard you want me gone.

Your words pierce like a blunt knife,
painfully tearing through every flesh of my dignity,
I am certain you weren't the person I loved,
'cause he said we'll be together for eternity.

Now that it's all over,
I know you wont even realize I'm gone,
You said it won't make a difference to you
if we end this now and be done.

I will continuously fuel my anger,
making sure I have enough embers of your mistreatments inside.
I'll  burn and stop your memories from poisoning me,
from flooding my soul , my heart, my mind.

The cries, the screams
Ripping out the hearts
Of innocent souls
Tearing them to pieces
The chilling smile,
The evil laugh
The periodic lies  
Repetion
Repetion
Killing anything in his path
Making any joyful thing die
Painting roses with the blood of his victims
Drawing them in with a sinister act
Acting as if you care
But destroying them
Repetition
Repetition
No sense of feeling
No appeal for emotions
Throwing around the
"I love you"s
Eroding Trust
Creeping into minds
and Hurting Everyone
Regardless
Of who they are
And if the victim escapes....
Well....
They'd wish they were dead.
The actions of
my serial killer .

You will rise again

You have been beaten down

You have been abused

You have been torn down

You have been told you were nothing

You have been told you can’t do it

You are plagued by residuals

You are tormented by demons

You are tortured by nightmares

You are attacked by PTSD daily

You are reminded of it all by your scares

You are so tired of it all

Yet you survived all of it

You continue to live each day

You continue to smile

You continue to thrive

You continue to overcome

You continue to be strong

You continue to rise

© Seductive Poetry

Spoken Word Version :: https://youtu.be/xGzGQ-8tSGM