You can keep your secrets. You can keep the past in the past. Just tell me what you need. Because I think we have something That can last. All it takes is your smile to make me smile too. All I need to be happy is to see you happy too
Flashes of yesterday’s garden, deep green under a gray sky-- I step into the canvas, moving slowly, regretful and watchful, with the weight of past light.
So many colored years, some bright, some somber, and you, the voice that ripened youth, the accented syllables opening the hours between cliffs and sky, your presnce re-appearing in soft explosions of living, so painful to let go.
I pray for change, impermanence, for last year’s dust to settle to acceptance, to turn over the pages of the past and to forgive everything.
There are days where I embrace sadness The years of torture as my heart beats The liquid poison I drink to forget feelings There are nights I embrace the misfortune The cold and lonely air wrapping itself around my broken body The way my lungs continue to fill with the polluted gas I call oxygen There are moments I feel sadness and moments the room fills my mind with memories Little miss sadness destructive yet so pure
I wrote this about myself when I was going through a toxic and dangerous time. I was out a lot and drinking heavily. I got into some crazy situations and thought I wasn’t going to even make it past 2019. It’s more about self reflection.
You want perfection While I hold your baggage But can you hold mine For just a second Oh wait you can't I see Also do you want to Remain blameless while I hold all the stakes Well that's fine too Let me spoil you Even with you Sitting on my back That's that true real love I doubt there Ever be a tipping point As I carefully hold it in With no spaces To vent As I smile
What if you could go back in time to a certain moment in your past hoping to alter your life’s grand design and maybe change your future’s forecast?
Would you go back to the day your family fell apart, or when your favorite childhood dog ran away, or when your first love left and broke your heart, or when you finally gave up and chose not to stay?
Ever wonder how different your life would be if a few of those chapters could be rewritten? Or if you accepted a few branches off the olive tree instead of letting your *** of grudges thicken?
People say not to focus on what happened back then or that the idea of “Everything happens for a reason” is true but if I had the slightest chance to visit my past again, I'd do everything in my power to erase you.
I sat down by the tree in the center of the cul de sac and I stared straight ahead for what seemed like days. There was a brand new mailbox and front door, but my ten year old handprint is still on the driveway.
My favorite dog, Louie, used to lay on that windowsill and patiently wait for me to come back from school, and behind that front window was the formal dining room where my dad first taught me how to play pool.
Just behind that was the kitchen where Momma used to make meat patties and gravy, her hands covered in flour, and the upstairs middle window was where my sisters and I used to argue over who was first in line to shower.
The upstairs window on the far right was where my neighbor used to throw small rocks to get my attention. Eight years later, that friend is now in a cemetery and I think about him and his family more than I can even mention.
The memories of my entire childhood are embedded into each brick of this two story house in Candlelight Hills and knowing that my white picket fence past is now nothing but distant fond memories gives me the chills.
These walls in front of me shaped me into who I am today and as I sit here on the curb reminiscing on my own, I know in my heart that no matter where I live or how many years pass, this will always be my home.
Frozen in the past of my mistakes. Trapped in the presence of my regrets. Shuttered by the future of my failures. Your love keeps me warm, as life grows colder. I miss the sweet innocence of my youth. Why did I have to grow older?
Can’t say you’re the best thing I’ve ever had. But you’re the only one that’s remained. It is said that somebody precious always leaves a mark. Guess you never left, because I can still feel the footprint. Your love surely fills the void in my heart. Your beauty so perfect, correcting the errors of my misprints.
I don’t promise, I’ll never let you down. But I know for sure, I’ll never let you go.
One of the Hopes we sing to each other's love buds.