This morning, I just wanted to sleep,
Instead,
I was violently woken by your voices

The worst kind of wake up call is
the one that teaches you that nothing
is ever going to change.

I've given up on trying to find a way out,
I've stopped believing I'm not alone
Yet,
I'm still surprised every. single. time.

I thought by now I'd be used to this,
I thought I was the King of Hatred
The Queen of Disappointment

Everytime she screams, or he screams, or
I scream
It hurts just as bad,
I still can feel the weight of my family's dysfunctional fuckery crushing me,
Soon,
I will be nothing at all.

But for now,
I get out of bed,
Look in the mirror,
And smile.

The fakeness of my family lives within me, too