I know their will always be times I get down but I feel better now and I want you all to know that it may seem bad now but don't dwell on the bad find a ray of light no matter how hard to find

Hey, this is the first one that I have done in a while on this site so pleas go and like my other poems that I have written over this sort of thing...self harm is not something that I can talk about easily but this is one way I can express what happens in everyday life   so if you would like to follow pleas do and comment if you would like to suggest a topic for me to write about

If you would like to read part #2 then pleas share re-post or like Ill be uploading it soon so let me know follow to see Part #2

"Then i leave you and promise you thet i wil come back to you one day and redeme myself in your eyes goodby my sisster and good night
He left me slowly but shurly once the darkness had made it imposibule to see him i once agen focased on the crematory thet had semingly dun its job.
The flames wher dead and all thet was left of the girl was the chared ashes thet had once bean her bones .
I had said to her thet this would be in the back of my mind soon enufe and it was when i turned away it was shuved to the back of my minde.
The car waas cold when i got into it i had left the windowe open so the cold nightime air could get in.
I rolled it up and turned the car on.
It hummed to life with a catlike purr i only had to tape the gas petal to mack it shoot forwerd downe the lifless barlet lit street the i would never go downe agen.
2

My hous was a good sised one for me i had ushualy had a manchen but i did not consider this to be that.
It had ten roomes ot including the basement and garage a kichen,3beadroomes,a library,a living roome,a game rome, a theater,and too bathromes.
I had sevral cars thet wher parked in the garage thet i freqwently did not use.
Thet wher cars frome my past the modal t  was the oldest of them it had beean my first car thet i had bought .
I knew the man who had bilght it from hand and gave it to his beloved crush he was so infachowated with her ...to bad i did not feal the same.
Then i had a few more i hade cars thet wher not street egal because thay could go up to 700 mials per hour and uther thet wher just pretty.
It was the only thing thet had come out good frome hummen evalution.
I parked my lambragini next to my rould royse and got out .
The house was also could i hadent the slightes clu why bt it was my pershan cat tin tu was seated on the love seet thet was in the living roome.
She was regla wheni came in her chin lifted high .
She meowed as i steped into her ew as if she was annoyed with me and the fact thet i had smeled like hummen blood.
The thing about her was she wasent a mortal cat she was an imortal cat once long ago i was borne to a varry powerfull man he had asked me what
i wanted and i had said thet i wanted to ceep my kitten forever and ever he had granted me this.
Tin TU looked at me annoted thet i was late home and paded around my feet untill i fead her then she happaly ignored me whial she ate.
The cat was all thet i caired to ceep frome my past she was the only thing besides my brother thet i wanted to ceep.
The wind frome the night blw open the windowe it the lving room Tin TU stoped eathing and hissed her taribul anoyed danger was neer hiss.
She did not have to i felt it to the chill was sent downe my spine as i turned slowly to fase the man who stud behnd me.
"Hellowe Father."
He was the demon who had given birth to me he was a man who could **** you witha thought and never think of it agen
He was the monster a chiald saw under the bead he was my father.
"Hellowe my littal soul stealer i see you have been bissy in your endevors?"
I shruged my eyes never leaving his
"I have adapted to the unfochanet surcumstances thet you have put over my head theas last few decades."
The could in my voice was sharpe as i spat it at him,but his smial never waverd for a second.
"And with age you have become more and more the monster that i hoped you woud be so thet you could rual beside me in the depths of your power ."
That was the thing thet he had birthed me for to use my power of the hevins and hell the devil satin who he worked for had instructed him to **** an angel so he had
and out of that i was borne the devil wants to use my power the too sides of good and evil gave me gifts the day thet i was borne .
Hevin gave me the gift of free will and the devil gave me the curse of eturnal life so thet if he forgote abou me for a decade or too he could still use me .
