Crimson clouds cloud my vision I see red all over My reflection's blurry in the mirror and its eyes look for cover They're ashamed of what they see as I dream of redemption of wrongs rectified and apologies made of certainty in my being but spiders keep on crawling in the shadows they build webs of guilt and of me, missing you while the sun is out and the flowers sing with their colours It is bright so bright it hurts my dark eyes they're not used to this light of your hand touching petals in a different kind of summer
You can keep your secrets. You can keep the past in the past. Just tell me what you need. Because I think we have something That can last. All it takes is your smile to make me smile too. All I need to be happy is to see you happy too
Flashes of yesterday’s garden, deep green under a gray sky-- I step into the canvas, moving slowly, regretful and watchful, with the weight of past light.
So many colored years, some bright, some somber, and you, the voice that ripened youth, the accented syllables opening the hours between cliffs and sky, your presnce re-appearing in soft explosions of living, so painful to let go.
I pray for change, impermanence, for last year’s dust to settle to acceptance, to turn over the pages of the past and to forgive everything.
There are days where I embrace sadness The years of torture as my heart beats The liquid poison I drink to forget feelings There are nights I embrace the misfortune The cold and lonely air wrapping itself around my broken body The way my lungs continue to fill with the polluted gas I call oxygen There are moments I feel sadness and moments the room fills my mind with memories Little miss sadness destructive yet so pure
I wrote this about myself when I was going through a toxic and dangerous time. I was out a lot and drinking heavily. I got into some crazy situations and thought I wasn’t going to even make it past 2019. It’s more about self reflection.
You want perfection While I hold your baggage But can you hold mine For just a second Oh wait you can't I see Also do you want to Remain blameless while I hold all the stakes Well that's fine too Let me spoil you Even with you Sitting on my back That's that true real love I doubt there Ever be a tipping point As I carefully hold it in With no spaces To vent As I smile