I could have been more careful than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or let my heart be broken,
Enough to let you in there,
Suffocating me, lifeless,
But beating for you so that you could breathe.

I could have been more selfish than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or break pieces off of me,
Breaking them off one by one,
Till I was a shell, shattered,
But able to put you back together.

I could have been more angry than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or hold you so innocent,
As innocent as a child,
Withholding judgment, calmly,
But letting you turn fury back on me.

I could have been more knowing than I was.
I didn’t have to love you,
Or confront my need to give,
Giving so you would love me,
Till I left my tank, empty,
But looking back I learned what I should be.

The days, they flee like frightened prey
From ravenous needs of the past,
Appetite that feeds on today,
Voracious hunger’s everlast.

Still open wounds prey on the weak,
Tomorrow’s young without defense.
It’s deadly game of hide and seek,
It’s pain’s surviving consequence.

Tomorrow has not built the strength
To outrun this ferocity,
Anger pursues and shortens length
So it can feed on what could be.

The ruthless past pursues to feed
In service to instinct to ****,
Attack and let the future bleed,
To prey on time so it stands still.

Why even one?
Why should even one die?
Why should even one die from hate?

Life is too short.
Life is too short to die unnaturally.
Life is too short to die unnaturally from hate.

Why doesn’t man learn?
Why doesn’t man learn not to ****?
Why doesn’t man learn not to **** for hate?

What’s God’s purpose?
What’s God’s purpose for making man die?
What’s God’s purpose for making man die from hate?

Why sacrifice?
Why sacrifice six million?
Why sacrifice six million and eleven more?

God made man.
God made man hate.
God made man hate his distance from Him.

God cries out.
God cries out for our response.
God cries out for our response to hate.

God is looking.
God is looking for man.
God is looking for man to return.
God is looking for man to return to Holiness.

Beneath the paleness of the autumn sky,
The tired ground takes respite from the heat,
Life departs with green of leaves fallen dry,
Barren and ready for growth to repeat.

Cold wind crackles against the branches bare,
And mornings now too quickly greet the night,
While the birds and butterflies disappear,
Warm raindrop kisses wet with chilling bite.

The weight of the gray air wilts the flowers.
Have pastels washed away for evermore?
Weary nature calls upon its powers
And from its weakest point starts to restore.

I shield my eyes in refuge from the cold,
Imagining the life there is to mourn.
Then I’ll recall the lesson nature told.
You need a little death to be reborn.

I’ve loved without loving being in love,
and loved with a love that I was scared of.
I’ve loved while hating I’d fallen so hard,
and been in love when loving left me scarred.

I’ve loved when love left me empty inside,
and love when loving felt like I had died.
I’ve loved when everything said I should not,
and been in love while I felt myself rot.

I’ve loved when I wished love would go away,
and loved dying with a heart in decay.
I’ve loved as if I was loving the pain,
and been in love pervasive disdain.

I’ve loved because I’ve refused to lose hope,
and loved as if I might someday elope.
I’ve loved the dream that a love could be true,
like the love that I love when loving you.

I write about beauty thinking of you,
And the awe in my soul from what you do.
I write about dreams that you made come true.
Words are mine but inspiration is you.

I write about blue skies thinking of you,
And miracles based on things that you do.
Love is a fantasy that you made true.
My poetry is inspired by you.

I write about hopes thinking of you,
And seeing God’s hand in all that you do.
Lies I believed you made no longer true.
Art that I see is inspired by you.

I heard wondrous words coming from you,
And watched all the new things you liked to do.
You made my tears when you swore it was true—
It was I who was inspiring you.

Feels like a cloud is at rest in my palm,
A softness so light I can’t understand,
Applied to skin but my soul’s healing balm,
You fix what broke me when I hold your hand.

Your fingers transmit feeling like a spell,
With energy felt deep within my skin,
Your lightness of touch makes everything well,
Held in my hand but my heart’s where it’s in.

With love and with grace you gave it to me,
To hold and caress to return your love,
In hand and in love is how we shall be,
Hold fast each dream that we ever dreamt of.

Don’t run from love against which you rebelled,
You never before let your hand be held.

I spent one day in tomorrow
Before my one day in today,
And I let tomorrow borrow
What I was feeling yesterday.