I hated them both sides they had never showen themselvs to me once to help me my father said it was to mack the choice mine and not to influence me.
That was the only thing we had in commune  we could not tell lies it was a curse thet hevine had put on him and had travald threw blood to me.
"Why are you hear father you have need of the pain thet you have put me threw all of theas years or do you just love to see the hatred in my eyes thet is because of
you?"
He tuck a step back eyes wide with shock.
"You dair speek to me like that i am your father i can **** you with one thought i am the devils advocet!?!!!!!!!"
That made my temmper explode into somthing thet i had never befor felt.
"YOU ARE NOT MY FEER I DO NOT FEER YOUR POINTLESS THRETS YOU ALWAYS COME HEAR TO SEE IF I AM CRYING BUT I NEVER AM MY MOTHER DIED SHE GAVE UP HER
ANGELS CRESS BECAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO LIVE SHE GAVE UP HEVIN FOR ME THAT IS LOVE WHAT YOU CALL LOVE IS NOT YOU ARE NOT THE MAN WHO I WANTED TO BE MY FATHER
YOU ARE A DEMO YOU CANOT LOVE ME YOU WILL NEVER!!!!! I AM A SLAVE TO YOUR OWN INVENCHONE YOU ARE A SLAVE NO MATTER WHAT LUCIFER TELLS YOU ,YOU WILL
ALWAYS BE THAT A SLAVE!!!!! AND YOU HAVE DEMMED YOUR CHILDREN TO THE SAME FATE AS YOU!!!!"
My suden outburst made him step back and blink.
I also steped back it was the first time thet i had ever used the demonic powers thet i had been born with.
"You should leav befor i **** you ."
My voice came out in little more than a wisper but it was loud enuff for him to hear me.
"You are my daughter."
The words wher smug and sympal they should not have had an affect on me but they did.
"Yu are not my father you are a demon the monster who ***** my mother an angel who did nothing to diserve this."
My voice did not raise but if you hurd this it would have seemd so.
"You may find this hard to balev my chiald but i loved your mother she was my friend she did thing for me nowone did whial i was alive."
He pased like he was in pain from ramembering things thet had happend his words only ****** me off.
"How could my mother have loved you a demon a crual man."
He ran his hand threw his hair and shruged he was sad i could tell and i knew he could not lie so i disided to lissen to him only this once."
"Your mother was a death angel she was the one thet brange the sould out of hevin and into hell that is why god loved her because she would give up her life to
surve him he loved her more than an angel.
He cursed me when he relized he would loose her o me he made me tell the truth of why i wanted her in that hould that day she was scaired she said thet she hated me
and i was scaired when she said that i missed her and i loved her if only she would lissen to me but the devil came and ***** her in that houl infrount of me
She cryed out for help and i tryed but the devil cursed me and my children you think the curse thet you have is du to mt thet i did this to you but i did not
It was he his words wher 'You and your children will never be alowed into hevin foe your incolence and they like you shall have to **** fore your life....
And so it was i was 18 at the time so enny and all my children will have to **** to live when thet reach the age of 18.... that is why you have to **** because he
hated me.'
i paused for a minute not wanting to balev him.
"You lie....but you canot can you?......How could my mother have beena death angel she was my mother not a bad angel."
My resurve was not as solid as it sounded i was scaired as if i was a little girl whos dog ran away.
He looked taken aback by this.
"Your 'canote tell a lie curse is less promanint then mine you can tell things thet you balev even if it is a lie."
Soon he shruged it off and walked around the room he was restless.
"You should leave now like rite now."
My voice was shaking and qwivering.
I was not who i was saposed to be i hade been talking to my dad somthing thet i would have never dune before i would have dune somthing to **** him before
but i hadent yet.
He stude thair inforont of me scaired and alone as if he was a boy.
"Goodby father, goodby...."
He looked up at me just before he closed the door to leave once agen.
"You call me your father why you know thet i am not ."
I said the only thing thet i could at the time the only thing thet i could say ,the only thing thet came to mind.....
"You are the only father thet i know the man who you say ***** my mom has not spoke to me at all he is not my father i have known you as such for all my life and so
you shall always be in my eyes."
Slowly he closed the door and left ,how could this night get eney worse  and i really hope i did not just jinx myself  thouse thoughts went threw my head .

