It seems that the only lips to speak my
name
in longing,
are those that hide

in my head

The only creatures that ask for me
for more than just a friend,
speak to me
from

under my bed

The only people who hate the world I live
are those who live

within.

Energy cannot be lost or created, it can only be transformed.

Ever notice that thick and thin start with the same three letters?

A number cannot describe
what it felt
to die

A portion was taken
and you
weren't even shaken

My body is but a number to you
but I
refuse

You now hold a piece of my heart
all because
I wasn't smart

A fraction is all I have to hold,
and honestly?

it's getting quite old

Why is the shampoo bottle clear, but not the conditioner?

I have no trouble getting shampoo out of the bottle, but I'm thinking of ripping apart my conditioner bottle...

Hmmm

Honestly,
I will drown you,

Breathing is but a luxury

I just want to slap you as hard as possible.

This morning, I just wanted to sleep,
Instead,
I was violently woken by your voices

The worst kind of wake up call is
the one that teaches you that nothing
is ever going to change.

I've given up on trying to find a way out,
I've stopped believing I'm not alone
Yet,
I'm still surprised every. single. time.

I thought by now I'd be used to this,
I thought I was the King of Hatred
The Queen of Disappointment

Everytime she screams, or he screams, or
I scream
It hurts just as bad,
I still can feel the weight of my family's dysfunctional fuckery crushing me,
Soon,
I will be nothing at all.

But for now,
I get out of bed,
Look in the mirror,
And smile.

The fakeness of my family lives within me, too

Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.

We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there.

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.
We're setting fire to our insides for fun.
Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home,
It was a flood that wrecked this home.

And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,
I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget,
And my eyes are damp from the words you left,
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
But I'm forever missing him.

And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it

People leave, people die.
That's the only sure thing in this world.

I want to delete my history of you,
but my keyboard is broken,
my mouse doesn't move,
and my laptop is already dead.

In my snuggie,
Like a mofukin thuggie

Sitting all alone in my basement
With less than an hour til 2015

Lying to myself by making
Resolutions

Still, I tell myself
I will be a better person

What.
*******.
*******.

Thank you.

While everyone else is partying,
Having fun with friends,
Dancing into the New Year,
I am at home
In my basement

Alone

How many times do I have to
prove to you
that I
do.
not.
lie?

How many times do you have to
prove to me
that I
am.
not.
strong?

How many times do I have to
say "sorry"
before the word
communicates
my
remorse?

How many times do you have to
say "go to sleep"
before I
do.
something.
I.
*Regret.

I cannot function.

These words may not make sense the morning,

but that's the beauty of writing,
isn't it?

You write what works, what flows, what feels right in the moment,

Then reflect later, thinking

"What the ****?"

Young enough to say what you feel,
Old enough to know your feelings are wrong.

Young enough to embrace love,
Old enough to let it go.

Young enough to laugh openly,
Old enough to be embarrassed.

Young enough to cry freely,
Old enough to stop

Young enough to feel pain,
Old enough to know there is more to come

Young enough to write,
Old enough to communicate.

The one guaranteed to break your heart,
he seems like a good idea.



"I hate you" will definitely get you out of this one.



If your lies spill out of your mouth faster than your heart is beating,
they won't even know.

If I were you,
I would love to hate myself

I've been called "******" so many times,
It seems to be written in the stretch marks of my thighs.

The only thing I can't stand is hearing sorry from someone who doesn't mean it.

Seeing all these words
Written in spite of our latest
Mothers
Haters and
Lovers

Makes me realize:
Writing is not a cure
Writing does not help

Poetry will not close the door in his face
Poetry will not tell him "no,"

These words do just the
opposite

Telling our latest
Mothers
Haters and
Lovers

They have caused
these words,
once beautiful,
to become

Tainted.

I wonder
why we fear
the very thought of
Death

He and I were Cat and Mouse,
drawn together in a deadly embrace

It could be proven deadly to only one of us
in the end

We switched roles, he and I.
I could be a chasing Cat, he a fleeting Mouse
or,
I could be a weak Mouse, he a dangerous Cat

Being the Cat - that was power,
but it went to our heads

Being the Mouse - that was vulnerability,
we both gave in.

Eventually,
we both became the Cat,
chasing to no avail.

We, then,
both became the Mouse, and
we both fell.

Exausted from running

From a cat that wasn't even there.