I spent one day in tomorrow,
Spent it with worry and regret.
I had let tomorrow borrow,
Past fears that hadn’t happened yet.

I spent one day in tomorrow—
A day that was a total waste.
One I let tomorrow borrow
With countless regrets to retrace.

I spent one day in tomorrow
And found that that’s no way to live.
I had let tomorrow borrow
The only day I had to give.

I hear your echo in silence,
Your voice speaks to me in quiet,
With ears that hear feelings, not words,
In a heart to amplify it.

Your clearest words were not spoken,
But they resounded in my ears,
In a heart tuned to perfect pitch
Of loving feelings that it hears.

I listen to your heart beating
To know the words you have to say,
My heart understands love language
Said from a million miles away.

In despair that causes deafness,
Hope is the comfort your voice speaks,
With ears you’ve given to my heart
Your love is what my silence seeks.

What does Love want from me?
Nothing more than just to
Walk through the lilac fields
Aware of the splendor
Of varied purple hues
And breathe in blooming spring.

What does Love want from me?
Nothing more than just to
Listen to words spoken
Aware of their silence
With perfect clarity
Hearing sounds in my heart.

What does Love want from me?
Nothing more than to
Revere what God has made
Devoted to beauty
With full adoration
Seeing a soul’s aura.

What does Love want from me?
Nothing more than to
Live today preciously
Sensing a divine touch
In appreciation
Life is a miracle.

I’ve escaped, slipping through a narrow crease.
Here I was, trapped by every emotion.
One instant, overwhelmed here’s my release!
Intensely, feelings put me in motion!

Slowly traversing flesh from which I came,
Others like me sharing in my descent.
Mortal grief and elation all the same,
I can never know what my presence meant.

Unwelcome, destined to be wiped away.
I was fine, watching the world in my eye,
Bewildered, thousands of feelings per day,
Now no more, which feeling bid me goodbye?

I come in truth impossible to lie,
And oh so hard to hide when I appear.
Wish someone would have warned me she would cry,
I’m nothing but a single wasted tear.

Long, slow walk,
Of steps in contemplation.
Low, slow talk,
To self in concentration.

To the end,
Where unknown in time or length.
To defend,
The self’s unknown source of strength.

Keep going,
Meek in determination.
Keep growing,
To find self-revelation.

Patient trail,
The beginning left behind.
To prevail,
In the meaning that you find.

Quiet thought,
Coaxing stubbornness to yield.
The road sought,
Inner secrets are revealed.

I’m so immersed in thoughts of your beauty
That I see it when I see anything.
I can’t describe it,
Angry at myself,
That my poetry is insufficient
To tell how beautiful I think you are.

I’m so immersed in thoughts of your beauty
That I see you, always, effortlessly.
Just seeing you once,
Though it’s not enough,
Was enough to make me always see you
So beautiful is always in my life.

I’m so immersed in thoughts of your beauty
That I’m not sure you actually exist.
Are you just a dream?
Imagined image?
Maybe I can’t describe your pure beauty
Because reality can’t measure up.

I’m so immersed in thoughts of your beauty
That my heart is broken with frustration.
Give me forgiveness.
Wish I could tell you…
But no words or verse will ever convey
That you are all the beauty in my world.

This spoken language,
Spoken by my heart,
In garbled anguish,
Can’t be deciphered
By a mind that learned
To speak happiness.

My heart is vanquished,
Crying to come home,
In foreign language,
Can’t be understood
By a mind that learned
To listen for joy.

This is when your body learns loneliness,
When your thoughts don’t comprehend what you feel.

All of my life I’ve been known by my name,
And yet as I’ve grown I’ve not been the same.
Hoped my identity would be clearer,
No answer when I look in the mirror—
Who am I?

Born in a world of infinite places,
Encounters with these infinite faces,
My restless spirit seems destined to roam,
Wondering still when I think I’m at home—
Where am I?

Not accidental that I came to be,
But may have missed out on my destiny.
And though I’ve done things of which I am proud,
None of them stop me from asking out loud—
Why am I?

Each moment I age life’s completion nears,
And I regret I might run out of years.
I’m meant for something I need to make so,
But all of this time and I still don’t know—
When will I?

What if I could read your mind?
Know your thoughts…
And feelings
And whether they are changing
By a lot...
When actions
Seem to change just a little.