3MOM OF THE DEVILS CHIALD.

Envalina sate on the couch in her house she was a varry tall beautiful womane she have the blewest eyes and blakest hair she was pail.
She had a scars on her back thet wher in the shape of wide almost cresents.
Her wings had been thair but they wher not eneymore they had been riped frome her long ago when god had found thet she had been ***** and impregnated by the devil.
The chiald thet she birthed was like no uther she had the blakest hair darker than night and pail skil,her eyes wher a ice blew almost coolerless.
Her name was Edome.
Envalina loved that girl she hated the father she hated the man wo had betrayed her and led her into the darkness and forsed her to be ***** and have the chiald.
Edome had stayed with her mother untill the age of 12 when she had relized her demonic powers she had killed an boy thet had hurt her brother with a thought.
She had ran away with nothing but a wallet full og monny and her mind.
A could wind came in from the kichen windowe it mand chills run up her spine she hadent felt that precence in a long long time
"You havent changed much Envalina in a long time."
The voice she hated the voice thet did belong to the man thet had betrayed her so long ago.
"Leave me alone you are no friend of mine you havent been for a long ,long time you must leave now befor i call my chiald to me and have her **** you."
He huffed anoyed by her lack of enthusiasum at seeing him.
"Edome wil not come to you she hates me why would she come to you."
Envaina lafed a sinical lafe one she had solumly if ever used to spee to eneyone with.
"I have more than one chiald you must know that ."
The smell hit his nose first the smell of sin and sorowe overwelmd him."
Evalina smelled the sent and did not react to the smell as the demon did he reacted as if a dead body had bee laying on the floor for weeks and nowone had moved it.
"Caramia come to your mother please let me see you and showe you to somewon."
A blonde cural and a blew eye poked out frome behind the entryway inbatwen the kichen and the livingroom.
She looked about sevi or eight .
She wore a simpal long whight dress thet had a bight wight ribone in the back.
She was small and skinny but she was her mothers daughter .
she had the enviase beauty thet eney womane would be enviase of she came into the roome shyly as if she wanted to not be hear at all she was afraied of him.
"I can sence the danger in yuo your darkness and evil you know my mother and i know you mack one false move and i will **** you hear and know."
Her words wher thretaning ut she said them in a wisper the demon mad did not hesatate whair she was conserned he ceept eye contact.
"And i can snce you sarowe and pain you ate of the darkness but you also have a soul a sad soul but you have one nun the less who are you chiald and what are you?"
She looked to Eavalina for help the mother just noded slightly as if giving her permishon to speek to the man wh had betrayed her.
"I am Caramia the daughter of the fallen death ange i poses the powers thet sh had i go to the depest depths og hell and come bback un scathed from the jorny.
You are a deomon of hell the one thet had betrayed my mother and sent her hear with a chiald she did not want so if she asks me agen to **** you i shall."
With that the little girl tuck a stance thet made her look only slightly thretaning.
The demon just lafed at her he could senc the danger in doing so but did it eneyway.
"You are like my daughter when she lived with your mother she protected the womae who you call your mother with her life and blood...did she tell you she almost did
die protecting your mother once.....an angel had come downe from hevil to slay your mom but my chiald would not allowe it she stabrd the angel threw the harte
they fought agenst one another for a good half day battaling untill both wher too tierd to cuntinu the angel had brither came to help him somthing thet
has never happpend sence that wher going to kil both of them but Edome stoped them she saved your mother so the next time you talk about the chiald you better do
it with respet she saved your mom and you owe her a life debt."
The wordscame out in a hiss of anger he had begun to yell at the chiald making it shrink back agenst the side of its mother.
"I owe her a debt? how could that be tru you said she had never lived with you thet you hated her thet i was the only daughter thet you loved
you lied to me moma!"
The chiald threw a tantrum of throwing thingd and skeeming out in anger she wasent to have this at all .
"CALM DOWN CARAMIA NOW AS YOUR MOTHER I DEMAND IT YOU MAY PAY BACK THE DEED THET YOU OWE HER WHEN SHE IS NEXT IN DANGER~!!!!"
the chiald stoped for a second but then second thought it when her mother turned away from her for a secod.
she went to the demo who her mother so hated and spoke to hm not in a ******* tone but she was angry nu the less.
"you will brng me to the girl who i owe the debt to an i shall repay it then i will return to my mother and you shall leave us alone do you understand me demone of
hell?"

He noded and looked to Evalina she was shaking her head as if she wasent to shur of her daughters plane.
"You should know thet the girl is of both sides hevine and hell she canot be killed if that was your plan to my chiald."
That seemd to stop her dead in her traks as she thought threw the thing thet she had just hured.
"How could that be so it canot you know that ....moma is it rite it cant be tru......moma?"
Evalina shuck her head and stud up abruptly making her daughter step back away from her.
"You can tell her what you did to me demon then see if she douse not try to **** you then..good luck boy."
With that she left the room to leave the too of them alone so they could plane the death and resurection of her daughter alone.
4 POWERS RESURECTED

I stud alon in the rain it was a cool october night thet smeeld of somthing uther than death for once.
Hand raised to the hevins i called ou into the night thet was alll around me i comanded the powers thet i had been borne with the powers thet i did not use varry often
"Hear me call the wind the rain and all i summon thy to do my biding and end the life of a man who calls himself my father! i call to you the wind i call to you the rain
i call you fire i call you the pain thet i have been put threw and i demand thet you obay me frome the powers of hevin and the fires of hell
'adu-mi ala de putere i doresc sa aiba ?i killthe om ala nume' so let it be thet the demon father be killed on this night so let it be i cast thy!"
With that i casd the speel thet would **** the man thet had ***** my father the man who made her have me.
Lightning struck the fround on all sides of me it burned the grass arould me forming the circal thet i knew to well.
The blurry image of a beest fikerd to life in the flames it was grotesc and disturbing it was the devil.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DUN TO MY YOU BLAFMYUS BICTH YOU ARE KILLING ME RESURECT THE CIRCAL OW DO AS I SAY AS THE DARKLOURD I COMAND IT !!!!!"
he called out to me he was in pain so much thet i could see thet it was so, he howuld out in pain and thrashed around in the lames and eturnal damnation thet was his
home.
All the anger and age thet had bilght inside of me had explode in an insetent i could not controll it eney loonger i exploded into the thing thet my father was
i was not me as my body began to morph in to a demon the demon me the evil thet had consumend me thet was blurry just became so cleer.
"YOU SHALL DIE AT MY HANDS I WILL TACK YOU FROME YOUR THRONE AND KIL YOU YOU ARE THE DEMON THET ***** MY MOTHER AND I WILL NOT STAND IT I