I heard noises.
a thumping
soft then heavy
hard and slow
the closer I drew
the more confident
I knew...

I looked to you
cold and distant
yet beautiful.
sinister eyes
you were afraid
'please don't cry'

in the corner
of your dark room
covered in blood
was your heart
I kissed your hole
hopeful for a new start

pity parties.
I'm my only guest
i have to go now
must look my best

Dreaming is pricey
When bills must be paid
For this reason she loves darkness
Inexpensive lay

9-5
Just to stay alive
Guess if I quite
I die.

the world is sick
people are ill
emotions are viruses
that every human feels
hate is real.
evil kills.
smiling is contagious
affection lives.
then, I awoke from my coma
and realized
LOVE can actually HEAL!

insomnia has become a gateway
to my new drug
sheets are my lover
lonley body it hugs.
brown burden
outstretched
and laid
routine nights
spontaneous days.
if I never awake
sleeps cousin
has become my fate.
with confidence
blame my death
on sleep aid.

forgive me father
for I have sinned
sorry once
& again.

painted smiles
today
will
soon
turn
into
silent
cries
tomorrow.

I hate you.
For not protecting me
Yes, you *******!

Not even ***

Nor love

I just need a hug

sing into my deaf ears
sweet melodies
for my melancholy fears
caress my silent lips
make my words come alive
a moan may slip;
the sweetest cries.
sniff out the smell
that has caused men hell;
for a whiff of heaven
morals they bail
no lies. I can honestly tell
that you will provide sensation
extremely well...
blow kisses of love
in my blind eyes
Can you please,
give me sight?
so I can see this healer
named Dr.Might
who claims he can put feeling
back into my paraplegic body
on this night!

to be odd
even among the
outsiders
is just lonley.
to be mysterious
even to oneself
is to feel lost.
to give advice but never
knowing how to help
myself is hypocrisy.
it's a strange life
one might say.
it's the role
I was given
so this character
I shall play.

Still a good man.
A good friend,
who really does
stick around to the very end.

One who ignored my sin
blowing upon me
Like an extinguishing fan
to quench the fire burning in man

Oh God, what a good son!
he granted me life
offering peace, calming strife
How can I thank him?

Is there any way?
"Happy Easter"
is probably not the most
gracious thing to actually say.

candles of fire and flare
balloons float high in the air
their way of showing me
they finally care

the end of the rainbow
my soul now knows
the end is like the ballon
I've seen where it goes

doves fly peacefully
protectively on my side
I lay asleep
Eyes wide

I dance and giggle
as people cry and wiggle
life was complicated
death was simple

violas laid on my grave
tombstone reads:
no longer a sinner
no longer satan's slave

rihanna and lana del rey
please don't become her
one day

dorothy dandridge
whitney houston
marilyn monroe
anna nicole

their sadness I did know
beautiful and broken
the pain never let go
the men, the drugs,
the heartache followed
they were all a living example:
misery is captivating
and beauty is shallow

I AM NOT DEEP.

I just think alot
I'm not weak
I just feel alot
I'm not probing
I just see alot

they whisper
oohh "she so deep"
I ain't loud
I just make words
echo when I speak

I am not
deep,
simply because
I utilize
my mind
to think!

Nothing more
far from less
than just another
intellectual
poetry freak

At night
few things enter my head
one is you
another me
third is my bed
two are present
you are absent
your dark face
I do not see
show up beautiful monster
come from that closet
furfill my fantasy

whatever you do
dare not to stare
they will take you places
do not be willing
to go there

they are tainted
they will ruin you
right from the start
cover your body
protect your heart

puppy dog eyes
bedroom glares
never fall captive
to scorpio or pisces
no matter who dares

s    q    u   e   e   z  e      it     out    of    me

rrrrruuuuuubbbbb it in to me

puuuuuuuussshh it away from me

puuuulll
           me
                up !

sweating tears
cheater fears
mouth eruption
lies destruction
blood my skin cries
pavement is what I taste
have mercy and
help me up from my face!

On her knees
Willing to please
Hands connected
Questions deflected    

fall from grace
disgraced face
****** tears
human fears

“What have I done?”
Orphaned daughter
Afraid to hear the answer
From God’s son

I want to cry
           For you
I cannot revive
         My tears

     I want to feel
     For you
emotions uproot
     My fears

I want to calm
         The storm
   which rocks
         Your boat
Only I can’t
      I’m unable to float

Too proud
To say I miss you
Now you’re gone
And I wish to kiss you
Pride and ego
Have always had this affair
Now my love
I’m willing to share
Wherever you are
Smile because I want you back
with you I can breathe again
No more asthma attacks

Bottle full of liquor
Bottle filled with pills
Numb body
I no longer feel

Bottle full of relief
Bottle filled with drank
Told me I wouldn’t be sh**
Guess I really ain’t

Bottle full of death
Soul raises high like ****
I look down with pity
“Poor old me”

Once full of life

Now near empty...

Memory is gone
Like a chunk of my heart
Feelings are numb
Emotions I shun
Love has wasted
Failures I’ve tasted
Memory is shattered
Deadliest glass
Veil I wear
True self truly masked
Best actress award
Goes to me
Kidnapped life
Stolen identity

How did I
Allow myself to be used?
Too compromising
Abused thereafter
Searching frantically
For a clue
Why would you?
How could he,
Hurt me so badly?
Maybe I’m selfish
Or foolish too
I can’t come to terms
With the things he do

You never quit on me
Though I threw in the towel
Over and again
I washed my filth
Took an arrogant bow
You drew near me
Though I reeked of sin
not used to being loved
Intimate woman
I’ve never been...

If I ever see you in the sky
Don’t be a stranger
And fly right by
If I ever see you on earth
Embrace me like a new born
To its mother after birth
If I ever see you in dreams...
I’ll scream with joy!
...For you my love...
I’ll sing!

One more heartbreak
Added to my score
Liking you became difficult
Like a mandatory chore

One more heartbreak
Against my name
Paint me the bad one
Portray me to blame

I tried to warn you
prevent you from feeling blue
it went unnoticed
so here's a clue...

beware of lust
be slow to start
beware of love
guard your heart

Roses the color of your kisses
Lipstick I wiped from my face

Now I check to see,
If they are still tattooed
In that very place

I simply miss them
Because they came from
you

The only person,
Whose love was ever
true

Addicted to love;
The sweetest high
Strangers walk past
Kisses blown by
Some catch,
Most miss
Hopeless romantic
Sprung out
Cupid’s abyss

A child resides
Inside my soul
Lies told, truth known
Insides my eyes
A child cries
Truth be told
The woman lies
As the child dies

Still waters may run deep
But sometimes
Down the creek
Appears a crack
And that same water
Eventually
Seeps.