What purpose my confusion?
You are a…
Mystery
Because the real that I see
May be real
Only to me
Because I want it to be.

Each and every thing you do
Happens here…
But there too
In my world of fantasy
Where it makes
Perfect sense
And true love explains it all.

So what if I get it wrong?
Just a fool…
Not worse off
Because a fool can still hope
And will hope
Forever
Happily in fantasy.

I see fine art when I look in your eyes,
And your voice sings in perfect melody.
E’en the thought of you I romanticize,
I read fairy tales in the you I see.

Your eyes a subtle pleasing pair in rhyme,
All history’s beauty found in your smile,
Your touch beats my heart in meter and time,
Your moves transcend every poetic style.

All of the poems written about you,
Inadequately composed by myself,
Are merely shadows of art that is true.
You are the words of a poem yourself.

Peeling off layers of humility
To at last reveal authenticity,
To exhibit my pride most shamelessly,
I accept this vulnerability.

To be who I am confronts irony,
As still letters mask personality.
The art form I love has complicity—
The true self hides inside true poetry.

To shed this self-loathing ability,
And be honest in rhyme’s complexity,
I create pages of pure fantasy
That speak the words I feel most honestly.

Words tend to survive mortal’s history,
Past their reflection of reality,
So they seem written with mendacity,
Though lies are beyond my capacity.

Today I acknowledge futility
Of a poem that lacks identity.
This writer makes no more apology—
I am written words and the words are me.

Creating a scene
Won’t make you be seen.
Not in real way,
The way you can say,
“This is who I am.”

Creating a scene
Won’t make you be seen.
The outside you show,
Is not how you know,
“This is who I am.”

Creating a scene
Won’t make you be seen.
Others may flatter,
It does not matter,
“This is who I am.”

Creating a scene
Won’t make you be seen.
Not till we can see
Authenticity.
“That is who you are.”

Forever is the moment
The bedside clock strikes midnight
As the insomniac cries,
“How long will I stay awake?!”

Forever is the moment
Staring at the dead of night
Seeing the most starlit skies,
As our lasting Heaven’s sake.

Forever is the moment
Lonesome poets start to write
Words to memorialize
Constant and persistent ache.

Forever is the moment
When finally things feel right
And hopefulness fills the eyes,
And no hearts are left to break.

She's already saved me from myself
By being my alternate path
Away from destroying the self
Towards forgiveness of my self-wrath.

She's the voice I always ignored
It was a voice no one would speak
Sought to put my neck to the sword
She was strength the times I was weak.

How often will she pull me back?
I keep leading her to the brink.
My fears have me under attack
But she doesn't care what I think.

My poor judgment speaks its dissent
"I'm not worth the man you expect!"
With patience she sees my intent
And I change to earn her respect.

Such love feels so undeserving
From depth where my broken heart bleeds,
Her depth of love is unnerving
But I'll be the man that she needs.

I’ve thought about you all day.
Not because I wanted to.
Though I did.
But because I needed to,
To know my heart was beating.

I thanked God for you all day.
Not because I wanted to.
Though I did.
But because I needed to,
To recall life is fleeting.

I spoke about you all day.
Not because I wanted to.
Though I did.
But because I needed to,
To hear the name I’m needing.

I felt my love grow all day.
Not because I wanted to.
Though I did.
But because I needed to,
To feel my world completing.

I discovered you somewhere in the void
Between hope and glory, where words collide
With the need for story,
In that void where restless despair resides,
Where you meet the broken hearts to avoid.

I discovered you at the end of strength
Between fear and surprise, where all hopes fade
Ere fate can realize,
The mistakes that my hopelessness has made,
With expectations abandoned at length.

I discovered you in a world beyond,
Between here and never, where fortune lies
Promising forever,
In hushed awe I could not believe my eyes,
I ardently prayed to have YOU respond.

My voice cries out from forced silence,
Thunderous volume in my ears,
Words preparing to do violence
Against my fear to face my fears.

The times I spoke I have been heard,
But poetry’s not for today.
The world needs action, not a word,
Though I’d prefer to run away.

I wish my writing would suffice
So that I never have to be.
But still, I make this sacrifice
Real life needs the real me.

O silent voice, speak through my pen!
A spirit to articulate!
You will be heard, not if but when!
O voice, it’s you I cultivate!

The L word is so powerful
A response involuntary
The opposite of sorrowful
It’s synonymous with merry.

The L word draws defenses down
It’s a visceral connection.
The antidote to ev’ry frown,
It defies any inspection.

The L word comes as a surprise
Result of the unexpected,
There’s no need to apologize
For how others are affected.

The L word is a mystery,
But you’re always happy after.
Nothing else makes you feel as free
As uncontrollable Laughter.

My love is vast and infinite,
Heart falling fast and intimate.

My love is strong and powerful,
Not feeling wrong or sorrowful.

My love is deep and without bounds,
It’s yours to keep as it surrounds.

My love is real and forever,
Our kisses seal us together.

My love is you and yours alone,
No love more true I’ve ever known.

You are my guide,
My beacon,
My direction.
For when I slide,
So meek in
My dejection.

You are my hope,
My feeling,
My compassion.
You’re how I cope,
When reeling
From my passion.  

You are my soul,
My soulmate,
My connection.
You make me whole,
You create
True perfection.

Memory. These memories are
Exhausting. Clawing, attacking
Me. Weary and hurt I fight them
Desperately. In self-defense
Bloodied. Battered by longing to
Forget. Flailing hands before my
Face. Their relentless assault, it’s
Vicious. I pray for mercy from
Memories. They take all of my
Strength. If I could defeat one I’d
Forget. Each and every one.

Static with words that speak the familiar,
Narrowest thoughts spoken so many ways,
Bare novel spark in the particular,
A tireless writer with nothing to say.

A thousand new words are no less banal,
When a writer is content just to be,
When the compulsion to write is his all,
He writes with no responsibility.

To lose that will is to lay down my pen,
To no longer betray the written word,
Writing not a thing until the moment when,
Something new inside deserves to be heard.

Unique thought must precede what is written,
Needing to write is to seek depths to plumb,
That awesome task with which I am smitten,
Is never to be, but always become.

Which is the skin we must outgrow?
Walls we push against hard and slow.
To knowledge we’re afraid to know.
Restraints that keep telling us no.

What limits are holding us back?
Things we have we think that we lack.
Closing our eyes to turn light black.
Compassion feels like an attack.

What pressures are keeping us small?
Expecting we have to please all.
Afraid to jump in case we fall.
Ignoring doors built in our wall.

What good comes from our comfort zone?
We’re still while friends pass us alone.
Growing our fear of the unknown.
Destiny no longer our own.

I’ve traveled the world
Lying here in bed,
Had places unfurled
All around my head.

I’ve ridden on dreams
To fantastic sites,
And followed the themes
Of songs sung at night.

Drifting to places
That don’t exist,
While here in spaces
That real life missed.

In sleep I don’t stir
And go everywhere,
‘Cause awake I’m sure,
I’m going nowhere.

This. Morning. Brings me. Hope.
Hope. Comforts. My lost. Soul.
Soul. Welcomes. Angel’s. Breath.
Breath. Living. Gift from. Heaven.
Heaven. Smiling. Above. Me.
Me. Thankful. I have. Life.

Those green pastures that go on forever,
Seemingly endless space for life to grow,
Expansive home for life howsoever,
Every variety that God could know.

To lie in company of blades of grass,
Cool and light like the clouds above my head,
Sun from horizon to horizon pass,
Asleep in this green pasture’s sacred bed.

No sense of time as now my senses dull,
I barely notice a faint and distant clap,
I dream a dream that all the clouds are full,
As stinging raindrops wake me from my nap.

The sun has gone but lightning lights the sky,
But even soaked in mud I feel at peace,
With body wet but soul that’s safe and dry,
One cannot live in fear of God’s caprice.

This green pasture that goes on without end,
Where Heaven plays and life has no defense,
I’ll live in faith and to God’s will I’ll bend,
At peace exposed to Heaven’s providence.

The figures in my dreams must be angels,
Speaking in words I can’t hear when awake,
That beauty surrounding me is angels,
Their silent love beyond what I can make.

There’s no love like being loved by angels,
Whose embrace is welcomed by resting hearts,
My most intimate dreams are of angels,
Their love is timeless without ends or starts.

Feelings I feel in dreams come from angels,
Who kiss me with lips that form perfect smiles,
Releasing my soul to dance with angels,
In romantic step down flowered aisles.

I dream to dream once again of angels,
With mystic fingers soft as nothing’s touch,
To once again lie down with the angels,
And dream of angels who love me so much.

Quiet, still, afraid and alone,
I cried out, “Who will hold my hand?”
I felt a voice I had not known
Say, “I will.”

Paralyzed and drowning in fear,
I cried out, “Who will hold me close?”
I felt embraced by a voice near
Say, “I will.”

When loneliness felt close to death,
I cried out, “Who will kiss my lips?”
I felt a voice with tender breath
Say, “I will.”

Hopelessly desperate, no control,
I cried out, “Who will be my love?”
I felt a voice that touched my soul
Say, “I will.”

Her voice I felt set my love free,
I cried out, “Who will love you back?”
I felt my voice outside of me
Say, “I will.”

Days pass, hazy sunrise to misty night,
Yesterday and tomorrow like today,
Again, again, no difference in sight,
The fog that fell will never go away.

Nobody goes out when it is like this.
All routes barren in unpassable gray,
Again, again, another day to miss.
Who would drive blind, in darkness, anyway?

Look around, there is nothing but sameness.
Nothing changes except from slow decay.
Again, again, time falls to the aimless
Stoic and lost in a life thrown away.

Once hurt, just once, and the spirit has died,
Leaving behind an empty shell to stay,
Again, again, each new hour cast aside,
To die just a little more every day.

The hands of time
Count our endless moments.
The hands we hold
Energize love through touch.
The hands that give
Take away our torments.
The hands that heal
Can remedy so much.
The hands that bless
Bring grace upon our soul.
The hands that serve
Make sure we’re not alone.
The hands that write
Use words to make us whole.
The hands that love
Are the best hands to own.

All you ever have to do
Is rest your head
On my shoulder,
On my chest.

And let me breathe in your love,
Adoring you,
Watching you sleep,
All night long.

All you ever have to do
Is just let me
Be the one who
Gives you peace.

And let me breathe in your love,
Protecting you,
Holding you close,
To my heart.

All you ever have to do
Is fall asleep,
Here beside me,
Ev'ry night.

And let me breathe in your love,
And kiss your head,
Until your dreams
All come true.

Which other side would you reflect
If you turn?
What kind of change could you affect
If you turn?
Something new to learn?
Turn.
The world’s your concern?
Turn.

What would be your new direction
If you turn?
You would overcome rejection
If you turn.
That to which you yearn?
Turn.
Live the life you earn.  
Turn.

I see it in my dreams,
And everywhere I look.
In forests and in streams,
In pages of a book.

I see it when alone,
And when I’m in a crowd.
It feels so much my own,
I’m blessed that it’s allowed.

I see it in my heart,                                        
And right before my eyes.                    
In every work of art,                                        In all I realize.

I see profound beauty,
And I can’t look away.
I feel it’s my duty,
To love it every day.

I see the world’s beauty,
No matter where I stand.
It shall never mute me,
Whilst pen is in my hand.

In comfortable manipulation,
The awful painful truth hidden away.
Choosing the numbness of fabrication
O’er trauma in believing what they say.

In the morning my comfort comes from lies,
By nightfall pain comes from the deception.
The calm on which this trusting heart relies,
Crumbles now beneath this cracked reflection.

I yearn for comfort from the painful truth!
I shall tolerate no excuse to live!
Give me no more naïveté from youth!
I prefer the hurt honesty will give.

Painful truth is better than comfort’s lies.
This fact hurts more than I could realize.

This isolated claustrophobia,
Inside, humans packed shoulder to shoulder,
In collective agoraphobia,
Neighbors bashfully quiet and colder.

This space among the masses I travel,
And thank goodness I’m surrounded by clouds.
Up here I can let my thoughts unravel,
Amidst the solitude of faceless crowds.

Above the clouds where daydreams come alive,
I have the space to write without judgment.
Towards Heaven I know my soul can survive,
Dancing in the clouds I see your movement.

Up in the air I’ve left the Earth behind,
With other aimless souls passing the time.
Seems traveling by plane is where I find
The inspiration for the perfect rhyme.